Yes, it did. Perhaps too easy. The first six months were the hardest. The lifestyle came easy. The 500 pound gorilla was the constant (and irrational) fear I was experiencing. I always had a sense of impending doom. Every sound I heard, especially at night, kept me on pins and needles. What was that? A serial killer out of hitchhikers and prostitutes? A SWAT team thinking my tent may be a clever ruse for an illegal poker room? A Mechanical Sasquatch from that episode of "The Six Million Dollar Man"? All of these ran through my head. Paranoia will destroy ya, a wise band once said. Occasionally, I would hear human voices. Sounds can travel far at night. These were often just other degen gamblers walking in herds from the track to the bus stop. Still, I would crawl up in a fetal position and pray to Jehovah, Allah, Buddha, Krishna, George Clooney and beg for my safety. I cannot remember exactly when I was able to overcome these fears. One day they just stopped. From that point forwards, salad days my friends. Salad days.

The logistics were dead simple...
1. Buy tent.
2. Find suitable location.
3. Move in.
4. ????
5. Profit. Well, in my case, not profit.

how do u have interenet access from your tent?
what led you to live in a tent?

pics?

Looks like someone needs to go to Remedial Thread Reading School.

just got done reading thread. sorry i didnt see that it was 16 pages. i thought it was one page

did something tragic happen to you before you started the tent venture. seems like something may have happened that made you want to get away from it all.

how did u deal with the dew? this drives me insane in a tent

Tragic? Depends on your definition, I reckon. I became bored with life. For me, that was the worst tragedy imaginable. Clay Aiken losing in the finals of American Idol remains a close second.

Yes, dew and condensation did become a chronic problem inside the tent. I slowly solved the problem over the years. They say that "necessity is the mother of invention", or something like that. Though he has been dead for 70 years, it did not keep Thomas Edison from suing me for copyright infringment.

The floor - I added carpeting to the tent. Yes, carpeting. I cut out several squares from remnants I procured from a carpet store dumpster and then placed a tarp over the carpet. Voila, no more moisture from the ground. I also invested in a sleeping mat. It was more comfortable than any Sleep Comfort bed and at a fraction of the cost! A piece of advice, never buy a mattress from a spokeswoman who has a neck Geoffrey from Toys R Us thinks is excessive.

The sides - On most nights, I would throw over a second rainguard, one that always larger than the tent that I was currently using. That helped. I then employed a battery powered fan, when necessary, to lessen the humidity. I also had a tent better than me. Though I was just one person, I had a 2-3 person tent, so even if the sides became dewey, I would be less likely to come into contact with them. Hope this helps.

It is 2.3 pages.

bumping this awesome thread for updates, more stories...

fthaaaaaaaaaaaack !!

just found this thread yesterday, awesome read!

Rundown of degen cast of characters please.

I lived in tent for six months and I often reminisce about the experience.

differences with OP
-usually had vehicle
-hawaii
-surfed everyday
-girls want to spend a night in an oceanfront tent

I could never live in Hawaii. Hard to be a degen there. No legal gambling. I suppose one can bet the lava races or wager on what teenage surfer girl will lose an arm to a shark this week. Both are -EV. Must have been great, though.

More stories to come....

Great thread. Can't think of anything that hasn't been asked except what stakes/type of poker are you playing?

I'm not. I believe I am finally finished with the fantasy of Fthack : Professional Poker Player. I still play in a weekly home game, from time to time, when I get the itch. It has to be a very strong itch. I will bathe in Cortaid first. I love the game, just not the lower forms of humanity that gravitate towards it. Like bugs to a flame. You want to know why we are doomed as a species? Take a quick glance around a live 2/5nl poker table. I cringe just thinking about it. And this is coming from someone like me! Poker is the only "skill" game I know where the least talented player can win (i.e. Jamie Gold, Darvin Moon, the idiot from Northern Europe etc.). I cannot think of another. Bowling, no. Bridge, no. Pinball, no. Global Thermonuclear War, no. I love racetrack and sportsbook degens. They are loveable losers. They lose a photo finish, their 12-1 shot is disqualified etc., sure they will swear like a $20 whore for 5 minutes but then they are onto the next race. The last race didn't even happen. As for the poker degen, I still hear bad beat stories from two years ago, and most of these aren't bad beats at all, just bad play. God help us all when they catch a heater. They all think that they are Johnny Friggin Chan and will let you, the dealer, the host, the valet parkers and the girl at the drive thru window at Burger King know it. Though I know, with patience, I can beat these people. I have. I just think I can find better ways to occupy my mind, like sitting naked in a Catholic Church eating Rocky Road ice cream or reading Nietzsche to my goldfish, Steve.

As for online poker, IMO it is not even poker! It is a business. But I will save that rant for another time....

You didnt have sex in 10 years that you were in the tent. Have you since you left the tent?

Saying you'd rather live in a tent than a home in california or vegas is just stupid, no matter how much u hate todays society or how many posts you and burgundy make trying to make it sound ok.

Lovin the thread but enough with the "it wasn't too bad" or "I'm still livin better than 70% of the world" stuff.

Ah, the sex question has once again reared its ugly head. I really don't get the fascination with it. Okay, so I didn't have sex. Wrap me up in duct tape and send me to Hell! To answer an obvious future question, yes, previous to the tent years, I had sex. A normal amount. Now I wasn't John Holmes. I did not possess his stamina or equipment, however, I can count the women that I have systematically destroyed (via the nasty) on my hands and feet, with two toes to spare.

My last real girlfriend as you well know, if you have done your reading, was with a beautiful, but tragically flawed woman. We were together for about two years. Our last fight is when I failed to show up for her birthday party. Sure, that was a bad move on my part, but don't blame me. It fell on 1998 Breeders Cup day. The Skip Away, Silver Charm, Victory Gallop, Awesome Again Breeders Cup Classic. No way I was going to miss that.. not even for cheap, drunken birthday sex! I cashed the exacta.

