Wow, I feel like a super life nit now. Im late 20's sitting on 45K w/ 5K monthly cash flow working for the man and monthly expenses of about 1.5K. However I do not yet own a home just a comuter car, truck & bass boat. I often feel like I am pretty poor. I suppose working for the man to depend on the cash flow kind of causes this feeling grrrr. I wish I could find a way out of that but at this point with current income(including solid retirement and health benefits) I feel stuck. Also no college, I agree 100% with your thoughts on college. It seems though society is brainwashed into college being of utmost importance to be successful.

Butterfly,

Do you think you can talk a little about the psychological effects of the game on you?

I've been following your thread for a while it actually inspired me to start playing again. Ran a non existent roll up in 1/2 $300 max game up to $4400, 14 winning sessions, 1 loss. Took a shot in 2/5 $1000 max game and lost 1k. Now I have two things that are consuming me the non desire to play and the thought that lost is how its always going to be.

I know this **** isn't true but was wondering how you deal with setbacks? It's weird those first 15 sessions. I would literally play everything hand by hand and never get ahead of myself but now it seems like there is this giant wall blocking my mind from playing my game.

Confidence definitely got rattled and probably magnified because it was a game outside of my normal comfort zone.

I'm a Chicago player (Horseshoe Hammond, Majestic, Blue Chip)

Thanks again for always posting.

You know you can just pay your credit card bill off every month and they will give you a small percentage of your purchases back, right?

So your still up 3300? in 15 sessions? What you do now is play 1-3 again till you have your confidence where you want it and take another shot, sooner or later that streak you went on in 1-3 can also happen at 2-5

Good luck

Don't b discouraged at all! I clearly remember the first time I lost $1k playing poker and it was awful! I thought about all things I cd hv done w that money. Now it has happened so many times it ain't nothing but a thang. It's inevitable, big losses will happen.
What u experienced is just some bad variance. No big deal. The way u beat variance is just keep showing up. Volume beats variance in the long run. Also don't worry about day-to-day sessions. Assess ur play week to week, month to month, year to year. Nobody can win every day, or every week. But if u can book solid months, solid years; then that's all that matters. It sounds like u book a solid $3400 (4400-$1k), that's awesome. Take pride in the positives!
Yes, I get discouraged too. The times I get 1, 2, or 3 outed for huge pots it will take me a couple days to recover. What tilts me more than bad beats is bad mistakes. I rather play gd and get bad beated than make costly mistakes. I hv made sm horrible calls this year, and those usually take a couple days to get over as well. I still remember paying off "tight bob" w my QQ knowing he wd only 3bet pre w KK or AA couple weeks ago. And also giving "classy Jim" $400 otr last week. I even remember bad calls I made last year!! Those mistakes haunt me, but I just hv to suck it up and move on. My main concern is booking winning months and making that cheddar.

I been in the same exact spot as u! When the confidence drops, u don't feel like playing, and hv thoughts of just quitting altogether. Actually, I believe everyone on here has. Poker is such a mental struggle! It's very painful on the psyche at times! But u hv to take the gd w the bad. It's a game for the head strong.

I handle the bad moments different ways/different times. Sometimes I will take a day off, play some tennis, or smthing else fun and enjoy life. There r so many things I'm thankful for, and I won't let a big losing session will bring me down (to terribly bad).
Other times, I may just jump back on the horse, and get back to the felt. It is VERY important to block out the negativity (past losing sesh) when u play. Just stay the course, play every hand the best u can play it, and don't ever tilt!!
Winning cures everything!

Setbacks will happen along the way to achieving success. I handle these setbacks by reminding myself it can always be worse! I will find the positives in my life, and remind myself of the things I'm thankful for.

I wd take ur stats all day long! U say u won $4400 and lost $1k = +$3400 is awesome. Sounds like a gd formula to me! I also respect u took a shot. Who cares if it didn't go gd, u showed heart! Go back to grinding the 1/2 again, build it up, and take another shot when it's right for u. Or if the 2/5 is just too stressful, then just stick w 1/2. Life is about living in zen. One of the big reasons I did the $40k challenge playing just 1/2 last year was primarily it was less stress and a more zenful life. Those big games can b very stressful.

