It's all crack.. Don't play video poker or gamble.

That is not crazy. The first step to get grip on that is on the rational basis truly understand if you are + EV or -EV. You should be able to explain very systematically why you think, that you are + EV and when exactly. I totally get that you on deep core really think that you can win. It makes no sense to try to stop you or change the emotion of this. Because that plain ain't gonna happen. But what you can do is to try rationally calculate and present why you think that video poker can be +EV.

I mean I am not sure what your background is and how much you really get what EV is at all. ???? Do you understand that it doesn't matter you hitting high wins once in a while?

I had a short look here into forum other gambling games. The guys there discuss something along the lines that with matches and bonuses and all perks you can get at a casino, it can be +EV to play a game that is in itself -EV.

I am pretty sure that video poker and any game that you play against a casino is in itself -EV. Agree? Do you see why it must be so, without any calcultions?

Can you calculate your EV in video poker based on pay-out table?

I have no idea. But since I know that you won't just stop, you can as well try to really understand what you are doing.

I am sorry if that sounds boring and high nosed, but I truly believe that that is a first step on the way out of the destructive gambling.

Sunday Funday

I really feel like cutting lose today and driving to lake and OK to play 2-5. I want to touch some cards and chips!

I'll just make my mom and sister pay if I **** up and lose all my money for rest of the month. Just harass them with my problems.

Have not decided.

Maybe I'll just clean up the house and get organized for hell Monday. I hate going to work all ****ed up and tired

There is also a worthless meeting at 4:00 Pm
Blah blah blah
My name **** wad and im a compulsive gambler

Just did some laps (more than 3 Lapka )

Got that workout high. I feel like I can conquer the universe



Bring it on... I will slay all my problems

https://mobile.twitter.com/crazypoke...557376/video/1

wow and I thought video poker was for suckers. you must really know what you're doing to be better at the game than the machine. you're like some kind of super genius, or maybe you have different superpowers like telekinesis or future sight. anyway great job and keep up the hard work!

Don't know......Somehow OP makes me sad.

Get voicemail

"Stacey I'm on my way to the meeting!"

I hear Lapka voice in my head

"Gogogoggo"

Yeah this is terrible

after the meeting

Lover959 "hey Tom, check out my new ride"

Tom "nice, good thing you bought this now, given your situation. Hey what's that in the passenger seat? Is that a scratch off!?"

Lover959 "yes"

Tom "when did you buy that?!"

Lover 959 "yesterday"

Tom "did you resestablish your clean time?! I forgot the date you told us"

Lover 959 "I said July 23!" ..... Mofo

I'm getting sick of these judgmental mofos... This **** ain't working

It is not the question of what people around you think. It is a question if you yourself think, that it is working how it is.

And I know that you 100% emotionally think that it could work. From your reaction at my suggestion to estimate the EV of the video poker I assume that you have a very cloudy idea of what EV is. You basically have no clue. Am I right?

You do a plenty of really dumb stuff. And I get that it does not work like: Admitting that I do dumb stuff. Stop doing dumb stuff. But, hell!, take the steps this direction. Don't you get that NO ONE, REALLY NO ONE, is impressed by your car? No chick worth ****ing is impressed by it. EVERYBODY, who has 3 brain cells together, sees your car as dumb stuff.

And don't get all defensive. There is no environment where you find less judgmental people, especially with regards to gambling, than on 2+2.

Hell, do something. Learn what EV is!

edit: I have thought about what smart things have you done in the last 48 hours. In this blog I find two: swimming, going to GA meeting. Props for that. Try to build something bigger on that.

Monday

Back on track

Friday was just a "stutter step"



Going to bust my ass at work this week before my vacation

Text to Ronald

Lover959 "well you help me buy a birthday present for my nephew?"

Lover959 "I'm behind on my electric bill"

Purrty night

https://mobile.twitter.com/crazypoke...651393/video/1

attention attention


I'm calling pokersesh in 5 min!!

https://www.twitch.tv/liveatthebike/mobile

Can't sleep ..

Good therapy. This will help me fall asleep

http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/all-...?autoplay=true

Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato

Everybody was super old at tonight's meeting but when they opened their mouths it was like a room full of philosophers.

Tonight's therapy podcast to fall asleep to.

Story of female gambling addict
http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/bhat...de-14-39981135

female voice is soothing during recovery

Fuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!!!

Stressing out.... Just have to remain calm. This is third meeting about to miss cuz of some random ****. This time it's gas leak middle of rush hour.

Pull over to what looks like a nice sushi joint. It's horrible!

Filed chapter 13 this month. 1800 dollar payment due Friday. I'm ****ing bankrupt! It's official. New York loan shark mafia notified to. Come and get me ****ers!

Dish washer broke, garage broke, 5k in property taxes due in 3 months. Boss shunning me.

Ok maybe food not that bad ...



Waitress keeps eyeballing me... I can make meeting still. Just got tab!

****ing cool Urli is in meeting. Many good people in here. They will save my life.