It's not pokerstars, that's just how the converter needs to format them

lol guys dont worry about what sites/SNs i play on

(im not going to say and it's not the point of the thread anyways)

good don't, just dominate and get to 50K+, gl!

And there was us thinking you had just missed him asking four times

Sick graphs, keep up the good work man.

put in a 2 hour session for a profit of +$200

my sleep schedule is still a bit messed up from the all nighter at live, although i'm almost back to normal. looking forward to a bit of time off the next couple days.

a few thoughts about fear:

i was afraid of having a big losing session this afternoon, because i could only play until 6pm and i dont like getting stuck before a deadline, and also because i didnt want to have a big loser before taking a couple days off to spend time with my gf. i ended up being a bit tired anyways, so i stuck to 1/2 for the afternoon session, but i need to be aware and work on those mental game leaks. as i get closer to the end of the month i know im going to be tempted more and more to play 1/2 instead of midstakes because i want to lock up a nice winning month. its fine to play some 1/2 if im tired or if the games are bad, but i also need to address the underlying fear that can cause motivation issues and prevent me from playing midstakes the times that i am refreshed and ready to perform.

had a bit of time off and unfortunately i've been feeling a bit sick but i think i'm coming out of it. i played live tonight and played for for 6 hours for a profit of +$500. basically breakeven all night except one big pot where i turned on a boat that gave another guy a flush. i felt happy with my play tonight for the most part, although i should have quit just a bit earlier and near the end of session i overlimped KQ in a pretty obvious raise spot because i was planning on cashing out soon and that is obviously a leak so i just immediately cashed out and didn't even play around to my big blind.

online
55 hours
+$3900

live
43 hours
+$1870

It's almost like you compounded mistakes

lol ya but srsly for readers of the thread i think if you feel you are off your game and need to stop i think it's a +EV habit to quit immediately and i mean immediately no finishing out any orbits or playing one last hand

decent day today on the whole

study group this afternoon with skraper, did some interesting examination on a board texture where it looks like most players would be underdefending to a flop lead.

took my dog for a walk, i'm probably going to try to hit the gym again tomorrow. with the weather getting nicer i'm starting to feel uncomfortably fat and building some motivation to lose some weight for summer.

got a new 27" monitor today from best buy, and it fits 6 tables MUCH more comfortably than my old 20" monitor. spent some time getting that set up, and then i ended up spending some time troubleshooting a lingering HM2 issue that i've been having (somehow updating logitech setpoint fixed a hud issue lol).

got 4 hours of online grinding over 2 sessions for a profit of +$300. up and down session being stuck most of the day. i had to play a good bit of 1/2 due to game selection issues, but i did play midstakes as well. at one point after being down i was close to even and was having some fear tilt and wanted to just quit, but managed to inject logic and focus on a quality grinding process. i ended up stuck again shortly after that but i was happy that i didn't feel to annoyed over the variance. i ended up winning a couple big pots near the end which put me in profit for the day. i wasn't really at my best today as i'm still a bit low energy and recovering from illness, but given conditions im mostly happy with my play today.

8 hour live session +$200 profit

made one marginal calldown against a tight player in a spot where i could really only put him on one combo of top boat for value the way the hand played out and i thought there were a few possible bluffs in his range but he did just have it and maybe actually never bluffs there

i've had a bunch of sessions recently where i ended up winner at the end after being stuck, and i need to be careful not to develop false confidence about this and end up pushing too hard to get unstuck in future sessions or be careful not to let myself feel too emotionally devastated (that my heater is over or other similar thoughts) when i take an inevitable big loss.

looking forward to some online grinding the next few days.

this cracks me up

sub gl

tough day out there today

got beat up over the course of 4.5 hours online grinding 1/2 and 2/4 for a loss of $800

i feel pretty happy with my play throughout, and i handled the variance pretty well emotionally without spewing and when i hit my threshold i just stopped right away. in that way i am happy with my grinding process, although i do think i felt way too strong of a negative emotional reaction in the moment as a result of the run bad - and i need to continue to inject logic and work on the core issues

im feeling a little shaken but its not too bad and i will be fine tomorrow to get back to the grind

online
63.5 hours
+$3400

live
51 hours
+$2070

long day today. 7.5 hours online grinding for a profit of +$150.

got off to a tough start. i was running fairly poorly early, and to complicate matters i had an issue with my account getting locked on my secondary site. i think i had a bit overly emotional reaction to the early negative variance because in my mind i had visions of a comeback day, and i'm not sure how much that impacted my play. sometimes when you are constantly ending up with the top of your folding range or the bottom of your calling range and losing it skews your perception. often times in the moment my instinct is to feel i misplayed a pot if i lost it and perhaps some alternate line could have won it, and then in retrospect the hand is completely standard. i'm planning on doing a spew review near the end of the month and i will be interested to see how much adds up over the course of the month.

