2 more losing sessions yesterday. I played absolutely great the first session. Only reason I lost was because of this hand.

Reg opens to $10 HJ. I 3bet AK to $41 in SB. HJ calls.

Flop ($85): JTT
I cbet $45. May even be able to go larger on this board. He raises $150. I call. I know he doesn't have a boat. He just has a T almost always, and that T is just never folding.

Turn ($385): 4
I check. He jams for $165. It's a stupid spot where I just have to call it off. Like I said, with this line he just never has a boat, it's Tx a lot of the time, and maybe he could just be spazzing with QQ a non 0% chance.

River ($715): K
He shows QTo. I expect a T, I didn't expect QTo. That's just way too wide against my range, but whatever.

And then in the night, I played with a player I deemed in my chat group as "low mental capacity." I had god seat on him, and he ran like the sun.

-Cold calling a 3bet with J3o....flopped two pair
-Limp/calling Q9ss, and calling a triple barrel on a 753 flop and J turn - to hit a Q on the river
-Limp/call K3o preflop, call double barrel on AK7T runout, and donk leads on 3 river

Along with a hand that just dumbfounds me, even 9 hours later. Button straddles. LMC limps in SB. A brand new player that I suspect doesn't know what's going on raises to $40. Button calls, and LMC calls.

Flop ($120): 338
LMC checks. New player bets $125. Button folds, LMC calls

Turn ($370): A
LMC checks, New player checks

River ($370): 3
LMC bets $125
The new player tanks for 5 minutes. During this 5 minutes, he asks 5 different times how much the bet is. He asks 3 different times what his options are. He then raises to $250.
LMC jams. New player calls.

LMC has 87o?!?!?!?!?!
New player has 77

Another hand: 6 players limp. New player raises to $25 OTB. 5 players call.

Flop ($150): QQ4
Checks around

Turn ($150): 2
Checks to a player in MP who bets $50. LMC calls, new player calls, and BB calls.

River ($350): 2
BB checks. MP bets $75. LMC calls. New player is tanking. Since I have the seat to his right and he is holding his cards awkwardly, I see T8. He thinks about a call.....and then raises to $175!
BB folds
MP calls
LMC now JAMS for $600.
New player folds after some thought
MP folds after showing a 2, and LMC shows Q9o

2 takes from that game last night:

1) How in the world have I only won 3 out of my last 13 sessions playing against competition like this?!?! Including now 2 4-session losing streaks in 2 weeks!
But, most importantly, #2
2) Holy ****. I've chosen a path where the most profitable opportunities are going to come against players that are inebriated. That don't know how the game works. That sometimes don't even have control. That may just be plum, dumb, stupid.
That's not a good realization. I'd rather online poker, where at least I can't see the person. Where they have to make an active effort to search out the site, an active effort to deposit money. They can't just stumble in and give away money they may not be able to afford to lose. It occurs online, yeah. But to a far lesser extent.

Either way, I can't stop now. Here's to hoping I get out of this stupid downswing and stupid losing sequence today!

Remember when I said the situation was dire?

Well........

Loose/passive player limps. I raise 88 to $12 in MP. 4 players call.

Flop ($60): Q T 8
Boom! First set I've made all week. Checks to me. I bet $45. Only the SB calls. New player, seems kind of fishy.

Turn ($150): 6
SB checks. I bet $85. SB calls

River ($320): 6
SB now donks $150. Nah, come on. He can't really have....I call.

He has QQ.



That hand, that happened an hour ago, is the exact summation of these last, dreadful 2 weeks. I left shortly after.

Come out, rarin to go, just to lose my first 3 sessions of the week. The situation went from dire to extreme. I literally have a few buy ins left before I call it quits (again, NOT busto. Just leaving poker forever). I may take a small break. Mentally, I'm just ****ed. 3-11 the last two weeks. I'm grateful these are mostly 4 hour sessions, otherwise it'd be like 3 or 4 weeks with just 3 winning sessions. I don't know how to handle these swings.

The good things I can point out. I know when to quit, I won't completely fail myself, I know I'm just running awful, and, somehow....I'm still in the green for October. Barely, but it's still green.

