imagine playing mtts for a living looooooool

I have an old pair of Nike Zooms that I really need to upgrade at some point but they were always good. As long as you go to a running store and have someone who's somewhat knowledgeable help you you'll find a good pair.

Well thanks for chiming in! I was also a collegiate runner and played a lot of hours as a side gig in college while not considering myself a pro.

I've gone through plenty of phases where I get really motivated for a little while, run every day, then just miss a day and for some reason don't run for a long time again. I think the key for me is to just run when I'm feeling it but really try to never let it get to more than a few days in a row of no running. I'm hoping this stretch I've gone on since going on that run will stick in my head forever now.

Another nice winning day today, similar to yesterday in that it was really disappointing but I ran very well and made money. This time it was an 8th place in the $215 circuit event on WSOP for $2400. I won a couple flips then A9>KQ all in on Q94 for a massive pot. Like the amount of chips wasn't massive but every WSOP tourney turns into a turbo so defending bb then x/jamming flop for 13bbs total or w/e is inf. Then won A9>AT for another double. Finally busted 8th 33<AQs. Was all in for my last 9bbs. If I win the 20bb pot I'm 2/8. The structure is just an absolute **** show. With 27K and a ring up top it hurts to lose that flip. But again, ran like god throughout, am out of makeup because of the run good, still broke but have a chance to make money again. Gotta look at the bright side!

I've just got through all 58 pages of this in several sessions! There's some interesting and inspiring stuff in here for sure. In your earlier posts it really looks like you felt some entitlement to win but have been improving that lately.

After migrating away from Stars to smaller sites in the last year or two, I'm playing a lot of similar size/structure tourneys to your NJ ones so can relate to that sort of life. I only play part-time, so it has been refreshing not to have to routinely fight through 1000s of players on ROW Stars (which, if it makes you feel any better, is almost nothing like it was).

Best of luck!

Damn that's a lot of reading, thanks for taking the time! The other day I was trying to think back to what my mental state was in the first couple years as a pro, as far as expecting to win and whatnot went. I think the fields were just so much softer and there were way fewer regs grinding the games consistently. I've had to eat some humble pie to really start actually improving the way I have recently. I'm gonna go more into this in the next update but our fields and prize pools have been going up quite a bit recently. I'm really optimistic about the future of poker in NJ and hopefully the US.

A Much Needed Heater

The rungood (and playgood?) has continued since the last update and I've finally been able to put some real money in the bank. Still not a massive amount and most of it will be used for taxes and bills but it feels good to be able to breathe again. I'm getting a lot better at feeling comfortable when there isn't much in the bank and not feeling a panic to immediately change my situation. However, it's very nice to not have to deal with that feeling at all.

Since Last Time

I talked about results since I started running on February 27th up through the 3rd of March. Things haven't really slowed down at all. 6 winning sessions and 1 losing session online since then, including 6th in the WSOP $525 Online Circuit Main Event for 17K. 95K up top in that thing! But I'll certainly take running like god to get 6th. The more I find myself in these massive spots the more likely it'll be that I get that random 100K bink and have the complete financial comfort I've been searching for.

On Monday I drove to Harrah's (dumb idea) to play some of the live circuit events. I mincashed both Monday and Tuesday's events and decided I hadn't had my fill yet on Tuesday. I drove to Borgata at 10PM to play the 2 later WSOP tourneys online (better wifi in their food court then in Harrah's rooms lol). I managed to take 5th for 4K in the 500. Those wins are always really cool since it would've been very reasonable for me to just go to bed after the live tourney. Instead I put some effort in and got rewarded.

Weekend

Friday I went home and went out to dinner to celebrate my dad's bday. Ironically he couldn't make it to the dinner but we celebrated with him at home later. We went to breakfast the next morning and then I drove to Long Island for a wedding. Wedding was fun but there's always that underlying concern of the coronavirus now. I think I'll just be staying inside most of this week. Not really much different than a normal week for me I guess but I'm going to make a conscious effort to stay away from other people.

Moving

I have to figure out the exact details but some time this month I'll be moving from my current house in Fair Lawn to my buddy's place in Fanwood. He owns the house and was nice enough to offer me to live there however long I'd like. Rent is gonna be comparable and it should be a fun time. I'm gonna have to figure out the new setup as far as grinding online goes but it shouldn't be too tough.

