I am a 45 yr old with a wife and two daughters who are under ten. I began online a few years ago and was basically a losing player.

I progressed to bricks and morter two years ago, and became a winning player. Last year $30k, this year $80K. I progressed rapidly from 1-2 NL cash to uncapped 10-20 and 20-40 and 25 - 50 live cash. I never play tourneys.

My background is I am a successful professional (as is my wife) and we have a family income of over $400K/yr.

The problem - I love poker. I enjoy the challenge of crushing other players (live) (especially pros!!) more than most other things. I really enjoy winning.

My wife hates poker and the thought of me going to a casino. I have lied to her three times, promising to stop and going back. I find I think about poker a lot. I resent not being able to play more. I sneak to the casino a lot, neglecting some of my work/home life (only some!!). I think I could probably be earning much more in my regular job if I focused. When I set limits to my play I find myself creeping over the time as the game is good. I have spent 15 -20 hrs a week in the casino over the last year. I get now invited to "private games" as I give action. I have spent many hrs reading all the poker books, watching vids etc.

My wife is unhappy. Am I going down a slippery slope and just FOOLING MYSELF BECOS I AM A WINNING PLAYER (at the moment)?

Thanks for your thoughts. I need to decide if I should give up NOW, before it all goes wrong (family, job, setting an example for kis etc)

D

Welcome to the Forums.

Loving poker isn't the problem.

It's lying to your wife that's the problem.

Seems like you have three options:

- give up poker
- give up your wife
- persuade your wife that poker can be a part of your life without destroying other parts of it

I wouldn't dream of trying to suggest which it should be.

Good Luck.

You sound like a losing player that doesn't keep good records. Wife might be onto something. Have her come in here and give her side of the story.

Obv if you care about your family you should drop poker.

agree with DD, the lying part is a problem.

I can somewhat relate, I have wife + 3 kids under 10 + full time job. I used to play alot online. 4-5 times a week and was supernova on pokerstars. Ithen I burned out which happened when the run bad kicked in. now I play for fun when I feel like it. I play most of my poker on my smartphone using pokerstars mobile app during my daily train rides 2 and from work - because i can.

I'd love to play live but I have to accept that I simply can't do it regularly. I've done it twice in my lifetime and those were special occasions when I was traveling and I had a great time but it isn't realistic. I've never actually played at my local, just isn't worth the hassle even though it still is a little irritating that I can't because I do like playing poker with real cards on real felt.

so what I do is play online. this way I can play when the kids are in bed and the wife is happy. I can also stop and deal with family matters as required. the players are better than live but it is either online poker or nothing for me.

oh and here's an interesting bit, I used to feel like I might be 'too into' poker but then a strange thing happened, I started to lose interest and it is for the best.....for me and my family.

ask yourself bluntly, do you want to lose your family due to a card game? (note how i didn't even mention $ in that question because that shouldn't be at all important, esp given the info you gave us in OP)

the reason I gave you some perspective is because I honestly don't believe that poker is a long term career for nearly everyone - the old adage is that if you have to ask then you aren't cut out to be a pro. You WILL get jaded with poker and you might even start to hate the grind. If that were to happen and you were to lose your wife and kids is that worth it?

that isn't to say you should have to quit, you might choose to though and it might be the right call. can you compromise? eg maybe you have 1 night a week at the casino? play online the rest of the time?

but yeah, don't lie to the wife. happy wife happy life.

goodluck

keyword: MODERATION

Moderation is impossible for a degenerate.

fortyfiveyearold: Why does your wife hate poker and the casino? Why do you need to lie about it? Why is it acceptable to you to lie to your wife?

Wife and 2 kids beats poker every time. You got a straight flush at home and you want to play 2 pair. Poker doesn't love you.

Good job too? Maybe you need help.

Lying and sneaking, you know that's not right.

Hmm... i think good idea can be get some kinda structured calendar when you play, discuss it with family and stick with it. Yeah, but give up family for poker can be your biggest your live mistake imo.

I think i found some videos about this topic on dauces cracked.

This.

IT'S ONLY A GAME.

Lying and sneaking is definetly not a good thing. What is it about poker that your wife hates? I think there's more to the story here.

Has to be said - I can think of a few wives who'd make it a chop.

Mebbe you read the opinion column in this months digest? http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/32...012-a-1262892/

If not you probably would benefit from the links it contains. From your story it does appear you are on a slippery slope but you seem very capable of introspection and of telling yourself the truth. Mebbe follow the links in that article and ask yourself all the questions posed.

If you feel you need to turn something around, I think a trained psychologist could help you in a very few sessions. No shame in that. If you have, and value, a trusting relationship with your family, protect that, it is very hard to rebuild. Playing poker isn't worth losing that.

Thanks to everyone who has posted.

Ill comment and answer the questions posed.

My Wife - an intelligent woman. Believes me playing will put her and the kids at risk. If not now eventually. She is in the psychological field. The fact I needed to lie indicated that I had a poker problem.

Losing/winning player. Started live two years ago with $1,200. Never rebought. Keep records on Poker charts. Winnings 123,000 over two years. I put this in for my ego!!!

Am I an addict - YES. Hard to admit. I have decided to call it a day. CAshing in tomorrow or Monday. I am also asking for a life time ban. Nothing is more important than a happy home. I think where I went wrong is the following - I am normally a very strong person, dealing with other peoples problems and sorting them. When I was a losing online player (smaller stakes) I that poker was for suckers and didnt take it seriously. I then saw a TV programme of a bad pro, who the commentator mentioned goes to a casino that was in my town. I was hooked, thinking I could beat him. For first two months won, but alsways eventually lost. Thereafter have kept on winning. I do think, quite possibly I have had positive variance, but the problem is I have an increasinging creep of casino time in my like from a few hrs, to recently finishing work early everyday and going to try and win more and more.

Its sick and I have been confused bcos of the winning. In fact I was lying and cheating the family, which I plan to stop.

Thanks to everyone for your support/advice
A45yrold

Terrible gimmick, tho.

always possible

[?] a reg poster who didn't want to identify himself.
[?] gimmick trolling the forum.
[X] doesn't matter.

If it doesn't matter, why are trolls banned?

Only the untalented trolls are banned afaik. The talented ones appear to be given a green forum name and a ban hammer.

Good Luck to you, OP.

Good advice to take heed of in this thread. Earning six figures per year and only putting in 15-20 hours a week sounds attractive to me though.

Confirmed first world problem.