you lost 75 stacks in 50k hands is absolute sick
allmost allways have to move down to plo 50 or so otherwise good luck

what about reading books or other stuff like solvers?

that makes sense. I guess bottom set unblocks more 2 pair hands against villain. and middle set is less likely to see top and bottom pair on most boards.

unfortunately my Vision sub has ended. not sure if I'll renew or just start slogging through Monker.

moving down sounds boring! I'd rather lose thousands of dollars.

I've gone through upswing's APLOM course which is awesome. it's not 100% exhaustive on every spot, but I'm still getting a ton of value out of it. especially the second time through. I also watch a lot of PhilGOATfond's videos which have been great too

Solvers are ok but probably do more harm than good for most people. I'm maybe on the cusp of getting value, but idk maybe I'm full of ****

Hand 44 - I agree this is a low frequency cbet board for the OOP player, particularly vs a limping range. We are at a massive polarity and positional disadvantage. That said, we still need to retain a high x/r percentage, as our range still has a lot of equity and we must deter IP from betting relentlessly. Your hand in particular is one of best high equity hands you will have in this board. I would think this is a high frequency x/r blocking IP made hand continuing range with the 9 and also his continuing range with the QJT draws. The clubs backdoor equity is also a positive.

Given we want to maintain a higher x/r percantege, the higher x/r size is also not helping us accomplish that goal. Raise smaller and wider.

Exploitatively speaking, if player is a very loose passive fish, x/c might be indeed the best line we can take.

agree with all of this. imo against someone who is open limping we should definitely be looking for exploits and no trying to hit our 17% x/r % or whatever is GTO

one thing i don't do enough of , and i'm snot even 50% clear how to approach it, is to raise for <POT. i understand why we'd want to do it, for reasons you mentioned, and also in some value raise situations. but otherwise feel a little lost

well this has been absolutely painful:



red line still ****... can't tell if it's falling faster or slower than usual.

looks like maybe you need to play a tighter range and bluff more. But again its just a graph I would have to go through your hands. Not saying to be a nit or be super lag but if your red line is falling that far it looks like you might be a little to much on the passive side. If you are afraid to run a big bluff move down in stakes.

Imo don’t worry abt red line, nothing wrong with maximizing blue line in the right environments

i don't think a red line is necessarily something to lose sleep over. there's definitely winning strategies that don't involve a sick red line. However, there's a ton of money to be won in non-SD pots. it's foolish to neglect those spots

i've been getting absolutely slaughtered since i posted my mini-heater. serves me right i guess. in a couple of my last sessions the dark thoughts of taking the roll to 10/20 and just torching it started trickling in. nasty thoughts to have. i've prided myself on not doing that anymore. and haven't done something like that in 10+ years. fortunately i didn't do that this time. but i did take a few days off, stopped looking at my phone as much before bed, went to bed earlier, and got more and better sleep than i have recently.

i feel a lot better now, way more rested. the future isn't gloomy and i'm no longer convinced i'm the most unlucky person in the world. it's absolutely wild how something like a few hours sleep over a couple of weeks can be the difference between a resilient and strong state of mind and a sad, dismal, and overall miserably depressed outlook. in that ladder state every minor inconvenience is now a major one. every minor setback is now a complete reset. not good.

these days i'm a lot better at shortening those depressive cycles. definitely not dumb enough to convince myself they don't exist anymore or that i'm cured.

Thats a gread idea to do it x) everyone did it sometimes though x) finishing off the roll is something i did in the past alot. In someway it is a short cut to resolve downswings. x)

Hey

I finally found ur blog as well. Gonna be interesting to follow. GL at the tables

thanks for dropping by.

next stop: the moon!

narrator: he's still not at the moon



god this ****ing sucks. the suck isn't even remotely about the money. the shitty ****ing part about this is applying yourself to something, fully committing, studying , feeling like you're improving, and yet still getting ass ****ed like a virgin in heaven. i'm probably getting more ****ed than when i sucked even more than i do now.

probably time for another few day's break.

seems like you are just break even with rake paid. for an recrational player not a fish getting enough h to play for that monies. x)

Lmao

September Life and poker

Life
I don’t talk too much about my life in here but I need to vent about the last 3 months as it’s been more than a little crazy since my last update. I had to go home and take care of my Mom due to some absolute batshit insanity that I couldn’t even make up if I tried. I took a week off of work and played some poker but mostly just ran errands for her.

