Some of my best customers don't realize they've hit their withdrawal limit for the day. I'll give them 5 minutes to find out.

Where I play they generally won't hold a seat without chips on the felt for more than 5 minutes. If the guy is good I'm asking the dealer to open the seat at 4.5 minutes. If he's a big enough fish and there's a chance he's coming back we may beg the dealer to give him 10. Pretty much never extends beyond that.

So actually your peeve is (or should be) with the room and how they run "hold my seat" rather than the player.

Agreed. Highly doubt the majority of times that this happens it's a fish who hit his withdraw limit or got suckered in by pit games or the slots. It's an ashamed cover to walk.

Hey, speaking of pet peeves, one of mine is "THIS TABLE ISN'T FULL CAN WE FILL IT NOW JFC THIS SEAT HAS BEEN EMPTY FOR FOUR MINUTES" that we're going on about the last few posts. Just let me play eight (or seven) handed for five minutes, it's way more fun.

This guy occasionally just sits there with his cards in protest for an extra 20 seconds each turn just to prove a point to absolutely nobody that he's not happy with this open seat.

That's a valid peeve, those guys act as though it suddenly went from 10 to 3handed, like their lives are in danger LOL. Must fill in 1 minute or else they somehow get ripped off. Bunch of petty small-minded jokers.

Probably not. You better wear a tie to compensate.

In the last few years, a lot of pros, fighting to get every bit of edge that they can, have gone outside of poker to look for extra edges. Things that the new breed of pros do to get that edge include hiring nutritionists or mental game coaches. A few work out as much as professional athletes. When the New York Marathon was canceled, Jonathan Little ran anyway--28 miles (a marathon is 26.2 miles.)

Little also has a 12-point checklist of how to mange your table image, but from listening to him in a recent webinar, I think that his goal is a "you don't want to mess with me" image.

I'm a tournament player. This would be a big deal to me for two reasons:

1. I like to play deep tournaments so that I have a lot of time to play speculative hands while effective stacks are large. I think that turbo is a dirty word. Playing that way is profitable and it's unexpected because of my tight image.

2. Assuming she ever got deep in a tournament the short stacks would go bonkers if she was holding up the game. And of course, for a good cash player, more hands played = more profit.

3. I can't remember the last time I've called the clock (certainly more than a year) but depending on the tournament situation, I might be torn between calling the clock or letting it go because she's a fish.

One more thing. I would watch this player for tells. Does she sometimes hollywood a little more or less than usual, or act a little faster than normal? If she changes something and shows down a decent hand, there's your tell.

There's another thing to consider as well. If the missing player was on your left, the replacement might be a better player. If you're happy with the table you probably don't want a new player.

You can always slide over a seat when you see them walking to the table, depending on if you know them or can profile them by appearance.

I'm going to take this a different direction. I kind of like it when people are jerks at the table. I'm not talking about anything like hollywooding that directly affects the action. I'm talking about being loud, drunk, abusive, sexist racist, etc.

I hate that kind of behavior in most cases and I never do it, but this is poker and it's all about the benjamins. I don't tilt, except perhaps when I make a really bad mistake, but I know that many will tilt in that scenario. That gives me an edge.

I told someone once that if a player said that my wife was a whore, I wouldn't care. I'm not going to lose focus. I'm not there to defend my family's honor, I'm there to win money and bring it home to my wife. When it's a big cash her eyes light up, she lays out the bills on the table and takes a picture.

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An online abuse story:

Once when I had online chat open, a jerk who wouldn't shut up tried the "Your mom was good last night" line on me. He seemed quite young, so my response was "That's pretty kinky, my mom is 80." I never heard from him again.

I told my mom about it and she got really upset--because she was only 78.

Their is a guy like this at my room. However, he dumps a ton of chips which alwaysmakes me wonder what he is really thinking about (if anything). The good news is I have a sick base line on him and with over 90% accuracy because of all the Hollywooding. This makes him on of my favorite ATMs. As a bonus he tilts the grinders and OMC.

After a decade of playing poker, last Saturday I found a brand new pet peeve that I've never encountered before. When raising or calling a raise, this chick would pick up the chips, cross the bet line, raise her arm up then splash the chips down. Every single ****ing time. I have never wanted to punch a person so badly in my life.

