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06-27-2018 , 03:02 PM
Nope. Actually, hell no. Im not posting anything in OOT in regards to my writing.
I'll post the chapters here after completion.

Again, the point is to keep my mind busy and active and enjoy doing something.
The point is absolutely not to be trolled, mocked, discouraged, or try to write some great book and have everyone tell me how I'm doing it wrong and I can't do it.
It's to be therapeutic and just doing something for myself to bring me some enjoyment and peace of mind.

I would love commentary and ideas here though, only with the understanding that this is supposed to be something enjoyable to me. The second the joy gets sucked out of it, I'll be done posting it here.
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06-27-2018 , 03:03 PM
jermakin,

Just spoiler everything you post to be safe.
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06-27-2018 , 05:09 PM
Yeah, write because you like to. No other good reason.

I think you'll find the folks here (house of blogs) will give you solid constructive criticism. Or not say anything.
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06-27-2018 , 05:22 PM
If you're serious about the novel, you should look at doing National Novel Writing Month in November. They've set up a great structure and support system to crank out 50,000 words in a month. The tracking tools and stuff seem right up your alley: https://nanowrimo.org/
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06-27-2018 , 05:26 PM
Yeah a friend of mine does that every year and he loves the progress graphs and stats.
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06-27-2018 , 06:03 PM
That looks really intriguing. Thanks for posting the link!
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06-29-2018 , 11:56 AM
Spoiler:
The MLYLT 3 steps to success.*

(1) Think of a goal.
(2) Tell everyone about that goal.
(3) Repeat.

*Success here is defined as deluding or distracting yourself sufficiently to avoid facing difficulties head-on.
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06-29-2018 , 01:17 PM
Spoiler:
Rapini
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06-29-2018 , 04:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeLoveYouLongTime
Yay! Just got a huge thumbs up from my bosses boss on a project I've been working on the last couple of months at work. I've come up with plans to save this company 5000x my salary lol. This is just what I've needed after a roller coaster manic high/low week.
I am genuinely curious. What kind of plan did you come up with that saves your company presumably a few hundred million dollars? And why does it only garner only a thumbs up?
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06-29-2018 , 04:37 PM
Note: I'm purposefully being vague.

I just dug through a lot of data...and I mean A LOT to pinpoint several specific areas to save on materials. The plan just reorganized a few things to allow for the savings. Not some big idea at all, just no one thought to do it before.

I'm sure upper management in our plant saw some of the savings in their bonuses ( including my boss lol). I dunno why just a thumbs up, maybe people are greedy and there is a personnel budget and they would rather have a larger bonus than distribute to people below them.
I got a raise, so I'm not really worried about it.
I of course asked for a larger raise from my boss than the one I got in April (because why not). She said she would asked the plant manager about it, but I knew she wouldn't partly because she doesn't like me and morsoe that she doesn't have a backbone or an ounce of courage/initiative and is scared to do anything.
I did speak with the now plant manager last month about my salary and his initial response was that I make more than the other engineers and I make a good salary for the industry. Im going to practice some negotiation tatics and get back with him. Mid year reviews are coming up and I've done some other cost savings things that I will use when I ask for another raise.
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06-30-2018 , 10:22 AM
Do you have quantifiable results of the money saved, can you give them an idea of the likely future savings from plans not implemented yet?

The more you can put a dollar figure on it the more leverage you have. Maybe they can change your job title / description slightly so that you don't bust the engineer's pay grade, maybe you get your own unique role.

You might even get out from under the boss...
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06-30-2018 , 12:45 PM
I can see that happening a few years down the road, but the structure now is pretty rigid. I need to put together the results and I have been meaning to for the past 3months. I just haven't had the time and it's kind of been a whirlwind. I should just spend a weekend and get it done before the reviews. There is a hiring freeze and a lot of changes happening right now, so I probably won't get another raise this year. It looks like they are setting up to sell the company again and they have been eliminating different positions throughout mid/upper management...boss^2 becoming my partner.
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06-30-2018 , 12:57 PM
This week was a really unique experience at work. The plant manager of 45 years with the company retired. A lot of people spoke during a ceremony whom had been there with him throughout and it was really heartwarming, enlightening. All of these people have been there 30+ years, like 90% of the people at my location. They have all spent their entire lives together; it just seems like they are big family. It was a hightened emotional week for everyone.

There are 6 of us new/youngins with >10 experience, all in our early 30's. The atmosphere between us throughout the week was really interesting. We were all kinda talking more and working with each other more. One guy showed some vulnerability with me for the first time, the guy that wants to be left alone stayed late to help me with something and came to me for help with something yesterday, and another guy was being weirdly friendly with me. The older people were all acting extra grandparenty toward us throughout the week as well, like this is your lives, these are the people you are going to spend it with.