Online Super Circuit

Due to the virus all the live tourneys have been cancelled so WSOP, to their credit, very quickly put up another online circuit series. So there will be an event every day for the rest of March. Very cool for me and other grinders. I cashed 5 events in 7 days last week (3 online and 2 live) and accumulated 60 points or so. If I do well with this online series maybe I sneak into the top 50 for a Global seat? Seems really unlikely but if I bink a couple who knows?

New Jersey and PocketFives Rankings

With the results I've been posting lately I was expecting to move up quite a bit in the P5s rankings. I moved up exactly 100 spots worldwide from 413 to 313 but in NJ/USA (the top non NJ guy in the US is ranked 20th) I went from 18 to 17! People are grinding out here in Jersey and the bigger opportunities are allowing us a chance to actually start competing worldwide. I was thinking about it the other day; if I'm 17th/313th in NJ/world, that means over 5% of this top 313 worldwide consists of New Jersey online players. Pretty great to be seeing these opportunities again!

Getting Knocked Down

On March 15, a few hours after my last update on here, I lost $2600 in my nightly session, and continued to do more of the same the rest of that week. I lost about 4k on the 17th, 3k on the 19th, 2k on the 22nd. I anticipate these swings will become more and more normal for me as I continue to get used to playing higher buy ins and bigger fields, but this was very difficult to handle at the time. I think my biggest losing day before that week was about 3k and I often would take days like that pretty hard. I kept my head up though and reminded myself that these massive fields (due to this mini poker boom due to the coronavirus) would lead to massive swings. I continued to grind and continued to lose. I accumulated the most makeup I've ever had in just the 4 weeks after March 15, culminating with a $3400 losing day on Tuesday April 7.

I was tilting pretty hard during sessions, shocked by my luck and was consistently getting worked up over any type of negative variance. I told myself I was doing the right thing though. I was working hard every day and was putting in a lot of volume, way more than I usually do. I was keeping table counts as high as I thought they could be without taking too much attention away from playing optimally (for me right now that's around 8 tables). I was frustrated but not ready to give up. I'd been getting exercise by running a few days a week and on Wednesday April 8 I decided I needed to go on my longest run in quite some time. It was a beautiful day and I wanted to clear my head. I was frustrated with how things ended with my last roommates (we're good now). I was frustrated with the global pandemic we're facing and the inability to blow off steam with a night out. I was frustrated with how poorly I'd been doing at poker. But none of that was really in my control. What I could control was the effort I put into running and really let it fly that day.

I set out to run 5 miles. About 4.7 miles into my run I got back to the street I live on now and realize there was a short stretch of road with no sidewalk or shoulder. No problem though, after about 100 feet a shoulder formed and I'd just be careful til I got there. When I got there, there was a car parked right where the shoulder started. I couldn't really run around it on the street side, too likely I'd get hit by traffic, so I went around it on the right over a thin stretch of lawn. The grass was overgrown and as I went to hop back off the lawn onto the street I went down. I was listening to music while I ran and my phone went flying, I cut my left hand up on the asphalt while my right leg caught some of the curb and some of the grass. And my left foot was throbbing.

It's been years since I've fallen running so naturally I went back to see if I tripped over something or if I just ate **** on my own. Hidden under the overgrown grass was a 6 inch stub of what used to be a street sign. They'd sawed it off without completely removing it and it was completely invisible underneath the grass. I sat back down, wondering if I'd really hurt my foot on it, and I swear I wanted to cry. The combination of moving houses, the pandemic and the weird way the world is now, the poker downswing, and now this feeling of a complete lack of control over my life was overwhelming. If I couldn't even control what was happening to me when I went on a run then what the hell was I supposed to do next???

Getting Back Up

I walked back to my house and my roommate asked how my run went. I just vented for a solid 5 minutes straight just describing how frustrated I was with everything. He was extremely understanding, let me just go on and on, and told me he was sorry and he wished there was something he could do. There was something really nice about him just letting me go off like that. I needed to get that all out of my system.

I felt like I was in crisis mode and something else struck me as I sat around after that run. It'd been a year since my backers and I started the backing deal (April 1). What if they were just waiting for me to get out of makeup so they could drop me? As far as I know they've got 3 horses and I'm the most recent one to join. I'd been kinda negative in the last couple weeks. What the hell was I gonna do if they told me it'd been a good run but that was that??

I decided there'd be no poker that night and I needed to just take it easy and reset. The next few days I'd just hang out. If I really wanted to play I'd play but I needed to put less stress on myself. I drank a bunch with my roommate, we did a big zoom call with friends and played games and all that, and I tried to really just empty my mind of all the stuff things that were going through it.