The month of October was brutal for me with regards to poker. Halfway through the month, I was planning on shot taking a few higher staked games. It was going ok. I had a feeling that the card distribution was forcing me to play fewer hands than I would like.

Then the second half of the month, I went on a 10 buy-in downswing over the course of 14 sessions. A 4 session and a 5 session losing streak in those 14 sessions, and the middle was like 3-2. It came to a climax yesterday when I flopped my first set of the week, only to get boat over boat. I decided then to just not play the rest of the month.

Despite that, I still managed to barely eek out a winning month. By barely eek out, I'm talking less than half of a buy in. I logged 138 hours, which would have been 150 had I finished out my planned schedule. That would have been 10 hours short of my goal of 160, and that's because the middle week of October, I played half of the amount of hours. One day I was setting up a +EV proposition that's starting next month, and the other I had an appointment and was too tired to go in afterwards. Even though I fell short, I'm happy with the volume because I would have gotten the target otherwise.

*Interesting fact: I played 10 sessions on Thursday/Friday this month, and only won 2 of those 10.

For November, I want to aim for 150 hours. 150 and not 160 due to Thanksgiving, a couple of appointments scheduled, and potential tilt time. This short, at least day and a half, break isn't something I want to do. But at the same time, if this losing streak were to get worse, there is no doubt in my mind that my mind would just explode. If I feel like I need another day or two, then that's built into my goals.

Good luck to everyone in November!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the life front, since I did want this to be semi-transparent, I have felt a little additional pressure this last month. That might be a reason that I'm both feeling so ****ty on this downswing, but not wanting to stop playing. My wife and I are expecting our first baby, due in the middle of May, 2019.

This baby is planned, although a little faster than anticipated. It's like we started trying and immediately BAM! she's pregnant. I should have guessed this with my younger brother already having had 4 kids.

Our plan, if I make it, is to have me be a semi-stay-at-home dad. I'd stay home, watch the kid, and play online when I could while she went to work. When she got home, I'd either play live or just continue playing online. Saves literally thousands and thousands of dollars in child card expenses. I just gotta make it there. Gotta fight on for the kid.

Came back from a small break today. Unfortunately, more of the same. Very card dead and when I had opportunities, they had better. Now 12 losses from the last 15 sessions.

It's kind of funny. My mood has been kind of doom and gloom. While away from poker for the 2 or 3 days that I was away, I wanted nothing to do with poker. While playing, it's like there isn't anything I want to do aside from poker. It's kind of like the thought that I read in a book a couple of weeks ago. It's easy to want to continue daily habits when you start them, but once you stop, it's difficult to start back up again. Also, kind of like going to the gym. It's all about keeping a chain going.

Interesting fact too. I had to go back to August 7th-August 11th, 2015 for my last 6 session losing streak, back when I was grinding it up online. In fact, of all of the results that I've saved, this is only the 3rd instance of a 6+ losing streak, the other being 7 in length from April 15th-April 28th, 2015, also online. Nice to take solace in the fact that this streak may not last too much longer (even though theoretically it could - probability be damned!)

I got to the 7 losing session streak mark on Monday, before FINALLY winning a session on Tuesday. And then giving some back later. Then having my largest losing session in 4 months. That sounds bad, but honestly it isn't an insanely large number. Followed today by my largest winning session in 3 months.

This week has been tough on me mentally and emotionally. At times this week, I'd been very nonchalant. Wednesday was especially rough. I don't think I raked a pot in postflop, and this session came after I had FINALLY broken the streak.

One of the more difficult, more common questions I've gotten quite a bit recently has been "You, you play 2/5, right?" My stock answer has and will always be "Yeah, but the game has gotten terrible, so I prefer to stay here." Knowing full and well that, ****, I wish I could be back there.

A lurker did contact me over this week. He got me thinking about life after poker. If I'm being honest with myself, which I think I am, poker isn't going to be a reliable source of good income forever. Hell, in my locale, it's a good source of income for maybe a handful or two of people. And with my current situation (first profitable week since early/mid October!), life after poker may start sooner than anticipated. This has led me to start learning about a different field, and honestly it's pretty ****ing exciting. Why would I start doing this?

