OK, here's one, and it's completely true.

Last year, I'm playing 1/2 at my regular casino (in Wheeling WV). The dealer has a poker interest, and he often discusses poker hands, his home games, hands that poker pros played, etc. The table consists of mostly friendly regulars, which is typical for this room.

The table conversation swings to silly rules that the state of WV imposes on its poker rooms. Someone mentions that dealers aren't allowed to sell chips, somebody else mentions the tax rates crushing the comps, that kind of stuff. Then one player jokingly says something like, "yeah, and for awhile they had a rule where straights beat flushes." This is where it gets good.

The dealer immediately pipes up that he agrees, that the standard rules don't make any sense, and that "straights should beat flushes, because straights are harder to get." The joking player says "they are? what do you mean?", and the dealer says, "because the flush has 9 outs, and the straight only has 8 outs." The discussion continues for a bit, with the dealer patiently explaining, and there's absolutely no doubt that he's 100% serious. In his mind, he was educating the table with his extensive poker knowledge!

As you can imagine, there were obviously a few raised eyebrows, and amused glances were exchanged all around. Folks are thinking "can you believe this is really happening?", but nobody contradicted the dealer.

It was one of the funniest things I've experienced at a poker table, and it's still the first thing that I think of whenever I see that dealer.

I like to say, "You guys are the closest thing to friends I've got."

Yeah, but as you point out that one has already been done. And it was a good one!

And stupid things players say are a dime a dozen. Don't get me wrong. They're still entertaining. But I and I think most people have a different expectation when it comes to dealers and the floor. So I wanted to start a thread specific to dealers and the floor. My intent wasn't, isn't, and never will be to ridicule and/or berate anyone.

If looking at a situation objectively and making honest comments looks like ridicule to somebody else, that's their problem (unless they decide physical harm is necessary). If somebody wants to argue a point, that's great. I'm open to healthy debate and I'm certainly open to being wrong - been there done that a lot and I imagine I'm not finished being wrong in this lifetime. But the first response I received belittled and undermined the intent of the post.

Anyways, I never meant to offend anyone and for that I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry for anything else. I know it takes all kinds to make the world go around and the world would be far less interesting without all those kinds - so I'm certain people really do exist who prefer sitting at the poker table as a dealer making $30/hour over sitting at the poker table as a player making $60/hour. But for me being a dealer = work and being a player = entertainment. If that entertainment needs to turn into work in order for me to double my income, I'm going to do it - at least I'll enjoy what I do and I'll enjoy all my non-work activities MUCH more as my disposable income probably just went up 500%.

Wish I had another story - there are some good ones in this thread!

The thing is, poker hand rankings are based on their probability of occurring in five-card hands. Based on HE or Stud or every other game which is best five card hand of seven cards, it is true that flushes are more common than straights.

Was playing at the Trop in AC a few years back. Had a dealer who was quite the bitch- one of the guys at the table later said he had been playing with her as a dealer earlier in the day and she was acting similarly.

As we're playing, she's being aggressive, demanding that players hurry up and stop wasting time thinking about whether to call/raise/fold. We mention that it's not her place to demand action, especially when really people weren't tanking that much. I take down a fairly large pot sometime later in the session, and as I'm stacking and about to tip her a buck, I look up and she's staring me down and I say "what?" She then taps her tip jar. At this point, I make the decision that I'm not tipping this bitch. I just say "no". She then says "You must be from Virginia..." I say I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but I'm actually from DC. She responds, "yeah, see I can tell". She moves to another table a few hands later, and I call the floor over to complain.

I explain what happened, other players at the table complain about things that she had said to them during the session and the floor calls another staffer over and says "this is the third time today, John". They take my number down in case they need to talk to me later for more information and I can only assume she is later fired.

ummm that bolded part doesn't seem right and if it is that means moutaineer has been doing this wrong for years?

