Go go go!

We started to talk about a deal 3 handed but couldn't reach an agreement. Got QQ in vs AQ of the better player who had more chips of the other 2, board ran J5J5A. Would've had 1.8M to 300K lead heads up but now it was something like 900K-900K-300K. Eventually busted the shorty and chopped evenly for $8400 each. Bittersweet because I'm disappointed I didn't win it outright and finally hit my 5 figure score. That being said, $8400 is my new biggest score, I technically got the win because I had 1.1M to 1.0M when we chopped (opponent was a good player who actually chopped Parx this past weekend for 100K), and I proved to myself I could close in the Sunday majors. Eventually QQ will ****ing hold but I'll have to continue grinding to get to that point. I'll do a more detailed write up tomorrow but I ended up with a $9500 winning day and 2 top 4 finishes in the WSOP and Party Sunday majors. Big big day for me.

Great work man!

Just finish reading from the start. Great job on all the success. I just moved to vegas to become a full time pro. Been thinking about making a blog. Keep up all the hard. GL at the tables hope you take down one of the SCOOP EVENT down

By the time I wrote up the post I have seen you chop it heads up nice job man.

Thanks dude!

Thanks for reading it all! Good luck on your move and let me know if you create a blog.

Hehe thanks man!

Big Big Sunday Results

I'll show finished schedule/results to start the post off:



$3632 in buy ins, $12599.82 in returns, $8967.82 profit, but $500 of the buy ins was won using 20,000 stars coins. That's a $200 value but since I haven't ever converted them as being part of my bankroll, it was basically a free $500, making the total profit of the day a shade under $9500. All but $600 of the cashes came from the 2 Sunday majors I went deep in.

The $500 WSOP 30K was an interesting one. I ran SO good in a few massive spots. Early I got 33 in vs AJ, flop came JQJ and I went running hearts to make a flush for the double. Later I open AK and BB mashes the pot button. I had about 25BBs to start the hand, ripped it in, he had AA, and I once again backdoored hearts for the double. I won a big flip with about 12 left, but then lost a bigger flip with 9 left for about 20% of the chips in play. That left me in a virtual 5 way tie for last and the ICM game began. Damn was laddering hard, the shorties seemed to double every time the money went in. Eventually with 7 left I 3b shove 55 for 16BBs, CO vs active HJ. He tanked and tanked and called with 44! I managed to hold for the double. When we got down to 4 handed the other 3 players were all very solid. I eventually defended my BB vs a SB raise from one of the best in NJ, who is also a very active player. I had QT, flop came T42 and he surprisingly check/raised. I peeled and he bet about half my stack on the 7x turn. I can't really think of a hand I beat here and I can't really think of a way I can fold. It's just an overall stupid and annoying spot. I called and lost to aces.

The 50K slowly sort of creeped up on me. I was paying attention to that 30K for most of the first 5-6 hours of my session, and all of a sudden I was over 100K in chips in the Party 50K. I dipped under 60K after we hit the money but then caught some heat. With about 11 left I won a standard A2>A8 hand when a 2 hit the river against a shorty. The hand gave me a lot of momentum though by putting me close to the chip lead. With 10 left button opens and I defend my BB with Q3hh. It's something I wouldn't have done in the past but I'm understanding more about proper defending ranges and all that. Flop comes K95hhh, not a bad flop. I believe I c/r'ed the flop and then bet/called off the 3x turn. He had 55 and I managed to hold! All of a sudden I had 25% of the chips in play!

When we got to the final table the only guy anywhere near my stack was on my direct left. I got AK in vs A9 against a shorty and he binked a 9 to move me closer back to the pack. The next few hands I played involved the guy on my left seemingly really wanting to play a big pot with me. Eventually I fell into 2nd place but still had a healthy 25% of the chips in play with 7 left. Guy on my right opens 20K, I flat, guy on my left 3b's to 70K, original raiser folds, and I decide to peel, thinking that if I hit a 9 I might win a ridiculous pot. Flop comes Q95 and eventually the money goes in vs his KK and I hold to move over 1M in chips with 2.1M in play and 7 left.