I had a nice long call with Sean, talked a bunch with Gags on discord, and came to a realization. Gags had no idea it'd been a year and he thought it was pretty funny when I asked him if they'd considered dropping me. For those few hours where I'd panicked myself into thinking that this run could be over, I realized just how dumb it was for me to be worked up over the downswing. Look, I'm not sure I'm ever gonna be able to 100% just shrug off every bad beat I take mid-session. No matter how under control I get over all that, I think there will still be the occasional session where I scream **** when I get 2 outted in a big spot. But when I'm out of the heat of the moment of actually playing, it's pretty dumb for there to be that cloud over my head. I'm not risking my own money and I get to play these amazing tourneys whenever I want. Again, I am not losing my own money when I lose. How can I possibly be upset about that, especially when I have these amazing backers who care zero about results and 100% about the process and the decisions that are made? What a crazy blessing it is to have that kind of opportunity.

Another thing I realized, this one as a direct result of talking to Sean, is that whether you win or lose during a session has nothing to do with the amount of money going in or out. When you stay in control, and I mean complete control, over your emotions, your decision making, your reactions to negative variance, you win. When you lose that control you lose. It's that simple. Whether you make or lose money in MTT sessions often comes down to whether or not your AK beats his AQ, or your AQ beats his AK, or you win this flip or that flip or this 80/20 or whatever other nonsense goes down. There's no control over that and there's no point in thinking about it. The wins and the losses come from how you handle yourself and the pride you take in being a professional while you play and everything that comes with that.

I lost $1600 on Saturday April 11 to get the makeup number to the highest it's ever been, but I didn't feel too bad about it. I felt refreshed and renewed, really seeing and feeling how lucky I am to get to do this for a living. The next day I cut my makeup number in half with my first of 3 NJSCOOP titles this series, an 11th place finish in the 215 100K Phase event Party had as part of their online Borgata Spring Poker Open, and a 7th place finish in the BSPO Main Event. I also finished 2nd twice in that NJSCOOP and won the Super Tuesday the day after SCOOP ended. The makeup number was down to a fraction of what it had been heading into Sunday's session 2 days ago (May 3).

With 3 tables left in that Sunday session I was looking at possibly my biggest losing session ever. As it stood I was down $5500 on the day, in the money but short in both the Stars 200 and Party 215 with around 20 left in each, and at a starting stack in the WSOP 500 6 max with about 20bb. I had a really good calmness about it all though. I'd done a pretty damn good job during the session of not letting any of the stuff out of my control affect me. It was 11PM and I'd been playing since 3 but I had a very "whatever will be will be" feeling as the 3 tables started back up after the break.

In that next 55 minutes I think one bad thing happened total. That's it. I lost a flip for 5 starting stacks to bust the WSOP 500. Outside of that, nothing really could have gone better. I lost an all in in the Stars tourney to drop to 17K at 6Kbb with 14 left. By the next break I had 480K at 10Kbb and was 2/9. I spun it up on Party as well and was 3/10 on that break. Both tourneys had 11K up top. My biggest losing day now had the potential to be one of my biggest winning days ever.

With 3 left in the Stars tourney I found myself with a massive CL and the other 2 guys with about the same stack as each other. Something like 2.2M for me and 400K for each of them at 40Kbb. I was pretty much all in every hand, eventually winning A2o>Q9s to begin HU with a 2.6M to 300K lead at 40Kbb around 1:30AM. I was still 5 handed in the Party tournament so aside from being pumped about the Stars win, this was great that we wouldn't have to play a long, drawn out HU and I could focus on trying to win the other, much deeper stacked MTT.

Well, 7 minutes later at 1:37AM I lost yet another pot to find myself down 1.8M to 1.1M, still at 40Kbb! I couldn't knock this guy out! Fortunately for me the next hand I open Q3dd, cb AK9r, continue on 6d (FD), and river the Ad for the nut flush. He checked a 3rd time on river, I jammed 75% pot and he beat me into it with K7. I was back to a 2.2M to 700K lead, but the next hand got 77 in vs AKs and lost again! I'd now had 2 chances to win the tourney all in pre and gone A9o<K5o and 77<AKs but fortunately still held a small lead. After each of these I just kept saying in my head "gonna win anyway, doesn't matter how long it takes." I chipped back up to a 2.1M to 700K lead before losing 66<A8o aipf once again. I was starting to get a little flustered since Party was still 5 handed and there was this added EV loss in that I wasn't putting my full attention into that tournament every time I lost a flip that would've ended the match.

