i wanna hear the joke

Fwiw I've heard the joke and it is extremely vulgar, offensive, racist, sexist, and bigoted

With just a hint of pedophilia involved

[ ] Telling the joke in this thread

Sorry guys!

I want to go play in the 220+30 Deepstack tourney next Saturday at Harrahs but you guys make it sound like this place SUCKS! Should I just forget about going and just stay home.

Losing a $230 pot all in with 91% equity is a fun way to kick off the holiday weekend. Still up a decent amount though. Major grinding weekend ahead.

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GL this weekend Cuse. Variance owes you an upswing.

May 23 - Part 1 - "Braddock: 'I had a run of bad luck, and this time around, I know what I'm fightin' for.' Reporter: 'Oh yeah? What's that Jimmy?' Braddock: 'Milk.'"



(Quote at 2 minutes)

I caught the end of Cinderella Man on TV the other day. That movie always gets me. It's such an amazing story, the movie is made so well, and there are some very poignant scenes and moments.

That quote I used though is one that can apply to poker. Braddock's comeback was fueled by a few different things, but one of them was his motivation to provide for his family. He knew what he was fighting for.

I don't think I had gotten to the point where I was letting it impact my game much, but mentally I was frustrated being back at 1/2. I was getting close to losing sight of the goal because I wanted to go on an immediate heater and get to 2/5.

Now, I'm not an out of work boxer in the Great Depression. I'm not playing for milk. I'm going to eat at night, whether I win or lose. However, what I'm playing for is almost as important. I'm playing for my life - to create the one I want. To be able to move out. To do something I love for a living, whether it's poker or broadcasting. To be able to improve my social life. Right now, I don't have those things going for me.

I'm playing for my life.

So every decision I make, I need to remember to keep my eyes on the goal and play optimally. That scene was a good reminder.

Resting Up

I got checked in, took in the view, and took a nap before playing. I wanted to be very well rested and mentally sharp.



Hand No. 1

I'm only about five hands into my session when the following hand pops up. We're 7-handed. UTG+1 raises to $7 and gets two calls. I pick up AQ in the SB. I decide this is a good spot to 3bet and make it $35. The PFR calls, there's a fold and the caller shoves all-in for $141.

He was facing a pre-flop raise and a call, so this would be a really weird place to slow play a big pair. I think his range is more like 99+, AK-AJ. These spots always confuse me. Meanwhile the PFR flatted my bet so I'm probably ahead of him or flipping. I move all-in (effective 190) and he folds. The guy who flatted the initial raise and shoved on me shows KK.

But there's an A in the window and another one on the river that I don't need, and I'm off and running.

Note to self: when people's first action (calling) and second action (jamming) don't add up and make any sense, give the bigger one way more weight when you don't have reads.

Hand No. 2

I pick up AT in the BB and check to a few limpers as I'm in the process of ordering a coffee. I'd probably check that anyway.

Flop ($12): QJ7

It checks through.

Turn ($12): 8

I bet $8 and get four calls.

River ($49): K

I bet $25 and get two calls, and obviously the nuts are good.

Hand No. 3

The HJ raises to $10 and I flat him in the CO with AK. The BB calls.

Flop ($27): 678

It checks through.

Turn ($27): 5

It checks to me, I bet $15 and the PFR calls. He checks his cards.

River ($56): J

He thinks for a while and checks to me. I feel like he basically has an overpair and didn't know if he had a club before he checked. If he had AA/KK he probably bets the flop or turn. Thus, I should be able to bluff pretty often here. I bet $30.

He folds face up - JJ. I commend him on his play.

A Quiet Table

This game is mind-numbingly boring. You may notice the complete lack of anecdotes... Well here's the best I've got. The guy next to me is wearing a pair of safety earphones. Like the lawnmower guy in True Detective. Are we cutting the grass or playing poker? Geez!

Hand No. 4

An old lady limps UTG and a middle aged guy limps in MP. The SB folds and I'm in the BB with AQ. I raise to $15. The guy calls.

Flop ($29): AQ5

I bet $20 and he calls.

Turn ($68): 5

He's got about 90 left, so I decide the best way to get it is 30-60. I bet $30 and he calls.

River ($128): K

Ugh... AK got there, diamonds got there. I check. He checks, and obviously that means I'm good and I missed value. I discussed the hand with a couple people... They said pot the flop and jam the turn. I'm not 100% convinced that's right... I do think jamming the river was right because I'm probably not going to fold if he shoves, since

A) I'm getting over 3-to-1
B) I have station tendencies
C) I have two pair
D) He's frustrated that he's running bad.