When we got down to 3 handed I had about 1.2M. We looked at numbers and Party only gives you chip chop. Original payouts were 1st--10K, 2nd--6800, 3rd--4950. Chip chop had me getting 9K lol. ICM, which we looked up manually, had me at 8500. At first the guy in 2nd said there was no way I was getting over ICM. When 3rd said he'd take 120 off of his, giving me 8620, I was ready to accept, and guy in 2nd just scrapped it saying he wanted 700 over ICM. Alrighty then, we play.

Sure enough, just a few hands later I find QQ in the SB and open against the guy in 2nd's BB. He 3b's, I 4b rip, he calls with AQ, and the board runs J5J5A. I've never felt more shocked. I really really really thought it was my time to just run over a major and finish it, but there was the 7% river coming through. I do feel I continued to play well, but that beat shook me to the core. How many times have I final tabled these things, how many times have I come close to that dumb 5 figure score, and how many more times am I going to have to get abused in huge equity spots before I just hold and win?? Eventually I busted the shorty in 3rd and went to heads up with a small chip lead. When I asked if opponent wanted to chop he said he'd chop even. After needling me a bit and genuinely making me think he was going to try to squeak out another few bucks, we finally agreed to an even chop for $8400 each.

I made a comment on Twitter about how I was steamed that a guy who won 6 figures at Parx less than a week ago binked on me 3 handed in this tournament. Some people pointed out that that's a really dumb way to look at things. I don't think there's really any way to describe how it feels to be in my position. To be honest I'm very happy with where my game is and where I am financially. I think big scores are in my future. But ever since I started playing this game 7 years ago I have been around people with 5 figure scores. Then one of those guys had a 6 figure score, and then another guy did, and then another. And then the original guy had a 7 figure score. And then he won the main event for over 8 million. Every week I see someone who I consider a peer bink something bigger than I ever have. I don't expect to make 6 figures in one tourney, I do not grind live as hard as others do and they deserve it more than I do. But it's hard to explain just how frustrating it is to not even have a stupid 5 figure score. It's not even about the money at this point; the difference between 10K and 8400 isn't enough to have me that upset. But the amount of times I've been very very close to that elusive 5 figure score and not gotten there has reached double digits. For me, when someone who just won 100K literally less than a week ago denies me that dumb little score by binking a 3 outter on the river, like **** cmon poker gods!!! I'm not asking for life changing **** here, just one small thing that I want to check off my list. So while I normally would feel bad about whining about a win, I don't feel bad about this one. I've made over 40K this year now and before yesterday my biggest score of the year was under 4K. I grind my ass off, I just want to see that one big bink now. Yesterday was certainly a big bink and I don't want to seem ungrateful. But I just don't think an outsider can really understand just how much it bothers me for my biggest score to be $8400.

Some notable facts about yesterday:
--$3632 in buy ins was my most total buy ins for a day by over $600
--$8400 is my new highest lifetime score and the third time I've cashed between $8000 and $8400
--Before yesterday my 2 biggest scores were 5th and 12th place finishes. This is my biggest score in a win by over $3000
--After final tabling the WSOP/Party Sunday majors 6 times and finishing in the top 4 zero of those times, I finished in the top 4 in both majors yesterday

After the tough April downswing I'm now up 16K in May. I did the math yesterday and I'm back on pace to make 6 figures this year. I guess that would be a pretty sick feat, to win 6 figures in a year without a 5 figure score. I'm not sure if I'm going to play poker tonight or just watch the NBA game. I'll have to see what my roommates are up to. I'm happy with how things are going in poker. I feel pretty sad about everything else but eventually I guess that will start to fade. Poker is a good distraction for it all and I plan to continue to pour myself into it as much as possible.

gg yday broski and gl this summer

Thanks Josh you too, and congrats on your massive SCOOP!!

NJ SCOOP Wrap Up

Some quick stats about my NJSCOOP:

--Events Played: 33 of 54 total events
--Re-Entries Made: 27
--Total Unique Entries to SCOOP Events: 60
--Final Tables: 2
--Total Cashes: 9
--Total Buy Ins: $7555
--Total Cashes: $4729.30
--Total Loss: $2825.70

This only includes the actual events and not satellites. I got into the $1000 event for $360 and got into the $500 main with $200 worth of Stars Coin, so that's $940 in rebates right there, but nonetheless I had a losing SCOOP. One of the craziest stats though:

--Total Profit During NJSCOOP: $12464.14

Now a big part of that was due to the last day, but even before that I was up $3K overall and down almost $2K in SCOOP itself. So while SCOOP didn't go as planned I certainly can't complain how poker went during that 2 week span.

awesome month. going to wsop?

