Hi

I've been playing poker since December 2007. I've started off with the deal from pokerstrategy but soon got bored with the small limits so I deposited on my own to play 11$ turbo sngs, MTTs and Cash. Since I didn't play according to my roll I often went bancrupt again. since I've had a good job and still was living at home, I deposited again a "normal" bankroll for sngs, cash and mtts and was quite successfull as long as I didn't have any private problems. However, 2008 was a very rough year for me and this often had an effect on poker. I started tilting, was depressed and lost more and more. I've betrayed my employer, my family and lost quite some money. As soon as I got over the depression I was successful again, I've had about 7bb at 50-100NL over 50'000k hands, I've finished 5th in an MSOP tournament (2000 runners, 25$ buyin), I've had about 8% roi over 1000 11$ turbo sngs and so on and so on.

In summer 2008 I was really at the low point of my life so far and lost my whole BR of 4000 dollars within 30 minutes. After that I've often self excluded myself of my two favourite poker sites (from one I'm banned now, because I've often reopened an account during these self-exclusion periods). My private life got better and better, I'll finish school for my absolute dream job in one year, I have a well paying job again until I finish school (6k per month) and I have a wonderful girlfriend.

But I really love Poker. I love it as a pastime but I also love it because I'm convinced I can be good. This job I have at the moment pays well but is horribly boring and I'd rather make money playing poker. I'm a very smart guy, especially in math and I cannot accept that I can't beat poker. So many people seem successful in this, why shouldn't I. Since I'm working again I'm much more aware of my finances and paying attention to what and where I spend my money. Last month I deposited a little bit (100$) again on one poker site, won a satelitte and got 3rd in a 55$ MTT with 250 runners and won 1300$ and cashed it out.

At the moment I've really overcome all my problems from previous years, especially loneliness. I'm not the person or at the place I've been 2 years ago. Should I play poker again (but of course keep my job)? Last sunday of course someone from my neighbourhood must win the biggest sunday million ever..this kind of fuels my interest more in playing poker again..

Even when you win, in poker, it can still be counted as a loss.

It takes away from your contribution to the world with your unique talents.

It takes away from family and friends.

It puts your mind into a very competitive and detached state, in real life.

It shifts you in a direction that you probably don't want to go, which is why you ask for counsel from people that have felt the same way, but haven't quit yet.

IT is ultimately, YOU. Poker isn't forcing you to do anything. Its your choice to continue on this path.

Go ALL-IN on your career and forget about poker for a year. Get a job where you are helping people, in stead of trying to rip pots of of them. I dare you.

you seem like you have something good here. dunt throw it away. dunlt quit your job for a game u haven't profited from yet. keep the job and play poker on the side, be a semi-pro .and keep ur life stress free

if you love poker....

fix your leaks and go at it again. Keep trying until you make

your (and by your I mean ours) them song should be " I get knocked down, but I get up again and everyone brings me down...."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2H5uWRjFsGc&feature=fvst

Thanks for all your replies.
you're absolutely right I have something great going and I definitely only want to have poker as a pastime. I hope I'll be able to do that and poker won't control me and my life again..

Seems like you have a good life... you have your dream job and wonderful girlfriend. Just play poker for fun. You don't have to deposit like 5k to play poker. Just get used to playing smaller stakes. Should be easier since you took a long break.

focus on winning consistently, it doesn't matter what the stakes are. be disciplined. Once you can do this for an extended period following proper bankroll management, move up, but only when you're ready.

without discipline and a focus on winning/making the best decision possible on every street you'll be stuck in that vicious cycle of pain and agony forever..its a daily struggle for me - i just semi-tilted, just playing to lose, which essentially cost me 8 buy-ins at the $12/180s on stars for $96
ps: walk away when you first realize that you're not playing your best game

Dont come back. Poker is boring as well. Seems like things are going good for you..keep it that way..its not worth the stress.

keep it as a (marginally profitable) hobby and youll be fine

try to make a job out of it

and youll either

1) fail

2) hate it and fail

3) succeed and hate it