With stacks now at 1.5M for him and 1.4M for me he opens btn next hand to 2.5x and I rip 28bb with 33. He snaps KQs and we've got one last shot to win an all in or this will be it! Board runs T6478 and I win the pot to take a 2.8M to 100K lead. Phew. 99>A8 next handed ended the heads up, 1st for 11K. I did my best to keep my head in the right place during the rest of the Party 215, eventually finishing 4th for 4400 or so. My makeup was gone and I was going to get to put some more money in the bank.

The key going forward, as it always has been for me, is to keep focusing as hard as I can on the things I can control and to do my absolute best to put no stock into the things I cannot. It's much, MUCH more easily said than done, and it's way easier to do when you're winning. So the key will be not to focus too hard on these results and instead continue to focus on the process. I think that will make it easier to handle the next downswing. I'm happy with where I'm at right now.

I'm happier with where I'm at now.

Good lord what a heater! Congrats, hard work eventually does lead to rewards!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

haha saw that on twitter, nice score!

Sick score! congrats boss

Bink! Nice work Dan.

Congrats on the score! Had to be a little extra sweeter taking down a longtime online mtt legend HU

Thanks guys!

Yeah he didn't win one hand against me HU.



Although I didn't win one hand against him HU either

AA>KK>AJ 3 ways to end it

Congratulations!!!

Gg, congrats!

Haha pretty sick way to end it. Saw a recent quote from him on pokernews after his recent heater online and he said he gets called a nit alot these days which was surprising. Haven't played with him live or online in a very long time but the last time was live close to a decade ago and i remember him insta 5b bluff shoving for heaps pre with trash and showing after

thanks guys

Seems like he plays fine, I was a little surprised at how many times I got walked when I got short short-handed. It's been nice during this mini poker boom getting used to playing against guys who were regarded as online legends or whatever back in the day. Luckychewy, Tony Dunst, Joe Cheong, etc. I've been playing a lot of the 1Ks and 500s (mostly getting slaughtered but playing fine I think?) so I'm just not really looking at anyone as a god or something. It's more just about taking notes on everyone and seeing if there's anything they're doing that I disagree with. Just like anybody else.

$215 100K Win

Kinda bored on a Monday, seems like a good time to discuss this FT. Gonna just go through the replayer and talk about any notable hands. I should point out that I won an absurd hand with about 15 left where I opened QTdd, Dan Buzgon flatted 99, btn flatted 33, flop came 963ddd and the chips all went to me. Lots of credit to Dan, he got screwed a few times in this thing and kept battling back. I started to develop a bit of a dynamic with pure_reason (NJ guy I've played a bit with) where he was 2/14 while I had this big lead. He opens utg, I 3b btn, he's all in in <1 second. Clearly not afraid to bust. Next orbit same thing except this time I have AK and call, he has AQ, board runs out 2 pair and we chop. I think I would've had 2m to 2nd's 600k with 13 left if that holds. I'll obviously take that runout over one with a Q on it though! I ran so good and so bad all in one in this tournament. Clearly the good won out but I was very proud of the way I reacted every time something didn't go my way. I'll get more into that later.

I started the FT 2/9 with 1.5m at 17.5k/35k for a little over 40bb. Average was 825k. I win ATs>K9o to bust a 2bb shorty and get closer to Stout's CL. He has 1.92m to my 1.66m now, 3rd at 1.02m with 8 left. I win a pot vs Matt later to take CL for first time, 1.85m to 1.59m now. With 7 left I go 110k HJ with A7s at 50kbb. CO all in for 340k, we call and get the K42A4 runout vs QQ to get it down to 6. I've got 2.17m at this point, 2nd 1.84m, 3rd 1.47m, the other 3 are all under 700k.

Four hands later CO jams 500k, I iso 99 in SB and lose to A3o on the A73A4 runout. Back into 3rd but right behind top 2 and still have a healthy 32bb. I open HJ 3 hands later, bb defends, I cb flop and give up turn, all of a sudden I'm 4/5 with 26bb! It's crazy how fast these things can go. They can swing down very quickly and it can be really frustrating, but they can also swing up very quickly and it's important to remember that when you see your stack starting to dwindle.