Yeah May has been good to me. I don't have plans of going to WSOP. Two reasons for this. One is that it's so expensive. The travel, the lodging, the food, there's just countless expenses outside of the obvious costs of actually playing poker. The second reason is that NJ online tends to get softer with all of the tougher players heading out there. Last year I had two of my biggest months in May and June and I don't think that was a coincidence. I went on vacation from the end of June through the middle of July and I imagine that might have been the softest of all since some guys only go out for the main event. The plan this year is just to crush in NJ during those weeks. That being said, I'll still play the $200 satty on Sundays on WSOP to get into the main, and if I win one of those I'll just assume it's meant to be.

I was one of the people who mentioned something to Dan on Twitter so I figured I should try and explain bc I don't think you are understanding what I'm talking about completely.

I'm not here to troll or seem like an ass, just trying to help even if you don't take it as such. We have all been in your exact shoes before. Waiting for that break through score that somehow has eluded us previously. While you say your attitude and way you think has changed for the better, I don't think you understand what I meant. I appreciate your hard work and dedication a great deal. But when you lose a pot to someone 3 handed and ur reaction is why did he have to win, he just won 6 figs, I think maybe you don't get how this business really works. When you get heads up with someone and tell him you should get first bc he doesn't even have his names linked on p5s, something is very wrong. I know you wanna be the best and we can all appreciate that. But don't worry about others. Worry about yourself. Worry about playing ur game and the 4,5,6 figure scores will come. Maybe not as quickly as you would like them. But the more you worry and obsess over things like that, the more this game will eat at you.

Trust me I know. I have been there. I do know how you feel. I'm pulling for you just like everyone else who follows this. I genuinely think ur a nice person and hard worker. But work on the right things. Gl this summer. Keep up the good work. Hope to see you there for the main.

First of all, I think you're one of the classiest guys in the game Dan and I don't take what you're saying as being rude or anything.

But the dude asked for $8401 lol; I didn't bring up P5s thing out of the blue. The only reason I could think someone would want an extra dollar would be to get leaderboard points. He's your buddy so you most likely knew whether or not he was joking when he made that comment but I don't know him at all so I had to take what he said at face value. Add that to the earlier "there's no way you're getting over ICM" comment and it was enough to make me want to play it out. Chopping was about reducing variance, not about increasing EV (I think playing and chopping were pretty neutral; he has a slight skill edge and I had a slight chip edge). So all things considered, the comments and the potential for the 5 figure score would make me want to play it out if I wasn't going to be credited with the win. Might seem stupid to others, but I have no issue with my logic.

Again, I think you're one of the most laid back guys in the game and your head is clearly in the right place. I assume you surround yourself with similar people so I hope my comments don't make it seem like I have an issue with Jason; I don't. I assume he is as professional as you are. The combination of several things at once led to me venting as I did on twitter. To be honest I don't really think it was THAT bad but I am normally better at biting my tongue with this stuff. Good luck to you this summer as well.

Also I do want to thank you for going out of your way to try to help me. For the most part I think my head is in the right place but there are always things to work on.

I just meant there was no way I was taking less than my ICM, for obvious reasons, not that you didn't deserve icm yourself.



ammmmmmm I?

Yeah man no hard feelings. The other guy offered to give up like $120 from his chunk of ICM and I was ready to take it and then you said you wanted like $700 more than ICM so that's where I got that idea from. I don't blame you for not wanting to chop though.

hehe...well played and good game dude

Pretty torturous day yesterday. Every tournament was just the same thing over and over, get the money in, whether ahead behind or flipping the money just was not coming back to me. Every tournament except for the Party $535 that is.

Early on I won AA>KK to double to 25K (12K starting stacks). Only 24 entered so there was overlay on the 15K guaranteed prize pool. 4th would get $1700 and the winner would get just over $6000. I was cruising along, feeling quite comfortable, and was top 4 for most of the final table. I'd 3 bet the guy on my right several times and it worked almost always. Half the time I got folds, half the time I'd win the pot postflop. Eventually I moved into 2nd with 7 left with over 60K at 1KBB. Guy on my right opens to 2K on the button. I'd been 3 betting SB quite often when he opened button, and I make it 5800. This time he jams, and this time I have AK! His jam is for almost 40K so the pot is 80K, representing almost 30% of the chips in play. He has QJs, flop comes J high and runs out dry. Paaaaaaaaaaaaain. Mincash all but locked if I win there and good chance I do more than that.