Best of luck,
Rayz

This

Thanks guys for the kind words. I'll be back at the 1-2 grind shortly.

I'm fortunate that i've been around a long time and the in game stuff (during a session) doesn't bother me. I'm so calm win or lose during the course of session because I know short term results don't trump long term stuff.

Taking the shot was interesting. I feel I'm good enough to play in the game especially the way that I play. I didn't get bad beated it was just a few mistakes that I made and boom the confidence left as well.

Once the bankroll gets to a healthy number again I'll do it again.

I love the game but it did rattle me a little bit.

I haven't been able to play cards for a few days, been experiencing some heart issues. I went to the hospital yesterday to get some test done. It seems my heart wants to constantly stay above 110, and having trouble getting it to normal levels. Mayb I haven't been experiencing anxiety in the past, but rather heart complications. Trying to find out if the anxiety is causing a rapid heart rate, OR the high heart is the cause of everything else. Anyways, more test today, and blood work. The blood work will supposedly see if the thyroid is working properly. For now, I'm just taking some beta blockers to get my heart rate down while they figure out what is going on.
I'm hoping to get out around 2pm today, and Ill will b heading straight to the 2/5/10 game. Prob won't b bluffing today because I'm not sure if my heart can handle it . One thing is fo sure...I'll b playing w A LOT of heart (pun intended)!!
Been pretty scared lately, and prayers are appreciated and welcome.

This is a cold reminder of- if we don't have our health nothing else really matters.
Rayz

Know your in good hands. Modern medicine is phenomenal. Definitely take a look at your diet and workout regimen in order to ensure your body has what it needs to function properly. Glgl at 2-5-10 nl

Best of luck Ray, hope all is well man.

Thanks @abs and @tsw.

Got the blood work done yesterday, and then headed to the 2/5/10 game. Wish I hadn't!
Nothing worse than a losing session before the holidays!
I was in the game for $2500 and never really got anyone going. My best hand was trips, and 0 for 10 on pocket pairs. I got cold decked on a couple hands, and 0 for 2 on hero calls. At times I felt very uncomfortable w chest pains, but it seemed to be off and on. I took a Proponal in the middle of the session and really felt nothing from it. My symptoms r getting really discouraging, and hopefully I can get sm answers soon.
Actually thought I played pretty gd w the cards that were dealt to me, but couldn't get them to coordinate w the flops. Attempted a couple cbets on some of the ****ty flops, but had to shut it down quickly when I knew I wdnt b able to get them off. Bled a lot of small money on preflop raising, and not connecting; and at times cbetting those hands. It added up a lot throughout the sesh.
At my lowest point I was down $1300, but ended up cutting that in half. I fought hard to get even, or even book a win; but just not in the cards today.


Lost -$625 on 6hrs 37 mins. (Could have bought the family a 60" Black Friday special w that money!! Ugh)

Happy Thanksgiving y'all.

Definitely sucks to lose right before the holidays, been there, done that. Seems like you were able to manage the loss though, about half a buy-in in that game is no biggie.

I really wish you the best with the health issues. Wish I had some advice to share.

Well hope you and everyone have a great Thanksgiving! Take care.

Is a 60 that cheap now? I remember when my dad's rich friend bought around a 60 inch TV and paid 5 thousand dollars!

@$9 thanks and @bubonicplay yep ole Wally World has a 65" for $648. Thinking about grabbing that tonight for my basement. $300 savings might b worth fighting the black Friday crowds.

And so it begins...Already getting questions this Thanksgiving from the extended family about my "shaggy". I.e. "So u letting the beard grow out?"
Trust me, not even mentioning that I'm not shaving until I cash a tourney. No way in hell am I bringing up the word "poker" around people I see a couple times a year. So I just said, "Yeah doing the ole no shave November thing".