I wish the floor would stop people from making more work for the dealers. Crucifixion is the appropriate penalty here.

I love it when the table gets short handed, sometimes we even get to play 6 handed for a orbit, it's great. That's why I never remind the dealer about empty seats or mention that someone has been on break for too long. Exception, I did remind the dealer about one guy, but only because he's a tool.


Seems harsh. One warning, then a mild knee-capping. Only on the third offence should they be hauled from their seat, speared in the gut and hoisted up to be nailed to the wall as a warning for everyone else.

I don't know, it does seem as though it would act as a deterrent for others. I could be on board.

I like shorthanded, too, and love screwing with these guys. They'll start bobbing up and down in their seats, looking for the floor with their hand in the air with a finger extended to show One Seat Open. As soon as they put their hand down, I put my fist in the air, make eye contact with the floor and shake my head 'No' so he'll assume it's been filled.

Years ago in AC I was playing at a full 8-handed stud table. At the end of a hand, the toughest player stands and asks, "Where's the men's room?" The dealer directs him, and the guy in the #1 seat says, "Deal around me. I'm not playing shorthanded."

John Fox claimed to time himself completing crossword puzzles before playing so he that he could quantify his mental acuity. His books probably contain the ultimate advice on game prep.

I know this was directed at me but I actually agree with you. I don't advertise this information anymore. Conversation in question happened during my first two hours of live play. I made lots of mistakes.

Bad eyesight is relative. My nearsightedness and astigmatism cannot be fully corrected even with a brand new prescription. I'm 20/60 at best, and my prescription is a couple years old so probably closer to 20/100 now. Also colorblind. It's not my fault I can't see the bet amount. If other players want to get impatient that's fine, but I'm confirming the bet if I can't see it. I try to sit in seat 5 or if not there then 1, 9, 4, or 6, but sometimes people won't switch with me and I can't see jack **** across the table. I mean I can see somebody threw out some chips, but is it five, seven, ten? Beats me. Especially when they mix the green and red chips. Three chips could be $15 or $40 or $55 or $75, so I can't just say "call" because I see three chips unless I'm close enough to distinguish them. Which I usually can from seat 5.

Ironically, the most impatient players are the ones who won't switch seats with me.

This is what it's always like with me, with or without sunglasses. I just ask for a count.

Two seconds? Seriously? Man some of you guys are impatient. I routinely take 1-3 seconds acting preflop and sometimes more for each additional street. Often the correct action is obvious and I quickly bet or fold, but other times I'm adding up the pot, calculating SPRs, etc. Since my vision sucks and there are always players who won't stack their chips properly, it can take a few seconds for me to determine this.

I get the girl in question is Hollywooding so it's not really the same thing, but calling a clock for taking 2 seconds seems insane.

This reminds me of a hand a couple nights ago I was playing in the BB in a 5-way limped pot. SB checks, I check, this young guy bets $6 into the $10 pot, everyone folds but me, and I take about 3 seconds to consider check-raising him as I think he'll often fold and I have some outs if he doesn't, and he gets flustered and says "Dude, it's $6! Come on!" so I raise him and he folds.

I do act relatively slow when I don't fold, but from my point of view I'm playing like 20% of hands and typically for much larger pots than the rest of the table. The fish slow the game down more than I do by playing 60-70% of hands, but I'm not complaining.

When idiot fishes that don't know what the hell they are doing sit down and right away builds a massive stack calling with total junk.

Are you kidding? That's totally my favorite thing ever. Specially if at least a good portion of that massive stack isn't from me.

That's the *^^&*&^*&* prb, it's usually from me due to some @#$@#$@# suckout.

I'm not suggesting calling the clock on anyone who takes longer than two seconds, I am suggesting preemptively calling for the clock on a player who intentionally and repeatedly takes longer than necessary. I don't expect the floor to actually be called, but I would hope my point gets across. I'd probably try to make it sound like I am joking. Once I start it, other people might do it (including the dealer) and I can induce the rest of the table to harass her without doing most of the dirty work myself.

Second level thinking, well played.

I love those people and try to shield them from the inevitable whining chorus the subpar regs put out when it's happening.

This is gold.