Just a few hands later I open KK, spazzy player in the BB defends, we get it in on the 643 flop and I hold vs 88 to double back to 45K and right back into the thick of things. With 6 left I get AK in vs TT of a guy with 15K; I see the ace first on the flop but a 10 comes with it and I'm back under 30K. There are now 3 stacks above me and the other 2 guys both have the same as me. Eventually I open J9s, SB calls, flop comes J54 and I get it in vs AJ to bust. I was in for $1500 on the day with just one small cash; a mincash in this was worth $1700, so I ended up with a 4 figure loss on the last day of the month. Quite annoying.

That all being said, the month went very well overall. It was my 2nd biggest month ever and had I found a way to win that $535 it would have actually been bigger than January was. I made over $14K and with the -$4500 April, finishing the 2 month span up over $10K total is a big relief. I ended up with $28K in buy ins, way more than any month before, due of course to the SCOOP series but also to me grinding harder, and finished with $42K in cashes.

The next two months are going to be big. With most grinders heading off to Vegas, NJ poker finds a way to somehow become softer. Last year I had a great May and June before I left for Europe at the end of June. No vacation for me this year. Gotta crush in NJ.

Keep playing well. You might skip the 5 figures and ship maybe WPT Borgata or WSOP circuit main in NJ event.

Thanks man I appreciate that confidence. It's funny because it's similar to something my cousin told me the night before I began day 3 / the final table of a $400 tourney at Borgata this past summer. I was going into the day 10/10 with 12BBs and he said "Dan, this is what's going to happen tomorrow. You're gonna find a ladder but then bust 9th." I was like wtf Ant what kinda pep talk is this!! "You'll be frustrated but the thing is, you're not only going to find some 5 figure scores, but I bet you'll rip off multiple 6 figure scores in the next couple of years." It was a very bizarre talk but for some reason I felt comforted by it. It doesn't matter what happens tomorrow, the outlook for the future looks good. Sure enough, I laddered and then busted 9th after getting aces in pre against kings

Reflecting on the weekend, the large amount of buy ins, the great results that still somehow left me wanting more, and the back and forth I've had with Dan and Jason, I'm thinking that my mindset has been slipping recently. I'm pushing too hard looking for results. I'm caring too much about how people perceive my level of success. I think a big part of it has to do with the break up I'm going through but that is still no excuse. In January I was mellow. I was working hard and very excited about the results, but I'm confident I would have been fine had they not come. I wonder if Dan remembers being at my table in the 1K 6 max in September and how I reacted when I lost KK to JJ all in pre for a ton of chips. I was frustrated but I don't think I showed it, even a little bit. I remember not saying a word about the hand, and I remember grinding very hard with the short stack I was left with, eventually making it into the money. With 80K up top that was another tournament that I desperately wanted to succeed in, but I handled myself well in defeat. I hope Dan remembers me as that kind of a person, and not as a whiner. It just gets to the point that when you lose in those big spots enough, and one of your big goals is to start closing in big tournaments, the frustration starts to leak out, even when you know it shouldn't.

Some things for me to think about:

--I give myself very few opportunities to hit those 5 figure scores. On average, I'm playing 3 tournaments per week where 1st is 5 figures. Often the WSOP major doesn't even get that, so that's down to just the Stars major and the Party major, each of which you'd need to take outright 1st to have that 5 figure score.
--My live volume has been minimal in 2016, and if you want a 10K+ score that is where you will more than likely have to get it. The idea of sitting in a card room for 10 hours for multiple days, often to lose before the money or for the mincash, really does not appeal to me. But if I really want the 5 figure score as badly as I act like I do here, then live volume needs to go up.
--On the topic of 6 figure scores and live tournaments, how am I supposed to get one when I haven't yet played a buy in over 1K?! I'm a bankroll nit, which is a good thing to an extent, but at some point I am going to have to branch out. I think I often skipped live tournaments because I liked taking that time to spend with my girlfriend. Without her with me now I have no excuse. I need to start taking the occasional shot.
--I checked my records today since I realized that it has been just about a year since I started playing full time. Including last May (so 13 months, but with the month vacation I took last year it's essentially a full year), I'm up about $78K in this past year. Given this is my first year of doing this full time, I need to lighten up a bit. Those are good results and much more than I'd be making teaching right now. I'm on pace to make more this calendar year.
--I need to start reading more. I got through about 70 pages of Buddha's Brain and then stopped. That book has to be picked up again. It calmed me down and kept my head on straight through the good times and the bad. It also called for balance, and I've lost that a bit. I haven't ran in a long time, and 90% of my day is me staring at a screen. I need to start running, reading, hell maybe even bowling given there are lanes within walking distance of my house, anything really that gets me thinking in a different way again.