After losing 2 more small pots and a couple orbits of blinds/antes I'm down to 760k at 60kbb with 4 left. All in with 44 on button, SB pure_reason (just gonna call him Brian for now on) isos 99, board runs T4383 and it's my turn to suck out for my tourney life. 1.6m for me now, 3rd/4 but stacks are all close with everyone between 1.4m and 2.3m. I open CO next hand and Brian 3b's btn to 325k and I go all in. Not gonna say what I had here but I think Brian is a tough/aggressive enough opponent here to 3b a few extra bluff combos the hand after I double up with the idea that I'm not going to want to bust literally the next hand. My hand was strong enough to be ai here anyway but it wasn't a spot I'd normally be thrilled with. But with what I said above I was happy enough and the jam got through. I was 80% to be out about 90 seconds earlier and I'm now 1/4 again with a shade over 2m.

I fold the next hand then get back to back 3b's through the 2 hands after, one for value and one as a bluff. Fold the next hand then win another one post the hand after to get over 2.5m with 2nd under 2m. It really is crazy how fast MTTs can swing and how important it is to stay in it throughout. The swings were just beginning though!

Four hands later Brian opens CO I defend KTo in bb. I xc 3 streets on KT989 and lose a 2.3m pot to AA. I remember thinking on river "K9 and T9 get there but I block both of those, I don't expect to see much other 9x betting twice. Also lose to QJ but I kinda feel like he'd go bigger with that. I also lose to AA...uh oh AA makes a lot of sense." Back down to 1.3m, still at 60kbb, 3/4.

Two hands later I have 1.26m and 4th has 1.20m. These stacks will be relevant to the point I'll try to make later. I open Q9o btn and it gets through. Next hand I open CO K7s and it gets through. These pots would prove to be critical to winning this MTT!

The next hand it folds to SB who jams 1.12m with AKs. I was very surprised to see something this strong not inducing. I guess an argument can be made for ICM. I call TdTh in the bb and board runs QJ2dd7dKh . I now have 357k as we move to 70kbb. My last 2 opens might be standard but I think a lot of people choke up at these big FTs and start making excuses to fold. If I'd folded those hands I'd have been out after this cooler. Instead I've got 5bb. It's not much but it's at least a chance.

I get Q9o in the SB next hand and Matt limps CO. I remember sitting there and thinking pretty deeply about whether or not I like all in or limp better for me. This probably sounds dumb but I'm really proud of this! I just took a pretty gut wrenching river to get crippled in a tourney that has more money up top than I've ever won in an online MTT. Instead of focusing on that, I'm focused on playing this 5bb stack as best as I can. I completed and ended up folding post. 4bb's left.

I jam K2o btn next hand and get called by Brian's A9s in sb. Board runs J72T6 and there's still hope! Back to 645k. I fold 2 hands then get a sb jam through. 3 hands later I get walked. 2 hands later btn jam gets through. 2 hands later walked. 4 hands later walked. 2 hands later btn jam. Next hand co jam, back over 1m. I don't get my 4th walk in a row in my next bb as it gets broken up by a sb limp. Pretty surprised Brian and Matt folded co/btn that many orbits in a row with me that short in bb. I lose the limped pot and jam JTo sb next hand for 880k at 80kbb. Brian calls A3o and for my 6th all in in a row at this FT (yep, gonna call AKs worse than TT for the sake of exaggeration ) the worst hand wins as the board runs KT8K5. Back to 1.8m just like that.

Brian loses 22<KT vs Matt the next hand to bust 4th. Stacks are now 3.58m for Matt, 2.05m for 2nd, 1.79m for me in 3rd. I open Q5ss btn next hand, which again proves to be crucial. Btn defends bb with 55. I think I'd be all in here for my 22bb effective with 55. I am glad he did not go all in! Flop comes AQ3cc we go xx, turn 2x he bets 211k into 422k I call, river Kx xx and I win the 844k pot. Again, crucial.

Next hand I'm dealt KK in the bb. Sb limps 80k off 1.65m, I 260k, he calls. Flop Q64r he x, I 185k, he 450k, I call. Turn Ts, he jams 935k into 1.45m, I call, he has QJo, 3.32m in the pot. I've got 581k back, Matt has 3.51m, so looks like I'm gonna have a slight CL going to HU. It appears the worst hand winning at this FT is not constrained to just preflop confrontations as the river is a J. I have 7bb. But it's 7bb more than if I'd folded Q5s on the button or if villain had jammed pre. Once again, these small decisions are what makes the difference between average/good/great/elite players. The best are making the best decisions again and again and again and sometimes that's the difference between having 2bb or being out, 4bb or being out, 7bb or being out. Oftentimes you just bust that stack anyway, but every once in a while you come back from it and the difference is 5 figures.