i ended up getting stuck a bunch, not sure how much but 3-4 buyins across 2/4 and 3/6. that was frustrating but a positive thing was that i felt numb at that point to the negative variance - my fear of losing big was realized and at that point my mind was already reconciling itself with taking a big loss. so, losing some 50bb flip at 3/6 felt a lot more minor at that point than it might have on other days.

at one point i got all the way back to about even, and i wanted to just quit and book the session but the tables were good and my energy and focus level was good so i didnt want to give in to fear tilt feelings so i kept playing. i ran into some negative variance shortly thereafter and was stacked in a couple big pots. they were standard coolers so i didn't have the anxiety of feeling i misplayed the hands, but at the same time i felt like i did something wrong by not quitting and felt frustrated.

i was able to inject logic and get in the zone again for one final push and i happened to get positive variance at the end and finished the day slight winner. on one hand i feel like i gutted it out and pushed through and got back as a result of hard work, but i have to acknowledge that i can not control variance or my results and all that i can control is putting down a quality grind, and i can't just "try harder" and finish winner every time. however, there is also something positive to be said to drawing motivation from adversity and i do feel like although i played long sessions the end of my day was probably played at a higher level than the beginning.

tough day. played online 3/6 and 2/4 for 5 hours for a loss of -$900.

i was running kinda poorly throughout and bouncing around between stuck a few buyins and break even all day. i had a period of time where i was able to totally shake the runbad and feel "in the zone" and was playing my best without fear of losing, but i also got frustrated with the consistent bad spots a few times and eventually had to quit.

online
76 hours
+$2650

live
51 hours
+$2070

im still frustrated by the dollar amounts involved when i lose, but its slowly getting better over time and there is going to be a difficult adjustment period when moving up.

one thing that can help me is to get a bit more refocused on doing self DB review and reading the mental game and being a little bit more rigid in the structure of my sessions in terms of length and scheduled breaks.

just finished session and feel like i made a bit of mental progress

i was away most of the day, so i planned on putting in a solid 3 hour session with a focus on quality process regardless of results, and try to just stick the the plan of a 3 hour session with a quick break halfway through and play well.

early on within the first 30 minutes i lost a few small to medium pots and then got stacked for a full buyin at 3/6 in a semi fist pump value situation vs a spaz whale. now i'm stuck a thousand and feeling very frustrated as this rough patch continues, but i was able to get into the mindset that this was a good chance to prove to myself that i can stick to the process and plan and manage my emotions professionally.

i continued to play well and hit some positive variance and soon was more than +$1000 winner. at that point i started having feelings that i wanted to just book the win and i was so relieved to actually be up instead of booking another big loss i just wanted to stop playing. however, i was able to inject logic and tell myself i need to stick to the process and combat loser's tilt and winner's tilt both and that i'm cheating myself out of value if i cut winning sessions short when i'm playing well.

naturally i go on to lose back most of my profits shortly thereafter, and feel frustrated that i didn't book the win - but get it quickly in perspective and decide to finish out the last hour of my grind as planned. this time i hit positive variance at the end and finished the session with a nice win, but i'm glad that even if i hadn't run well at the end i was still just going to stick to the healthy process and play well regardless.

i still felt an overly strong emotional reaction to the swings i experienced. earlier in the month i told skraper after having a couple losing sessions and being down 2000 and then coming back that i felt like i had walked across the desert or come through some difficult personal turmoil and was happy to make it out alive. today although i am still WAY overreacting to very standard swings of only a few buyins, i can tell that i am slightly improving that part of my mental game.

session was 3 hours as planned for a profit of +$1500

Gj and gl sir

hey man thanks i appreciate it. hope the grind has been treating you well lately

played live tonight. 4.5 hours for +$410 profit.

pretty happy with my play for the most part. i made one big fold that turned out to be incorrect but another player was all in so i got to see the hand and learned something and regrouped from the frustration fairly quickly. i also took some bad beats (set over set) but hit some run good at the end and finished with a nice profit. on the whole i am happy that i stuck to my goal for session length and put in a quality grinding process.

online
79 hours
+$4200

live
55.5 hours
+$2480

tomorrow i am planning an evening grind, and i am probably just going to play 1/2. i was thinking of just booking the month because i am satisfied with the results and even though it is a mental game leak i'd still prefer not to book a big loser on the final day of the month. i think i'm going to compromise and just grind some 1/2 and possibly table select some juicy 2/4 if i can find it. if i feel zoned in i will grind all midstakes, but if i have any hesitancy i will stick with 1/2 and not feel too bad about the behavior.

sometime in the next few days i will do a month end review of my goals. i have fallen short on many of them, but have also put in a pretty good effort on most fronts and made progress towards my goals.

