Lately, our home games have been infested by players who are hit and run artists, and players who pester me with phone calls and texts after the game is underway (instead of just showing up on time) to ask 'how many players are there?'

I pride myself on being a good, friendly host to everyone.

How to best handle problem of a player inviting himself to your home game?

There is a certain player whom I unfortunately invited previously to my home game (which is a casual and 'just for fun' poker game with friends). This player is NOT on my invite list currently.

This particular player is dead serious, all business, no socializing, and plays for blood and money pure and simple (which changes the mood of the table and simply kills the spirit of the home game).

To make matters worse, this player always has an excuse for not showing up on time, is argumentative, and is a notorius 'hit and run' artist.

This player is an ultra-nit, simple waits for a hand to double up on or put a beat on one of the guys, then simply gets up and leaves suddenly when about to be the big blind.

In addition, he is rude to our new (as is 'new to poker') players, constantly belittling them and criticizing their calls / actions, and we have lost a couple of new players never to see them again as a result.

This player unfortunately knows - and is good friends with - two of our regular players with which we have no problems.

What happens is we get a full table, the player texts me an hour or later into the game and then asks if there is a seat. My game does start full, and I say 'the game is full' ... then this dude proceeds to circumvent me and repeatedly text and/or call the two players he knows at my game until there is an open seat...then simply shows up...uninvited.


How can I put an end to this crap without being blatantly rude about it and pissing off his two buddies at my game?

How would you handle these issues in a diplomatic, friendly way?

There is no diplomatic way. You have tried to avoid a confrontation, but now you must just put your foot down. tell his friends that he is not welcome in your home and ask them to stop inviting him. If he shows up don't let him in.

Call the CopZ

"I'm sorry, but your approach to the game is not in line with the atmosphere I am attempting to create. You are no longer invited."

I agree with the comments already posted, and some version of this might be the answer for you.

But first, do others in you game share you opinion about this player? Do they all think he is ruining the fun? I ask, because we've had serious, going-for-blood players in our game, and we enjoy having the challenge. Every new approach to our game forces people to react and adapt.

As for hit-and-runners, you could impose a rule that states people must notify you and the table that they are leaving 30 minutes beforehand. Violating this rule would mean a ban from playing for a certain number of games. There could be an exception for emergencies, but if you feel that someone is abusing that exception, you reserve the right to penalize them.

Again, if any of this seems more trouble than it's worth, if you just don't want to have this player in your game, don't bother with this advice and just tell him he is not fitting in and not welcome. It's not easy to do, but you will feel better about yourself when you've done it. You are standing up for what is best for you and your game.

Be sure to first tell him that he is no longer welcome at the games. Then tell his friends. As mentioned, if he shows up anyway, don't let him in.

It's sweet that you want to avoid being rude yourself, but this guy has given you every indication that rude is the currency he trades in. Tell him straight or he won't even hear the words.

buddies actually get a warning too, that YOU are in control of who gets invited. These guys have something to answer for.

Be straight forward and direct. No more round about "nice" answers.

"I do not want you at my home games because your presence creates an unfriendly atmosphere."

make it fixed limit or cap NL, he will never come back, most guys who are "serious" in home games absolutely hate limit holdem.

Thanks. Excellent suggestions.

I think I just need to be up front and let this person know he is not invited. It's almost funny: I really thought that this player would GET A CLUE when they (repeatedly) weren't invited anymore but I guess that's not the case. This guy has a little too much Chutzpah. (And, interestingly, was banned from another local home game, also, recently.)

I also need to talk with the other players and let them know when they arrive next time. I leave the front door unlocked so players can just come in when they arrive but I'm going to have to lock it after everyone is here.

we have a guy, let's call him Darrell.

Darrell is a Crazy Aggro Monkey LAGtard Obnoxious Degen. (CAMLTOD)

when he's losing, he loses 3 to 6 buy ins in a heartbeat. i've seen him buy in, and be all in with Q high in the next hand. good for the game you would think right? unless he's winning. and usually playing with Darrell's typical CAMLTOD method, when he hits with Q4o and doubles up, then rivers a gutshot straight with 3x6x, he will immediately cash out.

but since he loses far more often than he wins, i don't mind the once in 5 times that he hits and runs games i'm attending. my homegame, i let people know that they can "cash out whenever, but i'd prefer everyone play out the session, because we're all here to socialize anyway right?"


now, on the uninvited and frequent hit and runners...
don't reply to texts.
don't let them buy in.
"sorry table's full"
they'll get the picture. if not? oh well.

I'm not entirely in favor of giving him a reason. While I understand that polite people feel it somewhat appropriate to give the player a reason, I fell it invites argument and negotiation.

"you make my game unfun" is a challenge to the other guy ..... you are basically insulting him. You are not invited anymore may seem less polite .... but in reality it lets you be the bad guy and you don;t have to insult him.


"It's not you ... It's me"

Hoping this is a joke/level. OP, under no circumstances should you change anything about your game because of this guy.

In fact, I got a little pissed when I went back and read your post. The guy isn't on your invite list, he shows up, scares off the fish, doesn't socialize, and hits & runs. He doesn't just need to be told to stay away from your game, he needs a good ass-kicking.

