The right thing to do when someone loses a big hand is not to talk to them at all if you have not been doing so earlier. Why would you begin communication with someone when they just lost a bunch of money and are pissed/depressed.

If you want to convey sympathy, just make eye contact and shake your head showing disappointment. People seem to react calmly to this.

If you've been talking with that person for a bit before the hand, you can say something like "That was brutal" or "wow, that really sucks".

The only time you want to say much more is if you are trying to tilt the person and know what his/her limits are. It's one thing to tilt someone to re-buy and play poorly and another thing to piss someone off entirely so that they leave the table after cursing you out.

I say the same thing, if I say anything at all. Mostly I just shake my head. Giving the impression that I really sympathize with him. Keeps the table loose.

Had a guy push all-in against a guy who was obviously bluffing and couldn't call the extra 40 dollars left in his stack with nothing so he folded. So the guy flips over quads and proceeds to tell the guy, "nice hand, good lay down" And as you would expect, the other guy berated him to the point that it looked like elbows would be thrown.

The guy with quads kept trying to justify that he meant it in a good way...which the whole table knew he didn't since he voiced his displeasure over the gentlemen a few hands back. So the other guy gets up and storms off saying things in a different language (obviously calling him every name in the book). But it was a dick move to say the least.

That has to be the biggest douchebag rub down I've read so far. I'm honestly not sure I could keep my cool if someone did that to me.

You haven't stated what limit the game was, but usually the guy in this situation sincerely means it and is saying it as a way of "unlucky" or w/e. I'd tend to ignore it as the guy is most likely not high up on table etiquette and you'll just start a bickering match with someone who's not worth it.

Other than silently raking chips I think the only other appropriate reaction to winning a big pot is to shrug and give the "I guess I got lucky" face.

There's an older Asian guy at Foxwoods who says thank you when you call his river bet. I can't remember if he does it before or after he turns over the nuts. Turns out he is not very good so I usually say "You're welcome" in that spot.

I'm trying to get out of the habit of doing this. Everyone always gets super butthurt with "WELL GIVE THE CHIPS BACK THEN", when it is obvious that "sorry" means, "I know the feeling that you have right now, and I know it sucks, and I sympathize with the irritation and frustration you feel. I would prefer winning money with expert poker moves and to always have the best hand, however, in poker, that is not always the case. Winning with best hand >>>>> sucking out, however sucking out >>>>>>>>>>> losing, so I will take it, especially since I have been sucked out many times before"

So I am trying to replace it with the "oops" face and head shake.

I agree with this and try really hard to abide by it.

I call them a liar and laugh it off.

These things would likely make me utter the "Nice Hand" phrase which when I use it really translates to "**** You, you Rat Bastard, Piece of ****, Arrogant Prick ect....."

I really do try not to do that though.

I have a story about this, I was the player who got busted.

When I first started paying poker in the bar tournaments I ran into my first cooler ever. I raised (or, likely limped) from MP with AJo and got 2-3 callers. On the turn the board was 3J9J and we got all the chips in. I flipped over AJ very triumphantly, sure it was the winner. The other lady in the hand showed J9 and said simply 'Boat.'

I was sitting there dumbstruck as they took all my chips away when the old lady sitting next to me commented that my hand was a beautiful hand. This actually took most the unpleasantness of losing away.

So there ya go, it's not always a bad thing but you just need to be tactful.

I believe I've given a sympathetic "nice hand" to the losing player of a hand I'm in a few times. If you don't say it sarcastically or with bad intent then it's fine.

When you are the losing player, it is hard to believe the winner isn't sarcastic or has bad intent.