I am the biggest loser. I am an amature with a normal 9 to 5, married, kids, mortgage, and everything that comes with it.
I was introduced to 5 card draw when i was around 7 or 8, and I was instantly hooked. I played my first NLH tourney, $20 buy in, my senior year in highschool in 2004 after the Moneymaker poker boom. After that I hosted a few small $20 buy in 4 to 8 man tourneys at the place I was renting in college, subsequently, I cleaned up pretty easily. I had a knack for reading people, and I played loose and aggressive. It was here that a friend of a friend invited me to another home game. Which led to my first cash game and legit poker session.
It was 2005, the home game was held in a garage and was a $1/$2 cash game. Games were smaller back then so buyins were anywhere from $50 to a $250 big stack. Again, I was hooked and fell in love, even though I lost $100 which was most the money I had at that time. I've had a job since I was 16, so I had income coming in even in college.
I made more contacts and started playing in a bigger $1/$2 games in a neighboring city about 20min away. I then moved there in 2008 and continued to work and play at different under ground games. My recored for this period were nonexistent, but I can guess that I was either winning or losing very little as I did not make much money at my job, and I always paid my bills. Also, I partied almost everyweekend usually after a game.
Fast forward to 2013. I met my now wife we moved in together, and immediately got pregnant. I knew I could not support a family with my salary at the time including the money I was making playing poker. So I decided to go back to college and finish my AAS. Working full time and going to school is no easy feat as many of you know. So there wasnt much time for poker especially after my son was born. I squeezed in a session or 2 here and there, hut no where near the 3 to 4 times a week I was playing.
Now it's 2015. I graduated school and landed a job makeing great money! My wife stopped working and i was the sole provider. We moved to a small town near the place I worked. My first 2 years with the company was BUSY lot's of OT and callouts. So I dropped to maybe 1 session a month 😪.
2017. We moved again for work this time it was in a smaller town further way. I asked everyone I knew and there were 0 games around. Nearest one I could find was 2.5 hours away. On top of that, I was still working alot of hours. I may have played 3 to 4 sessions tops this year😭.
2019 is gonna be my year! We moved to a city for work (same company + promotion). There was poker everywhere! My contacts were able to get me into games, and I made new contacts as well. Now comes the bad part. The game changed and the stakes were huge now. Even $1/$2 games were playing HUGE!
This is difficult to admit, but this is 100% legit. The numbers are legit as I started keeping records after 2018. From that year till now, I have been negative in poker. I've tried reading books, watching videos, live streams, discussing hands with friends! I know this isn't just variance. I am absolutely %100 playing bad. I've lost my edge.
All this is to ask, should I quit? I have lost a huge amount of money. I still love the game and have some good winnig sessions; but can't over come the loses. Thankfully I make enough that my wife has not noticed, and I am able to pay my mortgage and bills. I just want homest opinions and or advice. Maybe a few slaps in the face. Screen shots of my records. Prior to 2018 I have an educated guess of the most I could have lost, the rest is %100 legit.

What are you getting out of it? Would you enjoy the game as much if it was smaller stakes? Do you have a hard time controlling how much you lose and do the losses hurt you financially or emotionally in any way?

If you’re in it to eventually make some extra money and get better at the game, you could just play lower stakes and move back up gradually as your bankroll and skill level allows.

If you just enjoy playing and can afford an expensive hobby then who is to tell you otherwise? Keeping losses from your spouse might be a bad sign, so it’s probably worth really to really consider the questions above deeply.

Gl!

honest opinion is you probably shouldn't play poker, plenty of other strategy games that are more fun and you won't dump a shitload of money in the process even if you suck at it

Yes, I think you should quit.

If you do decide to continue, start by investing in some training and study before playing for money again. But I doubt you'll do that. GL

The negativity you've received so far is disappointing to see. Being able to admit you're losing in poker is a rare and impressive feat of humility, especially for someone who's been playing for a long time. I would guess that the vast, vast majority of people in your age group who started playing in the early 2000s are currently losing players, including the ones who used to play professionally. I think the primary reason for this is arrogance. It's like the feeling people often have toward their younger brother, that regardless of the fact that their age is no longer an advantage, they'll always be able to win in a fight.

