Somedays I never wish I saw that donk Moneymaker make that incredible bluff on Farha back in 03. It is the reason why I am the wreck I am today. I have been playing poker since then but didn’t know wtf I was doing until about a year and a half ago. Started playing online more seriously, bought in for 200 and am currently at 370. But over the past 6 months all poker has done is ruin my life. I am currently playin sng’s only after reading Moshmans book and a couple sessions with online sng pro a v0id in me. Things got off to a good start as I was doin work building up my 200 br to 850 in less than 3 months by playing $6.50 sngs 9, 18, and 45 mans only. My goal was to move up in limits before the summer but now summer is here, I am back where I have started. Ever since I got to my peak at 850 it has been nothing but down hill, all it has been is the worst poker I have ever seen. I keep getting called so light and see such horrible plays, it is not making poker fun for me anymore. The bad beats are never ending.

All I want to do is be successful in poker, I have been studying the game non stop and know way too much to be stuck in these low limits. But I feel like I am just jogging in place, I can never get move up because of the limits I play at and I will never make a living because its impossible to beat these low limit players. I really do think it is impossible to start from scratch and build it up. All poker has done is made me want to kill myself. It is a never ending cycle of ups and downs and personally I cant handle it. But poker is all Ive got. It is the only thing that takes me away from the real world yet all it does is make me want to end my life in the real world. I cant ****ing stand school, I have never been a good student but have never failed. I don’t see myself anywhere 5 years from now. I live in a wealthy family but all it has done is make me into a spoiled little bitch. I am not confident about myself and never have been. I even smoke weed but all that does is remind me how much of a loser I truly am.

Everytime I go to p5.com or here and see how there are other people around my age making a living from poker I think, hey why not me. It is my dream because it would end all of my problems, I could move away never have to see my family, never have to go to school, I would be free from all of this. So I non stop try to keep improving my game but it is getting me nowhere. If I became successful in poker, I could finally be proud of myself for once, because I never have been. But I am just stuck in place, how am I suppose to build a BR if I keep making +ev plays but get sucked out on constantly, I am not trying to make a “I RUN BAD” thread, I just need someone to hear me. The never ending cycle of doing everything right and only coming out on top half the time is making me hate life and even more want to end. But I can never get away from poker because it is the only thing I want to do with my life. Every time I see DJK (a kid my age) or NEONPILLS99 make a big cash I think about how amazing it would be to live their life. I would give anything for it.

I have no one to talk to about this because my parents will flip out and think I am crazy and of the few friends I have, I don’t think they would listen. I really just don’t know what to do anymore and that’s why suicide seems like the best option right now. Thank you to anybody who read all of this.

i think you can never find out the caliber of poker player you are by playing low limit games. even a $100 buy in game has more than its share of donkeys and all in fests.

you need to save up and play in some $500 and $1000 tourneys, or go to B&M's that are hosting these events and single table statelite into one.

if you're good enough to take down one table and win a seat and then go deep in the bigger buy in event, then MAYBE you have what it takes.

you'll never know by grinding it out at $6 tournies.

i think making your first post here was a good way to start. Bad beats are going to be a big part of the game. Bad beats are the reason players come back and play. To be honest, the hardest part about poker is having the ability to control your emotions day after day without ever blowing up. Things like understanding the odds and that you actually had 65% equity in a certain situation can help you get through those times you don't seem to be winning. The game of hold'em has went through many changes and requires excellent game selection now. If you are a good player, you can definitely beat hold'em cash games if you pick the right tables you can play your A game at and stay in line at. Omaha has sort of taken over what hold'em used to be, a game with people having no idea what they're doing in. With your bankroll, you could easily take some shots at some (.10/.25?) games. Put effort into table selecting hold'em and omaha cash games to play in.

give up poker

Go get a full-time job at Jamba Juice or something and stop playing poker for a couple months. Go out and meet some people. Leave the sanctity of your home and make something of yourself. You feel like a failure because you are a failure. But that's a very easy title to get rid of if you keep on trying. I was in your position once and know that nothing anybody tells you will change your thought process; nothing you read here will make you do anything to better yourself. There's really nothing that I can say to help with your situation; you'll need to find your own way. Just remember that the most foolish thing you could do is succumb to the comfort of the hole dug around you and to just give up. How would you get rid of your title then?

Feel free to come give poker another try after you clear your head and get a bit of money in your pockets.

Forget SNGs. Play large tournaments. You always have the potential for a big prize every day. Only play tournaments you have 100+ buyins for. You can play several a day. And some donk shoving over your KK with K9o and winning will happen several times a day. Getting KOd from tourneys with your AKs vs K4o will happen often. That's standard in poker. Everyone gets unbelievable bad beats. Don't play cash or small-field SNGs.

I am a losing player, but one day I will win big. You can too.

Start really studying...not just reading books. Sign up for some training sites and learn from the best in the game. After you have watched 100 hours worth of videos, get 50 buyins at $6 sngs or cash games and start grinding. Get $1500ish or so, then play a few tiny mtts every day if that is what you aspire to do. The variance in mtts is sick and you prob wont ever make it by doing those. So yeah, study, study, study, then grind a lot. GL to you.

It seems like a big problem is that you are obsessed with the idea that poker is the only way to make you happy. I would plead with you to take a step back and consider that thought. The only way for you to be happy is to be good at a card game?