If I'm going to pay off his flushes, I might as well get value from his other hands.

Hand No. 5

An EP player raises to $15. I call in the HJ with AT. A blind calls and a limper calls.

Flop ($56): T53

We can work with that. The BB and limper check and the PFR moves all-in for $85. I think for a while. Both players behind me have like $250. My concern is that if I flat and one calls, the main pot is like $300 and I don't want to get bet off my hand on a blank turn.

I shove, both fold. I kick myself because I realize I might have blasted a weaker flush draw out of the hand and that's action I want. The PFR turns over 66.

Turn ($226): 6

River ($226): K

Well that's how you get it in with 91% equity and lose, so that's fun.

"That's so sick," I say as I muck. Meanwhile one of the guys who folded invokes I Want To See That Hand on my mucked cards and the dealer turns them over. I inform him that it's extremely rude and he says, "I'm not trying to see how you play, I just wanted to know if my hand was good. Me folding saved you money I hit the King."

I tell him that the rule is to prevent cheating, so by invoking it you are insinuating that I'm cheating. Some old nit then starts mocking me for the whole thing. Why do old people hate me? I wasn't even talking to the guy, talking to anyone, nothing.

Meh, whatever. I felt like I was about to go on a heater when the guy turned over 66. I was already up a healthy amount, but that knocked me back down to like $500. There were still many hours ahead, though... And plenty of big pots would be played... I reminded myself what I was playing for.

To be continued.

Cinderella Man is an absolutely great movie.

I don't want to pass judgment from one trip and I've never played a tournament there... Maybe ask about it in the venue thread.


Thanks. I'm trying not to look at it that way and just know it will turn eventually if I play well.


It's in my all time top five for sure.

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May 23 - Part 2 - "Last name ever, first name greatest. Like a sprained ankle, boy, I aint nothin to play with."

When I'm on my game at 1/2, that's how I feel. I feel like nobody has ever sat in a 1/2 game that was better than me. Bring them all on. In this game, though, it was borderline whiffle ball. So here I was a little ways into my session with a couple of mistakes having been made, but it was a very soft lineup and a few fish had deep stacks. There was chum in the water, and I was circling.

Hand No. 6

There's a limp and I'm in MP with AJ. I raise to $12. The limper calls. He's a middle aged Indian guy who's been limp-calling really wide.

Flop ($24): T55

He checks, I bet $15 and he calls. I feel like his range is still really wide here. He's fishy.

Turn ($54): Q

He bets $20. I consider raising, but decide to call and bluff on the end. If he has the draw, I'll wait and make sure it bricks because he'll call most raises with it.

River ($94): Q

He thinks for a while and checks. I bet $60 and he folds. "Nines no good?" he says. I smile and shake my head no. He says he knows I'm not betting there without a Q or T. "No way," I confirm.



Hand No. 7

MP limps, the SB (villain from Hand 6) calls and I have AQ. I raise to $15 and both call.

Flop ($40): A66

The MP player has a short stack and he's been shoving when checked to. It's checked to him and he shoves $68. But, the dealer thought he checked. I try to play it cool and say, I didn't see a check, so I don't know. The SB stays out of it. The floor is called and it's ruled a bet. The SB calls and I am now a little confused and call.

Turn ($244): 7

The SB jams $132 into the side pot. He's bad enough to take this line with an array of Ax hands, and if he's paying any attention knows the MP player likely has A rag. I call. He shows J6 and scoops the pot.

I stationed that turn probably. When he calls $68 into $40 I should abort the plan and fold the flop perhaps.

Hand No. 8

EP raises to $10. He's a new player who just limp-raised QT for value, I guess? He raised from $7 to $20 which is pretty much never getting folds. I call with 45 and a player in the blinds calls.

Flop ($28): 567

The blind bets $30. He's a tight-ish preflop player who's kind of spazzing post-flop and also running awful and tilting. The PFR calls. The PFR has about $400-$600, the blind has less than $200 and I cover. I raise to $120. The blind jams for $170, the PFR tanks and folds, I snap.

"Two pair," he says, asking if it's good.

"It's good for now," I tell him.

Turn ($396): 2

I flip my cards, he curses.

River ($396): 8

He stares for a long time and mucks, while the other player in the hand complains that I blew him off a bigger flush draw.



Hand No. 9

EP raises to $10, two players call and I call in the CO with 76. Seven players see the flop.

