One "s". What you wrote means something else entirely.

lmao

Yeah, I started scrolling up looking for some truly outrageous story that I missed! I skimmed through about 20 posts before I realized what he meant.

That is a messed up story bud. Thanks!

i wasn't a fan of the guy with one half-amputated leg who easily weighed 400lbs+ and kept a fan next to him to evaporate the sweat he created from sitting still and breathing who would eat nothing but snacks and lick his fingers as he played. being a person who lacks mobility, he rarely if ever went to the restroom, and consequently did not clean his hands despite a great deal of licking and touching of fomites like chips and cards.

I can only assume that el_dusto means by "half-amputated" that the leg was a partial amputation (where the joint was preserved) rather than unfinished.

This made me laugh so loud I'm certain all my apartment building neighbors thing I'm crazy now.

I used to work in a casino, so I've seen plenty of the usual degen gambler behavior: substance abuse, domestic violence, locking children in cars while Mommy gambools, old timers passing out at slot machines, fistfights over buckets of nickels, etc.

But probably the most disturbing was something I saw as a customer. I am a semi-reg at the Horseshoe in Hammond, Indiana. As many of you know, there are some uh...interesting...folks that go there from some of the lovely nearby neighborhoods.

On a cash-game meal break I went to get some food from one of the restaurants outside of security. While walking out, there was a group of 4 "kids" that seemed to be getting turned away by security. As they were leaving they started arguing with each other: "B*tch I told you they wouldn't let you in without ID", followed by a string of expletives in response - you get the idea.

This goes on for a little while - free entertainment while I eat my food. Then it starts getting heated. They start throwing things at each other (bottles, food, etc.) and the one guy then douses one of the girls with Mountain Dew. Her response was to PEPPER SPRAY HIM IN THE FACE!!
We cleared out of the restaurant (pepper spray does not make your food taste good), and of course security, police and the fire dept. show up. Dude who got sprayed was in rough shape - she got him good.

I did the most responsible thing I could, which was to finish my burger, return to my table to regale my fellow poker players with the story

I hope that girl got arrested or something. If gender roles are reversed there (girl throws mountain dew, guy sprays her) he probably gets in so much ****. That's always kind of bothered me.

This thread literally made me sick to my stomach. Wish I would have skipped this one. I was gonna tell a little story about a guy who spilled his whiskey on the felt and half jokingly tried to slurp it up with a drink stirrer. Its no where near sick enough for this thread. I'm really hoping the majority of these are not true.

I cannot confirm or deny any of these individual stories, but I can say that you have not played enough live poker.

Ignorance is bliss

i know a guy who went to rent a movie with his girlfriend. while standing in line he had her keychain and was swinging it on his finger, turns out she had a mini pepperspray on the keychain and it accidentally sprayed a little bit but luckily didnt hit anyone directly.

he was arrested.

We're sad to report that most of these are probably true. There's only a couple that I doubt.

Sad.


...still my favorite thread though. #tho

Bumping my favorite thread.

[Spent last week in NOLA, but the Harrah's was clean. Bourbon Street, not so much.]

Saw a dude picking scabs off of his arms (looked like roadrash from a motorcycle accident), then popping them in his mouth and sucking/gnawing on them while contemplating his action.

Was fairly revolted.

That is sickening.

Not poker related but seen a man jerking himself off under the roulette table.

If a woman were doing this, the floor could charge for admission.

There was a woman whose boob popped out of her gown and landed on 36. The ball also landed on 36. The pit boss said, "Pay the lady 35 quarts of milk."

Depends on the woman.

Mine don't even come close to most of these but have 2 quick stories.

Just last week playing an underground 2-5 game the gentman on my left with a full blow mullet and gigantic beer gut orders a bowl of spaghetti.
The good stuff w fresh mushrooms in the sauce
About 2 hours pass and I just so happen to look over as he notices on his gut a completely dried up sauce covered mushroom is resting all alone.
He proceeds to scrape it from his shirt and EATS IT.
I threw up a little in my mouth and had to swallow it.

A few years back playing a juicy 1-2 game out on a ranch w a few wealthy ranchers and one completely wasted ex military 70yr old bastard sitting to my right drinking crown straight and flashing everyone his cards
PISSES HIS PANTS and it drips onto my bare foot I flip flops.
I scream like a little school girl and leap out of my chair .
Realizing what he has done he stand up falls over breakers a food tray and passes out on the floor.
I cashed out

I don't think I'll ever be able to see a scab again without thinking about this. ****ing gross.

-EV play. Also, when he passed out, was his hand declared dead?

I was playing cash game at Star World in Macau and saw a Chinese gentleman pissing in the Dyson hand-dryer in the men's bathroom. He had obviously mistaken it for a urinal. Needless to say I used the paper towels after I'd washed my hands!

Yeah.
Nothing unethical came about.
(These men are real ranchers not a dishonest bone in their bodies)
The guy was on the book for about 2k they drove him home.
It was actually quite sad