That is a good point- When you play with a group for a long period you kind of figure out the etiquette usually heads up- new guys are fair game.

As an aside when heads up and you regularly play against the same guys if they are roughly equal to you you are more or less just exchanging money- so no EV is lost by checking it down.

if and ONLY if they are doing it exactly as much as you

The only time I softplay is at my home game against someone who's just losing too much, and I value that person more as a friend and as a part of the game than I do the money.

However, in a cardroom, unless you're absolutely sure it's reciprocal, do not soft play. I've seen it far too often, the long-time regular who thinks the other long-time regular is his friend, and suddenly boom... stacked.

Besides, the folks I know and respect the most understand the purpose of the game is to win the chips. It's a sign of true respect when we mutually attack each other.

Well I think I am officially over this dilemma. A losing week can do that to you, so feeling bad is over. Besides, now Im starting to use the info that my "buddies" are tellin me to either push them off hands or get that extra value from them.

Look forget all that. Its not that black and white. Everyone is there to play the game. Don't feel bad about busting them, because everyone is there to play. You can still make a friend and bust them.

See? Your fall to degeneracy was quick and painless! Welcome!

I regularly play a live game in a B & M casino, usually about 4 or 5 people at the table are "the regulars", not pros per se, just the same people who play the same game on the weekends and tend to all sit at the same table.

Over the past year, I would say that the core group of maybe 8-10 people (usually not all there at the same time) have become friends, and do other things together at the casino in addition to play poker (eat, table games, hang at bar, etc).

When we are at the table there is little if no slow playing. If I can felt them I go for it and they do the same. About the only difference in play between us and someone "new" to the game, is we may tend to have better reads on each other and often there are some unbelievable "hero calls" (which often results in the aforementioned felting" or "monster lay downs".

Personally I find it enjoyable to sit with people you know and can have conversation and good table banter with...its a good skill to be able to be friendly at a table and still be able to observe the table and take in all the information possible....

I would add, that if someone feels that they can not play their "A" game while either being friendly or making friends at the table, then that person should try to avoid becoming friends with people at the table.

BottomLine - I agree with what shift work said:

Well that's good.

You can take their money and still be friendly about it. Many many live poker players just want to have a good time. It's a cheaper form of gambling for them.

Think about how long it takes to lose $200 on slots or blackjack, that money could be gone in minutes. Even a horrible poker player can chat with some people, get some free drinks and last for a couple of hours on $200.

Just learn what interests people at the table, some just want to chat, some want some good poker play, some want to learn.

You can win people's money and still having them feeling they've had a good time, because they have had a good time.

This is a lesson that many live players have never bothered to learn. And it has just as much +EV as the lessons you learn from strategy books

that was much easier in limit.

Personally, I prefer to be asked. People generally take it pretty well when I politely say, "Sorry, I don't do that." If anything, I get a little more respect for it. If another player just assumes that we're checking it down, that's when I get in awkward situations when I spike the river and bet out.

when I first started live I actually apologized too this little old lady for sucking out on her