Hello Zoo-

Received a letter from JP Morgan Chase stating:



Dear Customer:

All banks operating in the United States have various regulatory obligations concerning customer accounts and transactions, including a requirement to review transactions that appear unusual. Please note that upon further review, many such transactions end up presenting no concern. In accordance with this process, JPMorgan Chase has identified certain transactions with respect to your account, for which we need further explanation.

Please contact me at ###-###-#### to discuss these transactions. If you do not call by this date, we may notify you that we will be closing the account, and any related accounts, at a future specified date. (aside: i opened the letter yesterday, and the specified date is 4/2/10 which passed...oops)

Please keep in mind that the purpose of this letter is not to disrupt but to protect your bank ing relationship with JPMorgan Chase, as your relationship is important to us and we are pleased that you have chosen us as your bank.

Sincerely,
Compliance Officer


Ok ZOO, here's the deal. I use my debit card all the time for all kinds of mundane sort of stuff they I can be sure they aren't interested in. The only two issues they may have:

1) recent withdrawals from Poker Stars and Full Tilt
2) took the plunge, registered an account on streamate, and paid for a show (think it cost maybe 20 bucks @ $3/min (actual charges were on 3/10/10 for 3.99, 11.96, 4.33) - date of letter was 3/12/10

so based on the date it sounds like they are interested in the streamate transactions which add up to almost nothing. so when i talk to this compliance officer, assuming she asks about the streamate transactions, should i be upfront and be like i was bored at home and wanted some adult entertainment? or should i be vague and just say I "authorized these charges" and that's it.

assuming they want to know about poker deposits- should I say these are related to sports betting/online gambling/online poker or be as absolutely vague as possible?

thanks in advance.

I say should be as vague as possible, but I'm pretty sure that won't do it... as for the "streamate", try to vague but if they keep asking **** about it, just say u got bored, requested adult entertainament, etc, w\e.

As for the poker withdraws... does it say "PokerStars" or Full Tilt" anywhere in a statement or something? If they ask too much about it, say u have "multiple incomes" or something like this and try and get them to say where the transactions come from or u won't be able to identify it. If they plain out say it comes from PS or FTP, ur screwed imho.

Now, if they say something like "it comes from an offshore bank" or something vague like this, u can try and say u did some online offshore consulting and ur not really familiar with the methods the "client" used to pay u, meaning u don't know trought wich bank the client would pay u. U obv would have to elaborate some sort of story in order for this to work.

Lying could get u in trouble, but apparently so does gambling anyway...

Also, edit the bank name, as it doesn't really matter what bank it is. It's not good to have the bank's name floating around in this kinda thread on the internet.

nowhere does it say PS or Full Tilt on bank statements

Please delete or edit the above post. No need to post processor details

I would tell them that all of the transactions were related to adult entertainment, without being more specific than that. You are not really lying, and it may keep them from asking more specific questions. If they try to pin you down about the gaming transactions, tell them you aren't comfortable being more specific and you would be happy to take your business elsewhere.

Also, please delete those processor details ASAP

Dont worry just be vague

I would let them know that you authorize the transactions in question. They legally have no right to know any further information. If that is not sufficient, they can close your account and they will mail you a check for the funds you have with them. I would not mention any specifics regarding your pesonal finances at all.

i reported that damn post with the processor info. How are people this dumb

just say it's adult entertainment. why are people worried about lying to JPM? It's not like jamie dimon is going to come over with the feds.

I had an email like this once for a 1k~ deposit to FTP. My bank instantly froze my account and I had to call them, I just verified who I was and that I know about the charges. They didn't ask what it was from and unlocked my account.

Tim Geithner is gunna kick his door in "Wheres my money man"

got in touch with the woman at JPM who wanted to speak with my regarding some of these transactions. she asked right up front about "wire activity" on my account - specifically, a large wire to a non US bank and several wires/checks back.

she wanted to know what the message on the outgoing wire meant (a word directed by the site to reference the transaction) and after researching the companies behind some of the checks deposited back to my account, "was unable to determine what kind of businesses they were."

so i was completely honest, I said these are related to "online internet gambling- poker and sports betting" and that having read the new UIGEA legislation, have withdrawn all money from my accounts because as I said "the legal grey area is becoming less grey."

after i mentioned that she seem pleased and said okay thats what I was trying to figure out. she said that my accounts are in good standing but will continue to be monitored.

It ain't over till it's over.

Ahhh, a sigh of relief. Honesty, best policy.

jesus christ you did exactly the opposite of what everybody told you. don't mention online poker/sports betting

nice work clown

Yeah, vaguely claiming "adult entertainment" was going to work well. Since the money was also flowing TO OP, was he going to claim it was for "adult services rendered"? That would go over well with the bank I am sure.

By the way, banks can ask just about anything they want about where the money is coming from and going. You are a customer of theirs and they can certainly invite you to take your business elsewhere if you jerk them around.

The Opposite

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Opposite

“if every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right”

"Hi, I'm George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKUvKE3bQlY

Just tell her that you stream a live web cam of yourself performing various sex acts live on demand, and that you can give her a one time 50% discount if she wants to verify it.
If she calls your bluff then you have choices.

Meh, you can tell the truth without mentioning gambling. I wouldn't recommend flat-out lying, but a little creativity wouldn't hurt. If they press the issue of "What is this online business venture exactly?" you can always tell them it's none of their business and they'll cut you a check for your balance, possibly.

The only time you need to be concerned is if you're getting large wire amounts, in which case telling them it's none of their business may result in a SAR being filed in addition to your account being closed.

In this case, the bank was able to verify accounts belonging to gambling and in turn will reject any wires originating from those accounts.

once she told me specifically that she was interested both in wires in and out, i knew it was going to be very difficult to claim anything other than what it actually was...especially given the amounts involved.

i think that telling the truth about the issue leads to the best outcome by far. i have multiple accounts with JP, debit, credit cards, business...having to establish a brand new banking relationship would be massively -EV.

Well, yeah, best outcome for you, but I can't blame you - it's a ****ty spot to be put into. This is why people separate their gaming banks from their everyday banks.

being honest could lead to your account being closed as well

obviously as stated, find a new bank to do your poker transactions

seriously OP. you posted processor info earlier like a ****ing moron, now you totaly throw a processor under the bus at a major financial institution. you should be ****ing banned.

So basically people at chase aren't going to be able to deposit any more on stars or FT unless they change processors, assuming these banks are organized and are attempting to follow the law (lol).

sorry buddy but i have no allegiance whatsoever to some payment processor out there and i'm not going to openly lie to the compliance department of the bank i'm going to be doing business with for the rest of my life.

i lol very hard at the fury coming out of you.