I'm not going to take back my statement about it being frustrating seeing all of my peers have huge results while I sit here and slowly chip away day by day. I want that big score for myself and it's quite annoying to come up short as often as I have after coming so close. But it isn't an excuse to feel entitled or like I "deserve" it. Frustration is okay as long as I keep sight of what is important. Fortunately for me I enjoy the grind and I like chipping away day by day. I just want some of that instant gratification now and then too! For some people it comes quickly and for others there must be a ton of work. No one "deserves" the quick score so I should stop comparing myself to those who have it. I'm just gonna keep on grinding and make sure I'm ready when the stars finally do align.

A Really Goofy Birthday Week

I turned 25 on Tuesday and goofy is really the only word I can think to describe the week. It wasn't crazy or overly exciting or smart or dumb or productive or really enjoyable or really depressing. It was just sorta goofy. On Monday the 6th I drove to Atlantic City to meet up with 2 old college running teammates and 2 other guys in order to run a 5K at 7:00AM on Tuesday the 7th (my birthday). My friends Pat and Kyle were both Seniors when I was a Freshman at Ramapo and Pat works for an insurance company. Every year the company has a huge outing in Atlantic City that ends with this morning 5K, followed by a breakfast, all to support the New Jersey Special Olympics. It's always a great time and this is the 5th year in a row I've attended. It's always right around my birthday and luckily for me it was a few days after my 21st bday 4 years ago, so I was able to go out and have fun with them.

I arrived around 6:00 on Monday and we went out to dinner at Sammy D's at Harrah's, where we were staying this year. They comp everything for us so we really dug in. I was still feeling hung over from the weekend, where me and my 2 roommates polished off 2 30s in 2 days, and one of the roommates was not there for one of the nights. I haven't drank like that in a lonnnnnnnnnnng time. So I didn't drink anything Monday night, and around 8:00 we drove to the boardwalk to put in a 3 mile run to get loose before the race the next morning. After that we went back and around 11:00 a few of the guys decided they wanted to go to Borgata and go to the club. I wasn't feeling it, and they get a kick out of giving me money to "play for them" so I went to Harrah's poker room to play 1/2.

After 3 hours I was down something like $300. The first hand I lost that I couldn't seem to come back from happened when I got AA in vs a kid who had like $60 in front of him; board ran something like QsJs4d3s9s; my aces were red. I asked the kid if he had a spade after the turn (I'd told him I had aces already); he said no, I told him I didn't either. He lets out a big "WOW!" after the river and turns over 99

I couldn't seem to bounce back and when my friends came back around 2:00 I told them I would not leave that table until I had profit for them! Well at 6:00 I was down about $650 and it looked like I was not going to be winning! I had to hurry back up to the room, change into running clothes, hop on a bus that took us to the boardwalk and get ready to run a 5K on the morning of my 25th bday on exactly 0 sleep. I knew I wasn't in shape but I also knew I was in better shape than when I'd ran that race in previous years. Even though I haven't ran in a month, that work I did back then seems to hold up at least a little bit in allowing me to not panic when I feel like I'm hitting the wall and all that. I managed to finish 4th in 20:35 and got a nice plaque for winning my age group.

