I saw some sort of open ended questions about AA and other things in the quitting drinking thread - so I thought I would offer this up.

I first went to rehab in Oct 2001, again in July 2004, and again in July 2007. Been clean and sober since 7/7/07. I attend AA regularly, have a sponsor, work the 12 steps, etc.

All rehab stays were inpatient. My last stretch was 5 months (July - Nov), followed by 4 months in a sober house. Also been in county detox here and there. Never arrested for anything.

My main thing was the booze, but I'll abuse anything I can get my hands on, from OTC meds to grass to prescription drugs to vanilla extract and mouthwash, etc. Never tried any of the "street drugs" though.

BTW - I'm 38, have a wife and 2 kids, have a boring desk job with benefits. Both my wife and my employer stuck with me through everything which is awesome. Married 16 years, same employer 15 years. I have been very lucky.

Ask away.

What caused you to relapse? Did you admit yourself into rehab willingly?

I did admit myself into rehab willingly every time.

As far as the relapses - that's tough to explain. There were several too...

After my first treatment, I though all the AA stuff was bull****. I stayed sober on my own for a year and a half. When in rehab, I was told that major life changes for the first year should be avoided when possible. I took that to mean that if I stayed sober a year I was cured. Plus everyone else in rehab with me was a total degen (in my mind), homeless, jobless, multiple DWIs, crackheads, etc. I was different from them and thus thought (eventually) that I wasn't really an alcoholic.

Is your liver shot? I had a friend of mine that loved the pills and alcohol. She died at 36 from liver failure.
Also did you just kind of start out drinking sometimes and then it gradually became more and more often?

What did it take for this to happen? Was your life spiraling out of control? Friends suggested you do so?

Do you consider yourself an attention whore?

do you believe in god?

Liver good last time it was checked. It was in bad shape at times - elevated enzymes or whatever, but it always recovered when I sobered up.

I've been told the liver is relatively resilliant, so long as it doesn't get beyond the point at which it can repair itself.

My health problems were more with my nervous system. I had alcoholic neuropathy for a while in early 2007. I was even in the ICU for three days - they thought I'd had a stroke until the truth came out about how much I was drinking.

How much and how often did you drink?

How much?

You mean by starting this thread or general?

I certainly was before sobering up. Now? Dunno. Though aren't we all to varying degrees?

I don't believe in the judeo/chirstian God, but I do believe in a higher power.

Every day without fail - at its worst (2006-mid 2007) I was drinking a handle a day (1.75 liters) of 80 Canadian whiskey or vodka.

Lifetime estimate on money spent on alcohol/drugs?

The first time it was some not good test results after a physical and at the urging of my wife. After that, any drinking I did was underground. My wife generally new what was going on, but friends had no idea.

The 2 following that it was things getting totally out of control. I had become a complete slave to the bottle. Every waking moment was consumed with obsessing about booze, how much I had at home, which liquor store I used last (I rotated among 4 because I didn't want the store clerks to think I was a drunk), how much I could drink at work without getting noticed, how many pocket flasks to bring if I was leaving the house, etc.

In rehab they had us tally an estimate. That was a while ago. I remember it being well into the 6 figures - more than $250,000.

My total was less than most though as I didn't have any court costs, jobs lost, lawyer expenses, etc.

Omg! Do you weigh 400 lbs? I asked the question because I think I drink too much, like 3 drinks 5 days a week.

6'2" - 200 lbs. This was over an entire day, not just one sitting.

It's more than some, less than others. When you drink constantly for years and years, anyone's tolerance will go way up.

Some days I had to down a pint first thing in the morning just to get my hands steady enough to put toothpaste on the toothbrush.

Congratulations on being sober.

I'm curious if it makes it easier for you to have an interesting date like 7/7/07 to hold on to. Like maybe that's a little extra incentive to stay sober. I think it would be for me, because I just have a mind for things like that. Does this mean that you had your last drink on 7/6/07?

In rehab, do the handle-a-day drinkers secretly think stuff like "lol noob you drink less than a fifth a day, come back when you have a real drinking problem"?

OK, given that this paragraph describes very closely where my head is at right now, please give some detail about when/how/why you fell off the wagon. Just a casual decision to have a drink, or did something happen that made you seek solace? Did you "forget" how bad it had been? In retrospect, what would you have done differently?

Given your family situation, how in heaven's name were you able to go to rehab for five months? Who paid for it? Who supported your family while you were gone?

Congrats!

Does your desire to drink / struggle not to drink - wax and wane? or is it fairly consistent? diminishing as time goes by?

Since it's been 3 years since your last run through - has the desire to drink felt stronger?

(also - super awesome that your wife and employer have stuck by you - beyond the addictive side of your personality - you must have some very good qualities)

How old are your kids? How often did you and your wife fight? What kind of job (specifically) do you have?

Thanks.

I sometimes joke that my date is the only thing that keeps me sober. But in reality it doesn't matter too much. 7/7/07 is the date of my last drink. Some folks track with their first day sober (new school) and some track the date of their last drink (old school).

7/7/07 was the day I checked into rehab the last time and I walked in drunk, drinking literally right up to the door and leaving an empty bottle in the ash tray/garbage can dealie by the entrance.

I don't really know what others "secretly" think (LDO). First time in rehab that was definitely on my mind, from the other way. As in, I don't drink half as much as some of these guys so I must not have a problem.

Most were there because they wanted/needed to be and understood (it seemed to me at least) that it's not about frequency/volume. We did share "war stories" with each other outside of formal groups when we would shoot the **** or whatever. And sometimes there was the old one-upsmanship happening.

That and I was never in an alcohol only program either. It was always a mix of druggies and alcoholics. It's tough to compare alcohol with how many crack rocks or grams of meth in a day.

I don't recall ever hearing someone share about their use (in treatment or in an AA) meeting where my gut response that they may not need to be there. There is always something about other's stories, some degree of mental obsession.