"I checked a long time ago!"
--no nice guy, ever

Yeah those words have never been said by anything other than a 100% douchebag.

It's always accompanied by an agressive slight lean forward and explosive shrug of the shoulders/puff of the chest (assuming the athlete is capable of the required movement).

Had this yesterday, and I was lucky enough to get to reply "That's true, but now we're on the turn"

They got really embarrassed, looked up from their phone, checked and went back to candy crush.

I didn't explain that we were now on the turn.

I just told him "OK" and it checked behind him and I brought the river.

He looks up and starts screaming "I didn't check the turn I checked the flop."

"No the turn card was out and you told me you checked a long time ago."

Floor backed me up. Player racked up and left. Rest of players were glad to see him go.

Lol, this is the route I took.

omg, that's awesome.

Legen. Dairy. / Barney Stinson mode

Here's a comedy of dealer errors for your amusement, starring Yours Truly:

Three players go to the turn. I pull in the bets, burn a card--and am suddenly overcome by a violent sneezing fit. Five huge, wet, sneezes, heard throughout the room. I have my head under the table, and I'm sneezing all over the front of my shirt and my shoes.

When the fit subsides, I gather myself. I ask the players if anyone has a cocktail napkin handy (to wipe my shirt off). I burn and put out the turn, but as I do, I sense something is off...

...and as the first player checks, I figure it out, and call, "Time! Stop the action! FLOOR! DECISION ON TABLE 9!" One player hands me a napkin, and I start wiping down the front of my shirt, which seems to have mostly escaped the hose-job. At about the same time, another player notices what's wrong, and says it out loud for those who haven't figured it out yet: "There's an extra burn card," pointing to the three burn cards on the table.

As the floor arrives, I finish with my napkin, and start my tale: "On the turn, the dealer burned a card, then was overcome by a terrible sneezing fit, which you may have heard. He then burned ANOTHER card, and put out a turn card--"

I was interrupted at this point by howls of laughter, from everyone at the table.

"WTF?", I thought. "I didn't say anything funny."

I looked around, confused. One player helpfully pointed to the 8-seat, so I looked over there. This was the player who had handed me a cocktail napkin. I now saw him recoiling from the dirty napkin, which is sitting crumpled on the felt before him. "I don't want it!", he cried in mock horror.

Apparently, I had thoughtlessly discarded the soiled napkin by flipping it back to the person who gave it to me. And I was so distracted by the ruling going on, I did not even notice what I had done.

OMG, just shoot me.

I retrieved the napkin, falling over myself to apologize. The cards were backed up, the proper board was run out, and the outcome of the hand was not affected by my mistake. Happy ending for everyone. I just looked a little silly, that's all.

I will never understand these people.

For the past couple of days my voice has been really horse and I am struggling to call games. My voice goes in and out in the middle of a sentence and at one point last night I had to call the floor from across the room and nothing at all came out but the slightest whisper.

But at one point during the night one of the players ... dead serious .... not sarcastic asks me if I have ever done radio .... because he thinks I have a great voice for radio. I can barely talk at this point..... I wonder what radio stations he actually listens to.....

NPR

Two regs share a laugh. One guy is cool, one is an OMC miserable jerk.

OMC: I've never heard of that! You say it like it's common knowledge.

COOL: It's very common. YTF, you've heard of that, right?

YTF: I wasn't listening. Heard of what?

COOL: A rusty trombone.

YTF: Yeah, of course.

OMC: (incredulous) What is this, an east coast thing? You know about this because you two are from the east coast?

YTF: No, because I'm under seventy.

***

Later, same miserable OMC jerk goes all-in on the turn for $13 in a $10-20 limit game.

NEXT PLAYER: I'll complete it (brings out $20).

YTF: (putting my hand out in "halt!" mode, to stop the action) No sir. You can call it or raise it, but you cannot complete it.

NEXT PLAYER: (stops to consider this new information)

OMC: Now it's too late! He brought out a call! He can't raise!

NEXT PLAYER: (looks at me, confused)

YTF: You can call, raise, or fold.

OMC: (getting mad) That's the rule!

NEXT PLAYER: I'll just call.

OMC: Dealer, that's the rule, right?

YTF: I don't know.

OMC: You don't know? What do you mean you don't know?

(I ignore him. He finally stops. At showdown, he scoops the main pot. the push is here, I stand to leave)

OMC: Do you really not know the rule there?

YTF: Of course I know the rule! I just didn't want to argue about it, since the guy chose to call, it didn't apply.

OMC: What's the rule?

YTF: The rule is, I'm Right And You're Wrong. (mic drop, leaves)

I'm waiting to push into a $2-4 LHE game. The action is on Seat 3.

DEALER: You can check, or bet $4.

(player bets $1)

DEALER: Four, sir.

(player puts out $3 more. action is now on his buddy, seated next to him)

DEALER: Four if you want to call, sir.

(this player puts out $2)

(this was the turn. river is more of the same, then the showdown takes a full minute, then there's no tip for the dealer at the end of the hand. Nothing left for him to do but head for the break room. He tells me as he leaves...)

DEALER: Seat 8 has been gone about five minutes...and these two are so new to poker, I think they haven't even seen it on tv yet, if that's even possible.

