POKER IS DYING! We need to do all we can to bring more people into our GREAT GAME. The games are getting tougher by the day, and new young people playing in them will make them like pre-Black Friday again. We have to get the word out to them that playing poker against multi-tabling nitty bum hunters and GTO solver-driven bots is tons of fun and way better than going to college and trying to get a J.O.B. (LOL, like that's possible anymore!) Don't get me wrong -- I have their best interests in mind when I want to steer them down the path of spending the prime years of their lives grinding at their computers for hours every day. It teaches discipline, critical thinking, anger management, and I'm sure a bunch of other positive things. If the games get softer and my winrate improves, that's just a happy bonus.

PokerStars is obviously ruining poker by being the largest and most popular site. They don't understand that to bring the younger generation in, they have to cater to the wishes of the 20-tabling regs by facilitating bum-hunting and returning all of their rake. We need an alternative that will attract the small fringe of players who care about these issues.

If anyone can do it, Phil Galfond can! Run It Once Poker will bring the young recs in and crush PokerStars. He has plenty of innovative ideas like Splash the Pot (just be careful not to call it rakeback because I think some people may cling to that as misleading and a major failing of the site). But we have to give him plenty of time because software is hard! (It's mainly written by people who were stupid enough to go to college.) Whatever amount of time you expect is reasonable to develop smooth-working software, just multiply by 5. Patience is key. We can get there if we all are on board and support Phil by playing most of our hours on his (currently) buggy software.

Let's Make Poker Great Again! Your thoughts?

P.S. Best wishes to poker enthusiast (and comedian) Kevin Hart. Young people like him.

TL;DR: I hate my life.

I suppose the mod who moved the above post from a stand-alone thread didn't recognize it as a parody of three other threads currently on NVG and thought it was a serious "poker is dead" rant.

First paragraph was pretty good parody work

so glad I opened thread, which I figured had run its course.

Your thread title was lolz.

it would have been fun to have a totally non serious thread on this topic(s) to make light of the others.

It's back.

Poker isn’t flourishing anymore because the government is bloody clueless. All they have to do is push through a new constitution, we could call it ...

MAKE ONLINE POKER GREAT AGAIN

-rake free games
-compulsory 5 hours a week play for all citizens over 16 (at 1-2 or higher)
-if a rec player bad beats a pro too many times they will actually get cancer
-provide a 98%/2% split backing service for pros
-bonuses for pros who are clever enough to 20+ table
-pros are allowed one GTO bot to play for them while they sleep
-parents are legally forbidden from making their children leave home or charge them rent if they are professional poker players
-only pros can use HUDs, it’s just for reg on reg wars anyway

This is gold

That pretty much sums up every NVG thread for the past year. Where is isildur1 when poker needs him most. when are these high stakes nerds gonna spill some blood for the sake of poker. take take take. you highstakes guys need to battle to the death to save the game so OP can fullfill his destiney of saving online pokerstars from poker by starting this thread

.............except for the pokerstars knob polishing i gotta say it was a pretty good OP.

While we're at it, we need to change the laws such that the penalty for playing DFS or sports betting is death. That will drive the youngsters back to poker.

PSA, anyone that posts anything serious ITT will be taken out back and put of of their misery.



PokerStars and Pornhub merge, and integrate the experience. High School boys start pouring into poker

i think this is a great idea, could have been rob yong‘s. i mean you can already watch people getting fucced while playing poker on twitch and it seems to work. At least for the cute ones, like Lex.

Poker is a ponzischeme?

this first post deserves a freeroll!

re: pending Pornhub and Stars merger....

photoshop plz. might be worth a temp or perm ban for some brave , creative soul


agreed... Epic first post

I love how the same people who keep complaining about basically everything new that happens in poker are the same people who won't take any debate on the issue seriously. I mean, if you don't want to participate in it, that's fine, but I don't see why you should get mad at those like me who love poker and would like to see our beloved game survive for many decades into the future.

Had a great laugh reading your post, though!

^^^ first in line to be taken out back and put out of your misery.

Do you take Stephen Colbert's monologue seriously.

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie

Do you think a poker themed youth hostel could increase the popularity of poker among the young generation? The state could support high schools financially if they decide to make an excursion to this poker themed youth hostel.
Oldschool pros who can‘t beat the games anymore could give advice to the teenagers. This would be great for regs without a degree to still make living out of poker without having to study pio

That is a great idea. Maybe JRB could be the poker youth hostel ambassador and mentor. He could pass along all his insights into broke living.

Tried running GirlsGoneWild in the Truepoker poker client streaming panels back in 2002. What is required is that only players in a raked game can view.

(The experiment failed because Joe Francis suddenly demanded an additional $1,000,000 payment for his content, rather than a cross-platform revshare deal. Too bad.)

convince a celebrity to challenge another famous person to HU for millions and have them play in the streets. then have a third rich person challenge the winner.

They need to offer MTTs and still see poor traffic before we all freak out.

is this for real or a joke ? that is bat chit crazy.

I typed "more rake is good" into google and it brought me here!