Surrogacy Part II
"...it looks like we have triplets"
You could hear a pin drop.
Triplets?!?!
I've always wanted to be a dad, it's something I've looked forward to throughout my life. I wish I could tell you guys hearing that was the best thing in the world and that I was ecstatic but one emotion launched from my stomach and rocked up right to my throat.
Panic.
Pure unfiltered panic.
One child is daunting but exciting, but going from 0-3 felt like it was going to be overwhelming. A million things raced from my head like "Are we going to have to move? Our house is not big enough...to I gotta go from supporting a family of 2 to 5.
My thoughts melted away as I heard the doctor's voice echo into my head.
"Yes, this is very rare, seldom you'll see one embryo split one time, but for it to split twice is exceedingly rare, possibly one in thousands"
He continued "What's worse is that there is a bit of an abnormality with the ultrasound"
He pointed to the top embryo and said this one looks healthy as can be as I looked at him ready for the typical "but"
"BUT there's issues here with the bottom two. As you can see they're almost on top of each others sac and there's a lot of gray muddled in that it makes me uneasy; what's more is that I can definitively see 3 embryo's but can only located 2 heartbeats. Now that doesn't mean there isn't one as it's still early but I must let you know in these rare instances... high risks accompany them and very often not all of them make it."
He then gave us the contact info of a high risk doctor who deals with special cases like this and advised us to be proactive as the sooner these things gets resolved the better.
As we exited the office, there was a bit of a stunned reaction from everyone. This was supposed to be the easy part; finally receiving nice easy news on a journey that has been nothing but easy.
And while I was panicked about having multiples I sure as hell didn't want to lose any of them (I honestly felt a little guilty about my first reaction at first before being assured by literally everyone I knew that it's human nature to have those feelings)
We called the high risk doctor that friday to set up an appointment and we waited...
And we waited...
And we waited...
Anddd we finally got an appointment set up the following Wednesday. This is the nature of busy doctors but it was tough to wait; especially for Victoria
New York High Risk Specialist
We drove into Manhattan, on blistery cold day, ready for answers, and with it I think a bit of relief.
Unfortunately, due to COVID, only two were allowed up for the doctor visit, so it was decided Victoria and Jazz would go up.
I reminded myself that there was nothing to be done and passed the time by playing Chess for 45 minutes, at least I would be using my brain and keep busy.
After 45 minutes (and my 6th straight chess loss, God I suck), my eyes darted from my phone to my cousin and wife. It doesn't take a poker player to read my wife's body language and I was ready for the not good news.
With emotions still a bit high and tears in her eyes, my wife let me know that we lost the other 2 embryos BUT we still had one healthy embryo.
The one embryo did not grow/live as soon as splitting.
The second embryo did however grow and even got to a heartbeat, but could not continue. They even had a machine where you could see the bloodflow between the emrbyos.
Our one fighter was vibrant and colorful while the other one was gray; the imaging was such a contrast it still gets me sad a bit.
A lot of emotions come into play here and it's really amazing how perception works. If you told us at the beginning of the process that we would have had a healthy fetus we would have been over the moon. With the news, we had hopes for twins or triplets so despite only 10 days there was a definitive feeling of loss.
One big silver lining was that with the end of the other 2 embryos, the one embryo was at much less risk and that usually for these sort of situations this is usually the best case.
February to March
With our one embryo, we counted our blessings and moved forward, just praying for the best. Thankfully, we got no surprises. All the subsequent visits showed a healthy baby and we graduated from our fertility clinic to my cousins OB.
At the end of March, we went to the 12 week Ultrasound, met her doctor and good news continued. We had no issues, everything was moving a long well.
We were ready for the gender reveal... but we got one last surpise.
Well...That escalated quickly
Remember last year where we signed onto a surrogacy agency to match with in the hopes of finding a donor? (
https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/s...postcount=1242)
Well, we stayed on the list even after Jaz offered to be our surrogate as we wanted to have multiples. We began the list at #21 and to this point had risen all the way to #6.
Well they called... and they had a donor for us...from NJ.
We asked what happened to the 5 people ahead of us one the list, and in a stroke of rungood that is just pretty absurd...every single one of them used a clinic that had an 18 month waiting period between c-section pregnancies (which is what the surrogate in question just had).
The surrogate didn't want to wait 18 months. Our clinic allows 12 months.
They asked if we wanted to set up a meeting for a possible match.
We told them of course, but we let them know about Jaz and almost universally people are not allowed to have 2 surrogates at once, so hopes were kind of not expecting much when they said they got back to us.
Less than a day later, they said it'd be no problem. They talked to the surrogate and she didn't have an issue, and the partners followed are story and felt like we were equipped to handle it.
Just a total holy **** moment, and these kind of moments make me tell myself to never take for granted how things have fallen in my favor, just ridiculously blessed.
We met w the surrogate in early April. We got a long great and we signed on. Surrogacy #2 headed on in beginning of August
Gender Reveal
With everything, really turning in our favor we were ready to find out the gender of our child.
We set up a small get together with family and had a zoom call for our close friends (To my lovely oversee poker friends I didn't want to have you wake up at 1 AM <3).
It was a great day and Victoria's friends were absolute wizards setting everything up for us as far as decoration and helping the food get prepped.
We set up in the yard and got ready for the reveal...
*sorry blog fish and couldn't figure how to embed vid
https://imgur.com/vzfZWqO
++++GENDER SPOILER ALERT++++
*Social Media Announcement #1
Social Media Announcement #2 w a little WSOP homage
Coming from a gambling family...we did take bets
Me and Vic saying hi to those over Zoom
This last picture is my favorite though, it's when we told my cousin that we're gonna name our daughter (still gets weird saying that, but man it feels AWESOME) Isabella Jazmine Pawar.
So thankful for my cousin, she's a goddamn superstar.
So, that's the update everyone. You're all caught up as this just happened Saturday. I'm really over the moon I'm gonna be a dad. The due date is October 21st.
Safe to say, I'm going to enjoy being a dad for a bit...but also really ready to get after poker starting in May.
I have my honeymoon next week and I'm so ready for a vacation; me and the wife are vaccinated and just ready for some R&R.
In the meantime, gonna soak in the good news for awhile; hoping all the best for everyone checking out this thread