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Originally Posted by fslexcduck
So you make a post and describe what Maurice did wrong, mention nothing that Maria did wrong other than bet a hand, and somehow part of this thread turns into denigrating Maria? Maria is an awesome poker player and person and it's really annoying that some f you make certain assumptions based on how she looks and her gender. It really is amazing to me that some people still think there isn't sexism in poker.
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Originally Posted by fslexcduck
I just wanted to clarify what is sexist for people that claim I "always cry sexism."
Sexism = assuming Maria gets her money from sources other than poker. This assumption is routinely made about women and very rarely about men to a hugely disproportionate degree.
Sexism = singling out Maria for behavior like "sneering" and not calling out Maurice for his behavior. What about all the other guys at the table? It's just annoying for people like Maria when she comports herself extremely well 99.9% of the time, but then the one time she does something that someone doesn't like, lo and behold, it's in a twoplustwo thread. This is obviously a double standard that people highly scrutinize the behavior of women like it is their duty to make everyone feel extremely welcome as if they are the poker hostesses rather than just players themselves. If you don't agree, it's just because you're not paying attention.
Vanessa, I don't fully agree (and I believe I am paying attention). I should clarify that I do agree with you that poker is full of blatant sexism, way beyond what would be tolerated in the corporate world or any normal work environment. Also, 2+2 (including itt) is infused with sexism to such an extent that most people don't seem to notice it. However, I just don't think OP criticising Maria in his account is an example of that. Note that Melanie was also a female at the table who he didn't materially criticise and for all I know there could have been others. Note also that it was not OP who made the comments about the source of Maria's money. Therefore I don't think its fair to say she was singled out by OP because of her gender. OP had reasons (from his pov) to include her in his story:
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Originally Posted by D_Matthews
Anyway, there's a clique in poker. Maria Ho and Maurice obviously thought they were both superior to everyone else. They laughed and chided me and thought it was fine to break rules and etiquette because they're just that far superior to the peasants that troll these games like me.
There were a few other people at the table that refused to say a word in the tournament, but on the break they told me I was right on everything I said.
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Originally Posted by D_Matthews
Maria was quite unpleasant to me. She sneered at me when I disputed Maurice's behavior. She chided me for my criticism of a dealer. It was more of a passive aggressive thing though with her.
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Originally Posted by D_Matthews
Maria was quite supportive of Maurice through this whole thing... you can only assume that part of it was friendship and part of it was he was making my thought process difficult when she was making a river bet. No I don't think she's innocent here. I was trying to decide to call, raise, or fold. All valid options, and he was singing his guts out the whole time. She thought it was comical, and no doubt enjoyed the distraction. You read people in poker. My read was she thought I was a jerk, and she was happy for any difficulty Maurice would introduce.
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Originally Posted by D_Matthews
Yes I think Maria could have changed things. If she had told Maurice he was out of line he might have started to behave... but honestly, she seemed really perturbed about my call with T9 on a board of 98654. In fact, I think it pissed her off. Pretty much there's a club .. she's a member... Maurice is a member... I'm not a member.
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Originally Posted by D_Matthews
Maria rolled her eyes.. and looked at Maurice, and cajoled everyone into looking at me as the bad guy...
I was a jerk because I wouldn't turn my hand over even though I was calling a bet with a weak holding in position where every single possible definition defines me as being able to reveal my hand after my opponent.
Essentially, Maria did not want to be embarrassed by showing the hand that she bet with, so I'm an ******* for forcing her to show her hand or muck it.. or forcing the dealer to muck it... or something...
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Originally Posted by D_Matthews
The bigger problem for me was the "Jeopardy" hand that she was in. She seemed to enjoy Maurice's actions and certainly did not tell him to stop. After the hand it was business as usual with smiles and laughs all around. Here online she says that she felt Maruice was wrong in what he did, but when we were at the table, you would have thought that they were best friends for years. She certainly did not speak up about that at the time.
I was alone on an island on that table. I mention Maria and Melanie more to give authenticity to my story and also to explain why I think Maurice was so insufferable. I think the girls at the table put him into overdrive.
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Originally Posted by D_Matthews
The bigger problem for me was the "Jeopardy" hand that she was in. She seemed to enjoy Maurice's actions and certainly did not tell him to stop. After the hand it was business as usual with smiles and laughs all around. Here online she says that she felt Maruice was wrong in what he did, but when we were at the table, you would have thought that they were best friends for years. She certainly did not speak up about that at the time.
I was alone on an island on that table. I mention Maria and Melanie more to give authenticity to my story and also to explain why I think Maurice was so insufferable. I think the girls at the table put him into overdrive.
If there is to be a complaint about sexism by OP then inclusion of Melanie who had no part in the story apart from being part of some supposed "clique" and her presence being a suggested reason why Maurice (who I don't know but sounds like a tool) was playing up. Also, this quote:
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Originally Posted by D_Matthews
Honestly Melanie seemed nice... I don't know her from anything.. and yes.. the cleavage was pleasant... and intentional on her part as she said to us...
If there is any OP sexism in respect of Maria then it is far milder than that I imagine she (sadly) encounters every day at the poker table. The interview she and Melanie did is more sexist than anything OP has said.
btw, I do agree that it is ridic for OP to criticise Maria for not speaking out against Maurice, and to that extent he singled her out.
I have great respect for you Vanessa and believe you do a lot to promote the interests of women in poker. I also agree with the thrust of your views about sexism. Having played poker with her only a few times I also agree that Maria is a very pleasant person and a strong poker player and has always acted very professionally in my experience. She is extremely popular with the other players as well as the peeps holding cameras. As you can see, I agree with you on a lot more points than I do not. I just feel sexism by OP is the wrong battle to fight.