I play HUSNGs primarily and with the wins come the inevitable losses. Everyone experiences these and I'm looking for a more constructive and healthy way of thinking about them.

I want to reframe my mindset concerning them and learn to think about them differently.

Any thoughts on a good way to use or think about losses that is positive and helpful overall?

first of all you have to find a mindset that works for you. don't try to copy someone else's, because it may have a completely different effect on your mind than theirs. the mind is incredibly intricate and we are all very different in personality, lifestyle, etc... so you need to figure out through trial-and-error and knowing yourself to find what works for you.

that being said, not all losses are alike:
-you can play well against a poor player and still lose.
-you can start out playing well, and deteriorate as a match/session goes on as you get stuck.
-you can play well against a strong opponent and have it be his day.
-you can play poorly throughout because you are tired, downswinging or whatever, and lose.

a lot of your question has to do with having a strong foundation of confidence (which is something you develop over extended, consistent success and other positive reinforcement). the stronger that foundation is, the more you can be comfortable playing through losses. be honest with yourself about what your own thresholds are, and when take breaks/regroup when you need to. i wouldn't try to "reframe your mindset," as it is an unrealistic expectation. in theory it sounds good, to just disconnect from caring, but remember you're also an emotional being. again in theory it sounds nice to just totally separate 'real life' from poker, but again it simply doesn't work that way in reality. you're going to have emotions attached to poker, and emotions attached to outside life - to your mind and body they are just emotions treated in similar respect, so in that sense they are intertwined.

most professional athletes use emotion and adrenaline as a tool for competition, but they still have to control and harness those emotions. since poker is clearly far more about utilizing your mind (which emotions tend to cloud), there's less of a place for them in competition. in more cases than not, emotions tend to me a distraction/deterrent from logical thinking. but they're going to exist in you regardless, so again its a similar task (as athletes) to control and harness them in the most positive manner you are able to. there is more emphasis on controlling and staying level-headed, but it's still about knowing yourself and finding the balance that works for you.

really like that response. thanks.

yoshi- great response.

would you be so kind as to offer some suggestions as to how you control your emotions. i understand that it may not work for us but it would be nice to hear about your method.

1) Most important to me is staying diverse and balanced in my day-to-day activities and long term goals. There have been several times where I've neglected other aspects of life that I enjoy, in a mild obsession for poker. This magnifies the importance of having good results, and even a single losing day can affect me negatively. Think of it like being in a relationship. If you neglect all the rest of your friends, every little fight you have is going to turn your world upside down because you have no other (active) friendships to turn to.

2) I try very hard not to advertise bad beats to people, either over messengers or forums. Part of it has to do with just being polite (people really don't care, I know I don't). However I also think it isn't the constructive outlet that many make it out to be... "I just had to get it off my chest". Bad beats don't promote any type of constructive learning/discussion, and they reinforce the notion that results are out of your control.

Whether or not you consider yourself someone who sends bad beats, try to go an entire month without sending ANY kind of poker beat to anyone. You might be surprised how difficult it is.

3) I guess the last thing would be what I discussed in my original reply about having legitimate confidence in your game. Not just saying "I'm confident" but actually having the results and work put in to back it up. If losses seem to be affecting you more than usual, go back and work on your game. Post in strategy threads, watch videos, run EV calculations, whatever reminds you that you have the skills required to be a winner.

This is very good advice. Poker is like my wife. My dirty cheating wife..lol... but seriously very good point.

I remind myself that the bad beats are how I am supposed to lose. I made good decisions and my opponents made bad ones.

This.

Be sure to take care of your real life, each and every day. Exercise. Connect with those who are important to you. Eat healthy food. Do your chores. And when the time you've budgeted for poker is up, put it aside until tomorrow.

I think the best you can do is take solace in the manner in which you experience a given lose or losses. When I'm outdrawn by a miracle card because villain made the crushingly stupid play but got away with it, it's a defeat in the immediate term, but an overall win in the long term if you continue to keep discipline, read opponents well, etc. Losing to two outers happens sometimes, and so long as it's the other guys consistently looking to them for their earn there's nothing wrong and you'll come out winner either tomorrow or the next day. 'Long as you're on the proper end of the long odds, you're playing correctly and everything should--will--work out to your favor over the long run. I hope this helps.

imo, the main thing is to find the cause of a loss! if you played well and cause was bad luck, than it really doesn't matter, but if you played bad and get it in very bad you should stop and think if you are still in a right mindset to play or are you already tilted!

winning or losing doesn't really matter as long as you play right way, that should be your primal focus, but of course that is theory which isn't so easy to accomplish, but constantly thinking this way will eventually train you to think the right way!

Think of it as something to sweeten up your next victory even more.

+1

great response

think in the long run!

if you're a winning player you shouldnt think about shortterm-loses.

also +1 what yoshi said, great stuff

if i had a -xk session i like to imagine i just flushed it all down the toilet. the villians won it because i WANTED them to win. If i am in another mood i will take it back,