Last edited by MeLoveYouLongTime; 06-30-2018 at 01:04 PM.
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06-30-2018 , 02:54 PM
sounds like things are running better! how nice it must be to look forward to going to work everyday
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06-30-2018 , 04:02 PM
So I have mostly been outlining the story and coming up with the details of the setting.
I just started actually writing today. This is what I have so far....

Spoiler:
He sat with his back against the wall of the Hirm, floating, floating in the unwavering glow of the anieikas. The glow flowed through the burg like warm honey on the hive delineating the curves of the smooth, white stones. It ebbed with the wind as the crimson silks caressed the walls and the realmscape caressed his mind. It was the beginning of the short Haya.
The vision of short Haya called to him every year like the irreproachable goddess calls to you with the smile in her eyes. He could reach for the anieikas, they would call to him, but he would never be close enough to know their mysteries. His ideas of what they were, what they possessed, their secrets, their beauty kept him longing for the short Haya. He would have three months to drink the glow before the fire of the goddesses would be smothered and he would have to accept their smoke and the heat of the Haya. This was the year of his pleasure pairings and entrance into the Hirmgadam. Though it held its own anticipated mysteries to be discovered, it didn’t call to him. The other Sittats were filled with anticipation and excitement, he
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07-03-2018 , 09:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatthejish
If you're serious about the novel, you should look at doing National Novel Writing Month in November. They've set up a great structure and support system to crank out 50,000 words in a month. The tracking tools and stuff seem right up your alley: https://nanowrimo.org/
They are running a "summer camp" right now https://campnanowrimo.org/
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07-04-2018 , 08:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeLoveYouLongTime
Nope. Actually, hell no. Im not posting anything in OOT in regards to my writing.
I'll post the chapters here after completion.

Again, the point is to keep my mind busy and active and enjoy doing something.
The point is absolutely not to be trolled, mocked, discouraged, or try to write some great book and have everyone tell me how I'm doing it wrong and I can't do it.
It's to be therapeutic and just doing something for myself to bring me some enjoyment and peace of mind.

I would love commentary and ideas here though, only with the understanding that this is supposed to be something enjoyable to me. The second the joy gets sucked out of it, I'll be done posting it here.
If bolded were really important to you, then you wouldn't post it here either. OOT posters will be able to read it and post about it. And whether their posts are here or over in OOT, you will absolutely read them.

Good luck. Finishing a novel is hard.
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07-04-2018 , 10:32 PM
do you love me, too?
Your emoji showed up as a laughing face in the app and i thought you were making fun of what i wrote lol.

Gregorio,
I signed up today, but writing 1400 words a day seems impossible. Maybe it will boost how much I write each day and keep me focused. The cabin groups sound fun, and it will be nice to meet some new people.
I have no idea about a bio for myself. Any ideas or input? Believe it or not, I feel weird posting a new profile pic on FB and I feel that same weirdness writing a bio. If you write something, I could just copy it over.

Melk,
You are right. But, I would like to post it here as my happy place and I feel like the OOTers have moved on and I'm pretty safe.
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07-04-2018 , 10:39 PM
I think I have the first chapter done. Its slow going lol. I didn't intend on Kanshin and Carlina being friends, but it kind of makes sense for what will be revealed about Carlina later on.

The main characters are Kanshin(male), Kuehb(male-antagonis), Adasi(female), Carlina(female), Juska(male-antagonist), Kamoana(female).

I'd appreciate any feedback.... kinda flying blind with really no clue to what I'm doing.

Spoiler:
Chapter 1:

