Board is TT882 on the river.

One guy goes all in for $100. Villain throws 55 face up on the table and doesn't say ANYTHING.

Dealer goes to muck his cards, since he didn't say anything or actually put a bet out. He only has 5 high, so he assumes the guy folded since he's literally just sitting there.

Villain says "wait, what are you doing, I called." Everyone at the table goes "???" Dealer is like . . . "wait, you called?" Villain says "yeah, I called WTF?" The other guy unbelievably shows 77 for 7 high and the dealer takes Villain's last $100 and gives it to the other player with the 7 high.

Villain stares at the table for about 15 seconds, shrugs, gets up and walks away.

After he left, we still couldn't figure out if he didn't realize he was counterfeited or just called down 5 high because he was tilted.

Game is 2/5 NL 500 max. Villain has 500 and I cover.

Board: AA38K
My hand: 33
His hand: A3

"anything else but a K on the river and I would have raised you. I was worried about that K".

He flopped a boat vs. an underboat and won exactly 25BB because he was afraid I had AK.

God bless America.

I just want to mention the whole idea of people saying "I put you on" such and such. Especially "I put you on AK".

100% of the time it means "I was hoping you had" such and such because I could beat that.

Board is 23459r. There's a bet on the river and this one guy is contemplating a call. After a while he says, "I put you on AK, I call. I have a pair of fours." Bettor shows AK. Good times.

I think he left believing his pocket fives had just lost to pocket sevens.

Bar game, blinds 100/200.

Guy A goes AI with AKd for 2200.
Lady A calls
Young guy calls.

Flop QT5 two diamonds. Turn 3h. River Qs.

Young guy wins with Q7o. Guy A asks how he could call pre with that. YG says "I had titties. Whenever I have a card with titties on it I have to play it."

Later on, down to 3. YG and Guy B are close in chips and massively outchip 3rd. B raises and YG calls. Flop is Q42, they get the money in the middle. Aces vs...Q4.

"I flopped the nuts... so I check"

or

"I'm first to act, I look down, and I have Aces... I just call"

Local poker room...near FT bubble of a ~80 players MTT.

MP raises ~4xBB, BTN calls, blinds fold.

MP announces (before flop is dealt) "All-In blind"!

Flop comes Axx...BTN calls. MP shows KK, BTN shows AJ...!

We never actually heard what his thinking was...but whatever it was, it was absurd.

i lol'd

Not that absurd and happens a lot. It's just an inexperienced player who doesn't want to be scared if an ace flops and not know how to play his hand or look foolish calling a big bet from the other guy if he does have an ace.

Or maybe he is short enough that he's going in no matter what comes on the flop. Shoving dark can sometimes even get them to fold that AJ when an ace flops since they put you on AK

"the number of outs you have is bs, its always 50% - either you hit or you dont"

This is a long-standing joke on BBV and other poker forums. You got leveled hard. Or your opponent did, which he used to level you.

From someone who grinds MTTs for a living
" I have 8 BBs, I can raise fold 99"

At 2/5, villain snap c/c an 80 year old nit's $500 bet on the river on a KQQ98 board with AA. Then acts absolutely shocked to see that the old man has KQ and he loses.

Villain: "What a bad beat. That's so horrible. This guy sucks." Continues to complain/berate the old man for a minute or two until old man racks up and eventually leaves a little while later.

Several hands later villain raise/4b's KJs for 100bb on a 10 high 2 suit flop and wins with a flush. Literally 3 hands later vs the same opponent villain gets all in on basically the exact same 10 high 2 suit flop for 100bb, but this time opponent has A3s and villain loses to opponent's flush.

Villain: "That's horrible. My play was perfect, but his play was horrible. This guy really sucks."
Me: "Um, wasn't that the exact same thing that just happened?"
Villain: "Excuse me, shut the f up. You weren't in the hand and you obviously don't know anything about math." Goes on to berate half the players at the table either out loud or under his breath to the guy next to him for about a half hour.

Later villain limp/shoved 97s for $150 and ended up cracking JJ. Then he picks up his chips and starts to leave.