To get to your question, the answer is no. Again, not because I am a freak, but I just have little or no desire for it. Does this make me asexual? I don't think so. Young scanity clad girls still get my juices flowing. [Now continuing after taking a quick cold shower] It is I am just not interested. I have been to that movie. I know how it ends. To some, sex is better than 'Gone With The Wind'. My experiences have been on par with 'Caddyshack 2'. The first (or several) times with a new conquest is thumbs up, then it becomes nothing but a bad sequel.

Will I have sex in the future... probably. Will I miss out if I don't... nyet.

You are a wise, well-bred, evolved specimen. A carbon form above and beyond your sentient years, 'ILiketoParty'. Thanks for straightening me out. I will move into the Golden Nugget and requisition a dozen Jello Shots immediately.

Great thread, fthack.

I went through this whole thing, and I don't think you talked about this.

How many pairs of underwear/socks/etc. did you have, and how did they get cleaned, if ever?

You really should be back in the tent if this is your attitude towards people who dont find this "adventure" in your life as awesome as you do.

Its just ridiculous the way youre trying to glorify you sloshing thru muddy swamp water to get home, anytime you open up food you get ants immediately, no sex with women for ten years, and hanging out at a dog track with all your "fellow degens" (other homeless people) among many other truly disgusting and crappy things you had to do to live in a tent. I enjoy reading the stories but when you try to glorify basically just being a degen dog track bettor living in a tent and then make your wanna be condescending remarks to guys like me who dont really see the fascination it makes you look like a gambling addict trying to justify his truly pathetic life so he could keep gambling.

Its just comical the way you act about this adventure like it was actually something "good." Your response about the jello shots shows how defensive you get when others dont think this is as cool as you do, you try and direct the bad attention onto me, even tho youre the dog track degen who had to live in a tent for 10 years.

People with the "I hate society" attitude, lol gimme a break dude. Grow up

Be more judgmental.

I agree.
I dig the stories, and the degen situations you went through. But you do come off condescending. I'm also sick of the whole "I hate society" life and attitude, like "i dont own a cell phone, i dont watch tv" like nobody cares.

You feel that living in a dirty tent, not doing a ****ing thing for 10 years is your way of being free and giving society the finger.
Nobody is jealous of that, and ppl dont want to be told they have to feel like "sellouts" because they like clothing styles, sex with women, eating a good meal, or not ****ting in the woods.

There's a simple answer to that .... lots. I went through lots of clothes. Earlier in the thread, I discussed how I washed things, however, like you have surmised, socks and underwear were an entirely different animal. Clean underwear, and especially clean socks were important. Other clothes, shirts, coats, pants etc, I could get used for pennies. I would usually buy a three pack of new socks once a month. New underwear maybe every three months. I could never bring myself to wear used socks or underwear. Yuck.

Okay.

Okay.

There are millions, if not billions of correct (and incorrect) ways to go through this silliness that we call life. An example... Mother Teresa = correct, Muammar Gaddafi = incorrect. If I somehow come off as a condescending, sloshing muddy swamp lover who hates society, then so be it. (FYI - I don't hate society. Society, past and present, is the biggest degen there is! Talk about wasted potential.) I suppose I sort of got carried away. How dare that someone might want to live a bit differently than the masses, right? Lets kill everyone who doesn't work 9-5, have massive debt, own Season 1 of "Kate Plus 8" on DVD, and aren't collectively killing the ozone layer. Just kidding, of course. I couldn't give a flip about the ozone layer. It has never done anything for me.

If my previous lifestyle doesn't suit your palate, then I salute both of you. Obviously you have beat Life in ways I cannot even imagine. You both have something that I don't... raison d'être, meaning for life. Fantastic. Cheers. Hooray for Karamazov! I am serious here. One must find his own drummer, because in the end, we are all the same... food for worms. I bet you two would make no excuses how you have lived your lives, and I am certainly not going to start apologizing for mine.

This was never the correct forum to start a thread like this. I have tried to answer people's questions as honestly as I could. I knew when I set out here, there would be those who would go out of their way to crap in my punch bowl. We mock what we don't understand. I made my bed, now I will lie in it. But I do now own satin sheets. I am such a sellout.

You reach so hard aÑd go so far out in left field with your replies I have a hard time believing no hard drugs were in your past.

I'm niot crapping in anyones punch bowl at all. Its just when you started talking down to people about their roles in society and your lame "I should go move to the golden nugget" replies it just comes off as utterly pathetic, since you're the degen who had to live in a tent for ten years.

You come off acting like you've "got it all figured out" and were all wasting our lives when you just came off ****ting in the woods for ten years. That's what's pathetic, you're so bitter about these "jellyshot" people that you literally had to go hide in the woods for ten years to feel ok about yourself.

What kind of guy goes sexless for ten years? And doesn't care????

Ya uve got it all figured out guy

Next I can't wait to hear about how cool you are for eating food out of a dumpster. Oh damn, we already went there

This sums up your arrogance perfectly.

Its not like were ripping yuour religion or the fact you got married or something. You lived in a friggen tent and were at the dog track everyday. You **** in the woods, slushed thru muddy swamp water, fought off critters, never had sex, basically just lived the life of a degen loser for ten years.

Then when we dont think its as awesome as you did and arent just gushing over you you act as if we're the strange ones and we need to figure our lives out, go figure. Got a dude in a tent telling me about life, just hilarious

But what kind of guy can really go sexless and live in a tent for ten years anyways??? Yeah, I must be the weird guy here LOL