1. I hate the hours I'm playing. Poker provides the illusion of freedom. If you want to maximize your "salary", there are specific times you must play. I'm tired of coming home, just to have to leave 3 or 3 1/2 hours later to go back in and play.
2. Benefits that I don't have to pay for are nice.
3. A stable paycheck is worth a lot more than what I thought.
4. I have a kid on the way.
5. I'd kind of like, for the first time ever, to not have to put in hours at home away from work. Yeah, I play 35-40 hours per week, but then I'm studying 10 hours a week at home.
6. My worst days (and stretches) playing poker aren't as bad as my worst days working, and my good poker days feel relieving, not good.

My plan (and hope) is to learn enough in this different field while continuing to play full-time...or close to full time. I'm probably going to study poker very little during this time, and may cut back some hours of play to put them towards learning. After a few months, I'm going to evaluate my options.

You have a kid on the way? I must have missed that update, grats.

Congrats on becoming a father! You're gonna be a great dad!

What field did you start studying?

Thanks! It was up with my EOM update. Posted on facebook as well, but not sure if you've been on there or not.

Thanks!

A poster talked to me about web developing. Coding. Etc. And of the bit that I've studied so far, it reminds me a lot of my favorite part of my last job in HR. Creating excel spreadsheets. And I'm going to take it seriously. Who knows, maybe I do have a massive heater on the way. That'll be nice...for a year. After then, with fewer and fewer larger games? I'm just saying, it's not a bad time to start thinking about the future.

Web development is a really excellent field to get into and it seems like something right up your alley. Oftentimes you can land gigs whereby you can work from home (nice with the kid) and gives you that same freedom poker does - except you quite often do get to pick your own hours, depending on whether you're freelancing/contracting/permy etc.

It also activates that same logical part of the brain poker does, and requires a lot of high level thinking. Developing some functions will fry your brain just as much 4 tabling zoom will. But the advantage coding has is it allows you to be creative, to a degree. Writing beautiful code and developing solutions is often a very creative process and that's something you really miss with Poker.

Also it's possibly the single best industry you could be getting into now... Anything tech, but particularly development and particularly web stuff, will be a career for life and is always in demand.

All the best M8!

Thanks man! I had to check your profile out, I hadn't realized you made a new PG&C thread, so snap followed it.

I agree with everything that you said here. WRT the freedom, if I get a job and it is 9-5 M-F, so be it. I think too often poker players have the illusion of freedom. What I mean by this is, you can pick and choose when you play. But if you want to maximize your take home earnings, you HAVE to play nights, late nights, and weekends. This is especially true live. Not as much online, but still true to a degree. And with MTT grinders, forget it. The circuit dictates your freedom.

Yeah, I can vacation it up whenever. When my wife and I vacationed this year, I made 0 dollars. She made her normal salary.

If I get a job and I want to make more, I just have to study skills up, maybe get a degree. If I want to make more in poker, I either have to exclusively play online in an unregulated environment, or I have to move my family to Las Vegas. LA. South Florida. Maryland/Philly area.

And of everything I listed that sounds so awful, I was ok with it before I had a kid on the way. Going in at night sucks. Having to watch your back with thousands of dollars in your pocket at 1 or 2am in the morning isn't comforting. But I was ok with it.

And, you know, the pressure got to me. I started seeing the the negative in the game, and it became amplified. My wife and I had made the plan of what was going to happen when the baby came, and it was about the middle of October when I started questioning it, in my mind. I'm going to watch this kid while she goes to work. Attempt to play a little bit online. She's going to come home, I'll spend maybe an hour with her, then I'll go into a casino where the poker games are dying and attempt to play, probably drained and exhaisted. The downswing just maximized everything.

I started feeling gross about what I was doing. We're putting hundreds, thousands of dollars on pieces of cardboard wrapped in plastic. I'm taking money from players because they are either worse than me, stupid, drunk, or in an altered state of mind. At least let me do this online, where I don't have to see it and can turn a blind eye towards it.

I snapped. After a bad stretch Wednesday afternoon, I got felted by a player. I called him a "****ing moron".