Flop ($66): Q37

It checks to the fish on my right who bets $15. I call, an old guy calls pretty quickly and a young Asian guy who usually plays pretty TAG calls. The old guy always overbets his strong hands, so he's likely drawing. The young guy is aggressive and would have bet with a Q on this board. He's likely got a draw - maybe a disguised gutshot or something.

Turn ($126): 3

It checks to the bettor and he bets $20. That's weak sauce. I've got a nit drawing on my left who won't call a raise and I have a TAG who has shown little interest, and this fish firing $20 into $126 with his nonsense. I raise to $75 and everyone folds.

Hand No. 10

There's a raise to $6 and I call on the button with 88. Seven players see the flop and the pre-flop raiser is the guy who limp-raised QT before.

Flop ($38): K86

The PFR bets $15. There's one call. We're about $800 deep and his weak lead is strong. I raise to $55. He calls and the other player folds.

Turn ($163): 2

He checks and I bet $130. He thinks for a bit and raises to $270. At this point I put him on a range of 66, KK, AA, K6, K8, 86. He's put about $330 in and has about $450 left. The pot size is about $700. I move all-in. He tanks for a long, long time and folds. He then racks up and leaves and says he was up and he didn't want to leave down.

I've been kicking myself for this one ever since, as I let him off the hook. I should have flatted and let him fire the river and jammed.



Hand No. 11

A while later after mostly folding, there's a limp and I overlimp 77. This is an adjustment I am making - more limping behind with middle pairs. An Asian girl on the button raises to $10. A guy who's been running bad and bouncing between tables calls, the limper calls and I call.

Flop ($37): 776

Any time you're going to tweak your strategy, flopping quads is a good way to go. It is so choice. I highly recommend trying it.



It checks through.

Turn ($37): T

It checks to me and with only one player behind, I have to bet here. I bet $20. The button (Asian girl) calls. The SB is running bad guy. He's about to be running worse, because he's reaching for chips. He raises to $65. I wait about 15 seconds and call. The button folds.

It's fun to be trying to range somebody when you flopped quads. Did he flop boat under quads? Turn a boat? Turn a straight? Is he imploding with one pair?

River ($187): 4x

He bets $100 and leaves about $105 behind. I think for just long enough so it's not an insta-shove, and I move all-in. He thinks for about 20 seconds and calls. I flip 'em over.

"Oh, is that all?" he asks as he mucks. I shrug.



Hand No. 12

There is a limp of a fish and I'm in the CO and raise to $15 with A8. The Asian girl calls on the button and the limper calls.

Flop ($43): A23

The limper moves all-in for his last $36. I call and the Asian girl calls.

Turn ($151): 3

I check, she checks.

River ($151): 6

I check, she moves all-in for $209 into a dry side pot. "Wow," I say. "Either a full house or a straight, I take it." I fold.

She proudly shows her bluff with QQ. "Wow! Great bet!" I tell her in a genuine way. Encourage that stuff baby! The short stack scoops it with AQ anyway, and she looks confused as to why only her bet is coming back her way.

Hand No. 13

There's one limp and I raise to $15 from late position with AJ. A guy named Elvis (no joke) in MurMur looking attire calls from the blinds. He checks dark.

Flop ($29): 245

I bet $20 and he calls.

Turn ($68): K

He bets $36 with like $100 behind. I debate shoving, but I don't think he's folding any piece. I have 12, possibly 15 outs, plus implied odds so this is an easy call anyway.

River ($140): 4

He bets $40 leaving less than $100 behind. I toss two black chips out, and he looks frustrated.

"Did you hit the four?" he asks.

"Did you flop it? A3?" he follows up.

"Do you have a big King?" he asks.

"Or maybe you made the flush?" he throws in.

What the hell is this guy trying to talk himself into calling with?

"Would you just raise me with nothing? Bluffing me? I think you might be," he says.

He calls, I show the nut flush, he says of course and mucks. I stack chips.



You can't really see the depth in that one, but it's like $1950.

Unfortunately our table broke a little after that and I moved to a table out front that had a lot of action, but much better players overall.

Hand No. 14

I'll spare the details, but I flopped set under set and got it in on the flop in a $380 pot and didn't one out him... So I wasn't totally running God-like. Only partly.

Total Results: 9 hours, +$1,445.

Mother ****ing BOOM babyyyyyy!!! Really happy for you. Good job.

SWEET!

nice session, better thread

Nice to see you stacking again, Cuse!

Bam!

Thanks guys! So far today I've been 6 outed for a $240 pot and made the overfull to quads in a $470ish pot but I'm only stuck about $150 so I'm playing well and ready to pounce.

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Cuse you headed to the series at all?

