I’m a sad lonely dude who made many mistakes in the past.... I had the perfect woman who loved me but I pushed her away, did her dirty and she’s gone for good

I had a good background, good looks, good education but I threw it all away with too much partying and drugs. I destroyed my health and brain cells. I got a DUI and now cannot work in my field... I’m losing my hair and I’m out of shape. Women don’t find me attractive anymore... The rejection makes me more depressed and repeat the destruction...

I wasted too many days depressed in my home, escape thru video games and alcohol. Poker makes it easy for me to continue this lifestyle, I just go make some money and hang out with degens, enough for me to live off of, then I’m back in my den wasting my life away

I had no future no hopes no goals... no happyness. I don’t know what to do with myself

This is my place for rambling right now.... but I will start coming up with a plan and goals as I sort my thoughts and my life out

In the meantime I pray I run good and can beat poker... if I can take care of this basic need of money I can focus on other areas of my life to improve ...

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Thanks man. First I have to work on my mental and physical. Online dating is impossible when your an out of shape balding dude. I prolly need to get fit and shave my head and go for the vin diesel image at this point. Having some money to spend on the ladies never hurt, time for a nice upswing please poker gods

shave the head, a balding man trying to hide it looks 10x worse than just being bald.

It's never too late to turn it around my man. Work on yourself first, and once you are in a good place, the women are more naturally drawn to you.

Well I had a bad day at poker. It started off good, I was playing disciplined and up 500. Then this idiot pro wannabe who stares me down every time I raise 3bet me. I raise 15 with AQss, idiot stares at me for 30 seconds and makes it 50. I put his dumb ass all in for 200. He stared me down for 2 more minutes before finally calling with QQ. ***** nit. Of course his hand holds. I was still up 300 but went on mega tilt after that. I made a series of bad bluffs and bad calls. The game was dying and I was falling asleep at the table. I finally decided to cut my losses and left -100. I hate hate hate going from
winnning to losing but i couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore so I accepted a loss and drove home depressed. Mad at myself for tilting off all profits. I will try again tomorrow. Currently even for the month and I have a modest goal of $3000. I’ve been on a nasty downswing so I’m aiming low

never play tired man, try to create a schedule and set hard rules where if a table isn't ideal you pack up and go - table selection and personal fatigue/mental state especially important in live play

ie try to do x hours then a break then y hours with the ability to adjust and keep playing if there's a whale at the table or just a really juicy game - it's far better to play too little but in a good mental state than too much and risk tilting off stacks

you should be totally indifferent to someone maddogging you like that - who cares...

if it bothers you, you aren't in a good frame of mind to play - hence the light jam there vs a nit

I really appreciate your input. I have a huge tilt problem that I need to work on. It def doesn’t help when I’m tired too. I need to learn to cut my losses and to get up when I’m in bad state of mind

Had another bad day. I played bad, I deserve it. I actually started off good, I won 250 my first hand. Then I got a bad beat and lost it all back right away. I got tilted and made some loose calls and got stubborn. I could’ve just folded on the turn when I figured I was beat but I didn’t want to accept a 400 loss, so I kept chasing my draw like every other fish. I ended up losing 1600 that hand and was down 2000. Fortunately, I kept my composure for the most part and grinded some of it back. Finished a 7 hour session down 1400.

A 1400 loss “feels” more manageable than 2000 and I can accept it. It still feels bad but I’m glad I didn’t go off the deep end. In the past I would stay and keep gambling if I was losing, playing like a psycho. I had days where I lost 3000, 4000, and 8000 when I said “**** it let’s go” and jumped stakes.

I need to learn to limit my losses in days like these. Fight another day. It will probably take me a few sessions to recoup the losses from today but I gotta learn to live with it other wise I will never make it as a successful poker pro

I bit the bullet and shaved my head. Gonna stop hiding under a hat. No more hatfishing, I DGAF anymore. I have to accept my pretty boy days are over, girls don’t respond to my approach anymore, those days are gone forever. My only hope is to get fit because according to the ladies: Fit and bald older guy = sexy Vin Diesel. Fat, pale and bald older guy = perverted uncle

Shaving my head is my metaphor for being reborn. I’m gonna start keeping track of my bankroll goals on here. I’ll call it “Bankroll after rebirth”. My goal is to get to 100k. It will be a long journey, I have to accept it’s the daily good habits that add up to it and I won’t gonna get there quickly so no more playing like a psycho to try to win 20k in one day, I will only get into games and spots where I have an edge and not risk too much at once cuz I gotta protect da roll

Bankroll: 34700

Do meditation mindfulness when you are in the club/bar dude. Don't actually approach women as such. Women will look at you in the eyes and keep your focus on your breath while looking. Being present is attractive no matter what you look like to the right girls. Girls will invite you to approach them or perhaps approach you. Your right if your approaching women and wanting sex your creepy as fark especially if you get resistance because the girl doesn't have any thing she can use you for.