Before I continue, getting something straight, this player is DEFINITELY in that stupid category that I mentioned earlier.

But I'd never said that before Wednesday. To anyone. Maybe under my breath on my way to the car, but not at the table, and not to the person. That's simply poor people manners, and I apologize here for it.

It highlighted a few issues in me, all poker related. I'm just done with poker. Mentally, I can't handle it anymore. I don't want to handle it anymore (I do want to play Omaha online, but that's different and more recreational). I'm kind of sick of playing in an environment where your "co workers" want to leave you broke and on the streets. I'm sick of "working" in a place where one can call others "****ing morons" to their face with no consequence. I'm sick of taking glee in the misfortunes of others. I'm sick of seeing the industry just die a little more every day. I'm sick of having to work 1-5pm and 9pm-1am to hopefully maximize my hourly. I'm sick of going to work and losing money. I'm sick of feeling like I'm missing out on money if I'm not there on a Saturday or late Friday night.

My wife and I talked. She had seen me miserable for the last month and a half, but never said anything. We agreed that I'd take a week or two away from poker. I probably have to go back to playing at some point. I may just deposit some online and grind there. Even if it doesn't meet the monthly nut, I hopefully don't have to meet it for too long. I'm going to study my ass off. I'm aiming for at least 6 hours a day of study. When I feel like I'm ready, I'm going to take on a few side projects. When I feel like I'm ready after that, I'm going to apply to some jobs to start a new career.

I have to say, I love studying, and even the monotonous parts, of this field so far. It's math + logic = beauty and creativity. I built a simple table a couple of days ago. I had no idea how to do that a week or 2 prior. I was so proud of it, I showed my wife. And everyone is helpful! It's not like poker, where if you're wrong, you're a "****ing moron". People will help.

I'll never regret having attempted to go pro. Hell, look at what I accomplished. I went from a $200 bankroll all the way to being able to fully support myself, pay for a wedding, put a massive down payment on a good car, pay for vacation. I won't have that regret on my death bed. I'm not even going to say I failed. I just hated the aspects surrounding it. I had new priorities emerge. And, as you get older, thats ok. How many people can say they had a dream, worked towards it, and got to live it?

I am so much with you on your current demeanor towards the game of poker. I have reached a seemingly infinite amount of instances at this point where I have felt that the game of poker is not something that should be undertaken for a living if one wants to keep their wholesomeness intake, for myself at least.

I have spent the past ~2 years as a care giver for a loved one, and tried to maintain an air of professionalism towards poker, and have shipped little pieces of myself continuously along the way. I couldn't, and can't do it anymore. Most of my stubbornness towards trying to grind, was the sense that I felt I would have been admitting that I wasted a vast amount of time with poker if I moved on from it. However, I played/coached baseball for 20+ years, including through college and graduate degree. Then I dropped the game after all that time and have had relatively little to do with baseball for the past 4+ years, and simply looked at all of that time spent as just a phase in life setting me up for the next chapter.

While I feel like a fool sometimes, I learned enough about myself to know that there is more to me as a person than baseball, poker, or whatever silly fanaticism I prescribe to next. There are people that need me, there is a calling that is for me, and there is a path to some semblance of fulfillment that I can attain.

Long self-indulgence of mine aside, I admire your ability to shift focus to those that need you, and your recognition of yourself becoming something you don't necessarily want to become with poker. I applaud your astute and mature decision making, that I don't think you would have reached if not diving headlong into the professional poker waters. You are certainly better for your venture.

Also, congratulations on the incoming little one. That is a true blessing and something to be truly thrilled and inspired by. Which I am sure(from reading this thread especially) that you are. All the best, and to future correspondence, Cheers!

Thanks for the words Zombie.

Regarding you feeling like you wasted a chunk of your life, I wouldn't put it that way. I know that's not how I'll look at it. When I undertook the journey, one of the big factors was that I didn't want to be on my death bed and wonder "what if I had taken the shot?" I have a feeling that question is being asked more and more by millenials every day. One of the reasons for the career changes, less longevity at a company, more uprooting, more travelling, than we saw with the generation that told us what we had to do.

