Old man coffee is awesome and likely trolling you.

Don't say this. It's douchy.

I thought that question was the absurd part.

Three way limped pot in a 1/2 game: flop is Q62 rainbow. First to act bets $7, next player calls, third player goes all in for $150. Initial two players fold. The winner proudly tables his hand, 66, and says "I'm not slow playing this hand. As sure as I slow played it a queen would come on the turn".
Guess you can never be too cautious lol.

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Unless your postflop game is -EV, which I suspect is true for that guy.

Yes

Yeah it would suck to get the full house on the turn.

Played a guy at 2-5 who was insistent that he correctly folded AA preflop in a cash game once because after he raised, 3 people went all-in and he was no longer a favorite to win the pot.

I gotta be careful reading this thread, I always label my opponents like the braindead morons cited here, but often forget that I might be playing with someone savvy enough to post here

Or you might be playing with someone savvy enough to appear brain-dead so that you underestimate them...

Old guy was lamenting on being short stacked to the player next to him in local LLHE game. He proceeds to bitch about how during his several hour session he's only gotten pocket 10s once and never Kings or Aces. Only gotten AK once and didn't hit anything blah blah blah.

The game has been playing typical with tons of loose calling and everyone trying their luck at draws. So standard LL donk fest. Guy says "tough to win when you don't pick up those hands" (referring to Aces, Kings, etc). As he says this a guy rivers a gutshot for a big pot playing two several gap rags.

Not even worth explaining the irony in his comment. Guy then says he's going to leave and hems and haws about perhaps if he comes back tomorrow his luck will be different. Prob one of these guys in most every room everywhere but still humorous to hear in person.

This doesnt count as absurd thinking but I guess just absurd personality or something. Dunno if I've mentioned this one before or if it's even possible but a few regs I used to play with routinely brought up some OMC player who would sit a teddy bear in the seat next to him and say "the bear calls all bets". Thats right, he would actually buy the bear in with a stack of some sort, occupying an actual seat at the table, and the bear would be dealt in with everyone else and auto-call all bets. Nobody could play for the bear, so there was no cheating going on. The concept was that OMC simply hated being bluffed that he had an auto-calling teddy bear playing sheriff at the table the whole time. Apparently the casino allowed this since technically there's nothing wrong with it as long as nobody see's his cards during the hand. So if you bluff, well you are bluffing someone playing blind who could beat you with 63o or something. If the bear lost then OMC would just reload him, presumably for the min I guess.

I'm sorry, I'm not buying this one. There's no way a casino would allow it.

Edit: And think about it... anyone with AA or KK would just shove pre and happily take their chances to double up against 2 random cards. No chance this is real. The "bear" would lose a fortune.

Dont ruin it! I sooo want to believe this!

I am that teddybear and I can confirm this is true.

Yeah, cmon. I don't wanna live in a world where that story isn't true. It's just too awesome to be BS.

It would only happen in a low limit Hold 'em game and hence there would be be no shoving pre.

Even so, on a 2-4 game you're talking about a minimum of $12 every hand and that's with just a min bet on every street. Throw in a couple of raises and it's $150 blind every orbit.

Keep in mind the bear is going to win sometimes. OMC could finish a lot of sessions as only a slight loser if he is any decent since he's probably folding a lot when he would otherwise be calling and letting the bear take the hit for $60 a pop or whatever.

Interesting, and maybe even profitable, since he's managed to buy himself the privilege of being the only one at the table allowed to bluff.

Depends on what is considered a bluff. Is a bet on the river with 4th high pair vs. 2 random cards a bluff?

Yes

Just bearly......

Amazing

no way that bear is over 21 years old