I stayed at Harrah's the next couple days and put in a few 1/2 sessions. Lost $180 Tuesday night (after sleeping from noon til 8PM or something), then won $160 Wednesday. I hung out that night and watched the NBA game on my own. Something about being alone never bothers me; I really enjoy that time to myself. I left Thursday and once again slept from like 3PM-9PM. When I woke up I put in a mini session and ran very good. In the $215 turbo on Party there were 20 runners for a $4K prize pool and 4 were paid. With 8 left I had 1250 at 250/500. Then in a flash of run good I found myself 3 handed and flipping for 8K each with the big stack around 35K; winning that hand would've comfortably put me 2nd! I lost but certainly won't complain about cashing for $740 when it seemed that nothing was going to come of it. I also came 2nd in the $50 turbo on PokerStars in a similar spot where I was crippled with 8 left, came back, and lost a flip for most of it heads up. Again, no complaints. I won over $1100 on the day to get the monthly total back to -$300 (I guess that's why I mentioned the flips; winning either of them would have gotten me back in black in June, but with my lack of volume so far this month there's no way I can complain).

Next Friday I'll be flying to Chicago for my grandparents 65th wedding anniversary(!!) I haven't seen them in a while so it will be nice to get out there and potentially visit my cousins/aunts/uncles too. Guess now that I'm 25 I can rent a car too? My parents will be with me so idk if that will be necessary but maybe if I feel like going out on my own I could do that. A small part of me wants to check out some casinos out there but I'll have to play that by ear. I booked my return flight for Wednesday but maybe I'll stay out longer if I find something to do.

Another NBA game tonight. If my roommates want to hang out and drink I'll probably do that; if they already have plans I'll put in a session. Probably going to NYC tomorrow and then session on Sunday. Taking it all day by day right now getting used to being on my own again. I still feel sad a lot but I know things will be okay. I know that if I see Kelsey is okay I will probably feel much better about it all. But for now I focus on me. I had a good time this week and I've booked 2 more comped rooms at Harrah's for next Tuesday and Wednesday. I'll probably play 2/5 at Borgata this time and hopefully find a way to start getting comped rooms there, which I've had a tough time doing in the past for whatever reason. Playing live cash again was fun and brought me back to when I was 21 and was playing during the semester I took off during college, before poker was regulated again online in New Jersey. I'll have to keep trying the live grind once in a while and with comped rooms during weekdays where I wouldn't be doing anything in the daytime otherwise, I think it's a good plan to play live cash in the day and online at night.

Hanging with the Fam in Chicago

Not a lot of poker since the last post. I've been in Chicago since Friday the 17th visiting family. It's been a few years since I've been out here and it's incredible how much different I felt around the family.

My dad is one of four kids and is the only boy. His 3 sisters all have 3 kids, and all of them are older than me and my brother (my brother is 2 years younger than me). The last time I came out I think my cousins had a total of 5 kids; now there are 10! On Saturday everyone met at my grandparents' house and we surprised them; they thought that only one of my dad's sisters was coming over. When they saw that my parents and I had flown in they were really shocked and you could tell it meant a lot to them to see us there.

Whenever I used to come out to Chicago I often felt like the weird cousin from New Jersey and all of my cousins being older than me and closer since they live near each other didn't help. That being said, they are some of the friendliest people I've ever met and they always did a great job making me and my brother feel like we belong. As I've gotten older I've felt more and more comfortable around them, but I think this was the first time I've come here where I feel completely independent and like I'm my own person. I've always had to rely on my parents when I was younger, but now I was at this cookout running around as the "adult" with my cousins' kids, sipping a beer and playing bags with my cousins when the kids were occupied elsewhere. I really really enjoyed myself the entire day.

"So, how's your job going?"

I was AMAZED at the levels of acceptance, respect, and interest my relatives had when asking me about how poker was going. At least a dozen people asked how it was working out and none of them even gave me the slightest hint that they disapproved or looked down on it or anything like that. If anything it was the opposite; a few cousins joked that they lived vicariously through their "famous" cousin. I made sure to let them know that I'm far from famous but it really meant a lot to see how much they seemed to support my pursuit of doing something I love.

I had a tough time answering that original question though. "How's the job going?" I want to tell them I'm doing well, having success, and making more money than they probably imagine is possible doing what I do. But just blurting out "I'm up 40K this year!" seems really tactless. So for the most part I just said it was going well and I enjoyed it, and to the people who seemed genuinely interested I'd slip an "I had a 20K January and a 10K day last month" in there to talk myself up . It's really nice when the people you love are excited for you when you're doing something as taboo as gambling for a living.

