What's the best way of dealing with someone who's berating you and or other players? (Without ignoring them)

I played a live donkament on Saturday night and was playing ultra LAG, which seemed to confuse most of the table.

It wasn't long until one guy began commenting on how I was playing and I found it incredibly tilting. I kept quiet but I felt if I could've nipped it in the bud without going on tilt

Take a look at this thread. It basically covers the same topic and you can see various ideas about how to respond.

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/27.../#post48612567

Let's not worry about them for a second. the fact that he was able to tilt you indicates 1) that you were not 100% confident in what you were doing or 2) you brought in some emotional baggage with you. If he was going off, that means that your style was frustrating him. this should not have tilted you.

If you can keep from going on tilt, and that should be your primary focus, any response (whether it is ignoring him, using self deprecating humor, or antagonizing him) will be successful, because you will be in control and he will not. So, focus on why his behavior affects you, and not what you can do in response to him.

On more than one occasion I've told someone who's directly disrespected me at a table (3 occassions, "click back" fake genius types, or hammered drunk players) to "Go F*** Yourself". I take my 1 orbit penalty or whatever the floor sees fit and take that time to walk it off, have a smoke or chill break in the garage, then come back stress free. On all 3 occasions, the instigator apologized and all was good.

The last instance was at a cash game during WSOP '15 when a young drunk Brazilian kid kept calling me "Pepsi". His accent was so thick I thought he was saying "Pesci" like Joe Pesci. On the 3rd or 4th time, I had to ask him, "wait Bro, what did you call me?" and he said direct to my face "Pepsi, you have skin like Pepsi." ...Yes I am a dark skinned black man. The whole table including the dealer got deathly silent as action stopped, when I went off on him and told him to go F** himself or see me outside. The floor was called, I got a one round penalty and I believe he got a one hand penalty. I wasn't going to escalate the situation anymore and get a permanent 86. By the time I came back to the table 15-20 minutes later, the guy had been stacked off and left.

If you don't stand up for yourself, as a man/woman, and let a player know that you will not tolerate any form of disrespect on a personal level then people will continue to make all types of slick talk comments towards you. Better to squash it right away, take whatever hand penalty and blow it over.

[QUOTE=
It wasn't long until one guy began commenting on how I was playing and I found it incredibly tilting. [/QUOTE]

Confused a bit here. You you've taken a positive result and made it negative. Guy will most probably start playing back against which if we're IP this is a god send, you adjust and he doesn't and ****** 3bet ships Qh8h on 2d5d9d like a guy did last night to me when you flop the nuts, and then goes of on a rage induced monologue about fairness etc. Stuff of dreams.

Perhaps rather than think about what he said, focus on the big picture and how your going to adjust and how he might too. Bring an iPod and have chilled out whale music or something else and just focus on the game, developing reads and think about ranges. You really don't have time to get tiltd when your busy with all that IMHO.

I usually approach antagonistic people one of three ways. Which approach is generally a matter of what kind of person/situation I'm dealing with.

Approach 1: Use your charm.

This is for the person who seems generally decent, but is running his mouth due to a really tilt-inducing run or unpleasant experience.

I want to redirect this guy back to his good ol' self, so I play nice. Commiserate a little. Smile and be friendly. Maybe tell a joke or a quick story with a funny ending. Try to get him to put the lousy incident behind him and get on with life. Most people are good by nature and will respond positively. Then you're back to playing poker with no drama, plus you may even look magnanimous.

Approach 2: Use your wit.

This is for a person who says rude or mean-spirited things to try to get under your skin or make you look foolish at the table. Usually this kind of person isn't angry, so it's not a matter of getting him to calm down.

The trouble with ****-talking is that you'd better be really good at it. It doesn't take much for this kind of behavior to backfire, leaving you frustrated and looking foolish yourself. Childish, actually. And that's where our power play comes in. Let the guy talk **** until he's blue in the face. No one looks more pathetic than a bully who keeps trying but can't even get his target to flinch. (If he stops on his own, congratulations! You've won uncontested. Quietly drag the pot.)

If he keeps going, mentally brew up something clever and wait for a good opportunity to drop it. It's very situational, so use your judgment. Ideally, you want to invoke one good laugh at his expense. He may even respond positively if you can get him to laugh at himself. Some people appreciate being one-upped in a battle of wits.

Approach 3: Use your confidence.

This is a last resort for a player who won't stop berating or insulting you, and it seems like he's doing it because he's just a miserable *******.

Don't reply to anything he's saying. Put on your serious-but-calm face, prepare your serious-but-calm voice, look him in the eye, and assertively command him to stop. Something like "Don't talk to me like that" or "That's enough" should do. Let him know you won't be pushed around, and leave it at that. It's a little like asserting control over a dog or other pack animal. Don't directly threaten him or let yourself get drawn into an argument. If he continues, re-assert yourself.

If he won't stop after two commands, complain to a floorperson. There's only so much you can reasonably be expected to deal with at the table.

Unless you have incredible emotional control and can respond to an antagonist without getting emotionally engaged, this is not a good reaction. Getting engaged in a confrontation tends to get most people more emotional and less logical. It isn't about getting respect, it is about outplaying your opponent. If he is under your skin and gets you angry, he wins.

Now, if you have Vulcan like emotional control (I personally don't) and can appear to be getting angry while staying completely calm, this is not a bad tactic. Others will think you are steaming.

I agree with you, and I definitely feel that you need to stay cool with people trying to tilt you. I'm all for table banter in certain situations.

ex: "Man, I gave you more credit as a better player than that, you called me with 3rd pair?"

"What are you thinking? Did you really think I was bluffing?"