Running pretty awful today but hanging in there trying to minimize damage and make a late night comeback with the MurMur crowd.

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Remember, losing the least = winning the most.

Hand I'm not in. Board QhQd6c4s6d. Player on river first to act, who has called to river, shows Kd2d. No pair, no draw. Dealer informs villain he can check or bet. Bets 15. K2 SNAP calls. 69o is good. I insta top off to cover Mr. K2.

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Really like your writing style. You'll be back at 2-5 in no time.

May 24 - "No lie, just know I chose my own fate. / I drove by the fork in the road and went straight."

I was battling adversity in this session and it'd be a theme early and often. I basically caught the worst card on almost every street in every major pot.

I started at a really bad table, and they wouldn't let me table change, despite there being a bazillion 1/2 games running and ours being full. I think the floor was just lazy and didn't want to deal with it.

Hand No. 1

Then MP raises to $16 and I call with 44.

Flop ($31): 237

He checks and I bet $20. He calls.

Turn ($70): 8

He bets $35, which feels like a blocking bet with a draw or something. I call.

River ($140): Q

He bets $50 and I figure he either has air or he spiked the Q with a draw. I call and he shows AQ, for just floating out of position with A high until the river. Nice hand, sir.

Hand No. 2

I'll save you the hand history on this one. I make top full house. The villain makes quads. I lose $230.

I get my own table change

I decided eff the floor in the back of the room and just walk to the front, find a table that looks better and ask THAT floor if I can change to it, and they oblige.

Hand No. 3

There's a limp and I raise to $10 with KT. It's a smaller raise than usual because I didn't notice the limper. The BB raises to $32 and it folds to me. I call, because I've been running over the table - like literally winning about 35% of the pots and I've raised maybe 7 of the last 10 hands. So KT is at the top of my range and I could sense frustration brewing from my opponents.

Flop ($62): JT7

He bets $40 and I consider sticking it in, but decide to flat.

Turn ($142): 8

He checks and I tank. He's got $130ish left. This is a weird spot where I don't really know if I'm ahead or behind, but betting seems right either way. If I'm behind, it's tough to call with an overpair or AJ because I have 9s in my range and he doesn't. If I'm ahead, he has two overcards and is drawing very live and I need to protect my hand.

I slide out about a stack and a half to put him all-in and he tanks for a long time and calls. The river bricks and I show my hand and he shakes his head and mucks. Umm, ok?

On third thought, that was a value shove!

A Crazy Lady is Killing Me - Hands 4-6

A woman sits down and is joking around having fun, and I suspect we're off and running. She's one of a few limpers to my button and I make it $17 with KJ. She calls.

Flop ($35): 866

She checks and I bet $20. She contemplates raising and I decide I'm probably coming back over the top if she does. She calls.

Turn ($75): 3

She checks, I bet $45 and she calls.

River ($165): T

She checks, I check. "King high," I say. She turns over 35. I kind of look at it funny and say nice hand.

For her next act... Limped pot I'm in the BB with K6.

Flop ($12): AK6

I bet $10 and she calls.

Turn ($32): 3

I bet $20 and she raises to $65. I snap fold.

Next, I flop TPGK and pot it with a flush draw out. She calls. Turn's a blank, I bet 3/4 pot. She calls. River is an offsuit A. I check, intending to call as this is a good bluffing card for missed flushes. She checks and has the missed flush - of the A high variety, ship it to the A.

Hand No. 7

Hours go by of two things happening... Me folding like a fiend, or me raising two big cards, whiffing and either c-betting and folding to a raise or check-folding. I was folding to so many raises I think people were picking on it, but there wasn't much I could do short of shoving with A high. I cut down my cbets and tried to tread water.

Then, there's a straddle on my BB. Five players call it, and I pick up A9. I pounce and raise to $35. It folds to the button who tanks for like 45 seconds and moves all-in. It's $100 and change. I ask the dealer how much it is.

Dealer: "100 and a little more."
Me: "Right, how much?"
Dealer: "A little over 100."
Me: "How much more to me? 86?"
Dealer: "Something like that, that sounds right."

I'm one step short of telling him to do his f***ing job and count the chips, but just shoot him the look like dude I need a count, let's go. It's $81 to me, which means there is about $25 in the middle after rake, plus the $70, so it's 2.2 to 1. I haven't run the math on it, but my instinct here is that if his range is like all pairs, a lot of Aces and some Kings, I should call. The way he tanked I don't think he has QQ+, or AK, I'd be really shocked. I call, the board runs out without me hitting and he has AQ and scoops it.