I think as long as you're not in financial distress, there's absolutely no reason that you have to stop playing or even give up on the idea of being a winning player. If you're ok with not being a winning player and just want to play recreationally, that's completely fine. From there you only need to decide how much you're willing to spend on this hobby per year and work out a plan to make sure you don't exceed that amount. If you want to become a winning player I think you definitely will need to rebuild your entire mindset toward poker from scratch, though. Forget everything you think you know and build your game from the ground up. Drop down to the lowest stakes that doesn't feel like play money to you and don't move up until you're winning over 50k+ hands. This will take a serious time commitment and it's very likely that you'll decide it's not worth the effort, which is ok.

Peter Clarke, a poker coach who markets toward low-mid stakes players, has a video series on youtube called 'From Losing to Cruising' that you might find interesting. He takes an older student and shows his coaching sessions with him and monitors his progress. The series is only a few months old, but so far the guy seems to be making good progress. I'm guessing the student's situation is probably similar to yours, so it might be worth watching. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6asm...PZ7IZbmLC2MuUH

Following!

I think you should move to blackjack. I lost 300k and 600k house lost my wife had to move into a caravan In a run down trailer park but it was worth it. I borrowed $100 and build it to $2300. Now i can pay the rent food for 1 month if i dont gamble before it gets send to my account. Highlight of my career. Never give up.

Crap I just lost it all don't know how I'm going to pay rent next week. Damn slow transfers why do they allow you to cancel withdrawl? Piece of crap. I'm going to have to pawn some stuff to get back in the blackjack game. I gotta win 1 million and my wife back. I might sell the car for 15k so I can play 5k blackjack. If I lose three in a row I will have to leave town.

Well as far as my wife she never asks and i never offer info. It hasnt hurt me YET, financially. Still do everything we want to do vavcations, birthday partys, big gifts. So money isn't the issue. I do love the game. I dont gamble in any other way unless it's a small amount in Casinos in between sessions. As far as lowering stakes. It's hard to find lower stakes where I am. Id have to drive a couple hours minimum.

Like what?

@gertrude1951 Thanks! I appreciate the words and advise

Do you still enjoy the game? What do you think is your main reason for playing now? To get away from the house? To make money? The drive to compete?

If you still enjoy the game and love playing there's no reason you need to stop.......however I would adjust stakes/level I play at if I was you. As well as likely take some time away from playing poker. Even though you're not playing doesn't you can't keep studying, upgrading/revamping and trying to improve you knowledge/game. I'd recommend the time away from playing to kinda get a bit of a mental reset in your game. Idk but I've personally found it not easy to upgrade and revamp my game while playing at the same time. I'm just coming back to cash after being mainly a MTT player for 15+ years.

As for stakes I'd why not drop down to 50nl online. For live/home games idk find less challenging players/smaller stake home games. I play mainly online and at couple friends home games. I get into the Casino here a 3-4 times a year pre-covid haven't been since though.

Good luck with whatever you decide or path you take hopefully things turn around for you at the table if you keep playing. I see no reason to stop full time though. I'd take few 5-6 month break while studying improving my knowledge and then step down a level or 2 in stakes/competition when I came back.



Cheers!!!

@mark I love the game that's the reason for playing. However, I would like to make some supplemental income while I'm playing

Yes it would be nice to make money at your hobby. You don't and likely won't in the future. Don't piss away your family to chase a delusion. If there is not a small game start a friends only once every month or so. If you are playing because you love the game even nickel, dime, quarter works. If you need the thrills stop playing.

If you decide to study and take up low stakes online you could have the benefit of tracking software for objective review. I'm sure paying a coach to help you study and review hand histories would cost a lot less than you're spending now.

The skills gained through that process should help you return to live games down the road as a better player.

Just a thought. Or you might be a problem gambler in the making. Only you can answer that question.

That's a bit of a red flag regardless of the amounts. It does seem you perhaps have a gambling problem or at least one in the making. Be careful. It's a slippery slope.