I was going to update but I lost motivation. I was talking to a friend, and I just said this.
Quote:
I think the main reason I am not killing myself right now is because I would have to actually stand up and find something to kill myself with.
Rationally speaking, I think there's 0% chance I'd actually kill myself right now, or in fact, at any point, but if someone gave me a button right now that will make me die, I would consider pressing it, because I am emotionally ready for it. Essentially I am kept alive by my laziness.
It is a good thing I am really really really lazy.
I had a very good short session last night and I am currently on track with 1k/day. I'll update with photos and stuff. I think I am going to go to sleep before I do or say anything else stupid.