Long story short my Dad kind of lost his mind: in a matter of a month he totaled 2 automobiles, was found drowned at the bottom of a lake, brought back to life via mouth to mouth, yelled in the face of a cop not 30 minutes after being resuscitated, and then filed for divorce with my Mom. My mom had already moved out during the lead up to all of the episodes I just shared, so that’s some silver lining. Afterwards we were able to get him Marchman acted, which is basically the same thing as the Baker act but for substance abuse (“mandatory” 72 hrs in a mental health facility), but then he got out within 6 hours because he knows how to game the system. Holy **** can’t believe I’m typing that out. You’d think I made it up but the details I’m leaving out are even more crazy.

Anywho, with that as my life backdrop, and thoughts of marriage with my long-term girlfriend, plus work, and plus trying to become the best PLO player in the world, something's got to give. I haven’t lost it yet but oh boy I’ve had some sad days.


Poker
August really sucked for me poker wise. Between Aug-Sep I was more or less breakeven over 17k hands. Not a huge sample, but definitely a ton of opportunities to improve. I didn’t study much this month outside of a couple HH reviews and watching some APLOM training videos. My August results are pretty well summed up in the screenshot above.

Fortunately, September seemed to go in the opposite direction than August. Somehow in September I managed to play around 29 hours or so, which didn’t even feel like I was trying. I’m planning on putting a session in after I do this review if there’s any gas left in the tank. My redline for this month was down a little bit but FLAT after. It stopped going down!! This is huge for me, definitely something I've been working on, so glad to see some flatlining there. Still a ton more work to do, which is probably going to be the case forever and always, but that’s poker for ya.



I don’t think I’m going to set any big goals for October, but i’ll still set some modest ones to try and keep myself accountable. I’m probably going to be traveling a bit, and work does not seem like it’s going to chill out anytime soon.

Anywho, here’s some HH:

hand 48



Hand 49



Hand 50 🎉



Hand 51



Hand 52




Hand 53



Hand 54



Hand 55

October Goals

Study:

• Based on how i’m feeling, go through all of 1 section, either flop, turn, or river in APLOM. But at least one of these sections.
• Post at least 10 hands in this thread
• Stretch goal to post 20 hands in this thread

Play:

• 20 hours minimum
• Journal after 100% of my sessions. I’ve been listening to a lot of the Mechanics of Poker podcast (really great, cannot recommend enough) and journaling comes up a lot. Maybe I’ll use this as a forum for my journal. Either way I think journaling will be a great way to hold myself accountable, especially with my emotions.

October 2022 Midpoint Update

October is going pretty well, but I'm not going to post a graph because of superlolstition. I’ve played about 6k hands thanks to getting covid about 9 days ago. It was relatively mild except for a few days where it felt like a solid cold. Overall COVID made for a great excuse to stay inside and play poker. I’m winning money this month so far, but I think my biggest win is the mental game.

Over the last couple of years I’ve made constant improvement in my mental game, but I can really feel it this month. One example: a lot of my sessions start off in the red, and I definitely feel the frustration, but I've gotten a lot better about feeling it, and letting it go. I’ve always been good about feeling the onset of frustration, as it leads to the rage, and then of course just let it take control and ruin my session/day/week/month. Before, I would get stuck in the darkness and wallow in the rage. I would lose sight of up and down, left and right, and just spin uncontrollably. I’d end up spinning and smashing into everything, literally and figuratively. Whereas now I have some conscious awareness of it passing. I know what the rage passing feels like. That conscious awareness of the passing rage helps keep me focused. I know what ‘winning’ against my emotions feels like. Dare I say this part has actually gotten easier.

Anywho, onto some hands:

Hand 56



Hand 57



Hand 58




Hand 59



Hand 60

Random thoughts

I’ve played over 11k hands this month, which is about 50 hours of 4 tabling. And there’s still a week or so left. That’s insane to me, because I really don’t feel tired from poker and still get excited to play. Thanks again, COVID. Pretty sure I could get to 60 hours keeping it casual and could hit 80 hours if I really pounded it.

