yea just pushin 40 psi like its nothing, so sick. There is a special place for sleepers like an old ferrari eating supra

I have always loved hearing the blow off valve, dunno why but i do.

Yea man for sure, super sick cars, dem japs can make a pretty mean engine . And haha same, one of the few ways I can get caught wasting time is just watching vids like the ones I posted above, wasted like an hour the other night

___________________________________________

When I left Calafia yesterday to drive the Durango, I got stopped and asked what I've put into it by like 8 different people from my parking spot to the front gate haha . Turned tons of heads while driving through town, other drivers + pedestrians. Am excited to switch back for my Malibu so that Nick can get all the suspension on and then we can order tires+rims.

Quick video I took yesterday, going to be better once I get my GoPro












So fortunately when I got my blood and urine test back, everything came back normal besides the fatty enzymes in the liver (can't remember what it's medically called in either Spanish or English but is ~ that) which wasn't too surprising. The only other thing that was a bit high was my Uric acid levels which is what was high when Lupita took me to the doctors last year.

Same as last year, I just need to cut out red meat and most alcohol for a while. Also being put on another antibiotic and then will start taking Vitamin E and Omega3 daily as well. Will go back for another blood test in 1 month to see how the progress looks.

Scarily, I had another attack today when I took my antibiotic. The first attack happened with a different medication, the common theme was that in both cases I hadn't eaten anything yet when I took the medication and I had eaten badly and drank alcohol within 36 hours before that. Obv no eating before taking meds is stupid and I won't be making that mistake again, and I'm going to just do no restaurants/alcohol until October 13th.

Susy is getting a Costco membership today and is doing a huge shopping trip so my clean diet will be starting tomorrow, along with the new antibiotic and the vitamins, so will be interesting to see how I progress. If I end up having any more attacks, I'll certainly go and see a specialist about my heart to see if there is something else going on with me apart from the stomach issues.

My lab results, they weren't even close on spelling my name correctly













Due to the attack I had today, I ended up having to take a quick break from SNGs and recover. Susy didn't see the first attack happen but was shocked today when she felt my heartbeat/pulse and it seemed to motivate her more to make sure she always has food that I can eat in the house and ready etc. I ended up eating out last night as she ****ed up and didn't go shopping so I pointed out that the attack was partially on her as there was literally nothing in the house for me to eat and she knew that yesterday but didn't do anything about it. Both seem to be on the same page now though and I think she felt a bit bad, which was by design on my part

I've decided that I should probably take a step back from grinding so hard due to this and focus more on myself and my health. My parents are here from Oct 14 through the 19th, so I'm going to play 0 poker during that time and just do a bit of light sat studying at night while we are watching TV/movies/whatever.

Additionally, from now until then I'm going to play a reduced schedule and will probably continue the reduced schedule once my parents leave and stay on it through the end of October and see how I'm doing. Will look something like this
Mon-Fri: Play 8:15AM through 1:30PM (Bounty 44 - Hot 109 grindslot)

Saturday: Play 7AM or 8:15AM through 1:30pm or 4:15pm (Hot 33/Bounty 215 or Bounty 44 - Hot 109 or Bounty 55/33 Speedway)

Sunday: Play 7AM through 1:30PM or 3:30PM (Hot 33/Bounty 215 - Hot 109 or 109cooldown/215supersonic)

This allows me to catch the highest hourly/ev part of the day so I will be using my grinding time wisely.

May not play on Monday and might start grind at 9am as I have the last 2 days. So maximum hours I could play in a week is 44 but it will more likely be something like 35

Can come back in the evening to study a bit, but definitely going to just not worry about 25bb skos and stick to only sats so it's less strenuous on me and I can focus more on my health.








In more fun news, I will be attending the Quinceanera of the daughter of my mechanic Nick's GF on October 13th. I am actually one of her Padrinos and will have a few small parts in the ceremony.

Padrino: "Padrinos, or madrinas, at their core are essential members of their Hispanic community who act as patrons or sponsors for family events. ... In the Hispanic culture, being asked to be a padrino is an honor and the blessings that the family receives on the special day are said be be passed on to their padrinos as well."