I also look at it as lessons in life. For instance, I now have a skill that, should I ever need it, can allow me to make some money if I were to ever, say, get laid off from a future employer. I know what it's like to live frugally. I know what I need to live. I know much more about how to keep your financials healthy. I learned how to record keep even the smallest details (although for the last 3 or so weeks, I couldn't be bothered to enter good or bad results into Excel). I learned time management skills. Beforehand, yeah, I was working 40 hours a week and playing 20 hours a week. But playing 40 a week, combined with studying, honestly felt like a much tougher challenge. I'd suck it up more than when I didn't want to go to work at my former employer. There are juat so many lessons that I learned that I wouldn't have if I had stayed at my dead end job.

I think poker as a career should be taken on by anyone that wants to do it. But, I also think it should stay a career for such a select few. It emotionally numbed me and the faux freedom isn't worth that. I'm a kind hearted spirit, and I just wasn't that. And I hated it. And poker does that to you after a while.

I appreciate your heartfelt post; I wish you the best in transitioning to a new career. I selfishly hope you play some more because I love reading your thread. But parent-to-parent, I really hope you get into something you love, something you feel good about, and something that supports your family w/o leaving you stressed out in the way poker has you now. I think your smarts and work ethic will bring you success in web development or whatever you were to choose. GL and you can do it. (Oh, and at job interviews if you mention wanting the job to support your family and take care of your child I think that goes a long way.)

Thanks Ed. It's very likely I'll have to play a little more, as I may need to make a little money to be able to study my ass off. I'm undecided, but I'm leaning towards putting money online and playing through there. I can't handle much more live poker, and I just have 0 desire to go in at 10pm and play.

A lot of the studying I've done has been geared closer to an online approach. So we'll see, but my goal is no more professional poker. And I have to say, this last week or so has been great! Best my attitude has been in a long time. And this is the first week since 2013 where I haven't needed to play seriously. It feels great.

It was around this time where I thought, going back a month or so, that I would have to make a decision on whether to grind online and continue studying, or something else.

And, you know what? I can't do it. I can't bring myself to want to grind online. I have had no urge to want to go play live. I have had no urge to play online. I have watched a few Twitch streams, but it's more as a rec player than anything else. You know, it's kind of fun being that rec player, watching some Twitch kid play some meaningless $50 MTT. I did cancel my training site subscription. And to top it off, I hadn't even visited 2+2 this week until today.

The studying is going well. I actually had a moment this week where I was looking at this list of a bunch of languages and tools, and I was consistently like "I know that, I know that, I know that". It was a great feeling. I've compressed a **** ton of studying into these last 4 or so weeks. And while it feels like I haven't mastered hardly anything, it's not the case. I'm not quite ready to apply for jobs yet, but give me another month or so and then we'll see.

I actually thought about what I would put on my resume regarding this layoff. And then I thought, what better way to show a hard, dedicated, patient worker than to just be honest about it? Just tell the interviewer that I started with $200 (which I did) and ground it up, even while working full-time as an HR professional. And then I was able to make a living off of it. If someone is actually capable of doing that over the course of a few years, as an employer that's impressive as hell. That's dedication, patience, and the ability to work one's ass off. It's also something you can put on a resume and get a look just because it's different.

So....that's it. The journey is officially over. And I'm happy about it. I won't have to tell my kids that I make my living by taking people's money through awful judgement. I won't have to play well into the wee hours of the night, and feel guilty about not playing on a Saturday or a Sunday. I won't have to expect to lose money 40% of the time I go to work. I won't have to keep a separate bankroll, savings, checking, retirement, etc. I won't have to feel panicked walking into work because you never know if someone is hiding around the corner to rob you. And lastly, I won't have the fake freedom. Ok, I can not go in today if I don't want to. I also won't make any money. Ok, I can set my own hours, but I won't be able to maximize my hourly if I'm not playing from 7pm-3am. Ok, I can just leave in the event of an emergency, or someone needs me to do something. Odds are, I would be able to leave in the event of an emergency, and people only ask you to do stuff because they know you're not working. Ok, I can take whatever days off I want. Except most people want Saturday and Sunday off, and that's what a career can provide. But you can't do that in poker. Those are the money days.

