What is the stupidest, most BS flag worthy, or freaking weird thing you've ever heard at a poker table that is completely outside of poker, BBV, etc. It could have been someone going for a laugh, utter stupidity, or something so cringe worthy you can't believe the idiot said it out loud.

Here's a few examples to get us rolling...

1. Years ago when the only legal poker on the east coast was AC, in a home game with 3 tables in action. Two regs were telling of their adventures in AC the prior weekend. Weirdo1 starts the story with, "I had just rubbed one out in the shower when Weirdo2 came back to the room with a prostitute." He probably used a different word for lady of the evening, but I couldn't believe he talked about his showering activity in the same way you might say you had a cup of coffee. He proceeded to explain that W2 quickly passed out on the bed drugged and drunk, while the lady demanded payment. W1 said she wasn't getting paid if no one got laid, so they agreed W1 could enter the field of battle. Then W1 explained how in spite of all his best effort, he wasn't up to the task so soon after ummm...showering, so he wasted his friend's money.

2. Seldom used, but one of my standard lines when I take down a really big pot from someone who is directing their anger and abusive foul mouth at me is to say while raking the pot, "I haven't enjoyed a hand that much since I took a jar of vaseline into the men's room." Since I'm the butt of the joke, the dealer can't really complain and the angry player gets even more angry when everyone else is laughing and having a good time.

I once heard a guy say “nice hand” after his aces got cracked.

A man went broke for the night at $1/2. He stood up and said it was time to go home and beat his children. I burst out laughing because I had been soul reading him all night and he was actually not joking.

A few years ago at Winstar, 2 guys had a last long bet for oral sex. The loser bought his way out for $5k.

this made me laugh

1. playing 2-4NL live at local game ... table talk turns to women, one guy turns around and tells the table about how a girl gave him crabs when he was about 16 years old . almost made me yak.

2. funniest thing i ever heard was the same 2-4NL game ... old regular, funny banter told us a story about how he was on a train in China with his wife, and the police came on asking if anyone had seen a woman they were looking for who had committed a crime in the area? the old guy told us he stood up and pointed at his wife, saying 'her' ! they took her off the train and it started moving. he said he looked out the window at her being interrogated and was laughing as he was now free hahaha

There's an old guy at one of my regular games in a Florida card room. He says he's been married 5 times to three different women. He married two women twice. Someone asked him why. He said he wanted to get some of his stuff back.

I thought it was just a good joke, but I've seen people ask him, he says the story is true and he doesn't look too happy about it.

are we talking in general, with the same woman, with each other, or some thing else?

Each other. Guy said if I bust out before you, I will suck your dick. Of course, guy busts out within 30 hands....

LOL

Never bet what you're not willing to lose.

...or win for that matter.

This thread sounds more like Gossip than a Beat, Brag or Variance...