It's kind of screwy as her father passed away in a car accident some years ago, so her first dance is going to be with likely her grandfather and less likely the 3 or 4 of us Padrinos. I told Betty I would really prefer to not have to do any dancing heh, but we will see .

Should be a lot of fun though, it will be my first Quinceanera and I'm paying for half of the party (Nick covering other half) so yea, should be a lot of fun. Think there is something like 150-200 people expected.

For those that know nothing about a Quineanera, it's basically in one sentence the day a girl becomes a woman. Certainly had much more importance years ago and is less significant these days, but still holds importance for many families.

Quick read on the subject









I will have to try my best to take some pics/vids that day. It will also be the first day I allow myself to drink alcohol, with my parents arriving the next day on the 14th, so should be interesting to see how that goes as well...inb4 I am a super sick boy at the party heh


I just finished up the grind and am going to get outside for a while before coming back and lying down for a while to relax. Gla on the tables!

When I don't eat before I take any of my meds I get this sick feeling all my body also. Take care of your self-buddy.

Dude sorry to hear about the panic attacks. I started having them a couple years back. I'm 29 now. If 10 is the highest feelings of impending death, heart exploding, light headed anxiety hell..i've had some 8.5s.

I had 4 major things that helped me

1. Seriously - cut out caffeine. I was a big coffee drinker and I know you like soda. As soon as I cut this out I felt way better. Like it cut the intensity of attacks down to 25% and made them way shorter in duration.

2. Examine your relationship with booze. I play a lot of hours like you do and I was rewarding my volume goals with alcohol...in addition to social/weekend binge drinking. It became an everyday thing for a while. Several years if I'm honest. Hangovers bug out anxiety so hard man. Even just a few beers one night can mess you up the next day though you don't feel "hungover". It's just part of dealing with getting older man. We can't take it like we did in our early 20s. The body and brain are pretty good at telling us when we're ****ing up and going too hard. Just have to listen. A total break for 30 days really helped me. After that I'd choose a night or two to have some drinks and I just stick to light beers only bc i found liquor and wine made next day anxiousness really intense.

3. Asskicking cardio workouts. You know all the benefits of this from what I've read ITT and your others. For me - i bought a nice bike and started cycling as much as I could. I'm a 235 lb dude and didn't think biking was for me and then I fell in love with it. Also worked out great since I obv needed a low impact activity because of my size. Social media fitness apps like Strava helped me to set goals and connect with friends for accountability and motivating each other. The mental health benefits of cycling specifically are proven. Just google it. If you really arent into that just do something and get moving with intensity everyday.

4. Meditation. I didn't know anything about this until my brother recommended it when my panic attacks were getting bad. I just thought you sat indian-style and hummed for a while. But there are guided meditation apps (Headspace) that you just spend 10 minutes with per day and they will help you through breathing exercises and a little introspection. It's really simple and takes no time. Even though you're a beast and poker probably doesn't affect you much emotionally...it's still taxing in the form of rapid fire decision making and very time intensive if you grind full time. Gotta take care of that brain because it allows you to do everything you do!

Couple other things I noticed generally leaving me feeling uneasy or anxious were not enough sleep and not eating enough vegetables/greens.

I hope some of this helps man. Sorry for the wall of text...I just know what you're going through and it's not fun at all. Took me several years to figure all this out so hoping it could save you some time and anguish. Fwiw i don't take any meds or anything. These things alone freed me of attacks like 90%.

GL and keep up the inspiring work, buddy.

I had frequent panic attacks a couple of years ago. The first one was the worst because I thought that I was having a heart attack and ended up in A&E. Every time you have an attack its horrible because it feels like a heart attack. Blowing into a brown plastic bag really helps and taking a shot of vodka relieves the symptoms as well but obviously you don't want to rely on vodka long term and you want to get to the source of the problem.

For me cutting out all sources of stress and exercising every day got me back to normal. Poker was definitely a major cause of the attacks that I was having because it was creating so much adrenaline in my body when I was all in. That adrenaline then caused my body to go into fight or flight mode and my heart beat would go through the roof resembling a heart attack.