He sat with his back against the wall of the Hirm, floating, floating in the unwavering glow of the anieikas. The blue glow flowed through the burg like warm honey on the hive delineating the curves of the smooth, white stones. It ebbed with the wind as the crimson silks caressed the walls and the realmscape caressed his mind. It was the beginning of the short Haya.
The southwest wall on the second flat of the Hirm was his favorite perch. He could see the ogival arches encapsulating the center of the burg, the orchards to the south, and the pools to the west mirroring the expanse and holding the anieikas like precious gym stones in their depths. The perch allowed for all of the beauty of the burg to be taken in without endeavor.
The vision of short Haya called to him every year like the irreproachable goddess calls to you with the smile in her eyes. He could reach for the anieikas, they would call to him, but he would never be close enough to know their mysteries. His ideas of what they were, what they possessed, their secrets, their beauty kept him longing for the short Haya. He would have three months to drink the glow before the fire of the goddesses would be smothered and he would have to accept their smoke and the heat of the Haya. This was the year of his love pairings and entrance into the Hirmgadam. Though it held its own anticipated mysteries to be discovered, it didn’t call to him, he couldn’t garner the same excitement of the other Sittats.
As he let the glow intoxicate him as it had done for all the short Hayas he could remember, he pondered who his pairing would be. Would it be a pairing or pairings he wondered. The pairings were determined at birth, but the law code allowed for adjustments to be made if the Mudars had strong convictions from their observations or if the Sittats themselves requested an additional pairing. Only three Sittats were allowed in a single pairing and the original paring could never be broken as it was irrefutably determined through the genetic map to be the strongest link. He already had a mistress, though he could indulge in the pleasure, he knew he could not share his heart.
“KANSHIN, KANSHIN…. wake up and walk me back to the Taealam, I know you’re up there.”
Carlina’s squeal pulled him from his reverie. He reluctantly pulled himself up and climbed over the wall and down the pilaster using the foot holes he spent an entire short Haya carving when he finally had the strength to climb. While his perch isn’t secret, only he could reach the span of the foot holes. As early as his eighth short Haya he towered over the others like the sequies towered over the soft stones.
“Always hiding with your head in the mush. Why aren’t you with the others at the Taealam making your bets?”
“I could ask the same of you.”
“You would get exactly zero percent of the pairings right anyway, you probably have no idea about your own pairing.” “Ooow, who do you want. Tell me. Oh please tell me Kan.”
“Well, definitely not you. Who is the quietest?”
He grabbed her shoulder and pulled her head to his armpit and gave her hair a tug. They had all grown together in the Taealam, physical contact was forbidden by the law code until you became a Sittat, but it wasn’t foreign to Kanshin and Carlina. They both escaped the Taealam as soon as they knew there was no real punishment in doing so. He to explore, dream, admire, and to plan his escape as a Shujae, and she to do her own exploring and dreaming. They first ran into each other in their tenth short Haya, they never spoke of their adventures, but they had a bond in the understanding that neither of them wanted to be questioned. They held each other’s secret as if holding onto their own dreams. Though there was no foreseeable punishment, there was still internal reprimand of disappointing the Mudars. That was the only fear, disappointing the Dreamers. First there was the inability to know you could break the law code not knowing what the consequences might be and that was enough to keep you chained to the code, then there was the realization that the consequence was a betrayal to the Dreamers, a betrayal to yourself.
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07-05-2018 , 02:37 PM
Why did you pick such names for the character? Somewhat unpleasant to keep track of and constantly read, imo.
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07-05-2018 , 05:38 PM
Thanks for reading it Big.
The meanings of their names are supposed to represent an eve symbolic for who they are or who they will become. I really like Adasi, Kuehb, and Juska but I could simplify the others I guess.
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07-05-2018 , 11:10 PM
I feel like you're trying to immerse the reader in this strange new world, which is cool, but you're throwing a lot of strange names and concepts at them at once. I read those first few sentences and I'm like "Hirm? Anieikas? Haya?" and I'm already lost.

I think it's better to introduce this stuff slowly. Describe it first in normal terms and let the characters speak the language and make it obvious what they're referring to. "Oh I thought I'd find you here by the Hirm," that kind of thing.

Some purely expository stuff is fine, like the part starting with "They had all grown together...", but you still have to stop and explain some of those concepts. What/where is the Taealam? What is a Sittat and and how do you become one? Where does this Shujae concept come in?

I would stretch out this chapter a lot. Have more dialogue between the characters and plain English descriptions of what's going on, and really pace the explanatory stuff with the foreign concepts. Have some of it come in the form of characters' thoughts or memories, other parts can be straight-up narrator.
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07-05-2018 , 11:59 PM
To be fair, that worked for Dune - but it helps to have a character that’s a “newcomer” to whatever strange world you’re trying to introduce
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07-06-2018 , 12:04 AM
Agree with GMan. What you have is about 2-3 pages in a standard paperback book, hardly a full chapter, so there should be plenty of room to flesh this stuff out. But do it gradually as the plot requires it, not just as a brain-dump on page 1 with a bunch of made-up words and foreign concepts that nobody's going to understand.

Start with the characters and their immediate situation. Make the reader care about them and be interested in what's going to happen to them next. Explore the world through their eyes when it's necessary to explain their motivations. There's basically zero plot so far other than an annoying conversation that doesn't go anywhere and just leaves me wishing for both of these characters to be killed off in chapter 2.
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