Problem is, with today's troll culture, you have the anonymity of being able to say anything you want to people online and not have to deal with the repercussions. A lot of these guys are bringing that into a live setting and saying comments that are WAY out of line at the poker table because they think no one is going to say anything back to them. In a scenario like that, I think you have to firmly assert yourself that you're only going to tolerate a certain level of disrespect.

I live in Vegas and play live 4 days a week. Some of the things I've heard people say to other players that goes unchecked by the floor, dealer, or other person shocks me. There's a fine line of trolling/table banter, and being a freaking sociopath. I just come from a place where you have to have a certain level of respect at the table as this started as a "Gentleman's Game". Too often do a few entitled punks get good at the game and feel like they can get disrespectful with a player and you're supposed to sit there and take it "because that's what happens on TV".

I have no problem telling someone to get over themselves and to keep it poker....not personal.

I would just make him feel like a real idiot by being very thankful for his "coaching"

"Well I like to play a lot of hands so I have a better chance of hitting something. So should I only play better hands like AQ+ and PP's?"

"I'm not as good of a player as you but I do appreciate the advice"

"Do you know what books I should read to become a better player"?

"I hope some day I'll be as good as you"

I just shrug and look confused, then play like a hardcore nit against them when they're trying to play at me.

You should frown and look sad and try to channel Heath Ledger and say "why so serious "

An awful lot of players just don't get it. I WANT players to berate me, the more the better, not that it happens much. THEY are the ones hurting themselves, they are out of control, they would never do it at work or to their friends and family but at a poker table they can let it out. We should HOPE that they lose control like that bec it's good for us.

You can generally help the process along by selectively showing, especially at LHE where there are more showdowns.

Unnecessarily show hands that fit the villain's perception of you. So let's say villain thinks you bluff too much, in reality, you're bluffing 10%. If a third of the hands go to showdown, show only the value hands you're required to show and unnecessarily show all your bluffs. Boom, now it looks like you bluff three times as often as you actually do.

Also announce hands that are at the fringes of your range so they stick out in peoples' minds. When you silently show a midrange hand, it drops from memory. When you show a straight flush, announce, "QUEEN HIGH STRAIGHT FLUSH" to make it stick in peoples' minds.

Over time, people can develop some ridiculous beliefs about you, and as soon as you do something quasi marginal like 3-bet two times in an orbit, people will start berating you, like, "deuces again?" (referring to that one instance three months ago that I 3-bet 22 and turned a set) Then they decide to coldcall-call-call-call you with 33 and you bet middle pair 5th kicker for value all the way.

I just don't have it in me to try to tilt other players. I sometimes show hands but for a different reason and here's an example: There's a super nice guy in our game, semi-reg, huge donator. He folded a hand and I showed my over pair bec I want him to know that I play friendly. It's the other side of the coin: Be friendly and they don't mind losing to you as much as to the player that tells them off.

But if they DO go off, that's just fine w/ me. Sometimes it's bec they can't even hand read like when I flop a combo draw 6 ways and then get accused of betting/raising when I had 'nothing.' That's really the best.

I literally cannot imagine what it's like to live like this, and I'm happy to never find out. It's gotta be exhausting.

Eh... not really. Doesn't happen that much. I did get bullied a lot when I was younger, as I was a short, chubby kid in a school with only a 3% minority population. I guess that chip on the shoulder is still there is someone disrespects me with bad intentions as an adult.

Ha, word. I'm the opposite: skinny and white. If someone offers to "take it outside" (which has happened when I've stepped in to defend another player who was being berated) I say, "**** no. You're three times my size!"

This gives the table a chuckle and allows the instigator to say something like, "Then keep your mouth shut," which is all he wants from the exchange — that acknowledgement and last word.

You got me. I cannot even pretend to be able to imagine what it's like to have been a short, chubby black kid among a 97% white population.

There's only two people that I can of that will berate my play from time to time(I wish it were more actually) and I usually just tell them: "I don't play as good as you!" And that's pretty much it. And it more or less ends there.

Maybe you should think of what your favorite poker player might say in those types of situations and say something like that; maybe that'll give you an idea or a direction as to how you're going to handle these awkward spots in the future(?) and/or enable you to even see a clearer version of yourself. Take Daniel N, for example; everyone knows his personality at the tables and how he's likely to handle a tough spot if confronted----maybe you should try channeling what he would say (WWDD?)...and do that. (something tells me that you're probably more like DN than opposed to someone like Tony G or Scott Brunson, who, are two players who would have ZERO problem handling themselves at the poker table, albeit with two totally different approaches, I assure you). Not to digest too much but hopefully you can see my point on it.

Now, if someone is berating others, then it depends WHO they're berating in regards to how I may better approach that. Not every situation is the same, but, it IS one of my pet peeves at the table so it's rare for me to not say *something*...and I'm pretty good at diffusing things like that without being a dick.

No one in Minnesota ever tries to "take it outside", at least not during the 8 month winter.

Think the TV Show "Everybody Hates Chris" & a little bit of the Dave Chappelle black KKK member sketch. I grew thick skin, but have a lot of horrible stories as well. That's another thread though.

I usually wait for a good time and just say "teach me master".

And laugh.

I actually went to a mostly minority HS and was one of the few whites.

LOL

Not comparing, you just made me think of that.

I'm sure your experience may have been equally crazy lol. This was a Catholic elementary/middle school. When I went to high school I went to two different public schools. One about 90% black/middle eastern/hispanic. The other about 60% white and the rest a large diverse minority base. Then I went to college at an HBCU (Historically Black College/University). I got to see the extremes of everything as a kid. Haha.

Yeah, as long as you live it's all good.....lol.

The one thing it taught me was, crazy sees no color.