The best player

Recently I was playing smash bros with a friend, we're decent, he is better than I am in the game, but not by a lot.
It was the like the second or third match of the day, I've chosen one of my best characters (mr. game and watch) and I often lose the match vs his best character (hero). But in that specific game I started pulling off some crazy combos and I've made a sequence of plays that I've never done before (although I've seen people do), it was insane, won by 3-1. We were both stunned at the combos I've made, it was like S rank level of play and I was pretty sure that I didn't have those tricks under my hat.

Today I thought a bit after getting schooled playing vs some random micro reg and remembered that day that I've made those combos on smash bros. But I thought in the reverse way: this guy is worse than me in the game because of this, this and this, but he owned me here, just like I did on smash bros vs a superior opponent. Maybe it's inevitable to lose, it's part of the game to get owned, it's even natural!

Just think for a bit, there is my A game, B game and C game, it can't be that I'm so better than my opponents that my C game wouldn't be outclassed by their A game. I've realized that I'm losing a lot of EV on the tables because of that fear of getting owned. My volume used to be garbage because of the pain of losing, I overvalue a high winrate over high winnings.

Then after thinking for a bit, I came to the conclusion that if I played more, even though in my B game, I would very likely make more money. Then thought for a bit: who is the best player? The answer is clear: the one who makes more money. It doesn't matter if your winrate is 2bb/100, if you can pull 200k hands/month, then you will be better than someone making 5bb/100 over 50k hands/month playing the same game.

It's obvious that my biggest problem is not being a good professional, so I will have to break through this barrier and learn how to accept the pain of losing so I can play more. Maybe I can even improve my B game, or manage to play more time in my A game by doing that!

I've been thinking a bit and I've realized why I have no ambition, it's very likely my biggest problem in life. I'm too rational, we humans always look for comfort and to be as lazy as possible to save energy. On top of that, I know that the most important thing in life is relationships, I've got a lot of very strong relationships already, I live in a comfortable house, have food to eat, so my rational brain sees that and thinks it's game over.

I've realized that in order to have ambition we need exciting goals. Farming my retirement is legit a very good and responsible goal, tbh I would love to get motivated every day by that, but it's just not fun. I need something challenging that really makes me happy, and I've been reading a lot lately about cars.

I've always liked cars, specially technology, but my rational brain thinks that it's not a good idea to buy a new car, specially when I have already a very good car to drive, that is safe, doesn't break easily, reliable and fast, maintance is cheap too. When my brain thinks about that, it's easier to think: I don't need a new car, so let's work the minimum and relax, even though I enjoy old school cars. It's even easier to rule that out, because old school cars are total garbage and can easily ruin a man's life lol, so this dream wasn't supposed to work as a motivation factor to me.

I've given up the idea of buying old school cars until recently: I've had a very cool experience that changed a bit the way I see life. As I said, I believe emotions work better as motivators than rational thought, so I had a very exciting experience that made my heart beat faster.

One friend of mine just bought a porsche, when I saw it I thought it was cool. Then he took me on a ride in it, when I saw inside I was very impressed at how many buttons there were, sick technology in there, leather interior, so many cool functions that made me think a lot about the engineering of the car.

As my friend started to drive, the car ran very smoothly, very cool and comfortable, then he clicked a button: something like turbo mode, the car got closer to the floor and got some kind of speed boost that I have 0 clue on how it works, definitely a marvel of engineering. It was sunday, so no cars were on the streets, then he accelerated, instantly my neck got glued to the chair of the car, the sound of the engine was one of the coolest sounds I've heard, very pleasing, it sounded like an engine of an airplane, we got to 100 km/h insanely fast, it was amazing.

During that experience I was really happy and laughed a lot, I couldn't explain why it was so much fun. Tbh I don't seek cars with speed, I like to be safe and it's not responsible to go very fast, specially in the city, but it was a very cool experience, I believe it changed me a bit.

Then I've thought about that in the next days, I've gotten deeper into mechanic and cars, trying to understand more, specially about 70s-80s old school cars. So I thought about my goals, and realized that I really want an old school car, this will be my goal and motivator to work more. I know those are garbage, but I'm fine with spending a lot of time and money with the mechanic, being less reliable (because those cars break a lot) and having garbage safety (tbh my biggest concern). But I drive safely and very slowly, I'm a very skilled driver and never got into an accident, I drive a lot and people in my city are known to be the worst drivers in the country lol.

I've had another experience last week, one friend of mine has a modified fiat 147, really cool. We got into it and it was so beautiful inside, I like when cars were made with metal, not plastic. But the car wouldn't turn on, so we had to push it so it lol. It only worked after we got it going downhill at a 30 degrees inclination with 2 people pushing it really hard, scary.

I've researched many old school cars that are on sale (still learning a lot and studying so I don't get scammed) and found a perfect car for a beginner that wants to get into this world: puma gt. It's a made in Brazil 70s car with simple mechanic (very similar to an old school VW beetle), so any mechanic will be able to fix it, it's very cheap, very cool, but it's slow and the wheel is beyond garbage (mechanic direction lol wtf), I will definitely have a test drive before buying it. Tbh I'm not super excited by this car, but it got cheap maintenance, gotta develop trust with the mechanic too, learn stuff and maybe even change my mind later about getting into old school cars (although I doubt that I would change unless the experience is insanely traumatic). The price is $15k for one that is working well with 0 big problems, but will need to save a total of $25k to have some extra for maintance.

My goal after that is my endgame though, I believe if nothing changes it will be insane: I really enjoy old school cadillacs. They were very rare in Brazil, so there are few of them left, most are destroyed, total garbage cars. But I've found out 3-4 that look to be in a good condition (and aren't super expensive). I believe I will need to save $100k for one of those (around $50k for the car and more $50k for maintenance).

So I've got a very sick goal now, will definitely work towards it, really happy and my heart is beating faster, it's a different way to live. I know it's a dumb goal, but let's see where it gets me. I was thinking about just grinding nl200 and making some safe and easy money to live comfortably, but with this goal I will have to play higher, will focus more so I can beat HS.

BB shows J K (Four of a Kind, Jacks)
(Pre 13%, Flop 99.9%, Turn 100%)
Hero mucks A A (Full House, Aces full of Jacks)
(Pre 87%, Flop 0.1%, Turn 0%)
BB wins 30.96 BB

Hero shows 8 A (Flush, Ace High)
(Pre 31%, Flop 49%, Turn 33%)
BB mucks K A (One Pair, Tens)
(Pre 69%, Flop 51%, Turn 67%)
Hero wins 85.3 BB