I had an issue with panic attacks in my late teens but haven't had any issues at all for the last ten years, so bear in mind that it is something which can often pass over time if that's any help. Anyway hope all is good otherwise.

yes i am, just never got into wrenching on anything. driving and watching tho, very much so. yeah the 2jz is absurd, easy 1000hp builds. years ago getting gas a sick pearl supra pulled up to the next pump, had to talk to the guy. was actually his sons car but it was nasty. like a 93 or 94 with the "newer" body

at the time had my dads 525 with a straight 6 and 5 speed, that thing was a rock. not fast off the line at all but it was solid. not the best choice to give an 18yo and i may or may not have discovered the 130mph limiter many a time.

now i have a b7 audi a4, 2.0t (auto tho =x) which i may do some things to once i have the spare cash to fix whatever breaks afterwards lol. it'll never be a race car but some people put 20+k into them for 400ish hp. its pretty slow stock, but pulls well through mid rpms and handles really well so living in the "country", some back roads are pretty fun. only makes 12 pounds stock but i also like turbo noises.

Hey guys, I really appreciate everyone's posts back and I will get back to them and post an update whenever I can. I had another attack yesterday while playing poker so I cut the grind short, and also had one last night when I was on the computer just studying some hands and eating dinner.

Pretty helpless feeling, I'm only online right now super fast as my computer tech is helping me with something, but otherwise I plan to be offline all day today. Not planning to play today through Saturday and I am hoping to go see a cardiovascular specialist ASAP, my assistant Susy and Ruseman have been doing bits of research and she is calling to make an appointment this morning.

Will be back with a longer post at some point soon. Until then, GLA on the grind and really appreciate the posts and tips, suggestions, and your own experiences for sure <3 <3

Sorry man, rest up, hopefully nothing serious. Take care of yourself.

Yea I've definitely realized that I need to be eating in the morning. I had fasted in the mornings for a really long time, basically only eating food between 1pm-9pm hours and usually to bed between 12am-1am but yea, certainly doesn't work well to take antibiotics on an empty stomach.

Really appreciate the long, well thought out post. I agree with basically everything you said here, and I too have had a few 8.5s in this past few weeks. My first attack, on Sept 12th, was definitely an 8.5+, I had many panic attacks when coming off the xanax but none of them felt anything like how I felt that day...legit thought I was having a heart attack/dying.

We're thinking that my current attacks are likely going to end up being PTSD related, since every attack has happened while sitting here on my grind computer playing poker and that first attack on the 12th happened while grinding.

Honestly since I am making so many changes right now, everything from cutting out caffeine and alcohol to changing my diet, to getting more exercise, add on having problems with my stomach, and my body is basically just in shock. So it's already basically sitting in fight or flight mode and that is likely leading to the panic attacks...just have to rule out any potential heart/other issues to confirm that it is like PTSD/anxiety related attacks.

@ your points

1. Definitely agree and luckily I had only soda to quit. I am on about 15 days or so of no soda nor any other type of caffeine. The 3 attacks I've had since I've last drank caffeine have definitely been less strong than the one on the 12th when I was still drinking caffeine.

2. I had already cut back my drinking a lot compared to how much I drank from 2012-2015, but as Ruseman pointed out, I still drink a lot compared to what is acceptable/normal. Have cut out all alcohol during this transitional period and hoping to keep my alcohol intake to a low amount in the future as well.

3. Yep for sure agree with this too, I have to get myself more exercise. Used to play basketball outside daily and hit the gym as well. Know what needs to be done, just need to do it now

4. I know a fair bit about meditation and having some breathing exercises down for when the attacks come on has definitely helped me. Will maybe look a bit more into it as well

Thanks again for the post my friend, gl on the tables



Yea I have used the bag trick as well and it definitely helps. Unfortunately for me, since I have the stomach issues, I can't drink any alcohol which would definitely help calm me down and is something I used when I was withdrawing from Xanax and having panic attacks back in 2014.

I agree exactly with what you say, all of my attacks have happened while I've been grinding or studying poker and I think due to all the changes I'm making, my body is basically in/very close to fight or flight mode an unhealthy amount of the time, and any little trigger is setting an attack off.

Haha sick, your dads car sounds sweet as well. I haven't had the chance to drive enough nice, souped up cars, especially anything from the older years. Is definitely something I need to try to get around to in my future, driving different souped up cars from different decades. Love a lot of 70s and 80s makes and is a shame I've never driven one.

