Why does it have to be someone's fault?

Is it anyone's fault that people are born with down's syndrome? Or that hurricanes happen?

The fault lies with some people outside this girl, possibly, but NOT with the girl. that's absolutely ridiculous for the reasons I already outlined.

Someone who commits suicide is not the victim

When it's a child, yes. It is.

Pretty sick to think a child knows the real scope of what she's doing when she's about to commit suicide.

*Or anyone who is mentally ill.

but yes, especially a child.

Most of the population grew up w/o a cellphone or social media and I'd be surprised if anyone who grew up without a cellphone would say they were less safe growing up.

I also think Facebook is probably a net negative for humanity.

That's because you're old (me too). Facebook and all that **** is of extreme importance to kids today. It's their voice. If you delete them off the net, then they will feel like they will be an even bigger target for bullies. Everybody, especially the "cool kids" have an online presence, and all kids are trying to fit in.

That being said, I agree with you, but it's very easy to see the emotional extent the bullying has over a kid when that kid kills him or herself. Most parents are going to think it'll pass just like when they were kids. Unfortunately, the world has gotten much smaller, and it's possible to bully 24/7. That's something, as you outline, parents need to wake up to.

You're completely wrong. FB/etc. , besides for school itself, is the epicenter of social life for american kids. Not being a part of it is simply out of the question for people this age, sadly.

lol @ me being wrong.

lol @ your kids being hippie outcasts

Only read the first page of the thread but basically this.

On a bigger note, I've struggled with this for a long time. I'm firmly in the camp that everyone's actions and personality is molded and learned from the environment they have been exposed to (except in a mental illness situation then all bets are off). And if that's the case, nobody really deserves blame or credit for anything that they do (although in everyday life I place blame and credit constantly as everyone does).

As an example, I'm a law abiding citizen that treats people with respect and pretty much doesn't do anything morally wrong (traditional standards of morality). However, I don't know any other way. That's they way I've been taught and that's the environment I've been in for most of my life (my parents are good, moral people). Do I deserve credit for being this way? I say no. It's all I know.

Anyways, hope this isn't too much of a derail but I thought it pertinent given the first pages "blame game" that was going on.

You are basically denying free will here and removing any responsibility from the individual and this is wrong. Regardless of your situation growing up you have the capability to make choices and are responsible for the outcome of those choices. Waving away horrible things that people do because "they were just raised that way" opens to the door to all sorts of terrible things.

I won't let my kids on facebook or have cell phones when they're 12, either. I don't give two ****s what all their friends' parents allow.

and if they get bullied for it, it will be for a few minutes at school, maybe even more than a few minutes....and that's ok...because its not 24x7 by everyone they know online.

My thinking will never be the norm. Nor should it be. And again, in everyday life, I don't live my life based on the principle that nobody is to blame or nobody should be given credit. I don't want to live in a world that works that way.

But at the end of the day, every single choice I've ever made has been the product of my environment and how my personality has been shaped by my environment. I am not capable of hurting someone for no reason. Like, literally, I would not be able to make my body lift a knife and stab someone for no reason. I did not make that "choice" to be that way at a certain point in my life. That's who I am and it's because of the environment I've been in.

There are reasons why someone else is able to lift that knife. And that reason is not because that person is intentionally evil. That just doesn't make any sense. Why are they capable of it?

I struggle with this quite a bit. It's not the way I "want" to think, but it's the only thing that makes any sense.

Thinman's twelve year old daughter -

You just bought new wheels for your car and we can't even afford to buy me a phone? All my friends have phones! I am the only person in my seventh grade class that doesn't have a phone, my friends say I should call Social Services! You spend thousands of dollars on those cars and you can't even buy me the one thing I want? I don't want a bike, I want a phone!

I wanted just one thing for my birthday and Christmas and you couldn't even get me that! Janie's parents said it must be because you are losing your job, is that it? Do you make less than all the other parents or is it just because you hate me? The teachers think it's because you are weird, did you know that? I want a phone!

Repeat ad nauseum until Thinman buys her a new phone. (and she then begins asking for the next thing, lol.)

"i didn't offer you a bike, go to your room"

My kids don't have Facebook and have never once expressed an interest in getting it.

This doesn't remove you from the responsibility for those choices. And you probably have thankfully never been put in a situation that will test your ability to do or not do something.

Of course I have. Everyone has. I could choose everyday to do the wrong things, all the time, every waking moment.

I never said anything about responsibility. Everyone is still responsible for their actions and measures need to be taken to prevent bad choices and actions. We're talking about blame and why those bad choices are made.

On a more serious note, I do think we need to make children more aware of the services available to help them cope with the ever changing technology in their lives. Simply assuming that, because they've grown up with various social platforms means that they will always have the skills needed to cope is probably shortsighted.

This young lady needed help in dealing with her problems. I never assign blame, but that doesn't mean that we, as adults, don't need to assess our roles in how young people address stress in today's world and at least try to give them coping mechanisms to succeed. Life is more complex today and we need to make sure that programs are in place that least help in dealing with that complexity.

that you think this will work or that it does work on you is humorous to me.

this is a very sad thing and, while facebook is to blame, the parents of those little bullying kids are to blame too.

if my kid is on facebook at the age of 12 I as a parent have to take care that they dont do anything stupid that damages their life or the life of someone else.

You can raise your kids however you like and to be honest, I doubt what your doing in regards to FB will have much of an impact either way.

However, I will say this. Focus should be on how to deal with bullying and not on preventing it (from an individual parenting perspective). And restricting FB will have no affect. If a kid is going to be bullied, it makes no difference if they have access to FB. And in person bullying is many degrees worse that anything that can be done online.

If the kid is going to be bullied, they're going to be bullied. Restricting FB will do nothing to prevent that.

I was bullied mercifully in Junior High and High School but I had parents that taught me how to deal with it and I had a base personality that got me through it. And it made me a stronger person in terms of coping skills and what not.

FYP. Has nothing to do with FB.

FB is not to blame here. That's outrageous.