The fact that you would even think this is revealing.
It's fine to be a nice guy, but you did nothing to induce the other guy's mistake, and taking advantage of it is just good play. Even if you were originally planning to lead out here (?!), once he acted OOT the situation had changed, and you certainly had the right to react. Not your fault, and no reason to penalize yourself and play sub-optimally.
Effectively, what you did was to softplay someone who seemed "friendly enough" , and to think of playing optimally only to punish someone who's "an ****** ".
This isn't a good way to succeed in poker. You seem to think that a large part of the game is punishing some players and being nice to others. But you are not the Masked Avenger.
I would advise you to stop making this kind of distinction in how you play vs. different people, except perhaps in the most extreme cases... (and maybe not even then).

I'll get bashed here, but...

I play poker as an intellectual diversion. I certainly like money, but I also a nice guy.


I likely allow the out of turn action to happen, I likely check-raise, but I also likely suggest as politely as I can that, unless he's prepared to lose the rest of his chips, that he fold. Does this possibly cost me $219 plus or minus "nice old guy" hitting something on the end? [Ignoring that AA is drawing dead.] Possibly.


I feel like, in this situation, that I've hit my opponent SOFTLY with a hard stick. I took his $150 on a procedural issue. I'm good with that.


I'll be your chump.

I check 100% of the time. If you want to debate check/call or check/raise, I'm OK with either line depending on circumstances.

I was in a pot, 4 way action, with 2nd nuts and after 2 checks to me, the 4th guy bet OOT. I asked for clarification, and checked when I knew the action had to stand. Ended up raking a very nice pot Was thinking about betting out, when he bet OOT, I took advantage, would do so again.

THIS!!!

I've done similar things on a smaller scale in home games and games amongst friends, but not a chance in hell I let someone off if Im out playing somewhere public.

Now I can respect the high moral ethics that you showed in this spot. Lord knows we could use more of that in life these days, but I learned the first or second time playing out somewhere that the poker table is no place for this. Probably everyone else at that table or any table would have check-raised your ass for all it was worth had the roles been reversed......Including the old man.

Now this is also one of those spots where house rules vary. At all three of the poker clubs that I play at the most, his money would have been commited to the pot NO MATTER if action had changed in front of him or not. I can't blame you for trying to be friendly, especially to an older person, but if making money is your number one priority then that was a bad move.

A check/raise would have been fine etiquette and optimal poker. You shouldnt feel guilty about making the nuts and busting KK-AA. You should be feeling a sense of joy when you see him firing out chips. A quick check when dealer said action was really on you and that villain acted oot should do the trick. You should feel like you are the cobra: a beast staying low and quiet until your prey has exposed himself and in a spot where he can not retreat; then you strike and take his stack. I always get a sense of satisfaction from this-plus you really dont want to be playing 56s OOP to a 7x pf raise unless you are getting his whole stack.

I seem to remember reading Doyle Brunson explaining that being nice to someone at the poker table isn't being nice to them at all. If you are nice to them they are not hurt by their mistakes in the short term, which will hurt them much more in the long term.

On the other hand, has anyone considered the possibility that the old guy was betting out of turn to gain information? He was in a multi way pot with a strong hand that goes down in value in multi way pots. If it was clear you were going to bet, he gains a ton of information if you decide to 'check' and let him bet.

If he had let you bet in turn, even if you put out the same size bet he did, he would know he was probably going to wind up playing for all his chips, either by shoving himself then, or having to call again on the river--in what could still be a three way pot. By betting out of turn he learns if the third player has a strong enough hand to face two eager, out of position bettors, and he has an easy fold if he gets anything but a fold from the third person and a call from you.

I agree that this could be a possibility, but at most 1-3 games I doubt there's many people that are thinking to angle shoot like this. Of course, it is absolutely possible, as all I takes is one sneaky thinking old guy to make it happen.

You should not have bet...it is that player's mistake and he should pay for it. Don't be so nice in the future!

OP , please understand that this is casino poker for money. Unless you are on a ultra super heater, you only get a few chances in a session to take down large pots, and you lose a lot of them to variance. When the poker Gods offer up a deal like this you must exploit it fully. You did not cheat, nor act in any way without ethics. He made a mistake in your favor at a crucial time and you let him off the hook for "concience reasons" I gather. You must change your attitude or quit playing for money with strangers!

The breach of etiquette occurred when he bet out of turn. There are a thousand different ways you can interpret him making that move (from accident to intimidation), but in my line of thinking: "There are no friends at the poker table."

It might have been nice of you to make your bet, but I would have checked, and then reraised after.

I guess it all comes down to:

"Are you trying to make money, or are you just playing for fun?"

Then again, I once lured my then girlfriend into shoving into my made Aces full (A9 on AA9 flop) with her AK, so what do I know about ethics? Lol.

I still got laid either way.

The only time it can be a breach of etiquette is if you take a deliberately long time with the intention of getting the other players to act behind you first.
Checkraise and feel fine, he was going to bet if you checked anyway.

Check then recheck the turn.