I fold 2 hands then get walked. Fold sb, jam btn, get walked. Jam sb, defend bb and x/jam J94r (this was a very sick one to get through), back to 1.16m at 80k! Fold sb, fold btn, get walked. Fold sb, then get dealt KThh on the button. Just wanna point out, there are 9 hands left in this tournament. I'm all in, bb calls KQo. I want to point out this guy has now won A3>99, AK>TT, and QJ>KK on Q42T, all vs me all at this FT! It's my turn! Flop AQJ, gimme that! 8 all ins in a row now that I've been involved with that have gone to the worst hand . All of my focus at this FT has been on the decisions though! I know the runouts and everything have been crazy but in game I've been very focused on what it is I can do to give myself the best shot.

It's now 3.1m for CL (he won a big one against Matt earlier), 2.27m for me, 2.05m for Matt. I am walked AGAIN next hand, raise and win from sb, open btn and b/f flop. Matt wins 55>AK next hand to double to 3.9m, I'm at 1.95m, 3rd at 1.57m. I jam Kc9s in sb at 100kbb next hand, Matt calls AdJc, you know the drill, K62sss flop, 6x turn 4s river and I've got a big CL. Tourneys are nuts. Jam btn next hand, walked one last time, and finally the btn jams 1.37m, I call AA btn, Matt jams bb 1.85m, I click call again. AJo for btn, KK for Matt, what an insane cooler! QJ5 flop, need to fade K's and Js' for the win. 9 on the turn, T's would do it too now! River 4 and for the 1st time in 10 tries the best hand holds when I'm all in at this FT and I win without having to play a hand of heads up.

tl;dr

There was a lot of insane variance at this FT. As I said, I was all in 9 times and the worst hand won every single one. Some of those kept me alive in the tourney. Some of them crippled me when I could have had a big chip lead. The bottom line is I had zero control over any of that. What I did control was how I reacted to getting rivered for a huge pot and being left with less than 8bbs. And how I reacted to it happening again. It is so vital in tournaments, especially in these WSOP birds, to realizing that the tournament is not over until you have 0 chips. The comeback is always possible and you have to be ready in case it happens. Also I'd suggest getting dealt AA vs KK vs AJ 3 handed. This is another recipe for success.

Running Again

No time like a quarantine to get back in shape. Ran 2 miles each day last week, taking off Sunday. Have gone 3 miles each of the first 3 days this week. I just got back from my run today. The funny thing about the last 10 days is the day I felt the least focused playing online was Sunday, the only day I took off from running. I think it's important to take one day off per week from running so I figured I'd take it on the biggest work day of the week. While there were other circumstances that might have led to this, it seems that that plan backfired! The plan is to try to do that again this week and see how it goes. If I feel off again on Sunday then I'll start taking my off day on a different day. I got pretty drunk and stayed up til like 6am on Friday night. I think that might also be a big part of why I felt how I did Sunday so I'm gonna make sure not to do that this week.

My splits since Monday the 11th (11th-16th was 2 miles each, 18th-20th 3 miles each):

5/11--18:02 (9:16/8:43--ran with roommate)
5/12--16:01 (8:07/7:51)
5/13--18:08 (9:08/8:57--ran with roommate)
5/14--15:30 (8:04/7:23)
5/15--15:39 (7:57/7:40)
5/16--15:40 (8:21/7:16)

5/18--23:08 (8:14/7:50/7:00)
5/19--23:51 (8:15/8:07/7:26)
5/20--22:35 (7:44/7:28/7:20)

I normally try to go out slow in general, but every run I've done during this stretch has been uphill for the first half and downhill for the second half, hence the consistent negative splits. I'm not really all that concerned with pace right now other than making sure it isn't too fast. I know I'm a big underdog to stick with this since I always seem to find a reason to get out of the rhythm. The goal is to just go nice and easy each day and try to form this habit to the point that it feels weird when I DON'T run.

On the 18th I decided to focus hard on form for that 3rd mile. Slightly exaggerated leg lift, really driving my arms, and all my focus on controlling my breathing. When I finished and saw I split 7 flat I felt really good, especially since there wasn't really any kick in there. If I had started trying to grind it out at any point I think I could've hit 6:30 pretty easily but again, I gotta make sure I don't burn myself out so I don't plan on going that fast again for a while. Today's run was really good, a little faster to start but still felt relaxed and then a more consistent finish. Honestly I could go a little slower on each mile and that'd probably be the perfect pace right now but I'm taking off tonight so I didn't mind pushing a little.

