The Best I've Got
09-27-2015
, 01:11 AM
10-07-2015
, 07:52 AM
Finishing CFP update.
So I finally did it. The 60k euro target has been reached and I've managed to set a CFP record for having finished the program as fast as no-one before. However, CFP is only going to become bigger and I'm sure it's only a matter of time when somebody surpasses me. And rightfully so, because I know I could have performed better, and I also know I could have worked more. Although remembering how little I've slept over these last 6 months, I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself.
There's much to say and much to look back at. But I'll try to just be simple and on to the point, taking inspiration from what Gordon has taught me regarding unnecessary complexity in poker. So basically I'm very happy about having joined CFP, obviously. Remembering having my doubts about whether to join makes me shiver over the thought that I could have also said "no". I've had excellent times, received incredibly great coaching and I guess that what I value most apart from having trippled my monthly income is the no longer existing stress and anxiety that comes from uncertainty about whether I'm playing well / making mistakes, or whether I'm trying to improve in the right way or whether my income will be stable in the foreseeable future. Playing poker professionally is my job, and it's nice not to feel crappy about so many aspects of my profession. I wonder where I'd be now, had I not joined. And I really don't want to know, truth be told. I seriously don't understand how I was able to make 2-5k over 30-60k monthly volume in the first place. And that's a scary feeling. Because I think that one of the biggest fears of a professional poker player would be losing his edge and having to give up his pretty cool lifestyle. That I would not want to happen.
I also feel a bit sad. A very important period of my life has come to an end and I will miss this greatly. It feels like finishing primary school or high school. Except that I actually enjoyed this and got a lot out of it for myself in so many ways. But much like after finishing school, also now I feel a little bit confused about what to do next and which road to take. But I'll get over this and I guess that continuing playing poker could be an ok decision if not even a very great one. Gordon has brainwashed me into believing that I can become the best and there's only one way to find out. Although I'm also starting to miss real life as well. For me getting to a 10k euro monthly profit has cost roughly 5 years of intense studying, neglecting just about every single other area of my life, missing out on so many experiences, and also hurting my physical and perhaps even mental health at least in some ways. Although mentally I probably also have gained something in return. Either way – I should have no illusions about what it takes to get to the top. And I kind of started playing because I wanted super early retirement and here I am on the verge of making a conscious decision to shoot for the stars. I wonder where I'll end up.
As for the future – I'll keep working with Gordon for at least a little while longer. There's still some pretty dumb stuff I do at the tables. Every once in a while some really embarrassing hand pops up and because I've finished so fast there's still some knowledge that I can squeeze out. I want to reach that point where my sensei tells me that there's no longer anything that he can teach me. And after it's time for the next level. I guess I love the game way too much to just stop in one level and keep playing there forever. Much like in other games, that's just dull and gets boring after a while. I want to finally start making 9 high calldowns etc. Maybe I could try that out now that I'm out of CFP and now that I can do literally whatever I want at the tables. But that would be way too embarrassing if I just started doing it semi-randomly and unsuccessfully. I could claim that I misclicked the first few times but after a while that would no longer sound credible, lol.
And finally – I want to say a big big thank you to BPC and all the hidden agents behind it that help it function the way it does, the community, my 6max group guys and most certainly to Gordon personally. Each of you have played a role in shaping my life into what it's now. And it looks like a pretty cool life I will be having if I manage to sort out some problems that I'm currently trying to cure with beer or other substances. Regardless of whether I succeed at becoming a better person overall, having money is always better than not having as much money. Because then at least you can pull of some weird **** for your own amusement if everything else seems boring or meaningless. I wonder what kind of ideas will come to my mind when I reach that stage. That will be fun.
But enough of these closing remarks. It's time for some graphs.
Results while in CFP:
EV winrate: 4.18 bb/100
Total volume: 668 004
Total time spent in CFP: 5 months and 24 days
Not the sexiest graph out there and that redline sucks big time. The overall winrate is also somewhat modest but for my defence – I played very bad poker in August and my misclick/time-out/hand or board misread rate was also extremely high throughout most of my CFP time. So I would wishfully like to believe that in reality I'm doing better than it could be deducted from the results. But time will tell.
