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Problems with success..self sabotage??? Problems with success..self sabotage???

10-11-2013 , 01:48 PM
Poker is the toughest ego tester i have found so far in life. I have trouble with success more than the strategy. For example , moving up limits to fast, tough time playing my best after a few day winning streak, trying to copy my biggest win in one session, never satisfied being up a few hundred bucks. How do i work on discipline and consistent winner without getting a big head? please help !
Problems with success..self sabotage??? Quote
10-13-2013 , 02:11 PM
Words of advice - even from a sage - will not help you here. This is something you have experience and learn on your own. Things like patience and discipline can never be taught, they must be learned by the self through life experience. Some mature faster and learn quicker, while others never learn and it may become character flaws.
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10-14-2013 , 04:00 AM
Maybe you have to start by asking yourself a few basic questions Checkmate.

Why do I play poker?
What am I trying to achieve?
Where does contentment fit into all of this?
Am I content outside poker?

And the biggy.........Am I really as good as I perceive I am?

From the brief outline you have sketched, you seem to be still figuring out what your measuring stick is, and what you are actually measuring. Have you set your calibrations too far apart? Do you have a structured approach? (like playing to a Business Plan).

What do you think is missing in your approach?

This may not apply to you, but from my observations, people who are unsettled on the poker table are generally unsettled in the bigger world out there.

Maybe you just have to go back to square one; evaluate and clearly define what you want to achieve and take a decisive (scientific?) structured approach to meeting the targets you have set yourself.

Small, confident and achievable steps.

(similar to Hardball, at the end of the day it is only you that can work it out. You have to start by identifying what isn't working. This task will take self-refection, honesty and some time to capture all the issues that are entwined with this).

Will really only be seriously addressed when you address it seriously.
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10-15-2013 , 08:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by revolio
people who are unsettled on the poker table are generally unsettled in the bigger world out there.
Amen to that.

If things in real life are not going to plan, using poker as a way out is much more difficult.

I think you have to be fairly content in life to succeed in poker or at least have some balance in life.
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10-15-2013 , 10:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hap_Hazard

I think you have to be fairly content in life to succeed in poker or at least have some balance in life.

I put it on another post, it is by a researcher in psychology who states these 5 things develop stable wellbeing and help fuel a successful game:

1.)Positive Mindset to situations
2.)Being Proactive in life and taking responsibility for all events, actions and your responses to situations.
3.)Having worthwhile relationships with others
4.)Having a purpose and meaning in life
5.)Recognizing your successes

Try to consider the five points above and think which ones you need to do more work with. This should help to stabilize things and allow you to be more effective in life both on and off the tables.

(Reference: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/perma.htm)
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10-15-2013 , 05:38 PM
All very good points. Structure and targets have been lacking on my part. As far as contentment trying to find it in poker seems to be my wrong goal.
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10-25-2013 , 04:05 PM
A good start would be to spend some time in the probability forums, or browse through a book on the more advanced concepts of poker. When I was just starting out as a reg, I thought I was so brilliant, I'd snap fold TT 10 BB deep heads upand think I was just such a smart guy for folding, because they could have JJ+ lol.

However, the more I learn about poker, the more I see what I don't know. It's going to take a lifetime to become an expert. 10 000 hours to become an expert, how many have you played so far? And more importantly, how many of those hours are you devoting to studying?

I downloaded over 1000 videos related to the poker games I play. I've watched maybe 50 so far, and I've read at least a dozen poker books. And I am more certain than ever that there is so much I still don't know yet. This actually motivates me to keep learning, and focusing on what I can do better instead of having my ego get soul crushed when I lose a few games over a small sample to a fish.


A couple weeks ago I was really frustrated over a cooler I was on, and I whined about it on here. Since then I've been extremely motivated to improving, moreso even than when I first discovered the game. It's this hunger for improvement that has given me the fuel to win more in the last few weeks than I had in any time period before.

Best of luck finding that motivation too.
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10-25-2013 , 04:46 PM
Got new targets that im sure will help me flourish. Got a teammate to help me enforce them. Sad and humbling but payoff could be sleeping in a hammock on beach getting served by models.
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10-25-2013 , 06:16 PM
Hi Checkmateyourmove:

You described two things that psychological research show can make you more risk-prone than typical. First, recent wins make people become risk-prone. Second, negative emotions (from losing or not winning as much as yesterday?) can also make you risk-prone. In poker, risk-proneness can take the form of playing EV<0 hands that you otherwise wouldn't have played, which will obviously hurt you long-term.

Just knowing that information may help you!

One other thing to keep in mind is that the results of poker sessions are highly, highly variable. A positive EV player, for example, will have some outstanding sessions, some "typical" sessions, and, yes, some losing sessions (and a decent percentage of them! Maybe 25-40%?). That is, poker has high variance! You can't expect to specific results each and every time you play. That's simply impossible, even for the very elite. All you can do is play each hand optimally.

