guess ill take a stab, feeling kinda creative tonight

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
(Real men of genius)
Today we solute you, Mr. post old news in nvg and act like it just happened guy
(Mr. post old news in nvg and act like it just happened guy)
Phil ivey was interviewed, isildur won a pot, ub is rigged, you break all the news
(Watch out Brian Williams)
You see a youtube video, you rush to the message board to let everyone know what you just saw
(did he reallyyyyy fold a flush!?)
So what if there are already eight threads about it, if you didn't post it, it never happened
(in before kevmath lock)
So crack open an ice-cold bud light, ol' grinder of the interwebs, because you truly make the search option just that, an option.
Mr. post old news in nvg and act like it just happened guyyyyyyy

Yeah, and I still can't hit those high notes.

more like...

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Geniius
(Real men of geniius)
Today we salute you, zombie cowboy smoking a cigar avatar guy
(Mr. zombie cowboy smoking a cigar avatar guy! )
we don't know where that picture comes from
but we know it takes a special kind of guy to find it
(soooooo special)
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. zombie cowboy smoking a cigar avatar guy
you stupid piece of ****
(stupid piece of ****)

imo

nice thread, black aces imo the winner, closely followed by minraiser

Solid gold

Funny stuff but I can't get past equating Bud Light and real men.

American beer is like making love in a canoe....f'ing close to water.
(h/t Monty Python)

Today we salute you Mr. Bum Hunter... someone do this im too lazy and not that witty, but seems to have potential

Today we salute you, Mr. donk out bluff on the river scare card multiway
(Mr. donk out bluff on the river scaaarrrre card mullltiwayyyy)
The pot got capped on the flop and the turn four ways, but maybe, just maybe, that third diamond that paired the board missed everyone.
(Perhaps they'll all fold!)
On the turn you just called, then called two more, then it got capped and you called once again. Now you decide it's the time spring into action with a totally unexpected river bet.
(They're getting twenty six to one!)
Not satisfied with putting in six big bets with zero equity as a caller, you decide that this street YOU are going to be the aggressor.
(outplay those nits!)
So crack open an ice cold bud light Mr. donk out bluff on the river scare card multiway. We're not sure who is going to win this pot you made bigger, but it sure isn't going to be you.
(Mr. donk out bluff on the river scare card multiway)

Omfg I spit out my drink in class while reading this. Seen literally hundreds of people with that stupid ****ing avatar all of them are super donks too.

Fun fact: the eyepatch over his eye is actually the ace of spades!

I like bud light.

Today we salute you, Mr. bluff at dry side pots
(Mr. Bluff at Dry Siiiiiidde Poooooooottttsss)
You find yourself with 8 high and no draw and one player is already all in. Naturally, you decide to bet.
(Bold and aggressive)
Daniel Negreanu can handle 99 consecutive 1 outers just fine, but he can't handle your illogical play.
(Implied tilt odds)
Never mind the berating you get in the chat. You're playing a different game than all of them.
(Someone's going to get their chat banned)
So crack open an ice cold bud light Mr. Bluff at dry side pots. Because even though you can't win, you can make someone else lose.
(Mr. Bluff at dry siiiidde poooooootttss)

so much win

I was thinking about starting a thread about the "oddest vessel you've ever relieved yourself in while playing online", but this is a much better topic...yet shadily along the same lines...

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
(Real men of genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. Broken English Chatbox Berater.
(Mr. Broken English Chatbox BERATER!)
You need to make sure the fish understands just how badly he sucked out on you.
(Two outer on the river!)
Problem is, nothing you type even makes any sense... to anyone.
(Incomprehensible!)
Either you learned your English from cereal boxes or your fingers are just angrily hitting random keys?
("bottom hits fish nut every time"?!?)
We'd tell you to not tap the glass, but we're pretty sure you're confined to a rubber room.
(More than just pot committed!)
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Oh Flabbergasted Master Berater, because your well-constructed arguments put the fish in their place.
(Mr. Broken English Chatbox BERA-A-A-TER!)

I love this thread.

Today, we salute you, Mr. Baby Picture Avatar Guy
(MR BABY PICTURE AVATAR GUY)
So proud that you were able to procreate, you show all of 10NL
(THATS ONE UGLY F***ING BABY)
Its dumb eyes and jerry rigged crib show that even if your inane bluff doesn't work, at least your sperm does.
(WHY COULDNT YOU WEAR A CONDOM)
And when the baby grows up, we know there is a puppy picture just waiting to tilt us
(THAT CHIHUAHUA LOOKS DUMBER THAN YOUR BABY)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr Baby Picture Avatar guy, we wish you were impotent.
(MR BABY PICTURE AVATAR GUY)

love it

Love it!

Today, we salute you Mr. Supernova Elite pursuer.

Sporting underwear and a stained T-shirt you clutch your mouse and prepare for battle.
(gotta get those hands in)

You haven't left your house in 10 months, 11 days, 12 hours and that's just fine by you.
(Does someone really live there?)

With the skill of a seasoned warrior you've mastered the art of bathroom sprinting and 30 second meals.
(I want that freaking Porsche )

Relationships and human interaction pale in comparison to having black stars on your avatar
(they're gonna respect my raises)

So, here is to you, oh champion of the check raise, Mr. Super Nova Elite Pursuer

Today, we salute you Mr. Poker Pro Playing 1/2 Live Guy.

Wearing your full tilt hat, hoodie, sweatpants, sandals and ipod to make sure they know you mean buisness.
(Makes them respect my raises)

You let everyone know about how bad that guy played that hand and what you would have done.
(I have 49 poker books at my house)

When you raise, you make sure you put on your sunglasses so they dont know what you have.
(they cant even spell Poker)

Right now you only play 1/2, but your next table will be in Bobby's room.
(I wonder if Phil Ivey will sign my hat)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Poker Pro Playing 1/2 Live Guy because we all know you were just that one bad beat away from glory.
(Shoulda won the main event)

today, we salute you mr. butso guy that begs from the rail for $5.

you chit, you chat, you flood the box all in an attempt to build your stack
(gotta get a bank roll)

you know that brian hastings enabled observer chat and hope he can spare a cheeseburger (please give me $2.50, and run it twice)

when you get banned, you simply make another alias and continue your plight like its really gonna matter ($5 goes so quick)

right now you multi table $50/$100 nlh play chips and have a virtual roll of $75,000 (its still chips and it builds confidence)

so crack open an ice cold Bud Light, mr. butso guy that begs from the rail for $5 because we all know your some rich bastard's child who is only 11 at the moment. (Mr. 11 year old rich prick who really wants to gamble cheeseburgers).

Lololololol, giving 5* once someone makes the vid, 4* atm!

hope this one is ok, wish i spent more than 5 minutes on it, prob coulda been better

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
(Real men of genius)
Today we solute you, Mr. terrible wcoop main event host guy
(Mr. terrible wcoop main event host guy)
It doesn't matter that you arent playing, you're going to make the table all about you
(me me me me me me me meeeee)
While the players are playing for millions, you are just frolicking along, mindlessly chatting with other canadians
(who the hell were those guys?)
Hometowns, flop bets, and questioning raise sizes, there isnt a topic you won't tilt everyone with
(i cant imagine why everyone would hate me)
So crack open an ice-cold bud light, you ol' green typing samurai, because even if noone wants to listen, you'll be sure to talk anyway.
Mr. terrible wcoop main event host guyyyyyy