Poker

Poker is still going very well. I've bounced back extremely well after frustrating days. Lost 3.7k Sunday the 10th, then the night of the 11th, shortly after my last post, I won the "Money May" (this month's series) 88r on WSOP for 6.7k. Tuesday the 12th was very frustrating. In a 10 minute stretch I FT bubbled Party 109, then AA<KK for chip lead with 8 left and 6 paying in Party 535, and finally punted the WSOP 500 with 50K at 1600bb (10K starting stack). I 4b jammed T9s HJ vs aggro btn. Discussed this hand with the crew and they argued a bit between call or fold. Never good when your decision is not an option lol. This spot, and really more the overall concept of flat vs jam in certain spots, is something I've realized I don't understand particularly well but the more I see it the more I understand why flat makes way more sense. Good learning experience at least.

I took off Wednesday the 13th as scheduled then came back Thursday the 14th and put in a good session but found myself 2 tabling pretty early. Had a ton of chips in the Stars 100 and a good stack in the WSOP series 100 freezeout so just got ready to grind. 3b TT in the Stars 100 vs an opponent who opens a ton and peels a ton. He peeled A4ss and it came T53sss so I went from 3/23 to out 23rd there. Just stayed super relaxed and didn't let it bother me. Sure enough, won the 486 player freezeout for 11k.

Took off Friday the 15th as scheduled, planned on playing the 16th but passed out after my run. Woke up at like 9pm and tried to play the nightly stuff but just felt too tired. Only managed to reg 4 MTTs. 2nd in the Party 109 for 2.3k.

As I said earlier Sunday the 16th did not go well! I just felt fatigued and like I couldn't totally zone in and focus on the session. I cashed the WSOP 320 and found myself 3 tabling really early. That quickly turned to 0 tables by 9PM and I just shut it down rather than trying to push through. Sometimes you just gotta realize banging your head against the wall might not be worth it today. Lost 2.5k.

Theme of this post, bounce back on Monday. I think a lot of people make excuses to take off more days than they should and Monday/Wednesday is the easiest time to do that in NJ. But while WSOP still has these big series I'm just never gonna let myself do that. I'll take my 2 scheduled days off per week but just can't ever be more than that. I had heaps in both the Party 109 and WSOP 250 itm, chip leading both for a long time. The 250 didn't work out unfortunately and I finished 9th for $800. The Party tourney couldn't have gone better and I won it for 4.2k. I went back and looked and I went something like 12 for 12 in all ins where I had >50% equity. That is quiiiiite pure.

Yesterday I was very proud of my effort. I think I played very very well in the 1K 6 max and made a ton of good decisions. I had 60K from 10K pretty early and was cruising. I got AKhh in vs 88 for a bunch of chips that could've seen me hit 90K chips. I lost unfortunately but the runout was pretty wild, QJ9hhJx, meaning I had more equity on turn than I did pre! Lost a big pot with AA where I went bbx on KQ92Q, getting a lot of money in good vs QT and checking when I was beat. Finally lost KQo<ATs for the last 23K at 1Kbb and that was that. Shortly later I busted a 500, shortly after that lost a flip in the other 500 to drop to 4bb with 44 left and 36 paying.

This is where I think I've been really killing it in the last few weeks. It'd be pretty easy to get frustrated that this big day potential has crashed and burned very suddenly. But I looked at this 500 and told myself that I'm gonna start stalling a bit so that when I double we'll be on the bubble and I'll have the best chance to cash. I stall, double, and mincash. To add to that, I noticed that 36 were paying but there was a random $50 payjump with 33 left. The bubble lasted a while and there were a ton of short stacks and I know other people don't pay attention to these things. So without passing on any spots, I stalled another 2 mins and picked up that extra $50. The crazy thing is after having 8K at 2Kbb, I was a flip away from having 85K at 3Kbb but it didn't work out in this one.

My tourney schedule yesterday: 1x1K bullet, 4x500 bullets, 1x300 bullet, 2x250 bullets, 3x109 bullets, and 3 50r units. I cashed all of this for a total of $800. The only tourney I left off this list was the 30r, which I won for 2.8k to make up almost all of the other buy ins. I'm proud of that **** man. I'm grinding hard in everything I play and taking pride in every tournament. Even the ones where wins don't get me out of the red on the day. Instead of a 3.5k losing day yesterday, I stayed in it in that little 30r and turned it into a $700 losing day. That stuff really adds up in the long run.