(Okay, not seriously advocating violence here, but you need to put your foot down with him and his buddies - he never plays in your game again. Period.)

agree with everybody here; it should be relatively simple to just tell dude he's no longer welcome at the game.

my approach to people coming into my game is this: if an established regular in my game wants to bring an unknown player into the game, they ask me beforehand. They essentially vouch for the new player. If I (or any of the other regs in my friendly low stakes game) has a legitimate problem with the person afterwards, then the person who vouched for them is responsible for informing them that they are no longer invited (and enforcing this is need be).

along with alleviating the host from any possible awkward/uncomfortable confrontations, this helps to force people to really think about whether the person theyre recommending will fit into the game and the rest of the regs

i also leave the door unlocked for players to come in. i have a lot of people texting other players at the game asking if there are any open spots. while i have repeatedly told the players at my game that they are not to say anything, i have come to the realization that telling people to lie to their friends is not the best way to deal with something.

what happens after these people hear that there are open seats, they will text me asking if they can come. depending on who it is or if i have the seats reserved for someone else, i will either tell them yes, they can come, or no, i have someone else coming.

i have had a player sitting at the table tell me that "matt" is coming in five minutes when i did not invite matt. i used to get very bent out of shape about this because i did not like turning people away from the game. however, i have become much tougher about this and i came up with a great strategy. i tell the player who invited matt," ok sure. since there arent any seats available matt will just take your seat." matt stopped being invited by other players immediately.

now, OPs situation is a bit different in that this guy just shows up. in my home game, everyone who plays knows one another and we are all decent to very good friends. if someone pulled that **** on me, i would say to him," i did not invite you. you may not sit down at the table. please leave." i dont give 2 craps whether or not some of my regs are very good friends with this kid. what are the regs going to do? boycott my game until this kid is allowed to play? hell no they arent- they are just gonna say "ok. sorry man." and then they will continue playing.

imo, it does not matter what the other players think of OPs problem guy. OP is using his house, his chips, his cards, and is risking the most by far. OP is hosting the game and because of that, he is God.

Pfap, are you not God at your game? Same question to you Eneely. I don't think I have heard of any established game having a lack of players to choose from.

Tell him that he's too good and that you'd prefer he take someone else's money.

If your not looking for a big showdown with him - this approach will work, at least once or twice. If he still hasn't caught on - do what everyone else said.

But I would think saying "Table Full" to his text would probably do the trick.

Sarge

We have plenty of players. And we've been adding more lately.

Ours is an old game, with many long-time players. And we play at several venues. So the game has its own dynamic. Some things are up to the host. Others are often left to the group to decide, like what games to play or cash vs tourney.

But who plays in our game? There is no open door anywhere we play. Everyone knows that new players must be approved, and the person vouching for them is responsible for their conduct.

I can remember only one person who did not fit in, years ago. I won't go into the details. He got the hint that he was not welcome about the same time we realized he was a jerk and quit coming. So we've been lucky that way.

Nope. This is what OP does now, and the dbag just texts his friends instead to get the real story. There's no room left here for subtlety - tell him to his face that he is not welcome, and make sure his friends know that if they invite him, they also get the boot.

I HATE this question. It implies that they don't want to show up on time and will only show up when it is no longer shorthanded. When players asks me this I tell them that there's an open seat for him, there isn't an open seat and that I'll put him on the waiting list, or I just ignore the question.

I'm getting very annoyed at people not showing up on time. I did something extreme in my last game. When I invited them (thru facebook) I told them that if no one shows up 5 minutes past the hour, I'll leave without warning to the closest cardroom and play baccarat. 12 people signed up so I was expecting about 15 different people. One person showed up early. Another person sent me a panicky txt saying he'll be slightly late and not to cancel.

Mr. Panicky TXT shows up 15 min late and see me and the person who showed up early playing HU baduci. He said, "wtf there's only three of us?" then he turned to me and said, "let's go to a casino" I said, "let's wait a little longer."

A 4th person txt me 30 min past the hour saying he is going to get dinner because he doesn't want to pay $2 for a slice of pizza and asks me how many players are there. That pissed me off. We wrapped up the baduci game (I lost bout 8BB btw) and left for our local cardroom.

i didnt wanna beat a dead horse by telling him to tell him to gtfo, so since 48 people already said that, i offered another POV. It is however a fact, and not a level, the vast majority of people that OP described are mostly NLHE and sometimes PLO "players" but think FLHE is for idiots and wont play it for a prolonged amount of time, so if hes not going to boot him, change it up til he bounces for a few sessions then go back to the normal game.


Or make it known to everyone that you have to RSVP 2 days prior, and no matter when he tries to RSVP tell him hes on the list but the table is full and youll call him whenever theres one open

/thread

At my home game you have to give 20-30 minutes notice if you want to leave. In home game poker time that equates to 1-2 hands.

It's not the amount of hands imo it's the fact that you are stating you are leaving in 20-30 minutes instead of just getting up and walking out the door OR you could just say when you arrive how long you wish to play for.

IMO, this guy sounds like a douche so maybe this policy doesn't apply to him. Just slap him with the ban hammer and if he decides to come again, put a laxative in his drink or something.

Chronic douche I think. Kick him out and be nice tho, just say it was unanimous choice among everyone in the home game or something.

i also have a pretty good dynamic with all of my players because we are all good friends. however, it is a known fact that whenever there is any sort of controversey within my game, i am the final authority. some players of course try to argue with me and i try to listen, but i make the final decision.

we also play at several different venues, with my house being the main venue. i think that i have set the example that the host has control. however, with decisions such as cash vs tourney or what stakes and such- i will usually let the group decide that. the thing i take full control over is policy and rules and such.

While I think you're right that switching to FL will get this guy to flake off, I think it's the wrong answer. First, you run the risk of losing other players who also don't want to play FL. Second, it's a matter of principle. In my house, you play my game by my rules. I'm not going to alter the game to get rid of some jerkwad who shouldn't even be there in the first place.

Yeah, we've told OP what he needs to do, so on this we agree.