Hope that helps,
Heath
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10-25-2013 , 06:40 PM
amen to that risk prone sums it up. i gamble in life and in my poker. probably because i have no one by my side to keep me in line and well i dont like to walk the straight line since life is to short. which explains why ive lost in poker. taking out the risk or fancy plays in my game is cringe worthy even as a thought.
This is my ego plain and simple and i know the tiger must be tamed for success and consistency to follow. knowing something is only 20 percent of this fight. putting it in action is what i am aiming for by opening myself on forums and asking for help by my gf to pull me out of games...haha game on!
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10-25-2013 , 06:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by checkmateyourmove
amen to that risk prone sums it up. i gamble in life and in my poker. probably because i have no one by my side to keep me in line and well i dont like to walk the straight line since life is to short. which explains why ive lost in poker. taking out the risk or fancy plays in my game is cringe worthy even as a thought.
This is my ego plain and simple and i know the tiger must be tamed for success and consistency to follow. knowing something is only 20 percent of this fight. putting it in action is what i am aiming for by opening myself on forums and asking for help by my gf to pull me out of games...haha game on!
I'm glad that helped. I've actually written a short book about these topics. If you're interested, PM me. I can send you a way to get the book at 20% off.

Cheers,
Heath
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10-25-2013 , 06:52 PM
The idea of asking your gf to help you is a good start, but know that it's only a band-aid solution. You need to be able to get yourself to the point where you
a) become aware of when you're too angry to play, and leave the tables, then
b) become aware of when you're too angry to play, and revert to playing your normal game

Playing consistent is something that only you control. What are you going to do if eventually you start being quiet when you're tilting, and the gf isn't aware that you need to take a break? What about if she tells you to take a break, and you accidentally tell her to **** off?
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10-25-2013 , 07:27 PM
we decided on a time limit for her to pick me up.. 2 hours. last time i checked bandaids are used to heal a wound. my wound is not being able to leave the table before two hour mark once wound heals properly, i slowly tear the bandaid off.
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10-25-2013 , 09:49 PM
You clearly didn't grasp the metaphor. You don't use a band-aid where stitches are needed. Her picking you up after a certain time limit isn't going to help you if you start tilting 15 minutes into a session.

What is the reason you need to leave the table after 2 hours? Do you start to lose your mental focus and end up making -EV errors? The only reason you should ever leave a table is if the games aren't good anymore. As David Sklansky said, " if the game is good, you should prop your eyelids with toothpicks if you need to." Work on your mental game, push out of your comfort zone and play 2:15, then 2 and a half, 3 etc..
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10-25-2013 , 09:50 PM
Quote:
band-aid solution
noun [C] mainly US
› a temporary solution that does not deal with the cause of a problem:
This is what I was referring to.
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10-25-2013 , 11:47 PM
I dont tilt in 15 min. I play my C game after two hrs. So this is not bandaid. It solves issue till i get use to playin two hr sessions and can leave alone at that time. 9/10 ive been up at 2 hr mark. So going by the numbers
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10-26-2013 , 02:42 AM
Saying you play your C game after x amount of time is kind've a self fulfilling prophecy don't you think?

And 9/10 yeah right! I play heads up and even if I'm bum hunting, 9/10 winning sessions over a 2 hour period would be insane even at micro stakes.

Enjoy the bandaid over your stitches. Let us know how rich you get from poker now that you've figured it all out.
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10-26-2013 , 04:43 AM
Lol OP you're being such a dick while people are trying to help you. You're asking for help yourself yet you wrap yourself around a protective bubble. Go figure.
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10-26-2013 , 11:13 AM
Its what my numbers say. Why would i lie about being 9/10 winning sessions before two hr mark? Im here to solve the issue not make up stories...lol well tried ear pulling technique and it worked on day 1. But already have an urge to do two sessions a day of those..haha damn that greed!
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10-26-2013 , 09:44 PM
Winning 9 of 10 sessions over 2 hours is unsustainable. Furthermore, many losing players seem to overestimate their potential winnings. For example, they'll play -ev poker but cashed out a little over a small sample, and hold onto that nugget as "proof" of their success. Go figure..
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10-26-2013 , 09:49 PM
I never said its sustainable forever. Thx for your input.
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11-06-2013 , 11:53 PM
How do i close my thread? Ive gotten some golden nuggets from it already
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11-07-2013 , 12:13 AM
Click the report button (a question mark in a red triangle) to the left of one of the posts here and write in the message to the mods that you want the thread to be closed.
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11-09-2013 , 03:56 PM
They aren't going to close it. If you got some golden nuggets from it, why on earth would you be so selfish as to not allow others to see the responses?
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