About 10 15 years ago or so at the Flamingo Hilton LV a dealer named Sam was quite noted for saying humerous things. Once there was a new extra board dealer working her first time with him, after she tapped him out he announced to the table "Color Change"! She was a young black lady so it was funny to the players, but not knowing Sam she didn't take it too well and took it to upper casino management. It seemed funny and was resolved, but sometimes you have to be a lttle smarter before trying to be too funny. I don't mind a dealer adding a bit of humor as long as it's not slowing down or disrupting the game. Times have changed over the years, now days people like to have fun so it's become an entertainment business for a lot of people especially if they are a tourist. This Sam guy did come up with some pretty funny stuff over all

Dealer to 1st action, "Check or Bluff" made me El O El

lol, this is where the money comes from, folks.

Yes, I agree that this one is strange. But there is a germ of truth to it, which I don't fully understand. But here's what I do know.

When poker first came to WV, the Mountaineer dealers wouldn't sell chips from their racks, either; but they had a few moving chip banks on wheels, which were always around, and almost as convenient. Although dealers wouldn't sell directly, I do seem to recall that dealers could even take the money and give it to the moving chip bank operators, and even help count the stacks. It's evolved since then, and now Mountaineer dealers will sell from their trays.

Meanwhile, at Wheeling, players would ask why Mountaineer would bring chips to the table, whereas Wheeling wouldn't. I remember that Wheeling personnel, both floors and dealers) claimed that WV law disallowed it, and that Mountaineer wasn't allowed to do what they were doing. To my knowledge, the Wheeling room continues to believe that this is contrary to WV law.

Hey, look what I found; these links confirm my memory: http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/sh...6&postcount=17 and http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/sh...8&postcount=26; Wheeling floor claims that the Gaming Commission says that dealers cannot sell chips.

On a very busy day in my local room there was a player named "Marco" whose name seemed to be called for a different game every fifteen minutes.

The brush couldn't find him one time and kept saying "Marco, Marco" repeatedly into the mic. Finally after four or five times a group of players yelled out "Polo" in unison and everyone laughed.

When the laughing died down a dealer pipes up "Fish out of water!!" and the whole room roared.

I would have liked to been there for that one!

One day we had awarded the BBJ to a table. The big winner of about $9000 was a young man who I'll call "James". He is about 19, in college and apparently living at home with his parents inteh Dallas Area which is a little over an hour away.

Our room is 18+, BTW.

James must have made at least one phone call after the win because an hour after the hand was dealt and just a few minues after the money was paid out, one of the floors got on the PA and made the following announcement.

"James, yoiur mother is at the podium and wants to see you RIGHT NOW!"

The room exploded in laughter and a very red faced young player made his way to the podium. I'm sure his mother hit I-35 going north before she hung up the phone.

Last week, kid like 18 or 19 wearing clubbing type outfit is paying the really attractive waitress. He is talking to her and trying to run some game (not doing good imo since im right next to him listening and looking at him since action is on him).

After maybe twenty seconds, dealer says "Sir, only one game at a time" and kid finally mucks preflop utg.

Dealer laughed out loud at river suckout...

Dealer annouces that the winning player has the "nuts" when he shows the A high flush.....on a paired board. It was the winning hand in this case as the caller mucked without showing but I had to bite my lip not to say anything.

A funny one that happened 2 weeks ago, a flopped a set of 4's on a J64 flop and bet out, LP called. I turned quad 4's and bet out, LP made an over bet raise to move himself all-in, I had him covered and called (of course). The river was another 6, dealer asked for the cards to be shown, LP did not turn over his cards, so I turned over the pocket fours for quads and the LP's face went white, he was stunned, after about 10-20 seconds, the dealer says:

Dealer: "Sir, can you beat quad 4's?".......~10 seconds go by

Dealer: "Sir, you need to have two red 6's under there to have the best hand....do you have two 6's.......sir?"........~10-20 more seconds go by and this guy still has not mucked, so the dealer says:

Dealer: "Sir, would you like to re-buy, I can hold your seat?"

Finally he snapped out of it and mucked his hand, swore a few times and left.

One of the few dealers in this world that I look forward to deals at Casino Arizona (or at least did, I've only gone sparingly to CAZ since I moved much closer to Gila/Harrah's).