If I were to tell someone thinking about it. Poker, in the United States, has the illusion of being a great job. Definitely try it if you want, but just remember the illusion. It's a lot like (how I imagine) Vegas (is). To the naked eye, it's glamorous. It's the high life, it's hip and rich. But on the inside, it's ugly, full of vices and poverty. And that's what poker is. Beautiful on the outside. Ugly on the inside.

Hey everyone!

It's been a few weeks since my last post. We're preparing to have our 8th celebration/gathering tonight since my last post. Trust me, that's way too many.

We did have a gender reveal party, and we found out that we are having a boy! That was pretty much our Christmas. It came just a couple of days before Christmas, and we were looking forward to this way more than actual Christmas day.

I personally have been studying any chance I get. I've noticed that the Dunning-Kruger effect is all too entirely real. It may be because at the beginning, the stuff you're learning is easy. Oh, I've got this, how hard can it really be?

Then, you start getting to the hard stuff. I can still get this. Then you dive deeper. I'm at a point in my studies where I know that I know some things, but I know that there is a ton of information I don't know and, frankly, won't know. I'm not adept enough yet to accept that there are just things that I'm not going to know. I think I'm a couple of months of truly hard study out, but in the meantime I'll probably start looking for some contract work.

Poker has been absolutely non existent. I may have played half an hour of online omaha. I'm not going to lie. There is a small itch to want to play, but it's minute. Every time I think I may play, I find something else I want and/or need to do more.

I had been wanting to figure out what changed. And, if I'm honest, I had started thinking about the future before this post below. But the content in this below quoted post is really what got to me:

I know I had been on the line of "businesses are greedy, I'd just be helping them suck money out of the economy. That's what I'm doing in poker anyways" camp. But that night changed it. Sure, it's fun to play a game for a living. But, unlike a business, the money I'm taking is from humans who have their judgement clouded. Humans that don't have the time to learn as much as I know. And it's not entertainment that I'm providing them as a service. I'm playing a game to take their money. They do consent to play the game. Hopefully they gamble responsibly. Either way, I'm no better than a casino. I'm making a living preying off of people's addictions or unhealthy habits.

I remember that night vividly. At first, I was overjoyed that this player, who literally had no clue what was going on, had sat at our table. Yeah, it was slowing the game down, but it was funny. And eventually, I'd get his money. I was secretly pissed when the manager brought security in to kick him out.

But after replaying it, that was awful. This guy was on some kind of substance, and it led him to play a game that he had no clue about. He was losing a couple thousand dollars (which is a lot in Ohio), and the next day he'd probably not know what he did with it. And it made me wonder how often this scenario had happened, and it made me sick.

Did I really want to do online poker? Kind of. But how safe is it? Can I really count on an unregulated site in an unregulated market to provide for my wife and future kid? As had been said, I don't feel nearly as bad playing online because of the hoops that one has to go through just to get money online. You actively have to seek this out. Hence, why I just abruptly quit.

And I feel good about it. The warnings are true. There just isn't that much upside in poker. It's dying around here. Getting into tech, which is always a growing industry, is absolutely the right choice for me. I can sleep comfortably knowing that I'll be able to provide a stable living. I'll be able to advance in a career. I'll have fun working my job. Even on my worst days, I won't lose money.

In 2019, I'm not going to completely abandon poker. I may try to grind a little bit online the next couple of months just for a small amount of income, but nothing serious. Then again, I never thought I'd be in this spot at the beginning of the year. If I could explain the year, in poker terms...

I got dealt a solid suited connector. 87s. I called a raise in late position. I'm really just kind of hoping to flop a straight or flush draw.

Flop comes AK8r. I call a street. Turn is a J. We check it. River is a 7. He bets. I call. He shows A9. I won, not the way I had planned, but it turns out I wasn't against huge odds as it may have appeard.

I'm not going to start a thread for the new year. My main goals aren't even poker related. At the end of the year, I want to have studied and learned enough that I got a job in technology. And I want to keep on studying. I also want to start saving up for a nice house. I wouldn't mind grinding for a few $k online. Most importantly for this year, I want to be an awesome father. And in my eyes, it all starts with this change.