What happens in December?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Keep it real. Definitely sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. Saw a few of your posts on twitter. Boy do I know how that feels not being at your normal self. 4 surgeries on my kidney in the last 6 weeks with another to come next Friday. I can't wait to feel like my normal self.

If it makes you feel better on the poker front I didn't play and for the first time in my life really spent money on something (extremely frugal) yesterday, $600 for a TV and $300 for Xbox One. Lol so thats money out of my roll and now I feel guilty about it.

Today is the deep 2/5 game, going to take another shot with $800.

Be well and keep us posted on your healthy definitely the most important thing for you and your family.

@doughboy hopefully I see the clippers!
@h-ven u too. Hope u had a gd Turkey day! I know I ate way too much. Had sm pecan pie for breakfast this morning .
@munlochi thanks for the positive thoughts. Felt pretty gd today. Doc has me taking 3 propanol pills a day, and I think it's actually helping me a little. She get my blood work back Monday and I'll keep u posted. Thanks for the well wishes.

Today: played 6hrs 47mins of 2/5/10nl while wearing sunglasses. Don't normally wear sunglasses, but had a migraine, and the lights in the poker room were killing me. It left me w no choice but to rock the shades . Not a big fan of the shades at the table, but I can see myself wearing them more often. In weird way, it was somewhat calming for me.
Yep ima little upset I didn't leave when I was up $1200, but oh well that's how it goes sometimes. I ended up losing some big hands towards the end of my sesh, and booked a -$46 loser.
Now I'm sulking in some more pecan pie.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=3BiXpv-dI_E

Pretty cool to reach the 1000 vote mark on the poll question! The data is interesting to me, so thank you for all those who have voted!

Hand from last night...
Shut it down or jam River????, that is the question!

Players in this hand:

$400/seat 5
on his trillionth min buy of $200. Has the highest % of VPIP at the table, and is considered a recreational player. He loves the action as equally as he loves to see flops. One wd think a short buy wd play snug, but not this "trillionth min-buy man". Age 50 and supposedly retired (it matters).

$1400/Seat 8
on his second rebuy of $1k, and is considered a semi-professional...Also has a regular job. Plays ABC poker for the most part. He got cold decked a couple times on trips w better kicker, and trips beaten by full house. VPIP less than 20%. Played with this fellow often and doesn't get to out of line. Doesn't bluff much. He seems to only raise pre w big aces and big pairs. Saw him tank folding aces when facing a bet when the 2nd queen hit the turn an orbit earlier- to a player w wide range (questionable fold, but the turn bet look like valuey...so mayb correct fold). Age 45, Russian, and seems middle class (it matters).

$1400/seat 9
me. They both know I'm a regular and play for a living.
Holding 77

The game: 2/5/winner straddle $10+nl

The straddle was in the utg+2, and first action was seat 5 who limps, seat 8 makes it $50, and I call $50 w pocket 7s. Folded back to seat 5 who limp/calls $50.

The flop ($160) is 458
Seat 5 checks, seat 8 bets $75, I call, seat 5 check/calls.

The turn ($385) is a 2.
Seat 5 checks, seat 8 checks, so I thought this wd b a gd time to try to take this down right here. I'm hoping seat 8 cbet flop w a big ace (witnessed earlier in the session he cbetted just once w air in a similar 3 handed flop) . I had hoped seat 8 had nothing, and I was pretty sure I was ahead of seat 5 because he wd most likely lead out ott or put it in otf w his short buy (unless he flopped huge and trying to extract the max...didn't look like it though by his mannerism). Therefore, I go for a $225 turn bet w possibly the best hand w gutter and exploitable river possibilities. I get called by both seat 5 and seat 8. Ugh!!!

When seat 5 called he had $50 behind that he choose to KEEP and NOT just put all of it in. This told me he was most likely drawing, and didn't want to surrender his other $50 unless he got there otr.

