Tell you they were in nam and can snap your pencil neck:

One codger told me he had a tell on me and knew when I was going to play my hand. He was sitting to my left. I said, "oh, you noticed I put chips in the pot when I was gonna play. SOULREADER AT THIS TABLE!" then I got the "just keep on laughing punk" speech.

Yesterday a fish went Ai and was called ai by a nitty reg. I showed the nit my hand before I folded. A fossil went ape**** demanding to see the hand because the ALL IN nit now had more info. He called the floor and demanded the hand be retrieved. It took literally 15 min. For him to understand the nit got no info he could use. Then I got the "pull that crud again and well have a problem punk" speech.

Guy gets mad b/c I don't show my hand after 3 barreling when he folds river, because evidently I'm the only person in the cardroom that doesnt show their hand after winning a pot. Then proclaims "I work for a living, unlike you".

o_0

pretty tame I guess. I'm usually the quietest at the table because everyone in my games likes talking poker strat and I don't. So I don't rile em up like limon does

Talking poker strat is
The best. I always try to stear it around to why I hate jacks.

I always get the "I've been playing this game before you were born/thought of." But I get the best lines when I tell them I don't chop lol.

"Think you can beat a 12BB/100 handicap HUHU, punk?"

I had an even worse thing happen (but with no old guys involved). I had limped behind someone in early position with 77, some stupid donktard raises behind me and the first limper shoves. I mumble something to him and flash my hand before throwing it towards the muck. The donktard demands to see my hand, the dealer immediately exposes it, and somehow I am the only one at the table who understands that the idiot donktard just got a bunch of information that he was not entitled to and that showing an all-in player your hand is completely meaningless.

The donk continued to lecture me all through the next hand about how bad it is to expose your hand before the action is complete which was hilariously ironic when he was the only player who saw anyone else's cards while still having action left.

I like the geezers. They usually give me a stack in the cash game on tilt when I flop middle set vs top pair. They are my friend$.

This almost made me cry. I really suffer with you. I don't usually tilt, but now I'm glad I have no game going on.

I presume there were no other players left who could have read the face of the first limper, who you showed your cards to? If not, then the "donktard" should have used that information to his advantage and let it stay by that, maybe giving a verbal statement against the conduct. Demanding to see the cards and really get to do it, not to forget about the lecture afterwards, is a classical example of stupidity/douchebaggery that make us believe in humanity a little less.

Heads up poker is not even poker and it is not any fun to play.........

I knew you had AK (after you showdown and you have two pair and the guy has bottom pair).

Also LIMOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN THREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guy raises the turn in position and I fold and feel's the need to show me his KK overpair.

Next hand he asks me what I had and I pretty much ignore him.

"It doesn't have to be like this, we can be friendly and show each other".

Then he gets upset when I don't tell him. Same guy was talking about hiring a poker coach and him and some bad young players were speaking about M ratio and SPR at the table.

Mmmmmmm ...ratio

a lot of this thread is internet whine. you should be social with your customers unless you have a reason not to. since youre whining, you obviously arent talking shiit to these people for a purpose. so if you know you can tilt someone, then fine. otherwise, figure out whats the most +ev way to act. yes, ev comes from more than just the technical aspect of playing a hand properly. i dont like talking poker strat either, but surely you can come up with something to use against these idiots. and yes i know that many oldies are nits and i hate them in the game just as much as the rest, but might as well spend your energy trying to talk them into loosening up or however else you plan to exploit them

fyp

Imo getting creative with chat vs old regs is one of the only ways to stay sane in live poker.

A couple of weeks ago in a 2-5 NL game (Casino del Sol in Tucson). I'm UTG+2 with AsKc, open for 15, folded to min-reraise from button, he has $200 (I cover), I decided to just call. Flop is Q 7 2 all clubs. I check, button checks. Turn is a blank, I check, button bets $50, I check raise him for the rest of his money.

He said "I knew you flopped the flush - I could see it on your face" as he threw his KK into the muck face up. I resisted the temptation to show.

I should add this was not an "old reg" but a "young reg" who likes to regale the table about how good he is at putting people on their exact hand. At least in my limited experience with him though he always seems to leave broke.

At 40k a year in rake I have no
Time to mollycoddle or hustle old nits. They dont really fit in yhe customer category Their only value is entertainment and entertain they do. Verbally sparring w/ a blue hair until he tilt threatens to kill me is my fav lol livesport while getting 30 hands an hour.

The whiny old guys in the games I play in are money sources, not money sinks, so it's in our interest to keep them playing.

I got mocked by this big steroid looking dude in AC this weekend after I raised pre then called a short stack's shove with KQs because I knew I had the proper pot odds against his range of hands and said something to that effect to the guy on my right, whom I had been chatting with throughout the tourney (shover had 66 and I lost the flip). Steroid guy kept asking people about their ranges and sneering at me. I resisted the temptation to tell him that if he didn't understand this basic concept then he obviously sucks and should probably STFU about things he doesn't and probably can't comprehend.

Douches gonna douche at any age. The ones who can't make the plays mock them.

File this under "Dum s*** young internet punks say before they call u a nit and..."

Mum poker, dude! Don't talk strategy at the table.

The guy on my right was pretty cool and we had been talking the entire time about a variety of topics. He said something like "standard call" and I basically just said something like "yeah, can't fold there versus his range". I wasn't discussing strategy with the entire table, let alone with Steroid Guy, and it was a pretty standard spot.

I said nothing to contradict Steroid Guy when he commiserated with another guy about a "donk" who shoved with AK and cracked the other guy's QQ. Even when the other guy complained to me on a break about the "awful" play with AK, I just nodded and agreed.

Finally, I'm not a "dude", I was the only female player at the table.

If I'm not mistaken rj is a girl. If
This is true I honestly believe she can talk strat at the table because no male fish will ever believe she knows anything about poker.

I have noticed that about the big limit games. Old dudes often develop this strat where they lose a bb an hour. In limit this is a fish. In nl it's just an annoyance.

As long as you don't pay them off when they finally make the nuts

It's usually by spiking a 2 outer!

Yes, you NLH players are quite superior and have every right to look down on us poker players.