Those audis are pretty nice, but I'm almost positive my mechanic has said the turbos go out pretty damn quickly on them. Not sure if true/false, he's also super picky so obv talking about the size of the turbo, but they are pretty decent little cars even at stock. You bringing up the back roads makes me think of the time I drove the 7 series BMW of one of my lady friends here in Rosarito; it handled really well on the rough terrain and I was pretty impressed (inlove)

Yea for sure man, I am trying! Gl if you're grinding this weekend



____________________________________________

So quick update on what has happened. I managed to get squeezed in to see a cardiovascular expert, basically told Susy I really needed to be seen ASAP, especially since I cannot even work right now which makes it even more urgent.

I had an EKG last night and I go back for another test on Saturday, I can't remember what it was called in English, was written as ECOTT or something like that by the doctor. Going to be something similar to an EKG ofc but focusing on another part of the heart.

I am currently wearing one of those 24 hour monitor things that takes your blood pressure every 30 mins and I think is tracking other vitals as well. Sleeping last night was a *****, woke up basically every 30 minutes as it did the blood pressure test. Luckily I only have 7 more hours with this MFer on , hopefully won't have to wear it again















The doctor told me to resume my normal activities while wearing the monitor. That seems like a good sign, if the EKG came back looking kind of bad or he thought something super serious was going on, I would assume he would have added something like 'don't do anything too strenuous' or 'don't do X, Y or Z.'

My blood pressure was super high last night in their office, 157 over 97 and like 164 over 99 or something very close to this. Last week when it was taken twice it was just a bit out of range, like 128 over 88 type numbers or something close to that.

I think a lot of it had to due with the fact I had just had 3 attacks in the previous 2 days, along with the fact that I hate going to doctors offices, I was already nervous about trying to figure out what's wrong with me, etc etc. Additionally, after the BP tests last week and before the BP tests last night, I had been taking different medications, which can definitely cause BP to rise.

So yea, hopefully after this round of tests, my heart will officially be cleared of any issue and then from wearing this monitor we'll be able to see how my BP did during a 24 hour period of time to see if it's consistently too high or if it was extra high due to the circumstances. Then it just comes down to figuring out if it's just due to the high BP or if it's more anxiety related attacks, and then of course how to deal with it.

Ruseman, Shana and I are all just hoping that my body is just in a lot of shock due to all the changes that I'm making. Caffeine withdrawal alone is really hard on the body, add on alcohol withdrawal, changing diet, stomach issues, still grinding hard during WCOOP and then continuing to grind afterwards, and maybe my body was just put into overload.





Anyway, that's the update I have for now. Going to get back offline for a bit before playing a quick session while wearing the monitor. Gla on the grind





Oh yea, forgot my assistant Susy was hoping to get some likes on the tutorial video that she and her friend+hair stylist did when she changed her hair up, if any of you want to quickly click and click like it would be (hifive) (hifive)

And to not have the update just being about my lol_health problems, here's a couple poker graphs!


Updated challenge graph: Obviously not going to hit the 300k games but think I've proven my point nicely with this profit amount at <100










Also yesterday I shared a memory for I believe the first time on facebook. Flashback to WCOOP 2015, the last COOP of the SNE era







And what I posted in my comment today, insane how hard I smashed $720 and under that series and insane how much action we had at $181-$720, I remember the traffic being absolutely amazing

dont go dying on me young king

blessings in abundance(clasped hands)

Hell yeah dude - you're really good about responding to comments and hitting the points people bring up in your thread. Continue to have an open mind and I'm sure you'll get through this period of anxiousness taunting and worrying you.

Assuming your monitors and results check out and you're ultimately fine...remember that panic attacks are 100% mental. They mimic the symptoms of other physical conditions and they evoke a ton of fear and temporary depression...but it's all mental.

Clearly nobody with your results in poker can achieve so much without conquering mindset. You can do the same thing to conquer these episodes. Meditation helps immensely so I'm glad you're tapped into that world.

Youtube "positive affirmations" for those times you you don't feel yourself or grinding/life seems overwhelming.

You got this dude!

What he said ^^ !!!! X 10

We gotta get you feeling right so you can join me on stream during this ridiculous challenge I just signed up for...I need you brooooo

Seriously though, Ollies man-date ASAP for a life strategy talk. Double salads with some bread+red sauce and a couple lemonades. It ain't about the pizza.

