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Friend is losing consistently Friend is losing consistently

02-27-2012 , 01:33 PM
I'm a student and every Sunday night I host a micro stakes nl game at my place. The game is nl10 (Euro's since I'm from Belgium), it plays a bit bigger because we often have double/triple straddle on and we're pretty deep. It's a friendly game just to start off the week and we have some online grinders mixed with a couple of fishy players. For the most part we're drinking, smoking and having fun.

Lately a friend of mine has been losing quite alot, I think in the last 2 months he has lost 400-500. Ofc this isn't that much money, but he's an unemployed student who probably gets 60 allowance a week. So for him it affects his standard of living. He used to be a good player when we were just timid fish, but now he's a donk. The kind of player who thinks if you bet small you have to have it (and if it's big you have to be bluffing), he's raising marginal holdings for information etc. Before the last 2 months he dropped an average of 2 buyins a night, which I can live with, but now he's running bad, tilting because of it and loses his allowance every Sunday.

What should I do? I can't just tell he's a donk and no longer invite him because he's just giving it all away, he's too proud and I would lose my friend. Still I think I should do something, he's my friend, and not fun to play with when he's tilting. Poker is about +EV blabla but the stakes are so small I'd rather have a good night playing. (If this was a casino and a unknown I'd take his money without any thought.) Furthermore he's getting into some debt with me and the other winning player.

The question I'm asking isn't if I should tell him, I made up my mind about that. But how can I bring it up? (Playing w/o him knowing wouldn't work, softplaying him is just a scam.)
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02-27-2012 , 02:08 PM
How educated is he in hold em?

I also hold a micro-stakes NLHE cash game twice a month (.05/.10 with max buy in of $10). It's a great excuse to get together with some chums, drink, and have a good time. Until recently, I've been overlooking what else my low stakes game is perfect for: a learning experience. I'm a complete noob, only been playing regularly for about 8 months, and a lot of my crowd is in the same boat. My personal goal for hosting the game was to learn and become comfortable enough to play in a casino some day. The group was excited to gamble and have a good time though, so my goals were sidetracked (I'd say) for the first couple months. The change was gradual, but we're now analyzing a couple hands a night after they've been played, and that alone has improved play, and it hasn't effected the good time at all. I'd like to make it even more a learning experience, but I don't know if that's what my regulars want out of the game.

For your buddy: You seem worried about him. You should talk to him, for sure, but I wouldn't make it a big deal or anything, not like a "sit down" talk after a game. Just show up at his place one day with a copy of harrington on hold em or something. Let him know your not raggin on his play, but you just want to help him out. "This really helped my game," sort of thing. Good luck dude.
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02-27-2012 , 03:30 PM
I can always find more Poker, but in my life, Friends are more rare.

I am going to rant just a little here - because I'm a bit of a geezer and that is what we do. Please take this in the manner in which it is intended. I find it a little frustrating that sometimes the most simple solutions are overlooked because people are afraid to just freaking talk to each other. Too many times people are so afraid of conflict that they avoid social interaction. I blame the Internet.

If he really is a friend then the friendship can stand a blunt discussion about your concerns. If he can't handle that sort of discussion, then maybe he wasn't that good of a friend in the first place.

Talk to him. And if he still doesn't get it - Quit the game. No real friendship is worth a few Euros. Just as I wouldn't sit at a bar watching my friend turn into an alcoholic - I'd hate have to be sitting at a Poker Table watching my friend develop a gambling problem. I'd rather drink or play elsewhere. Perhaps that would help him realize how important his well-being is to you.
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02-27-2012 , 03:33 PM
+1 well said.


I wouldn't want to be talked about, and would much prefer direct conversation. Yeah, I might get upset at first, but if I'm honest with myself, I'll thank you later.

Good Luck.
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02-28-2012 , 02:03 PM
Thanks for the advice!
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02-28-2012 , 06:26 PM
I was in a similiar situation. We were hanging out one day (not playing) and I just told him I finished a very helpful book that was pretty specific to our game and he should borrow it. I gave it to him. He didn't come the next few games by his own doing. He came back. Wasn't great but at least he had some grasp of the game. He is still a losing player but not nearly like he was before. That may have to do with better brm or his overall analysis of hands is no longer 'damn he sucked out' to 'how could I have played better?'
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02-28-2012 , 08:05 PM
If he enjoys poker or is interested in improving just talk too him outside of the game about interesting hands or specific spots, if he hears your thought process on these spots and how it is deeper then his he will start thinking deeper himself. And then once he starts thinking more about it you can introduce him to some higher level stuff and if he wants to learn it he will

If he doesn't want to improve i would just come out and tell him how i feel about the amount he is losing
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03-03-2012 , 10:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pot Odds RAC
I can always find more Poker, but in my life, Friends are more rare.

I am going to rant just a little here - because I'm a bit of a geezer and that is what we do. Please take this in the manner in which it is intended. I find it a little frustrating that sometimes the most simple solutions are overlooked because people are afraid to just freaking talk to each other. Too many times people are so afraid of conflict that they avoid social interaction. I blame the Internet.

If he really is a friend then the friendship can stand a blunt discussion about your concerns. If he can't handle that sort of discussion, then maybe he wasn't that good of a friend in the first place.

Talk to him. And if he still doesn't get it - Quit the game. No real friendship is worth a few Euros. Just as I wouldn't sit at a bar watching my friend turn into an alcoholic - I'd hate have to be sitting at a Poker Table watching my friend develop a gambling problem. I'd rather drink or play elsewhere. Perhaps that would help him realize how important his well-being is to you.
This. Pretty much what I was thinking. Smart guy ^
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