Attitude

Since I haven't played poker in a while I've been able to sort of clear my mind recently. I've gotten very negative now that I'm really reflecting on how things have gone the last few months. I point out the unlucky stuff quite often and focus on some unimportant things. It's time to get focused on the right stuff again. I want to start listing goals, some big and some small, and then finding ways to work towards them. This list may or may not be organized but I want to at least get the ball rolling.

Smaller, More Ambiguous Goals

1) Worry less about day/week/month/year results.
I'm still going to track these and they are still going to mean something to me. But the fact that I feel differently when I play on May 31 compared to June 1 as if there is a "fresh start" is ridiculous. May's results matter, but getting in extra volume to ensure I make a certain amount in May or finish up money in June is silly.

2) Stop caring about PocketFives leaderboard.
It really is a dumb thing for me to worry about. If I end up higher up on there that's great, but being away from home and unable to play online right now has let me realize that being focused on that is taking away from other things. If I want to play live I often think "don't do that, you'll fall behind in the rankings." WHAT. That's crazy talk.

3) Start getting back into live tourneys and cash games.
If I want to find that big score it'll have to come from a live tournament. That doesn't mean I'm going to go crazy, but I do want to start finding the good value stuff and playing it. Live 2/5 also seems quite profitable if you can get the hang of it so I might need to go through some growing pains to get back into the swing of playing that type of game vs those types of opponents. Volume is key and now that I have so much time to myself I have no excuses to hold myself back.

Big Goals

1) Reach a bankroll of $100,000.
This one is gonna take some time and off the top of my head it seems like aiming to reach this by the end of 2017 makes the most sense, but I'll have to crunch some numbers at some point to see if that's too ambitious (or if I can possibly get it earlier).

2) Come up with a daily routine.
This might seem like a small goal but it is very important that I don't use this profession as an excuse to be a bum. I've talked about this enough in the past that I just need to figure it out for myself at this point and do it.

3) Exercise 30 minutes per day.
Again, seems small but I think it's vital, not only in the obvious "staying healthy" aspect, but also in reaching big goal #1. A healthy body is crucial in keeping a healthy mind, which will lead to clearer thinking and more profit.

Wrap Up

I'm coming home on Wednesday. I feel very motivated to play. I think I needed some time off. I was feeling burnt out and uninterested but you can only watch protential and mercier and gags win so many bracelets before that itch to play just gets back into you! Sugarhouse has some 100K guarantee going on this week, with 2 flights per day starting on Wednesday. My flight home is 9AM (central time) Wednesday and I'll be back in Trenton by noon. Looks like this tournament has 12:00 and 7:00 flights Wednesday-Saturday with late reg lasting until a few levels into day 2 which is interesting. 25K starting stack for $250 with day 1 playing through 1200/2400. There is also an option to buy into day 2 for $1100 and receive 100K in chips. Right now my feeling is I want to go on Wednesday and just fire this thing until I make day 2, but I'll have to see how I feel after the flight. I also want to fix up my car at some point--bubble on a tire, check engine light on, fluids are low, etc. I'd rather take it to our trusted mechanic back home in Trenton then drive back to Fair Lawn and be worried about that. So hopefully, bag Wednesday, car fixed Thursday-Friday, either hang out in Trenton til Sunday for day 2 or drive to Fair Lawn Friday and back to Philly Sunday for day 2. Either way, I'm firing this thing and it's time to bink something live.

Cliffs:
--Been in Chicago since Friday, here til Wednesday, enjoying myself and I love my family
--Gonna have a more positive attitude going forward and going to get back into exercising
--Gonna try to play more live poker in the future

Back in New Jersey

My dad's plan for this morning was to wake up at 4AM for our 9AM flight. It was at least an hour drive to O'Hare in Chicago, we had to drop off the rental car, and my parents got an email that it'd be better to get there 3 hours early instead of the usual 2 because of the problems with TSA in Chicago. At 6:02AM we were sitting at our gate. The flight itself took an hour and a half so we waited at the airport over twice as long as we actually flew on the plane.