Let's switch the game up and get healthy while we get weathly whata ya say??

Bfizz and I ended up having an Ollies man date last night . Will post a full update tomorrow, have news to share about my return visit to the cardiovascular specialist on Saturday too. Unfortunately I do have an issue that is outside of anxiety/stress/etc, for that reason it's super good that I went to see a specialist to get checked out as this likely wouldn't be able to be fixed on it's own and I'm putting myself at risk every day until it gets fixed. Full update tomorrow on that note though!



Actually played for like 4.5 hours today during peak, smashed in EV and my ranges felt super sharp. Felt not great at a few times during the grind, but made it through!

Full update to come tomorrow as I said, have a meeting with my lawyer at 11:30 AM and then will be home in the afternoon


Definitely felt good to successfully play a partial session today. I planned to play 7:30am to 1:30pm but ended up only playing 9am-1:30pm...but first time since last Sunday where I got from start to finish without an actual attack/having to stop early/etc

I will attempt to live ole Bjorn, hopefully you had a blessed Sunday (ghost)

Heyo yea thanks again for taking the time to write out the posts, I do really appreciate it. As you will read below, there is an issue with my blood pressure and in the passage ways in my heart, so it's very good I went to see the specialist. Definitely know where you're coming from as when I was coming off the xanax and having anxiety and panic attacks I did a lot of research into it all and how to better help myself get over it. The mind is a very fragile piece of equipment

Going to get through this and then be back on the grind hardcore in a few months hopefully, jdawg version 3.0 or something like that

Hopefully your first day of the challenge went well, I'm sure I'll get the lowdown when I cruise up there this afternoon to see the pups and check in with ya!

For those that don't know, Bfizz is doing a mini challenge right now and will be streaming on the Bfizz11 channel for 20 days straight






________________________________________________

So before getting into the medical part of the post, super happy with how September went, ESPECIALLY since I've been battling health issues and not been grinding @ 100% and missing full days etc.

Absolutely smashed the games on the challenge in September which was most important of course!















I got caught talking to a few people on Skype and now have way less time before I need to leave than I thought I would have heh. So this will be the shorter version, which is probably fine for the blog!


Anyway, I had the echocardiogram on Saturday, which is basically an ultrasound of your heart. In simple terms, the passageways in my heart are too thick and that is caused by my blood pressure issue.

That monitor I wore for 24 hours told a crazy story. My blood pressure spikes all night long while I am sleeping and then during the day while I am active, it gets dangerously dangerously dangerously low. This is completely opposite of what usually happens of course; while you are sleeping your blood pressure usually is lower than normal if anything and then it is higher while you are awake and active during the day.













The doctor still isn't entirely sure what is causing this, but I am on a blood pressure pill starting today, along with a small amount of Lexapro, which is an SSRI. I had to buy a monitor as I have to log my BP like 5 or so times per day and have another follow up appointment with my doctor on Saturday.

















Kind of scary ****, but hopefully all the positive changes I've already made like the cutting of caffeine completely, ~100% cutting alcohol and all other drugs (1 glass of wine like 2 times per week), changing my diet, getting more exercise, etc etc and then these meds will get me to where I need to be in the end.

I am about to take my BP again and then head out to a meeting with my lawyer who is actually having a very similar issue to me where her BP also spikes during the night while she is sleeping. So besides business we'll have another topic to cover as well heh

GLA on ze grind

Take care of yourself and feel/get better soon man!!!!

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-...s/syc-20377631

Had to google high-blood pressure during sleep since it seemed quite bizarre - looks like sleep apnea could be a culprit?

"Sudden drops in blood oxygen levels that occur during sleep apnea increase blood pressure and strain the cardiovascular system. Having obstructive sleep apnea increases your risk of high blood pressure (hypertension)."

(from above link)

rough news brother, but its great to gain insight to the root cause.

keep crushing and gl on the physical life grind...

I said GET FKN BETTER M8

stay strong, get well <3

#keepcalmandpokeron

Oh btw, maybe a dumb question but do you (or anyone else for that matter) have a HRC code I can go halves on? Thanksss

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