He's fast [without just whipping the cards around and pointing at people - re: some of the male Asian dealers at CAZ - in b4 racist] because he's jovial and interested in the game: "That young gentlemen made it $12...raise it up...it's on you..." and, like any good craps table, keeps things lively and interesting without too much jargon "...small blind, two more to see more..." and because he can actually hold on a conversation and drive the action at the table.

I suppose I'm not contributing any colorful language to the thread, but I wanted to give props to a guy. He knows who he is

I was playing Omaha where in case you don't know you have to play exactly two of your hole cards and three of the board cards. We had a new dealer who barely had a grasp of Texas Hold 'em, let alone Omaha. I was sitting next to here in the ten seat trying to help her out as she was pretty clueless.

Anyway a hand comes up where the board is 3337A. One guy holds KKxx for 3's full of Kings. The other guy, new to Omaha, has Axxx, which only gives him trip 3's, Ace kicker. The dealer initially announces the second guy's hand as 3's full of Aces and starts to push him the pot. The rest of the table jumps in and tries to explain why he doesn't have a full house. The guy with the ace is new to Omaha and you can tell he really doesn't get it either. The dealer looks completely lost so she calls the floor over. He patiently explains the siutation to the dealer and the table. It looks like she finally understands as she starts nodding to what the floor is saying. The pot gets pushed to the correct player and we move on to the next hand. After she gets the hand out she leans over to me and whispers quizically "So you can only play Aces as a low card in this game???"

Not that I condone any player abuse, or any abuse for that matter:

A player had been bickering back and forth with a player who had a handicap. The handicap player had a toe attached to his hand acting as a thumb. It was slightly disturbing seeing the deformity, but the player used this digit without any issue.

Then a hand came up where the villian turns up a straight. The handicapped gentleman
pushes forward, with the altered digit, a flush. The villian as loud and clear as could be said "Thats a really great hand you have there sir!".

Wow.

Three stories.

Annoying dealer: At the original Mohegan Sun there was a dealer who had a running commentary on every hand. A pair of sevens was "Hockey Sticks", Q3 was "Gay Waiter",... "Cowboys", ... "American Airlines" etc. ad nauseum.
This would have been OK except he concentrated more on his shtick than dealing the hand. Hence, frequent mistakes were made. He also had a strange pitch. He pulled cards off the top of the deck with fingers and thumb facing down. He was fast but exposed several cards with this strange delivery.

Amusing dealer: In a Blackjack game at the Reno Hilton, there was a player criticizing the others. After he left, the player at third base drew to a thirteen and caught a seven for twenty. The dealer's up card was a nine, he turned over a five and said to the player ... "You took my card!" It was funny at the time.

Funny player: At the Mirage. A very quiet Asian woman said on the river ... "I check my nuts." The whole table broke out in laughter.

Was playing at the Excalibur one time and a decent looking girl of 21 or 22 years sits down to my left. for poker room standards, she was easily an 8 or a 9. for life standards, still a solid 6.

At any rate, a new dealer comes to sit down and within the first few hands he's dealt, she gets felted. She gets up and leaves. I make a comment to the other 7 men at the table that the level of attractiveness of our table just shot down about a million percent!

The dealer then made a comment about her being a pretty attractive girl and I said that she had a nice rack.

The dealer confirmed.

I then said, but she smokes.

without missing a beat, the dealer said "Yeah, that's a dealbreaker. but only long-term!"

No they aren't. Once you flop the draws a flush draw comes in more often than a straight draw but straight draws get flopped a whole lot more often than flush draws do.

A couple from today:

Over the loudspeaker - "Did anyone find a hearing aid?" Dealer and about 4 players: "Huh?"

4/8 Omaha h/l - Bitter old player has been talking about how much he hates the dealer for a half hour. Apparently that's his way of feeling better about burning off rack after rack. Bitter old guy hits a bad river and bitches "how many f-ing cards can you counterfeit?" Dealer: "I hope all of them."

this is quite good