It was around 12:30 last night that I said **** it I'm just gonna stay up. At 3:00 I took a shower and packed and we hit the road by 4. We lucked out that thunderstorms didn't delay us since they were being called for around 8AM, then 9AM, then 10AM, etc. I was actually back in my house around 12:45 ET but I'm completely exhausted and I know if I tried to play the SugarHouse tourney today I would be miserable. So the plan is to go tomorrow for 1C in the afternoon and 1D if I don't bag that one. I feel like I'm gonna pass out now so hopefully I can actually get some good sleep tonight. I'm hoping that tomorrow will be the beginning of my journey of grinding smaller stakes live tourneys with decent structures. It seems that everyone who has success in the big stuff these days put in their dues in the small live stuff. I've used online as an excuse to avoid these tourneys, along with the excuse that travel and hotel isn't worth it. But if I want 5 or 6 figure scores then I need to start putting the effort in to play the live stuff, or at least the good live stuff that's within driving distance. I'll always have online to fall back on if live goes very poorly but it's not going to. It's time to stop being so afraid of losing money and start really investing this bankroll I've built into winning something big.

Ik i sound like such a fanboy ITT but i can't believe i live so close to you "atm"... central jersey

Btw congratz on making/being up 40k thats sick man year isn't even over for u lol i wish i could turn 21 already :<

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For the small live stuff you are talking about it's not a big deal for you IMO.

You have a pretty huge roll so i don't see the need for you to be playing/grinding LLSNL tourneys as since this is live poker you only get to play 1 table... and the LLSNL tourneys play similar to low stakes-mid stakes MTT online for the most part... which you crush.

But it's just my IMO lol i could be way wrong... for you i don't see 50-100k GTD's being "that worth it"

All ik is that playing LLSNL tourneys are even more torture then LLSNL cash games because if you play 10 hours+ and don't cash well **** right? Esp if it's like a multi-day event and you sit there for hours and never cash? Maybe bring an Ipad with you to grind MTT's while you play i guess lol?

If you are worried about BRM you could prolly find a lot of backers for like 1k+ BI's and it would be really profitable for you to do so.

Anyways someone like you would crush high stakes live tournies easily i think foxwoods might have big buy in events like 300k GTD's or something from what i've heard idk about Atlantic city tho


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Also with the expenses for travel and such if you ever go to AC i think i "may" be able to hook you up with a timeshare rental thing or get you like a pretty decent discount as my family owns one they never use so...

With the travel thing you could always air bnb (google it it's a legit service/comapny).

Yo. Boston playa. I love your thread and how you keep it real. I couldn't even think of being a pro. I have multi-table 12 STTs. The variance of MTTs are super gross. I love the balance of a steady income and poker as a second job.

I keep on making correct decisions in poker and life. We can never play enough live MTTs for variance to even out. But if we do run normally life will be sweet. I'm going for my first five figures score. I'm a huge bankroll nit. I wish you were a west coast guy so I can run into at WPT deepstacks Reno or WPT Bike or AZ State Poker Championship. I'm going to play one of these in August. Supposed to play an WSOP bracelet event but Ms. AlohaJeff had surgery.

Thanks for the responses guys. You're certainly right evox that those live MTTs can be excruciating; so much time for what often turns into low or no payment. That being said, the upside is so much bigger than anything I can get online. I actually played a live tourney at Borgata last week, a $180 "deepstacks" event which is part of a 2 week series they have going. 270ish runners, and after 8 hours I lost a flip to bust 32nd or something with 27 paying. It sucks but it's sooooooo soft and with 10K up top, if I were to build a stack I would have felt quite confident about late MTT play. Also, since it started at 11 or 12, it was around 8:00 when I got knocked out so I went back to my hotel room and late regged all the 10Ks. So I think it's even possible to do both live and online some days. Thanks for the timeshare offer, if I ever need it I'll hit you up. And when I went to Europe last summer we considered air bnb but I never thought about doing it in the USA, that might also be something I look into.

alohajeff, everything you said in your post sounds accurate to me. I used to never think playing professionally would be something I should do given the variance and instability. That being said, with the advent of online poker in NJ it seemed more realistic to me. I also made sure I had some somewhat consistent results before declaring it would be what I did full time. Combine that with being young, still living at home at the time I started going full time, and having my degree to fall back on, and I think I found the perfect circumstances to go at this full steam ahead. I think it's very rare these days that becoming a pro can be the "right" decision for anyone but I do think my situation led to it being alright. Time will tell! Hoping MsAlohaJeff has a speedy recovery!