Running

My exercise routine is going very well. Saturday completed the 3rd consecutive week of running 6 days then taking off Sunday. Splits since last update:

5/21--14:41 (7:44/6:53)
5/22--39:21 (7:47/7:51/7:48/7:56/7:54)
5/23--15:58 (8:03/7:52)

5/25--14:34 (7:25/7:06)
5/26--31:40 (8:02/8:02/7:53/7:39)
5/27--30:16 (7:42/7:37/7:29/7:25)
5/28--23:18 (7:50/7:48/7:37)
5/29--22:26 (7:29/7:31/7:23)
5/30--23:08 (7:58/7:42/7:23)

And finally today:

6/1--49:17 (8:02/7:58/7:45/8:02/7:54/7:41/(1:53 quarter mile))

The 6 miles today finished about 0.2 away from my house so I decided to go 6.25 to ensure the full 10K. The first 3.5 were pretty effortless. From there there was a lot of uphill and narrow shoulder that made running a bit uncomfortable ("hope this car doesn't hit me!" x1000). I think I'll look for a different 6 mile loop next time but this one wasn't awful overall.

The plan going forward is 100 miles in June. If I average 4 miles per day that'd be 24 miles per week, 96 miles through June 28, then 2 days to get that last 4 in. I'll also attempt to make 3 miles my shortest run going forwards, replacing that 2 mile mark I'd already had set up.

Poker

Things continue to go well here too. My head is where it needs to be which is by far the most important factor. My confidence level is high and I feel like I'm deeply thinking through every hand I play, regardless of how many tables I have up. That fear/anxiety/stress/whatever else you'd like to call it is at an all time low while I play. When I'm 8/12 in a tournament with 10K up top, "alright just keep playing your game, stay in this, you can do this, you got this" has been replaced with "whose BB can I open wider on, which seat is best to open from here, do I want to open shove this stack size or continue opening small, do I have enough chips to have a non-all-in 3b range here, what's the best way to exploit this guy's weak strat, who's scared of being in this moment and is reassuring themselves that they can do it right now and how do I take advantage of that??"

I made more money in May than I did in 2019. Some things that went into this, many of them working together:

--Mindset
--Volume
--Effort Level
--Focus on Decisions rather than Results
--Sticking to a Schedule
--Running
--Eating Better
--Fearlessness
--Positive Variance

I had A LOT of close calls in May. A lot of 8th place finishes with 5 figures up top. I don't think I dwelled on any of those for more than 10 minutes, and when I dared to think about a poor result for a full 10 minutes, it was my last tournament of the session and there was no more poker left that needed my attention.

I had several sessions where I know I would have checked out in the past. Only 2 tourneys left after busting my biggest sweat of the night. Multiple times I sat there and focused on the last 2, much smaller tournaments and won one of them to take a -3K day and turn it into a breakeven day. I think I'm much prouder of those days than I am of the 23K score I had on May 5. It's easy to stay focused and grind when there's a clear big payoff potentially waiting at the end. It's very difficult to stay focused when the biggest payoff is a breakeven day and you know there's a very high chance you'll have a disappointing finish anyway. None of this has phased me this month and I've focused on every tournament with the attention a professional should.

I've been coaching more consistently again and I really enjoy it. My students have been putting in great effort and asking great questions and it's been a pleasure working with them. Coaching allows me to combine 2 of my greatest loves in life, poker and teaching. It makes me feel like getting my math/education degrees weren't all for naught.

On Wednesday April 8, less than 2 months ago, I was in the most makeup of my life. I went on a run and sprawled out over the blacktop, so close to the end of my run that I could see my house. I hadn't felt as awful as I did in that moment in a very long time. But I got up, brushed myself off, and started to take the necessary steps to improve my situation. On April 9 I tore off 2 sheets of paper from a notepad and wrote a message on each. One says "Focus On DECISIONS." The other says "You win if you stay in CONTROL." These papers haven't moved from that same spot on my desk ever since. Any time I start to feel anxiety or nervousness or any sort of negative feeling I look at those words and feel an immediate sense of calm. If I focus on doing everything I can do and I stay in complete control, I win. It's that simple.

I'm taking tonight. I will put in a good Tuesday session tomorrow. Wednesday begins 12 consecutive nights of a WSOP circuit event every night with every tourney having a 6 figure guarantee. I'll try to carry everything I did correctly in May over into June.

good **** dude, gl in june

Thanks man, appreciate you always encouraging me in here and giving me advice.

This is a great mindset! Thinking this way helps hugely in making the most of your opportunities.

Best of luck!

FOCUS ON DECISIONS

YOU WIN IF YOU STAY IN CONTROL!!

Great post Dan, keep grinding and here is to a profitable June!!