YTF, the $1 bet in 2/4 is excellent.

Some thoughts on 2/4 players...

- Why do 2/4 players who show up every day still think it's okay to open for $3 on the flop if they're going all in? Or for $5 on the turn?

- How is it that 2/4 players are able to somehow communicate without words when 5 of them make it to showdown and then they reveal their hands in ascending order?

Me: Show me a winner!
Player 1: (Shows a pair of 3's)
Player 2: (Shows a pair of 7's)
Player 3: (Shows 2 pairs)
Player 4: (Shows a better 2 pairs)
Player 5: (Shows a straight)

It's uncanny, and I see it on a daily basis.

- Why are 2/4 players so reluctant to show the winning hand and why are they so big on slow rolling... unless they're the all-in player in it for the main pot only... in which case...

Me: All in's please hold your hands! I'm looking for a winner of the side pot.
Player 1: I have a full house! (Turns over his cards)
Me: All in's please hold your hands! I'm not ready for you yet!

- Why do 2/4 players think that they can ever "bet someone off the hand" when the opponent is holding premium cards?

Player 1: I knew I should have bet the flop when it came K66 and I was holding Q6. Then you wouldn't have sucked out on me on that Ace on the river to go along with your pocket aces.
Me: (Wondering... does he really think that the guy with AA was going to fold to a $2 bet on a K66 flop?)

- Why do 2/4 players aspire to make an art form out of slow rolling each other?

Me: (Sees the betting end on the river between 2 players. The board is K 2 3 6 4 with no flush possibilities). Show me a winner!
Player 1: (Tables QQ)
Player 2: (Dramatically turns his cards over so that the first card is completely hiding the second card. And the visible card is a meaningless 10. What could possibly be behind it??? It's a 5!!! He had a straight!!! What drama!!! This will likely go down as the best poker play in the history of poker by the best poker player ever!!!)

It's been awhile since I dealt 2 4 but what I remember was that the regs would come in with a $100 bill. Buy in for a $20. Then lose it buy another $20.
. Etc until they lost it all. They would do this every day but never once buy in for more than the minimum. Except for the guy who didn't want to have to buy in for another $20. He would make sure to add on for $5 to $10 if his stack got down below $10.

I know the answer to this one.

This "epic poker moment" is all they have to live for.

My last hand of the down, at a different $2-4 LHE table. A $6-12 reg is slumming in our game while waiting for a friend. He is utterly indifferent to these stakes, frequently 3-betting preflop. He starts this one off with a straddle, and jams at every opportunity. He check-raises the river, gets three-bet, and calls.

Three-bettor shows unimproved AK.
Straddler shows bottom pair. Three's, I think.
I push him the biggest pot of the night. Move the button, take the toke, drop the rake. The push is here, I give my standard farewell address to the players....and that's as long as Mr AK can hold his tongue:

"What did you think you were beating there???!?"

"AK," I answered for him.

(Posted this because, while I love Bolt's example of "does he really think AA will fold for $2?", I felt it should be amended to, "Does he really think bottom pair will fold after being 3-bet?")

I'm waiting for the day that one of these players goes all-in for $5 and hits the bad beat jackpot only to find out that the main pot has $25 dollars in it rather than the mandatory $30, making it ineligible under house rules.

$30??? In a $2-4 LHE game? Whew. That's harsh. If that's the standard for our Aces Cracked promo, we'd almost never pay off.

Yeah, $30 is kind of brutal. I thought either $10 or $20 was universal.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using 2+2 Forums

We rake bad beat $1 on the flop regardless of pot size. The 3-6 players love this because they can get aces cracked or hit a high hand and never have to bet.

Question from a punter. Sorry for taking up break room space, but I don't really want input from 58 other punters like me. TYIA.

My casino deals tourneys in AM, cash rest of day. Fri/Sat nights, the chip runners are 99% not from the poker room, including this guy. Runner sees a different black chip on the floor, bends down, points to it and asks if anyone dropped it. I'm in a hand, but he's right behind me so I glance over and say it's a 1K chip from the daily tourney. I muck, glance back and he's walking away, tells me, "I can't touch it." I know casinos have all kinds of rules about who can touch money/chips on the floor, and I know that I don't know them. So I ask him, well, who can pick it up? His response (which is what makes me wonder about his first answer) was, "It's not my job," and he walked away.

So whatever to him, but I am genuinely curious if in your casinos a dealer/runner in that situation can pick up a tourney chip that was last used hours ago, or has to call the floor, or should/can a player pick it up and pass it to the floor? Cheers.

Well first off, big KITN to the "it's not my job" guy.

As a dealer, if I see a tourney chip on the floor, I'm going to stand next to it, make sure that nobody else picks it up while I'm around, and get the attention of a floor supervisor or security. I'm definitely not picking up the chip myself.

As a player, I'm not picking it up either, for the reason that nothing good can ever come from having a tourney chip on my person after a tournament has ended.

I would have no problem picking it up. Its not like I'm going to be putting it in my pocket. I'm going to pick it up and bring it to a floor person.

And I wouldn't have a problem picking it up as a player either .... Again its not going into my pocket....