Gorilla and Ventura with the reminder that they aren't a bunch of idiot Michael Cole rubes; they're experienced grapplers in their own right-- "they didn't have tights like that when we were in the ring, did they Jessie."
The most impressive thing to me about the boringness of Jake vs. Rude is that it bored me so thoroughly as a kid that I didn't even get through the first watch; I remember watching the never-ending reverse chinlock through those fast-forward tracking lines.
Mind you, "boring" matches were barely a thing to me as a kid. I loved WM IV because it was one hour longer than the rest, and more wrestling equaled better. But Jake vs. Rude became an automatic fast-forward each time, and I think I only ever made me sit through it fully as an adult.
Okay, with this year's actual WM just ending, my final thoughts are as follows:
The older WMs had things sprinkled throughout the show that made it feel different than every other show. People in tuxedos, or wrestlers that usually wore trunks in suits or alternate outfits, and BACKSTAGE interviews.
These days, every show feels exactly the same, and Vince has taken a lot of what pro wrestling great out of the mix altogether.