Hero: "Hey 97s is standard right. Math and stuff. No hard feelings sir. I'll play with you any time, in fact... please do."
Villain: "I'm seriously thinking about punching you in the face and getting banned from this casino."
Hero: "Lol go ahead."
Villain: Walks to other table.

this is not soo aburd but kinda funny and shows that people dont understand the fundermentals
I check (with the intention of check calling) with trips weak kicker OTR when many, many draws missed against a bluffy opponent.
Villain checks back, i show my hand and im good
Another guy (who thinks he is awesome at poker but is really just an agrodonk): You should of bet the river, he probally has a busted draw.

The other day dumb regular says, "well I don't like to put too much in preflop" He was talking about AA.

This story happened some years ago at the Commerce 5/10 game. I was just a witness to what turned out to be the most awesome poker strategy talk known to man. I, and about 4 others take a flop of 753ss. A gentleman, who was clearly tilted after losing multiple pots in a row, c/c bet of $65 along with one other player. Going three to the turn, brings Qh, gentleman leads for $60 one call, third player in the pot shoves for roughly $600-650. The gentleman in question tanks for about 3 minutes and calls the all in and says “f-it let’s gamble.” River bricks out a red K. After arguing for a while about who shows their hand first the dealer tell the gentleman who shoved to flip his cards over, he shows 42ss for the nut low. Our Hero, if you will, flips his hand over and shows 86o and scoops the loot. Now I’ve seen situations like this many of times, but what happens next is what made it gold. Our hero after stacking all his chips begins to gloat about how good of a read he made on his opponent, telling the table he noticed the guy was making a “power bet.” I brought up the obvious to his attention, that he had 8 high and he said let’s gamble. That did not deter him in the slightest, within minutes he had the whole table talking about, “power bets,” and believing and hanging on his every word. His strategy talk was that of most fish who get someone to finally believe that they are good and man did the table go head over heels thinking this guy knew what he saying. He loved to hear himself talk about how great of a call he made, for the next few hours when a new player would sit he was sure to be telling about his amazing call of a “power bet.” Every player at the table went home a worse poker player that night, and I got enough laughter to hold off cancer for some time. So now when I see someone shove a large amount I always call, because I can spot a “power bet” from a mile away!

$150 NLHE MTT goes on break with about half the field gone. Player in tournament comes to talk to his friend in the cash game next to me.

"All the fish and crap players are out now, which is good for me. Now when I pick up good hands they will be smart enough to respect my raises."

Middle-aged Asian woman at my table last night.

"Why you only play suited cards? Suited cards no good, only one way to get flush. Two suits better, double ways make flush"

**head asplodes**

i witnessed some of the most amazing poker "thinking" ever last night in an O8 game.

the pot is huge with multi-way action to the river. the board reads:

734--2--7

action on river is: SB bets, UTG raises, CO folds, SB calls the raise.

hands are tabled: UTG who raised on the river shows down: 771010

SB, who bet/called the river tables: A589

let's recap: SB shows the 5 high straight flush and UTG shows quad 7s. action was bet, raise, CALL (with the unbeatable steel wheel: nut/nut).

we jokingly got a floor ruling, but sadly were informed that the jackpot is for quad 9s or better beaten (which we already knew).

------------------
about 30 minutes later, the same lady who bet/called the river above, CHECK CALLED the river with the stone cold nuts (king high straight), no possible low, to scoop another big pot. i guess she is allergic to money. sadly she left with like 4.5 racks a bit later.

In a tournament at my local club I bluffed all in for another 7k chips exactly to try taking down a 6400 chip pot after three super loose callers had called my 3 bet meant to isolate the particularly bad player who had raised. Taking this pot would nearly double my stack.

Flop reads:
2-6-8 rainbow


Two callers fold, then the original raiser tanks for like 2-3 minutes. Finally he calls. I say "dammit" and show AQ for nothing.

Villain exclaims "I KNEW you were bluffing!!!" and shows j-9 suited in celebration.

No pair
No draw
No nothing

I have to check like three times to see if this is really happening.

Turn and river are bricks and I take down a 20,400 chip pot with Ace high and leave the kid nearly busted with like 300 chips.

Table is in utter silence as I scoop in the pot, and I'm reeling trying to figure out wtf just happened.

Phil Hellmuth is a middle aged asian woman?

AKo can make 2 flushes!

I always tell people my favorite hand is T5 double suited, maximum number of possible straights and flushes!

This happened yesterday in the WPT Derby Lane... guy open shoves 18k at 300/600/50 and gets called by the BB (it was obv this guy was a moron) with AQo and he flips up T2 and starts telling how Doyle won with it back to back years, why not me? LOL