Your right I need to work on myself first. I don’t even do club/bars anymore; my self confidence is gone. I need to work on my health and my goals first, when I gain some self confidence back then I can consider meeting women, right now there just a distraction. I need focus and discipline in my life , when I’m a mess like I am now I only attract the thots anyway and they fork me up even more

I would focus on being intimate with a woman and not trying to have a ego confidence based on how you look or what you drive etc etc. You shouldn't really be noticing if they are hot good looking or ugly but rather sharing your attention which is on them. Some girls might ask am I ugly which you respond I didn't notice. Or is my bum big is this. You just got to be honest. I never looked at your ass much but now you mention it I dunno should we find a another girl to compare?

Yea I guess I’m too old to be chasing the hot ones , personality maters more at this point, if I want something long term. Tbf I don’t even know what I want right now, the love of my life is already gone, everyone else feels like I’m settling. I’m probably ok with being forever alone, maybe If I get my life in order I’ll have a different view. In the meantime if some girl cross my path I won’t turn her down as long as she doesn’t make my life more hectic with drama, I need someone who has at least a calming presence

I want to be a consistent winner at poker, i want it so bad i feel it in my blood. if i fail i have to get a job which i wish to never do again, I’m done with that world. i don’t need to make much money to start, just 2-3k a month I’m happy as long as I can bring that home on average every month to cover my expenses. i can focus on growth after i get to a point where i see i can win consistently and stay disciplined, and trust myself not to go on psycho tilt. Before, i was having months where i lose 10k dumping in the pits or jumping stakes after a bad beat. sure, sometimes i win doing that, but its not smart, i don’t want that kind of craziness in my life, i don’t want to go in the casino not knowing whether ill dump 5k today, i should never be risking that much, i need a stop loss and respect it, i need to treat poker like a job and be an employee i would hire and keep. My stop loss right now should probably be about 1000, and maybe 2000 on days where the game is too good to pass up and only if Im still playing good poker.

i say i want this badly but i don’t have a plan on how to get there, well i need to make one, praying to poker gods not gonna cut it, when I do that I’m just gambling and not acting like a pro. i will draft a plan and post it up soon

I got bored and I reactivated my okcupid to see what I’m missinng, I turned it off months ago when I was getting no response or ghosted from the 50 women I mass messaged. I uploaded a new pic with my new bald head cuz no more hatfishing and I updated a new profile that sounds all positive and optimistic cuz I heard women like that. I mass messaged some girls, maybe 10, just to see what kinda response I get with my new pic, nothing long just “hi how u doing beautiful”. Guess what I got one reply!!! This girl replied just to tell me “ewww u look like a serial killer”, that’s literally what she said. Are you ****ing kidding me? She ain’t even hot just your average white girl dime a dozen, I don’t know why she had to be a mean *****. Welcome to online dating for ugly men, at least I’m 6’3, if I was under 6’ I wouldn’t even get that one reply cuz I would’ve been filtered out by height by these shallow bitches. Real talk, I think the short guys who are filtered by height dodge a bullet

X

The small mindedness of some people here never seize to amaze me, this guy here who posts with the name dumbostrunks and has that “1/3 grinding and bankroll” thread just had my posts removed from his thread cuz I asked him about his short stacking hit and run strategy. He literally admitted he short stacks and hit and run all the time, jumping 5 tables a night, but then he got all defensive and in denial that he does it when I asked him for tips. I guess his strategy is just that lucrative he had to deny and protect it. Whatever I will try it out next time I go to wsop or a big room, it clearly works, I just want to learn how to do it without pissing other people off. If it were me I’m happy to help out anyone who ask me advice, I don’t deny anything (well maybe I used to when I was hatfishing), but I don’t do that no more, I’m an open book now. **** these hatfishers, if your gonna do something shameless own it.

