So lets be real here, im not gonna stop playing poker, i mean I have goals that I want to accomplish, i make money playing, and i enjoy the game for the game and the psychological aspects. The problem is my gf. i do love her, alot, but she hates the fact i play. She feels it takes time away from her, which can be true, so she wants me to only play once a week. Which is somewhat difficult to do. I dont want to break up with her over something like this, but at the same time, i dont want to be confined to when i play. Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation. How did you handle it. Also note im pretty sure she waited to tell me this until we moved in together and signed a lease, so up and leaving isnt exactly an option nor is it something i want to do. I also dont think it helps that about 3 months into us dating i hit a major downswing. So all she knew of was that i was going to play and losing. I have since come out of that downswings, months ago and have built my bankroll back up, but that doesnt seem to matter to her all she sees is what happened in the past. Any thoughts on the topic

throw gf in grease fire

???

profit!

Tell her to stop doing something that was okay with you before you guys moved in. If you can't stand up to her now, she's going to have your balls in less than a year. If you can't stand up for yourself to your own girlfriend, you deserve to have her walk over you.

Edit: 224 post

Tell her she can no longer have nice things if you stop playing.

She'll definitely understand then.

www.nomarriage.com

read it, it's very relevant to your situation

Come up with a compromise, like you get some time alone to play poker while she goes out, then spend time her too. Living together doesn't mean you have to do everything as a pair, it's good to have separate interests.

Explain to her poker is important to you, she doesn't necessarily need to understand just be supportive (at the very least some of the time) if situation was reversed you'd do the same right. Anyway if nothing works in the end, maybe you should reevaluate your relationship.

don't sign leases. don't get married. be urself. be honest about your poker commitment -- time, money, etc. don't let poker affect you emotionally away from the tables. don't let a downswing unconsciously lead you to being in a bad mood around gf. then it's only a time issue, and that's between u and gf. u have to work out a compromise that u can both live with. compromise sucks but that's what being in a "relationship" entails. would u be happier single? if not, then do what it takes. just remember that u make these agreements, so u can't resent the limits she imposes on u. gl

teach her to play!

Never ever give a woman something you are afraid to loose. The lease was a bad idea and now you are going to have to deal with the consequences. My advice to you would be to find the cheapest way to dump the bitch. If she is a control freak now then living with her will be next to impossible. Oh and of course
THIS

I think your mistake is sharing your results. You can share how much money you've won in total, but I wouldn't give updates on how you are running, it is burdening to other people to know you are losing hard earned money. They don't really understand downswings if they don't play.

Find a new girl that won't nag at you and kill your dreams.

I think i can give a helpful response but i have to know how a) how serious you are about this girl? How in love with her are you? Is she domineering and nagging about more than this? b) How serious are you about poker? You never said if you were a professional or not, if you are a losing/BE recreational player? Could you possibly quit poker for the sake of your relationship if it somehow came to that? If you were told you could never see your GF again or never play another hand of poker which would you choose? Also if i forget to reply to your response can you PM me since i rarely visit this forum. Thanks.

"It's totally unacceptable and unfair of you to make somebody you love choose between their passion and the person they care about."

Say it like you're really hurt, which shouldn't be too hard considering the circumstance. If she's still selfish and insists you choose between her or poker, drop it like it's hot.

Get a better GF who is more intelligent.

I'm almost certainly much older than all of you and I've seen what poker does to relationships. In short: Few lasting, many breakups/divorces. I play mostly B&M and it used to amaze me just how 'incestuous' poker is: players/managers marry each other regularly esp players and the reason is is that only a player understands another player.

If you've got this problem now it is likely to only get worse bec you insist on gambling. Then you explain 'it isn't gambling (lol)' and she doesn't understand. You want to take a chance on a life w/ a woman like that? GL, but I'd end it now.

Hmmmm......Looking at what I wrote I realize that I must be in a dark mood. I'm going to see it there's a comedy on cable. Like 'Death Race'.

This.

Also pump a few random chicks in between (winner)

Bob

I still think where op ****ed it up is telling his gf about "downswings."

You need to internalize all your swings and deal with them yourself like everyone else.

You say "So all she knew of was that i was going to play and losing." however she wouldn't have known about any downswings if you never mentioned them amirite?

This^

or

If you are really in love, buy her something nice from your poker money,maybe then she will understand why you want to play

555+

WIN

I must say I'm a little shocked at most of the responses. I hope you were all kidding.
There is so much that I could write about relationships and compromise and more but that's not the point.
Is poker really worth more to you than she is? If so, then she isn't worth much to you because turly having someone in your life is worth much more than you are making by playing.
Not that I expect you to understand that, so we'll try using man-logic instead. You have a choice: Poker or Poke Her. Which one would a real man choose?

No not really. I throw all my GF-s in the grease fire once the relationship reaches a certain stage.
Well she clearly isnt compromising. Sounds more like an ultimatum to me.
Maybe. If i like them, they are reasonable(Like thats ever going to happen) and fun to be with.
You really should stop trying to understand man-logic. You suck at it. He has a choice: Maybe bang her (Probabaly not going to get a lot of chances since she is already setting ultimatums) or Win $$$ go out and get some hookers and blow.

Hmm... You realize he may quit poker and then she could dump him because he may not want to "compromise"* other things right? You can't let every serious girlfriend you've ever had change you fundamentally.

Which one would the real man choose? both!

*I use the word compromise lightly because here it means quit a really big goal entirely. Who knows what else this girl has on her checklist for changing op. I'm sure something.

OP never really said how much he plays, which is a really important factor. Playing an hour or two a day vs. 6-8 hours a day makes a big difference in how unreasonable the GF is being in asking him to cut back.

OP also never said exactly how much GF wants him to cut back. You only mentioned playing once a week, does she want you to cut down to once a week for an hour or one decent session a week? Again, makes a big difference in how unreasonable she is being.

Exactly. OP has presented this as an all or nothing scenario whereas probably all she wants is a little more attention.

Oh deary me. You should stick to playing poker, because you no nothing at all about great sex.