When seat 8 calls I know he doesn't just have a big Ace unless it's 2 overs and a draw. To me it looks more like a big pair after he calls my turn bet.

The river ($1,060) is a 4.
Seat 5 checks, seat 8 checks, and I have around $1k that I thought about jamming, but just wasn't sure if I could get it through seat 8 who also had a dime behind. I know I don't have much showdown value here. It's either I am up against missed draws, or up against a bigger hand. So I either hv to jam the river (or $800+ bet) in attempt of getting seat 8 to lay down an overpair while risking the loss of a buy in, Or wave white flag. ??????

45824

What's ur play?

Seat 8 the turn check call is an overpair or two spade overs. I would think he would continue a barrel with a set. Seat 5 either caught a piece of the board w a hand that makes a pair, or various straight/flushdraw combos. At the risk of being beaten by seat 5 unless he folds with only $50 behind with a complete wiff otr I dont think there is any sense in risking our whole stack attemmpt to push seat 8 off a potentially better hand especially if he preceives you as very aggro. We have some showdown value might as well just check back and see if we're good.

I think you're only winning this pot if they missed their draws, or if you jam the river and get seat 8 to fold. If seat 5 has any pair he has to call his last $50.
I would prolly check just because I think seat 8 would call your river bet since he called you on the turn and river didn't change much.
What did they have?

I check back otr, but I'm a nit.

By the way, have you (or anyone else) noticed the games being juicier with the huge bad beat jackpot?

No showdown value??? You have exactly that. Check the river and table the best hand. Doubt you could push anyone off a better hand.

@nineDollars typically I wd have showdown value here against a vast majority of players, BUT against seat 8 I know after he calls the turn I am beat! Only hands I'm beating are flush draws and pocket 6s, but def beat to everything else. Doubt if he has 6s from how he plays middle to small pairs (V never raises pre w them). Also he never raises pre w small connectors (he will limp/call) so that takes other hand combos that I may hv showdown value against out of his range (56, 57). Therefore, I know my showdown value is VERY SMALL. My thought process was...I am only thinking about betting here to push out an over-pair from seat 8. My concern is I don't think he will fold.
As I contemplated, the more I waited to act on my river decision the more it was starting to look bluffy. I also considered the fact that seat 8 is already stuck, and some players will call in spots like this because they r already stuck in hopes to get unstuck. So I really don't think he would EVER be folding an over-pair AND already being stuck.
I can only rep straights, but V as a thinking player wd question if I wd call $50 pre in mp w 67 or As3s. That leaves full houses and bigger over pairs, so essentially I felt it would be hard to get him off his over-pair. It sucks to know exactly what I'm up against and I can't do anything about it! It's just so sick when I just have to checked behind knowing I'm beat!
Oh well, money saved is money earned.

Seat 5 had Q6 flush/straight combo draw. = Fig it was sm draw by how he played the hand.
Seat 8 had KK = pretty much what I thought, and didn't think I could do anything to get him off.

@bahbahmickey I wd say yes the traffic has picked up just a little bit, but can't tell any big difference in the action.

Good News/Bad News...

Good news is I finished the month of November $7,435 in cash, -$235 in one tourney, and $7,200 overall. This is the best month I've had all year! Super pumped to book a solid month after coming off of my 1st losing month in 2 years. Nice rebound!

CASH STATS (ending the w3 consecutive losses brought down my November win %, and November hourly tremendously)! No worries tho, gotta take the gd w the bad.



Bad news is I finished the month of November w 3 consecutive losing sessions (11/26 -$625, 11/28 -$45, 11/30 -$135). Time to turn it around!

December is a new month and new beginnings. Looking forward to it.

I actually went to the poker room this morning looking to get off on a gd start, and did a big U TURN when I saw they were running the same dumb Monday promotions as last month. I refuse to play on "Aces Cracked" promotion days (Mon & Thurs)! I even expressed my reasoning last month on HSI's FB page, and I guess it fell on deaf ears.




So today I'm just chilling at the hizzie putting dreads in my "shaggy".