You have no idea what an advantage you have over people like me simply because of your youth. Time is on your side and there are so, so many ways for you to take advantage of it. Isn't there something you could do while you sort things out? How about a co-ed beer volleyball league where the beautiful young women play? Or some other fun social activity.

Please don't flip out with envy just because some kids your age won a few donkaments. There's such a big luck element with them anyway.

You have more opportunity available than you realize. Hang in there.

Why? Be specific. You could accomplish the things you mention by just getting a job so why poker?

Also if you are from a wealthy family why don't you start playing higher limits? You seem to think the problem is that low limits are unbeatable with the implication that if you could escape them you'd be fine so just buy in for more and do it.

If I had played that many SnGs I too would be considering ending it all

I would probably switch to cash first and then wonder why I spend so long playing such a depressing game

You can ONLY make money if your opponents are poor players. The worse they play against you the more money you make....wanting to make money at poker but hating donks and poor plays is a surefire way to ruin your life.

Realize fun poker is not profitable poker for you. Switch to exclusively live play, expect to lose everything you bring to the table and your life will improve drastically. You can go back to online poker when you have $500 to gamble away and not get upset.

If you can't do that...switch to daytrading and tell me what you learn before you pull the trigger.

DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE ! Jeezus. Instead, let the thought that you COULD commit suicide any time to end the pain comfort you, but don't actually do it. You never know how things will turn out. Think of it like a tourney: you always have a chip and a chair in life, if you simply end your own life (donk out), you have absolutely no chance of +EV in the future.

As for building up from scratch, it is very much possible. I started with 5 free dollars a couple years ago and have built that up to several tens of thousands of dollars, and I know of many people who have done the same.
If you really want to succeed at poker just make a real effort and keep at it, there will be times when you feel like setting your PC on fire and jumping out the window (like now i guess) but it's just part of the game for most...

The problem I see recently is that online players have lost the fear of loosing their chips specially in the low limits, you get called with anything you get sucked out, you can be always ahead in a hand and still be a loosing player, ppl dont have fear nowdays. I do so bad in low limit tournaments is not even funny, I switched completely to cash and the story changed completely, even the .50/1 limit is way better than any of the low limit sit and goes, then when you move to 1/2 things change and by the time you got to 3/6 if you are really good and have done your homework thats when you are going to start seeing the cream in poker. Extremely big MTT I wouldnt advise them, anything bigger then 500 players is difficult but if you make a decent money in cash you can afford to buy in bigger buy MTT 150$+ and get good results. Im not gonna say beat the low limits are impossible, ppl have done it and keep doing it, for me the griding is just to much and to much stress. I think taking some time off is good, it works for me I take 2 weeks when I start having a loosing time, do some more reading, review hands from my pokertracker see what wrong and come back again.

imo ur putting way too much stock into poker. Your idol, moneymaker was a casual player who worked as an accountant (i think), who happened to luckbox thru the ME. U need to focus on other more stable things in your life and treat poker as a hobby, this way, varience wont afffect u as much. get a career, a hobby or some ****. ****, i have so much other stuff in my life such as my career, bodybuilding, & training and competing in brazilian jiu jitsu that w/e happens in poker doesnt bother me at all, because i have so many other good things going for me.

holla.

Success in poker won't make you happy, at least it didn't do it for me. After few successful years as pro I burned out and I'm now feeling worse than ever. I'm anxious, tired and feeling ****ty all the time. Money doesn't mean much when you lose your health. Don't off yourself, things will get better. At least that's what I believe. I don't have much advice other than keep struggling to become happier. Good luck!

just do it you emo wimp

stop bitching about losing $600 over a long period of time. read the post about the guy who sold his sl65 and his flat and then bitch about your pocket change. you suck OP.

First of all, stop smoking weed. At your state, it'll just bring you down and make you more paranoid. If you wanna pursue poker, read some books and improve your game. Start working out or at least go for walks to relax your mind. When you feel comfortable enough with your game, try to get a bigger bankroll and move up. Life seems meaningless when you are young but that's part of growing up. Things will click later down the line. GL

Yeah, poker is a career, you cannot go and be a medic in a couple of months, even less a good medic, or any other career, poker IS a career if you want to be your main source of income and if you want to be good at it, hey you got to suck it up and its gonna take years, yes there are ppl that the first tournament they play they win, or they play 1 or 2 $ and then try a 215$ tourney and win the sunday million, but hey for most of us thats not happening you really need to work, give it time, study, practice, study and practice and then again give it time, Matter of fact it will be pretty good when you get upthere and look back and see all your efford and how it paid off, that would be a good feeling of acomplishment.

1) Play live
2) Keep a gun in the car

Now that's gambling.

specially in NY and boston lol

DON'T KILL YOURSELF OVER POKER! Stop playing please if it brings this out of you. Life is much more valuable than a game like poker.

6 months, how many sng's is that?

6*25*10= 1500, just playing one hour a day.

and that's only 10 tabling. wickss 24 tables.

so it looks like you should have 6000+ sng's minimum. what's your pokertracker stats?

You can't kill yourself even if you wanted to. This is what the government doesn't want you to know about: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_suicide

We are all immortal

this is very very spot on. OP i suggest u read this paragraph over about 50 times.