It's been 3 months since I stepped foot in a casino. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it a little bit.

I've come around a tiny bit to the validity of being a poker player. It's great if you're at the top. You're competing against players who can lose big sums of money. By can, I mean it doesn't affect their well-being, personal finances, etc. You can literally write "don't play 72o from UTG first in" and sell 10,000 copies of a book.

If you're in the middle, not so much. Your salary demands a ton of play. Your salary demands big swings, some that may effect you emotionally. Your salary demands that you study x amount of hours per week just to keep the status quo. Your salary demands that you put on a show for the drunken whale. Your salary demands playing at unhealthy times, sometimes in unsavory conditions. Your salary demands that you live in the proper locales.

And this is for maybe $60k-$90k a year.

I bring that up because, the more I've thought about it the last few months, the more I've realized. If I wasn't having a kid, I'd still be at the tables. That night in October was jarring. But I wouldn't have had to explain to a kid that this is how we make money. I wouldn't have had to tell him that it's ok to take money from the underprivileged because they aren't as good as you at a game including 52 plastic cards.

I'd just go, shrug it off, and say "That's poker. They know what they're signing up for."

I can tell you this, though. I never would have made it.

I wouldn't have made it because, maybe the studying would have gotten to be too much. The schedule may have gotten too demanding. After all, how long can one keep up playing 9 or 10 "shifts" a week? That just gets exhausting. How many Friday nights would my wife allow me to miss? How would I sustain motivation after a few consecutive losing weeks, for the nth time of my career? What would happen after the 4th year of making $50k? Would we move out of Columbus, and to a poker "mecca"? What if that failed? What would happen when the rake was (inevitably) raised? What would happen if we wanted to purchase a house? How would I feel in year 9, when I'm 37, having to attend some home game on a Saturday night to eek out $35 an hour? How would I feel the first time that I'm robbed at a home game? How would I feel, getting to my car, reaching back and making a stabbing motion on both sides for the 2,387th time just to make sure nobody was back there? Or the 2,387th time I'd have to exclusively watch my rear-view mirror to make sure nobody followed me?

For ****'s sake, it isn't worth it for $60k a year.....

Is the conclusion I would have eventually come to. I don't think $60k is the top end here, but I can't imagine the top end is much more than ~$100k/year, for the absolute best players. I still would have tried, but I wouldn't have made it.

For anyone looking on going pro, look at those long list of reasons why I wasn't going to make it. Those are questions I guarantee you don't ask yourself. I guarantee you don't hear other pros mention those questions. But they're important. I still would have given it a go after answering those questions, because I'd think I could be the next mid-high stakes crusher in LA. But I wouldn't now.

This has all been on my mind lately, as I enter month 4 of not bringing any income in. It's stressful as can be now, considering I could have sucked it up and just drug myself to the casino every day. But it's fun, and 2 or 3 years from now, I'm going to be glad I went through this stressful point. My plan has always been:

-study day and night
-get some one-time or temporary freelance gigs
-land a front-end dev position (jr if need be)

As far as progress, I'm about 80-85% through with phase 1.

I almost want to close this thread down, but there is one more update I have to put in, and that won't come for another 3 or so months. That'd be the perfect end of my PG&C threads, right? Some young punk tries to build a roll, builds roll, leaves job to go pro, leaves poker, starts career & family.

Just found this thread, gonna read through!

I'm going completely through this thread looking for chip porn pictures for my website. Two takeaways:

1. Jesus I talked a lot about nothing.

2. I really wish I had taken more chip porn pics. I had so many nice stacks. It's a shame they all went to waste.

On a more serious note to keep any lingering readers "in the loop", there has been a minor complication with the pregnancy. So we're getting induced a few weeks earlier to limit potential risks...so the end of April.

I mostly lurked but I definitely enjoyed your posts and the layout in general, so I wouldnt say you rambled!

Sorry about the pregnancy, will keep you in my thoughts and prayers

So sorry to hear of the pregnancy complication. Here's wishing you and your family nothing but great health and happiness.