Bleh, I don't really have a problem with it. I think raising all the limpers in a straddle is the right move there, and I think calling off is borderline but not bad. I'll have to pokerstove it later, though.

Hand No. 8

I continue to whiff a lot and keep bleeding away $10-$30 at a time by raising, missing and giving up or cbetting and giving up. Then the following hand goes down against an old man who has been just blasting away at me with raises.

I raise to $10 in LP with AQ. He raises to $20 from the BB and I call.

Flop ($36): AT5

He bets $20 and I call.

Turn ($76): Q

He bets $50 and I call.

River ($176): T

He checks, and I have $167 left. I decide to rep missed clubs and jam, and do so. He snap calls, I show, and he disgustedly shows AKo.

Hand No. 9

I limp in MP behind two limpers with QJ. They're both fish, I want to play pots with them, but raising is going to get called in like four spots and I will need to hit to continue. The player on my left raises to $12, the limpers call and I call.

Flop ($46): 963

The first fish donks $20. The second calls. I contemplate a raise, but I sense bad things from my left. I call. The PFR raises to $85. He has like $230 behind. As he's announcing raise I am thinking this may be a good spot to backraise him and rep a set, because he's shown he can fold an overpair. However, as he slides his chips out I sense extreme strength and put him on 66 or 99. I'm not getting absolute pot odds, but I'm getting good implied odds. I call.

Turn ($256): 7

I check and he snap shoves for like $230. I fold and shake my head and he shows 99. At least I know my read was right and I was likely getting the money in if I hit.

I decide that enough is enough and rack up and leave.

Results: 11 hours, -$332. It certainly could have been worse, considering a couple of the suckouts and coolers. I made one or two plays I'm not thrilled with, but I kept battling, adjusted my style a few times when necessary and got through what could have been a really ugly session with a one buyin and change loss.

At times my game was spectacular, and I couldn't make hands, which is the most frustrating feeling. People were just throwing money away and I couldn't get in the way of it. At other times the game sucked and I ran it over or table changed.

H1: I think raising his blocking bet for thin value and protection has more +EV than just calling down would. A lot of the times villain will be block betting with 2nd or 3rd pair which is obv ahead of a range of small PP and by raising you take the initiative back and get to control the pot OTR by either checking back or putting in a big bet on river cards that are bad for his range.

H3: You played that one great. I really like the way you played the turn.

H4: I think I'm checking back this flop since I would do this with most of my PPs to try and get two streets of value but as played I think this is a spot where you have to decide to barrel most run outs or not bet the flop at all and just give up.

H6: Another spot where you need to triple barrel and either overbet/jam or just x/f the river. Barry Greenstein is the worst card for you besides the flush draw getting there and a regular sized bet is getting called all the time. Your plan to x/c river is a bad idea since NFDs make up a large part of her range. A check/shove is better but not by much. Overall, x/f>overbet/jam>x/jam (EDIT: I changed my min d about this. You played the hand fine I just disagree with your plan to x/c river. My idea to triple and jam is probably a bad idea here.)

H7: Meh. Calling the straddle avoids all this mess but I do the like the play but would rather have hands like A2s-A5s, ATs+ and all PPs.

H8: Good jam OTR. I would prefer to raise the turn for value tho because I think clubs kill our action and make it easier for him to x/f river to a 80bb shove unless it's the Jc or Kc.

H9: Another meh spot. Probably better to just isolate the limpers and raise to $15-$20. You'll be the aggressor and have initiative and the hand might develop differently but it's hard to say.

I think these are the spots you need to work on the most. You're going to need to start double and triple barreling certain run outs to counter the 2/3 of the time you whiff the flop. Next session pay attention to what kind of board textures people give up on and which boards they don't. Start attacking the boards you can push people off of and just give up and don't cbet at all on the others. Having equity when you barrel is of course very important. Flops where you have overcards and backdoor straight/flush potential are good candidates. It's a pretty high variance style at times but the better you get at it the bigger your win rate will get. And it's not like you're playing with case money so you can afford the swings and these are plays you'll need in your arsenal anyways if you want to move up to 2/5 and beyond. I think a lot of LLSNL players forget how important it is to their winrate to be good at bluffing. Most players advocate a strictly value bet mentality and fold to big raises/bets because "people never bluff at 1-2." If this is true, than a good player would exploit this by betting/raising big as a bluff more.

GL going forward Cuse.

I'll respond in more detail to some of those but to the last point, I probably barrell and bluff more than 95% of winning 1/2 players. In this case with this lineup it would have been lighting money on fire.

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