(mods please do not move MTTC are the only ppl that can relate imo)

Sorry this is kinda long and a little embarrassing. I'll try to keep it short.

In the two years since I went 'pro' I ONLY played MTT's and it help build me (and my family) a great lifestyle, I paid off all my families debts, loaned them all money, bought all of us a new house, etc, etc.
At the same time I was suffering from anxiety and depression, which now I know was obv from poker, I quit everything from caffeine to cigarettes, yet the depression was still there.
About two months ago I gave cash games a try, I figured it would help me in two ways I can make a few hundreds/thousands a day and at the same time not have to grind all day and miss out on all daily activities.
At about the same time (for those that wan't to dig up old threads) I was going to the casino more and more, playing craps for very large amounts of $, I even remember after cashing for a little over 20k at the PCA I dropped 6k playing craps about 3 hours later, I knew this would all lead to an epic downfall but yet I still did it.
This all brings me to a week ago, I booked my trip to vegas (for wsop) last week, I was all packed up and prepared but before the trip, which was supposed to be yesterday, I decided to go to the local casino one last time (saturday), I don't want to give out exact $ amounts but I lost so much that I even over-drafted on my bank account for 2k.
Then I figured let me give some higher stakes online cash games a try to chase the money I lost in the casino, for those of you that are private investigators im not rolled for 2/4 and 5/10 plo, this was a bad idea cause I busted my whole online roll (for the first time in about 3 years).
I cancelled my trip to vegas and now I am at home trying to figure out my life, my $ consist of a little under 25k, I don't have nothing online and I have to make some serious decisions.
Do I start grinding MTT's again and build my roll back up to the 6 figures I once had and at the same time go through the emotional tolls of anxiety and depression? or do I go back to work and deal with all sorts of b.s just to make $100 a day?
Right now I have no interest in playing, not even slightly yet I want to chase all the money i've lost, but I won't.
So basically what I'm looking for is ideas, thoughts from past experiences, similar situations and just anybodys two cents, I would appreciatte it if we can all be serious for once as I already deal with depression and the smallest things right now can just make me do something drastic.

It sounds like poker wasn't the healthiest career choice to begin with, and you ignored the signs for a long time. Unfortunately it took something like this to make you realize it.

You've got money saved and hopefully some other sort of skill that you could use to find work. There's an old thread on here where a guy reminisces of his 3 years as a pro, and how MM once said that after 3 years you'll know if you're cut out for this profession. That OP decided he wasn't. Maybe you need to make a similar realization.

Or reload

Yeah this isn't a life and death situation.

Get a job and quit poker.

go back to work. if you don't want to play then you're definitely not going to play well dude.

also, consider getting help from GA (not kidding)

at this rate you're going to blow everything you still have going for you in your life. (family, house etc).

seriously, drop out and get help.

Use this money, go on a nice vacation for a week or so, relax for the rest of the month, and reevaluate how you feel. If after a month you feel ready to get back into poker, go back to how you were successful, tournaments. Block access to cash games so you cant tilt it off like you did this time. If you arent ready to play poker, look for a job, but overall take life easy and dont stress as much

this be a man and get a job to support your family

12/36 180s...lots of volume=can make like 5k a month or more with 100 games a day and a 15% roi

Or go get a job

Go to work for a year and deal with all the bad things there and then you'll realize how great poker was and you'll be primed to return to the tables.

You have to learn these things the hard way.

Seriously, if your discipline is failing you, poker will not work out for you. Get a job and learn it the hard way. The games will be waiting for you to return.

not to be the azz. but i read your other post. You definitely have a gambling issue. It seems you lost a shyt load playing craps... Why would you play a game where you lose in the long run?

It seems that your a mid to high stakes mtt player. Dont play cash games that are worth way more than what your used to playing for.

Also my bankroll is similar to yours and im grinding 20s and up as well.

I have some pretty bad stress issues as well.


Maybe you should try getting a staking deal with someone. That way you'll still have 25k to live on.
poker isn't for everyone. Take a week vacation-talk to your family and stay positive. Money isnt everything.

in this order:
1) block all online accounts
2) give wife all access to your money, close your bank account, get on a daily allowance
3) get a GA sponsor (usually gambling addicts are also addicted to other things, i wont get into that, but seek getting a sponsor and into a program)
4) get a psychiatrist
5) get a job

If poker and gambling are actually the cause of your depression and anxiety, I suggest you stop. Call gamblers anonymous or something. Otherwise, I suggest you try to fix the underlying anxiety and depression before taking on an endeavor as psychologically taxing as poker.

I guess the good thing about periods of depressive ruminations is that eventually you come out of them with a somewhat different perspective. The main advice I would give to you (and maybe one day I will follow it myself and not want to stick a gun in my mouth every time I make a terrible mistake at poker) is to constantly focus on improving and learning from your mistakes instead of mindlessly beating yourself up over them. As Tupac said, "look to my future cause my past is all behind me."

This is as serious as I care to be. Good luck.

.

Or he could just convert all of his $$$ to $T, so they he can't tilt off in cash games and avoid live casinos with the lure of the crap tables.

Seriously, there are other ways around this.

tl;dr

EDIT: time to start waiting tables, bro

EDIT2: plo is too swingy cut that **** out after craps

I don't think anyone who is capable of losing so much money playing craps that he overdrafts his bank account should be making a living gambling. It's been said 10x already but get to GA, get a job, and get your life together. If you were some single guy my advice might be different, but if you are supporting a family you need to just man up and get a job.

yea, cause hes in good state of mind to play poker.
some people just dont get it.
and calling it life and death really isnt a huge exaggeration, as many people do turn to suicide after donking off all their money.

however, as we have seen, op loves attention. this isnt the first post of this nature that we have seen. i do fear for op's family, and his health and safety. he should immediately stop gambling and seek professional help (not the help of a message board).

play me hu 4 rollz

best post you've ever made!

Just to be clear, if you have a real job, that means you can't play craps?

I'm not looking for attention, I'm looking for help, I have a family to support

25k is a lot if you had $25 left you'd be in a tougher spot

This is number one, or at least it should be.

If you're serious about this being your priority, then go back to work and deal with all sorts of b.s just to make $100 a day.

Poker is not for everybody. Sounds like it's not for you.

OT

(it's not for me either, as a living. It's a hobby, that's it. Might be a good hobby for you, but as it stands you've proven to yourself that it's harmful, not helpful, to you.)

your post before pca was quite similar, and you still havent seen a professional?
and if you have a family to support, maybe getting a job would be a good first step.

this...if you cant make it pop with 12k of that 25k then you really should get a job