I haven't seen much standup. Who has used that concept?

The premise is used in about 50% of all high school valedictorian graduation speeches.

I wouldnt be surprised if the crowd being ugly has also been used.

The second one could be improved i think by ending with something like:

" i am just saying this in case you guys find it weird i stare dead center all show. Not to say you guys in the middle are all ugly, just most of you."

Or something like that, obviously with more thought.

You can even work in calling or implying on side of the room is vastly better looking. Make jokes about segregation still being alive in america. Etc.

Or just stare at a single person.

Edit:
Some more stream of conciousness

in darkish rooms with some of it illuminated.

" i am just lucky all the ugly people chose to sit under the lights. Or maybe everyone in here is ugly and i just cant see the rest of your ugly mugs. I like to think this isnt the case. I just sometimes want to believe there is beauty in the world. Call me an optimist if you will(could even make a glass half full joke reference but say like room half attractive or something, who knows)"

You get the point.

Phresh,

Anytime you can take a worn out premise and make it fresh, you have big potential. I think you're really onto something here with the idea of staring at one specific person and getting a super huge boner.

Custer,

I don't see how your versions are that much different than what I have, you've only expanded the punchline to be slightly more specific.

The premise of "imagine the crowd naked" is obviously used. That's why I'm using it. Because it's a known phrase. Haven't heard people talking about getting boners and people being ugly though.

I'll come back with a Roundtine bit that you'll all think is gold.

Eh, i forgot to mention my post and ideas are building of Larrys idea of extending it. You could easily go 2-3 minutes with the joke instead of 20 seconds and i think it benefits.

Your original of simply being in front of ugly people so not worrying, even if it is original in a standup setting, isnt the great alone imo because its a joke often made in conversation when the phrase comes up. Aka getting boners and/or not getting a boner due to people being ugly. The ugly punchline falls pretty directly from making a boner reference.

I guess I don't have enough conversations involving boners to recognize how commonplace that joke is. I actually thought those bits would do better without expansion. Glad to hear you think otherwise because that's a huge chunk of my personal humor.

I think basically if you say anything in terms of imagining the crowd naked and you just say something in the next 15-20 seconds, it has to be so outrageously good, that I'm not sure it is possible for even some really good comics to come up with.

It is like that famous saying, if I had more time I would have written you a shorter letter. You are going to have to be insanely good for a quick audience naked joke to work.

But expanding it out and making it into a decent bit could have potential.

What if you mentioned the boner, and then went into a bit about getting boners at the wrong time, and coming up with worse and worse situations to get huge boners in.

Phresh,

If nothing else, you've proven that literally anyone else who tries is better at this than YTF.

<naked audience set up> Give a smirk while pointing at a guy in the front row. Say, "sir!" while giving a thumbs up.

Phresh,

You could throughout your set from time to time request certain people scoot over, or sit down, take their jacket off, etc. Then at the end, say something like, sorry about all my requests during the set, it's just that I was doing the imagine the audience naked thing and wasn't always liking what I was seeing, and other times... (glancing over at some really hot chicks you had move closer to you or something).

Maybe I should snap a few pics? Maybe record some video? Then to bring out the big guns, I take a drink of water halfway through my set, but it's laced with Viagra.

LL,

Valid points. I just didn't realize the naked crowd thing was so done. These weren't meant to be haymakers or anything, just quick thoughts jotted down. I'll come up with that million dollar Roundtine idea soon enough.

There's tons of variations.

Oh damn son, I'll scratch that off my routine (that I'll never perform). No idea's original!

Yeah. Cosby went all-in on that joke.

If Cosby has touched that material you're better off not even scratching it.

You know how in elevators, you have to press the alarm button for three seconds to actually call for help? Here, they have recently increased the time to 5 seconds and are debating to go even further; after all, the data clearly shows less incidents happening the longer the button has to be pressed.

I guess it's not rape rape if you have to decide between getting raped or pressing that icky button for a full minute...

It will also be an awkward 45 minutes being stuck (of course we are stuck, it's an elevator) with your rapist, waiting for help to arrive. "Soooo... you're going to jail, huh?"

Europa,

Don't quit your day job.

I'm not scared of public speaking but I am imagining you are attractive.

I've never had a boner spring up with enough force to topple a podium. Totally jealous.

What if you started on the audience naked joke and say you have found it works great in some situations, and bad at others.

For example I was hosting a 3 year old birthday party for my kid and his preschool class...

If you could find a lot of scenarios to keep kinda one-upping the one before, it probably won't work, but I really don't see many other ways of doing the joke.

Potential boner segue - "Now that I've gotten you all to look at my crotch..."

Phresh,

If you go mean...

Look at someone, sorta but probably not a specific person..."I can see that's not going to be a problem tonight. " look aside and "gaaa, did you get a load of that one? I don't think I can ever be with a woman again....Ok, well....maybe 'again' isn't the right word there."

Probably only viable in sizable venues unfortunately

Avoid the imagine people naked thing at all costs, but if you absolutely have to do it, do something like this:

(while sweeping your gaze across the room)
So they say that you're supposed to imagine the audience naked, and
(stop speaking suddenly and just stare at someone for a few beats)
uhh sorry, as I was saying,
(stop speaking suddenly and just stare at a new person)
(adjust your stance so it looks like you're trying to shift your package while pretending not to)
um yeah, ok, I uh
(move on to next joke)

probably works best if you pick a hot chick for the first person and then a dude in a group of friends for the second person.

Could use it as a closer, ending with "umm I have to go now" Then waddle off the stage. Or use as an opener or earlier, and every so often, pretend to keep getting distracted by the second person and staring for a few beats. Second person absolutely must be in a group of friends for this so they can howl with laughter at his expense.

If you aren't willing to go full comedian, you can always thank the person at the end for being a good sport and telling the audience to give them a hand.

This right here is the whole thing

and its pretty solid, I wouldn't be surprised if this is fairly common tho