edit: just realized tomorrow is not the final day of the month lol but i might play live on wednesday anyways

just did study group with skraper and went over some of each other's hands

i wanted to take note to myself of the fact that after reviewing a bunch of these recents hands, the hands that at the time felt like i was worried about misplaying them or i felt emotional distress over turned out to all look quite standard in retrospect, and the spots i think i misplayed (which didn't really amount to much spew at all it seems) weren't even the hands i was stressing over. there were a series of river calls in specific that i made and lost them all and looking back they were all very standard but at the time i quit session because i felt frustrated and was worried i was being a tilt station. writing this down forces me to think on it a bit more and make it more real and helps slowly improve my mental game.

put in what is likely my last online session of the month. 4 hours grinding for a profit of +$550. im fairly pleased with my process today, as i was having a lot of feelings of fear and laziness making me not want to play, but i decided to play two sessions of two hours each and just try to stick to a professional process regardless. at various points throughout session i had to keep injecting logic and squelching urges to quit, but i was able to keep it under control and zone in and play well and i ended up running good. in total this month 83 total online hours for a profit of +$4745. im likely going to play some live tomorrow night and close out the month that way.

just played live. negative variance took a couple rough beats and ended up -$700 over a 4 hour session. i wanted to leave early but decided to stick with the process, and this time i continued to run bad. i played somewhat marginally at the end, and likely could have saved $100-$200 if i had been playing my best. i'm not really happy to close out the month not playing my best, and i definitely need to work on the mental leak of fear of failure near month end going forward.

on the whole i'm fairly satisfied with my effort this month, but there is still lots of room for improvement and goals to follow through on for next month.

online 83 hours +$4745
live 59.5 +$1780
total 142.5 hours +$6525

May Goals

Long Term Goals

$50,000 in profit in 2014
I am on track for this goal.

January: $6360
February: $5095
March: $2010
April: $6525

Relocation
I have not made much progress although my girlfriend has been doing a bit of investigation. Together we need to ramp this up in May to prepare for a summertime move.

Midstakes Mastery
I feel much more comfortable playing 2/4 and 3/6 today than I did a month ago. However, there is still quite a bit of room for improvement in my mental game in regards to handling the variance associated with the limits, and I am still much more confident in handling variance at 1/2 then at 3/6. I am making progress and as long as I keep focusing on healthy processes I should continue make progress.


Short Term Goals

100 Hours per Month of Online Play
I fell short of this goal, but I did surpass 80 hours and added another 60 hours of live so I feel fine with the volume of my play this month. In May I would like to scale back my live play a bit and increase my online hours to achieve the 100 hour goal.

Quality Online Grinding Process
The quality of my online grind was good this month. There is room for improvement, and I need to focus on adhering to my daily of putting in X hours of quality grinding regardless of short term results. I have done a good job eliminating distractions while grinding such as Skype and web browsing for the most part, but I am haven't been perfect and need to keep mindful of staying focused.

Structured Live Poker Sessions
The quality of my live play was night as high as the quality of my online play this month. I definitely feel that I have a lot more live mental leaks than online. A few times this month I was fairly unprofessional with my live grinding, and part of the problem I think is that sometimes view live play as a blend of work and recreation. I would like to continue to play live so that I can continue to inchworm my game, but I would like to keep my play to a maximum of 40 hours next month.


Study and Game Improvement
I didn't finish reading The Mental Game, but I have read more of it and worked significantly on my mental game this month and also done several HH reviews and otherwise worked on my technical game. I need to continue with the process and stick to my study schedule in May and not grow complacent, and I need to be always working to improve on some level as it is a never ending process.

Fitness
I didn't lose any weight this month, but I also didn't gain any weight and I had gained weight for likely the last 6 months in a row. My exercise habits are pretty good, and while I've improved my diet a bit I need to focus on not eating before bedtime.


Final Thoughts
On the whole I put in a fairly solid, professional effort this month. However, there is still plenty of room for improvement and I need to continue to refine and adhere to quality grinding processes.

just played my first session of may. 2 hours of online play for a loss of -$800.

i only had time for a 2 hour session due to my schedule today, and i won't be able to play for the next day or two. typically i have trouble coping with that mentally and don't play well in sessions where i have deadlines, especially in short sessions.

i feel i played well in session, and feel that my mental game was strong in helping me get through the negative variance. i don't like starting out a month stuck and i don't like losing before taking a couple days off, but i can feel that it doesn't bother me quite as much as it used. there was one hand somewhat early in session where i got in AK preflop in a spot that was likely too thin in hindsight, but i recovered quickly and was happy with myself that i actually feel i played quite well today despite circumstances that often give me trouble. trying to make small improvements to my grind bit by bit.

4 hours of live play tonight. loss of -$20. i was a bit tired but decided to play a bit of live tonight, and was happy to play pretty well and stick to my scheduled session length, this is the shortest session of live poker i've played in a while and i want to continue the trend.