Epictetus - The Art of Living
Just bought this book today on my day off while browsing through one of the many local book stores. I've already fallen in love with it after reading about a third of it. Essentially, it talks about happiness and what we can do mentally to cultivate it.
Lately, something has been playing on my mind and I feel as though it's holding me back. That's this whole notion of making my parents proud. Or rather, perhaps with equal weighting, not disappointing my parents. I have no idea why this has been so important to me, but it's becoming a problem. If I want to do something in life, one thought that always lays latent is "what will my parents think?" Every kid wants to make their parents proud. Everyone wants their parents to think of them as a success. If I go busto in poker, what will my parents think? If I decide one day I want to up and move to Tibet to meditate with the Buddhists, what will my parents think? If I want to get a tattoo, what will my parents think? I couldn't care less what my friends think of all these things... not one bit. It's a terribly grim thought to have, but at times, I imagine if my parents were to tragically pass away, I'd no longer have these burdensome thoughts lingering over me. I don't wish my parents didn't exist, not at all. But I wish I cared less about whether they see me as a success or failure, whether they're proud or disappointed.
Anyhow, in the book, I've gained some clarity over the issue when reading the following passage:
Quote:
Seeking to Please Is a Perilous Trap
In trying to please other people, we find ourselves misdirected toward what lies outside our sphere of influence. In doing so we lose our hold on our life's purpose.
Content yourself with being a lover of wisdom, a seeker of the truth. Return and return again to what is essential and worthy.
Do not try to seem wise to others.
If you want to live a wise life, live it on your own terms and in your own eyes.
The book thus far has talked a lot about circumstance not being good or bad in and of itself, but rather our reaction to the circumstance that manifests the goodness or the badness.
Quote:
Events Don't Hurt Us, But Our Views of Them Can
Things themselves don't hurt or hinder us. Nor do other people. How we view these things is another matter. It is our attitudes and reactions that give us trouble.
This has a very direct correlation to poker. The event of us getting AA in 250bb deep and losing to QQ isn't a bad thing at all. The event is simply us being dealt two cards, villain being dealt two cards, the flop being dealt, then the turn, then the river. The dealer slides the money away from us. That's the event. What causes anguish here is nothing but how we look at the event. If we're able to look at the event in a perfectly stoic and unattached way, no badness manifests at all!
It states from the very beginning that we know what we can and cannot control.
Quote:
Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: some things are within our control, and some are not.
Loads more tidbits of awesome wisdom in this book. A lot has incredible carry-over to the mental game of poker. Would highly recommend if you can find it in a book store near you. Will keep ya'll posted as I make my way through the book!