Oh yeah and the "online is rigged" guy.

Twice as annoying when they have the nuts or effective nuts.

"How much is it?"
*slowly counts out the amount to call*
*slowly pushes in the call*
*shows AA*

"I put you on AK"

Or when limpers get mad at you for raising

Omg I was playing for a high hand promotion this morning and wanted to start a 4-8 game, but noooo. Everybody wanted to play no limit. Fine, but I'm just going to play poker now and the high hand is secondary. I'm not about to get stacked chasing promotion money. But the high hand is all anyone will talk about.

Well I get KK in the big blind with 6 limpers. I make an appropriate raise and the geezer to my immediate left gets IRATE. He goes, "Well that's not very smart!" I say, "You're right. The smart thing to do would have been to play 4-8"

Playing little NH charity game MTTs ($40-60 rebuys, 3-7 tables) -- why are these people playing if the second that they make the final table they just want to chop the prizes so everybody gets their buy-in back? Why not just show up at sign-in, lay out your $80, take back $60 (leaving the house rake) and go right back home? Save yourself the six hours and save me your whining when I don't feel like having 30% of the top two places given to players who folded their way from the second break to the final table.

The player who won't shut up. I sat next to a player a couple months ago and the whole session he said just one sentence. One 3-hour long sentence. Last Saturday at a 2-4 game I sat next to a guy who talked constantly in his best loud Joe Pesci voice. Every hand preflop: "Oh I GOTTA play this!" If he calls a bet on the flop, "I GOTTA see one more!" If he folds on the flop, when he sees the turn: "Glad I got away from THAT one!" When he calls the river and loses he has to loudly defend his actions. "I HAD to call! I had a pair! I couldn't get away from it! I couldn't fold, right?"

That's an easy one. Don't play 2-4.

This just happened to me recently but I was in Reno playing the WPC Pot of Gold tournaments and i had the misfortune of sitting next to this very obese man that had the loudest,flemiest,gross,obnoxious cough and kept coughing in my direction. I eventually turned to him and said next time you cough like that turn the other way or I'm gonna vomit in your direction. Needless to say I was happy when he got Felted.

Home game dealers who look at every community card for a second or two in their hand before placing it in the middle. Drives me nuts.

no joke, there's at least five times the amount of fights and arguments at the 1 or 2 2/4 tables than there are from the other 4-9 tables in the whole room.

Those seniors get outright vicious over their cheeseburger money.

Poker snobs who look down their nose at limit poker because they try playing the same way they play nl and haven't figured out how to win at it.

Oh no, wait, I like having those people at my table.

Pretty sure, no, 100% sure, that 2/4 limit is unbeatable long term

also limit poker itself is fine, its just old gross bitter old people playing 2/4 limit that suck to be around. its like their very existence in this world is a pestilence to everyone around them.

people who chop sb/bb. thinking is usually- its a waste of time to play.

people who count out chips, stack them up then splash the pot. If I was a dealer I would be punching these idiots in the face.

body odour is hyper tilting.

people who ask losing hand what they had.

people who cover their chips and when asked to move their ****in hands they make a lame attempt at moving.

when someone calls for a clock in a non timed cash game, rudest thing to do ever in life

When someone takes several minutes to make a decision in a standard spot for a trivial amount of money. I'll usually call the clock here if I'm feeling impatient

Yeah I'd be way less critical in a cash game about calling the clock, but sometimes it is justified. Last one I saw was a guy who took close to two minutes before a clock was called.

For a $15 bet into a $30 dollar pot.

Players who break their neck to lock up a seat, then proceed to:

Go to the bathroom
Eat their cheeseburger and onion rings
Go back to the bathroom
Check out a few scores on their IPAD
Talk to their friend at the other table

Maybe start playing after 10-15 minutes

People obsessed with playing at a full table to the point where playing 9 handed for 15 minutes irritates them.

Not even close.
There have been several whole threads on this, but when someone takes more than 1-2 actual minutes to decide a relatively simple and small $$ decision, they're the one who's being rude. (Try actually timing it sometime when someone's tanking; they hardly ever will go beyond 2 min., but it seems like an eternity.)
Time game vs. raked game is also irrelevant. Everyone's time is finite and valuable. And if you're playing for profit, anything which delays the game is costing you money.

Not to mention, tanking hard at cash ****s with the dealer's rice bowl -- less hands/hr = less tokes

One of my ultimate pet peeves. Usually its the table captain who yells across the room to inform the floor there's a seat open. They think they are getting ripped off or something bc the game is not full. Also these are the people who bitch about others taking frequent breaks.

Agreed. People who make a habit of tanking are disrespecting every other player at the table, as well as the dealer.

People who bitch about others taking frequent breaks could have a legit gripe if those breaks are long. I hate "playing" with people who are habitual walkers. Give your seat up for someone who actually wants to play.

I have a room full of this person where I work. I'm on life-tilt and suicide watch as a result.

They usually need to do this right after the dealer announces "seat open" just in case I didn't hear them and they have a snooze alarm set for every 2 minutes to remind me until the seat is filled.

As for players taking frequent breaks... I'm with Rapini on this one. I have no problem giving them a final call to return and picking them up if they are habitual about it. Other players are waitning for a seat while you're off getting your blackjack fix for 45 minutes at a time.

I'll reprint part of one of my posts from early in this thread:

[QUOTE=Asterix811;37120766]
2) Players who disappear from the table for an hour at a time especially if a) they're sitting at the blackjack tables or the slot machines, b) they're also playing at the casino next door and they go back and forth so they can get comped at both places at the same time (happens in AC), or c) they come back to the table, play a few hands, then disappear for another hour.

I've been trying to get the casino where I play most often to institute a third man walking rule. I've been at tables where half the players are walking around all night. I was at one full table once where, one by one, 6 players got up to walk around. That broke up the table and the 4 of us that were remaining had to be reseated at other tables.

Yes, the 3rd man walking rule is a must. Our rule is... 3rd man walking gets til his BB before picked up and 4th man walking is insta-pick-up if there is a waiting list for the game.