Thanks everyone! It's nothing extremely serious, but enough that precautions are being taken. We had the baby shower over the weekend and have started laying out rooms the best we can. I think it's finally starting to sink in that there's going to be a baby later this month.

Some time before I close this thread and when I have time, I want to go through all of my "pro" records and post as much as I have. I have nothing to hide anymore and can only help others make a decision.

This is as good of a time as any to lay everything out.

If you decide to go pro, do not do it in a small locale. It's just so much more difficult, because the size of the games are smaller. The player pool is smaller. The money, unlike a place like LA or LV, is finite. The games you have to get into are fairly unsavory.

Also, don't have strings that attach you to something, or someone. For me, I wanted a healthy relationship with my girlfriend, and then wife, moreso than I wanted poker success. There was already a timeline for me within poker. It was - and I cannot stress this enough - never meant to be my plan for the rest of my life. So, subconsciously, I probably would have never given the absolute 100% needed.

And it shows. I wasn't willing to go to shady games in shady areas. I was only willing to play late weekends if something out of the ordinary was happening. I would study nearly daily, I would try to keep friendly banter at the table...but that's about the extent that I would go to.

During my time as a "pro", I played 1,708 hours and 25 minutes. The vast majority of the time, 1,540 hours, was spent at 1/2. During the 1,708 hours, I made $21,442. My overall hourly was just $12.55. At 1/2, my hourly was a more respectable $14.58.

The largest suck of my win rate was 2/2 PLO. I lost $2,155 over 37 hours.

Those are the numbers from a small locale. There wasn't more 2/5 simply because it never got off as much as I thought, thanks to a small PLO "boom".

When I left my job, and this is key for everyone, I did plan for a whole bunch of hourly win rates, including a couple lower than my actual one. Things I didn't account for?

-The decline of 2/5
-The lack of meaningful hours I would accumulate
-The difference between playing at peak hours vs playing at non-peak hours
-Expenses such as an engagement ring and a wedding

The lack of meaningful hours actually was something I accounted for. However, when I say I didn't account for it, I didn't account for both hours and hourly being close to the worst possible scenario.

What can others gain from this? I wouldn't say it was necessarily a failure, but the amount of money I won and the amount of hours I played were both lower than I wanted. The big thing to take away from this is to plan. Because I planned for the worst case scenario and knew what I would have to do to survive a prolonged worst case scenario, I was able to continue playing. For those who remember, my worst stretch actually came from November 2017-February 2018. That stretch was so bad though that it drug my win rate and hourly through the ground.

Have an exit plan. It may have hindered me a little bit, but it's still wise. You just won't be able to do this forever. And don't have strings attached. I kept thinking "what would happen if I went to this game, it got robbed and I got shot? How would my wife handle it?" or "I hope this isn't the time someone runs behind me and robs me." Those were real fears of mine. I would have cared less if I didn't have someone waiting at home for me.

Don't do this in a small locale. Go to a larger locale. The small locale is finite, but the large locale will have plenty of money and games to go around, with little risk.

And lastly, if you do this, play as much as you can. Every training site says try to avoid burnout. Burnout will happen. You can try to prevent it, try to avoid it, but it will happen. I remember many times during my career when I'd be bored at the poker table. And that's ok! You think Tom Brady is having fun on a Tuesday morning, watching the same play on film for the 20th time? Just suck it up and play. I didn't, and that's part of the reason why my hours suffered.

And actual last point I want to go over. Poker has little freedom. You have to play nights and weekends to make your hourly potential. Otherwise, your hourly will suffer. There is an emergency across the country? Most employers will give you the time to attend to the emergency. You want to travel a little bit? Take a sabbatical from work, or a simple vacation. Sure, with poker, you can just drop everything and leave. But you're confined to a schedule to maximize your hourly, something that a normal career does not do. You're not as free as you think you are with poker. And if you don't want to listen to a boss, that's fine. Just be aware that there are a lot of other industries where you also don't get a boss. But your boss is actually yourself. And not listening to yourself is far worse than not listening to someone else.

Incredible post but last paragraph specifically is one of the best ways I've seen the "no boss" poker fallacy summarized.

Gl with everything