dude, definitely be posting this in the online thread, you'll get a ton of input

Ok, I will post it on there for shits and giggles. I don’t know if I really want or need more input, my experience with online dating has been absolute s***. Short of getting hair transplants and losing 30 pounds and converting 30 of it to muscle ill probably keep getting ignored and ghosted or be told I look like an incel serial killer

incel is a state of mind, you don't want to go anywhere near that man, once you get that mentality it's tough to shake and it'll poison everything

i have some suggestions that i'll post in that thread but i'll wait until tomorrow hoping some others chime in first - will still post though but mostly the "hey what's up" is something they get all day non-stop so you really got to make it specifically tailored to them - also good you mentioned making everything positive, nobody wants someone who looks like a downer for a first impression

if you skim that thread you'll find a lot of good stuff

search "cargo shorts" in that thread and you'll see a lengthy discussion about clothing for profile pics and dates

Well op why not get in the gym and eat clean? Give up the alcohol as well while your at it. You got the funds to do it and enough time.

things have continued to go south, i didn’t even want to write about it, I was really depressed and disappointed in myself. this is so bad, i don’t keep record of my play when i do bad because i know i didn’t play my best, i want to think that bad session didn’t count because i was just gambling and i wasn’t playing pro poker. but the bankroll number doesn’t lie, the money i had set aside for poker keeps dwindling. long story short, i continue to tilt and play bad, then i went to play 3 card poker which i blew $1000 on. since my last update i lost another $2000 or so from my roll

the fortunate thing is that i don’t have monetary stress. as much as i messed up my life, i did manage to amass years of living expenses from my previous job and some well timed investments. My living expense are low, i have cheap tastes, my idea of a nice meal is a double double from in and out with milkshake and fries. for travel i play legend of zelda and i like baggy clothes so no need to update my closet when i gain weight. now that I’ve lost my hair, i shave it off, no need to spend money $15 at the barber every other week or waste time and $$$ on styling products anymore. hows that for a silver lining?

the downside is that maybe because i don’t need the money bad enough, I’m not motivated to try hard enough to succeed at poker. i want it badly, but i don’t need it. yet. i mean i have my bankroll which is at like 34k now, if i lose it, i can replenish it from my savings, but i really don’t want to do that, eventually i will run out of money if I’m not earning any in poker

i think i need to stick to hit and run strategy until i get some confidence back. my problem is I’m greedy, i always want to win more so i don’t leave, i always want to win more because i always think about how I’m still down so much for the year, i want to get it all back asap. that’s a wrong mindset, i lost a lot of money because i was playing big games that i had no business of being in and then i blew more in the pit. I’m not gonna get back the money i lost in a day, week, month, and probably year. my focus should be on devleoping a solid foundation of skills and discipline, and i have to start small and grind it back slowly. i have to stick with low stakes until i can beat it consistently. i still want to take shots at big games but i really need to just short stack and hit and run like some other people do as a bankroll booster, and not have an ego about it. i can’t beat those high stakes pros, i can only try to find a good spot, get lucky, and run

I’m been doing a lot of reflecting, I made a lot of mistakes in the past, and i really need to forgive myself and move on. a lot of my self destructive behavior comes from the guilt of my past **** ups, and it perpetuates a cycle as i lose more and more trust in myself

The silver lining is your bankroll + liferoll appear to be better than 98% of the threadstarters in these forums.

If you're being honest about your monetary situation you shouldn't be playing poker at all right now. You have the cushion and opportunity to work on your health, study a side project that could earn you $, and study poker. Doing all three of these will lead towards success in what seems to matter the most to you ie pussay. GL

Hey man thanks for your feedback. I know your right, I should step back and take it easy and work on being healthy physically and mentally first, and study, it will help with poker when I get to a better place. The reason I’m resisting is probably because I am really just a gambling addict chasing my losses, at least I’m not in denial, that’s the first step right?

yeah man when you mentioned bankroll earlier, my whole thinking was "this will not end well" because normally these threads are people who use liferoll as bankroll

definitely hit the gym, worthy endeavor even if not out of shape, it'll be a good time to listen to podcasts and just let your mind recharge in between sessions - a gym with a nice sauna is very relaxing

also baggy clothes are usually no bueno with the ladies in general from my experience