NL100 results:
EV winrate: 3.13 bb/100
Volume: 462 209
NL200 results:
EV winrate: 6.57 bb/100
Volume: 205 753
So I finally did it. The 60k euro target has been reached and I've managed to set a CFP record for having finished the program as fast as no-one before. However, CFP is only going to become bigger and I'm sure it's only a matter of time when somebody surpasses me. And rightfully so, because I know I could have performed better, and I also know I could have worked more. Although remembering how little I've slept over these last 6 months, I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself.
There's much to say and much to look back at. But I'll try to just be simple and on to the point, taking inspiration from what Gordon has taught me regarding unnecessary complexity in poker. So basically I'm very happy about having joined CFP, obviously. Remembering having my doubts about whether to join makes me shiver over the thought that I could have also said "no". I've had excellent times, received incredibly great coaching and I guess that what I value most apart from having trippled my monthly income is the no longer existing stress and anxiety that comes from uncertainty about whether I'm playing well / making mistakes, or whether I'm trying to improve in the right way or whether my income will be stable in the foreseeable future. Playing poker professionally is my job, and it's nice not to feel crappy about so many aspects of my profession. I wonder where I'd be now, had I not joined. And I really don't want to know, truth be told. I seriously don't understand how I was able to make 2-5k over 30-60k monthly volume in the first place. And that's a scary feeling. Because I think that one of the biggest fears of a professional poker player would be losing his edge and having to give up his pretty cool lifestyle. That I would not want to happen.
I also feel a bit sad. A very important period of my life has come to an end and I will miss this greatly. It feels like finishing primary school or high school. Except that I actually enjoyed this and got a lot out of it for myself in so many ways. But much like after finishing school, also now I feel a little bit confused about what to do next and which road to take. But I'll get over this and I guess that continuing playing poker could be an ok decision if not even a very great one. Gordon has brainwashed me into believing that I can become the best and there's only one way to find out. Although I'm also starting to miss real life as well. For me getting to a 10k euro monthly profit has cost roughly 5 years of intense studying, neglecting just about every single other area of my life, missing out on so many experiences, and also hurting my physical and perhaps even mental health at least in some ways. Although mentally I probably also have gained something in return. Either way – I should have no illusions about what it takes to get to the top. And I kind of started playing because I wanted super early retirement and here I am on the verge of making a conscious decision to shoot for the stars. I wonder where I'll end up.
As for the future – I'll keep working with Gordon for at least a little while longer. There's still some pretty dumb stuff I do at the tables. Every once in a while some really embarrassing hand pops up and because I've finished so fast there's still some knowledge that I can squeeze out. I want to reach that point where my sensei tells me that there's no longer anything that he can teach me. And after it's time for the next level. I guess I love the game way too much to just stop in one level and keep playing there forever. Much like in other games, that's just dull and gets boring after a while. I want to finally start making 9 high calldowns etc. Maybe I could try that out now that I'm out of CFP and now that I can do literally whatever I want at the tables. But that would be way too embarrassing if I just started doing it semi-randomly and unsuccessfully. I could claim that I misclicked the first few times but after a while that would no longer sound credible, lol.
And finally – I want to say a big big thank you to BPC and all the hidden agents behind it that help it function the way it does, the community, my 6max group guys and most certainly to Gordon personally. Each of you have played a role in shaping my life into what it's now. And it looks like a pretty cool life I will be having if I manage to sort out some problems that I'm currently trying to cure with beer or other substances. Regardless of whether I succeed at becoming a better person overall, having money is always better than not having as much money. Because then at least you can pull of some weird **** for your own amusement if everything else seems boring or meaningless. I wonder what kind of ideas will come to my mind when I reach that stage. That will be fun.
But enough of these closing remarks. It's time for some graphs.
Results while in CFP:
EV winrate: 4.18 bb/100
Total volume: 668 004
Total time spent in CFP: 5 months and 24 days
Not the sexiest graph out there and that redline sucks big time. The overall winrate is also somewhat modest but for my defence – I played very bad poker in August and my misclick/time-out/hand or board misread rate was also extremely high throughout most of my CFP time. So I would wishfully like to believe that in reality I'm doing better than it could be deducted from the results. But time will tell.
NL100 results:
EV winrate: 3.13 bb/100
Volume: 462 209
NL200 results:
EV winrate: 6.57 bb/100
Volume: 205 753
10-07-2015
, 09:52 AM
Congrats man! I'll be there in time. So far in the last 2.5 weeks I've gone from $40 - $90 and hope to be out of 2nl shortly. Hopefully in months to come you'll see me at the tables. 
10-07-2015
, 12:46 PM