Even though I’m still stoked to start a session, I definitely feel some fatigue from playing so much. One thing that stands out is that I can feel some of the positive variance starting to affect my mindset, kind of weighing on me. That winning variance where you’re lucky enough to win over a decent sample, and then you start to “expect” to win. It’s always really important to keep that expectation in check, because poker is always waiting to smash you in the face and take you down a peg or 6.

Reflecting on my poker history, some of my monumental downswings and implosions have come from letting this expectation to win run wild, getting validated in the short term, and then encountering the all too familiar reality of a downswing and eventually letting it destroy my world. Not healthy. But this self awareness and mental strength that I’ve cultivated these past few years is my antidote.

Speaking of health. I’m a daily smoker of the finer herb (weed). I was traveling earlier this month and life got busy and I didn’t smoke for a few days before the trip, and didn’t bring any with me. I had been thinking of taking a tolerance break for a while, and this was a good excuse. I ended up not smoking for 17 days, and besides some trouble sleeping/staying asleep, it was overall fine. I actually started getting “high” on being sober. It’s definitely a different experience when you’re normally stoned all the time. Fortunately for me it was really fun. When I got back home I kept it up. I smoked once but ended up coughing up a lung (recovering from COVID) so I decided to keep the sobriety thing going. It’s been fun figuring out and feeling life as it comes without being stoned. Definitely not going to quit long term, but I think I found a new appreciation for sobriety.

Also health related I decided to start taking some vitamins/supplements. I’ve always been skeptical of this domain, but I really suck at eating a balanced diet, so my hope is these can help make up for some stuff I’ve been missing out on. Here’s a list of what I’ve started taking:

• Magnesium powder
• St. John's Wort
• Vitamin D-3 1000 IU
• Calcium Citrate
• Methyl B-12
• Vitamin D-3 & K-2

I think it might be making a difference? No way of really knowing. And obviously I’m biased because I’m taking them. But I do feel slightly better than normal. Taking a big break from weed is probably also helping.

October 2022 Wrap up







Summary
I played a metric ****ton of poker this month. 90% or so of my sessions were high quality, focused sessions, basically A-game, or whatever my A-game is at this point in time. As always and forever, my A-game needs a lot of work, but I’m proud I was able to maintain it for so long. The last few sessions were a lot harder to maintain A-game and stay focused. I definitely had a few hands that were tilt inspired. I could have handled those sessions a little bit better, as I was already playing my B/C game in those sessions. The last few sessions I was definitely feeling the fatigue setting in, and it was much more difficult to stay mindful and focused.

I’m still about 40 buyins until I get completely out of the hole, but I’m more convinced than ever that I’m going to do it. Maybe even this year. The system I’m building is working. There is significant progress compared to where I began.

I’m going to try and spend the next few days studying and reviewing hands before I start grinding again. I also need to catch up on my irl job.

October Goals Recap
On the study side, I read through all of my notes for 3bet pots, and feel satisfied on achieving that goal. It definitely helped keep me focused and zero’d on a more effective strategy this month. Still a ton more I can take away from APLOM so I need to keep at it. It would probably be a good idea to get through the rest of it for a second time before the year is over.

I only posted 5 hands this month. Still have a few hours so maybe I’ll come back tonight and finish out strong.

On the play side, absolutely smashed the 20 hour minimum and hit around 57 hours.

Definitely didn’t come close to journaling after every session, but I did journal 3 times throughout the month, which is a lot more than most other months. It helped a ton. The main value I got out of it was releasing everything that was going on in my head. Once it was written down I was able to let go completely, and reflect on the words I put to paper. Definitely want to make journaling more of a habit.

Without further ado, numbers and giraffes:





Yay I finally beat the rake Still getting smashed on the redline. Lots more to improve there. I’m kind of at a loss for what I’m missing here, I probably need to get more aggressive in spots where I don’t have the perfect/good enough blockers, but instead just have the absolute range advantage. Tightening up in general, and especially vs 3bets might help as well.

That’s a huge confidence booster! Congrats!

Also regarding redline - if your opponents don’t fold enough, don’t worry about redline! Maybe check how often you’re winning at showdown.

Here's the last 5 of my October goal:

Hand 61



Hand 62



Hand 63



Hand 64



Hand 65

ty ty ty!

i'm winning at showdown (blue line in the graph above). people definitely fold at these stakes, but maybe not as much, or in a lot of cases too much. just a matter of figuring everything out and clicking the right buttons. easy peazy!