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02-13-2014 , 06:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by callipygian
100 maxaments

Dark-skinned Asian ex-con: "I've got sevens." (calls preflop)

Two callers, including an Asian to my right, I call Ye Olde Nine Three Suited OTB, Asian to my left calls the SB.

Him: "This light-skinned Asian posse down there is out to get me!"

Flop: K43r, checked around.

Him: "My sevens are scared of the king."

Me: "No way, we Asians gotta stick together. In prison, we'd be in the same gang."

Him: "AW HELL NAW!"

Turn: A, checked around.

Him: "My sevens are scared of the ace."

Me: "No Asian solidarity in prison? I get shived in the shower and die alone?"

Him: "Pretty much."

River 4.

He bets $25 (gross overbet). "My sevens must be good."

Me: "**** prison. **** Asian solidarity, I call." Everyone else folds.

I fastroll, declaring, "Pair!"

Him: "... what the ****?"

He turns over 77.
You're horrible
02-13-2014 , 07:18 PM
I just ate an entire box of Girl Scouts cookies. Ugh.
02-13-2014 , 07:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesse8888
You're horrible
That's what everyone at the table says!
02-13-2014 , 08:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by callipygian
100 maxaments

Dark-skinned Asian ex-con: "I've got sevens." (calls preflop)

Two callers, including an Asian to my right, I call Ye Olde Nine Three Suited OTB, Asian to my left calls the SB.

Him: "This light-skinned Asian posse down there is out to get me!"

Flop: K43r, checked around.

Him: "My sevens are scared of the king."

Me: "No way, we Asians gotta stick together. In prison, we'd be in the same gang."

Him: "AW HELL NAW!"

Turn: A, checked around.

Him: "My sevens are scared of the ace."

Me: "No Asian solidarity in prison? I get shived in the shower and die alone?"

Him: "Pretty much."

River 4.

He bets $25 (gross overbet). "My sevens must be good."

Me: "**** prison. **** Asian solidarity, I call." Everyone else folds.

I fastroll, declaring, "Pair!"

Him: "... what the ****?"

He turns over 77.
Would I get infracted if I posted one of the "COOL STORY, BRO" pics in response to this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Ron
I just ate an entire box of Girl Scouts cookies. Ugh.
That's so sick.
02-13-2014 , 08:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jon_locke
Does anybody have a link to the starting hand chart/group in skalnaky holdem poker book (not hfap), I have a prop bet on it.
Let me know if you still need this; I think I have an electronic copy of it and could dropbox it or show it the next time we're both in the poker room.
I'm afraid my hard copy is in storage on the east coast so that won't work.
02-13-2014 , 08:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlanBostick
Would I get infracted if I posted one of the "COOL STORY, BRO" pics in response to this?
Probably. Doug and BBB moderate this forum with iron fists.
02-13-2014 , 08:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by callipygian
Probably. Doug and BBB moderate this forum with iron fists.
Like this guy, amirite?

02-13-2014 , 08:57 PM
Regulators! Mount up!
02-13-2014 , 09:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Ron
I just ate an entire box of Girl Scouts cookies. Ugh.
Samoas?
02-13-2014 , 10:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Ron
I just ate an entire box of Girl Scouts cookies. Ugh.
I thought they only came in single serving size.
02-13-2014 , 10:24 PM
To Callipygian:

Fold preflop.

OK, I guess I can justify a call on the button with this trash if your hand-reading skills are so good that it is as if your opponents are actually telling you their hole cards, allowing you to play perfect...ah...um...er...

Just fold preflop.
02-13-2014 , 10:36 PM
Played poker for the first time in a month yesterday.

Brag: got an 8/16 seat right away
Beat: lost 2.5 racks right away. Insta-quit the game after the following hand:

Limper limps, I open AQo, horrible woman coldcalls, old horrible man coldcalls, toothless asian man who is raising every other hand blind 3bets blind from the SB, limper calls, I cap, everyone calls.

Flop AQ8r. SB leads, limper raises, I 3bet, old man calls 3 cold, both of the other players call.
Turn 9r. SB and limper check, I bet, old man calls, other 2 call.
River 9r. SB and limper check, I bet, old man calls, other 2 fold. I table my hand, he shakes his head, says nice hand, and then turns over J9o.

I pick up without saying a word.

Brag: subequently got a seat in a shorthanded 8/16 O8 game after rage-quitting the 8/16 holdem
Beat: somehow stayed until 1:30 AM playing short-handed O8
Brag: but left up 5 racks in the game.

So still a victorious return, but it might be a while before I play poker again.
02-13-2014 , 10:42 PM
I'm here!
02-13-2014 , 10:48 PM
Apparantly Diamond Lil's forgot to pay Shufflemaster rent or something. There are wooden boards covering the holes where the machines used to be on every table.
02-14-2014 , 12:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Ron
I just ate an entire box of Girl Scouts cookies. Ugh.
for years my lady ate like that. now she's gotten seriously into lifting weights and working out and eating healthy and in 3 months she literally has 6 pack abs. it's stupefying.

I did once see her eat two tubes of thin mints (one box) straight from the freezer. I ate 4 caramel delights today and feel bad about it.
02-14-2014 , 12:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by callipygian
That's what everyone at the table says!
02-14-2014 , 01:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ninefingershuffle
Samoas?
Thin Mints. I have to say, I felt like complete **** the rest of the day, I can't remember feeling so crappy in my life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by daveopie
I thought they only came in single serving size.
I think there's two servings in each box. Each serving is a thousand calories though.

Last edited by Captain Ron; 02-14-2014 at 01:48 AM.
02-14-2014 , 01:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesse8888
I did once see her eat two tubes of thin mints (one box) straight from the freezer.
I ate like that in college, but I'm too old to eat like that now.

Not to worry though, I have another box of Tagalogs(sp?) for tomorrow.
02-14-2014 , 01:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesse8888
I doubt it was as much the stereotype as it was the fact that I posted UTG.

"We only need 4 for the jackpot rite guyz?"
02-14-2014 , 02:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by asmitty
Played poker for the first time in a month yesterday.

Brag: got an 8/16 seat right away
Beat: lost 2.5 racks right away. Insta-quit the game after the following hand:

Limper limps, I open AQo, horrible woman coldcalls, old horrible man coldcalls, toothless asian man who is raising every other hand blind 3bets blind from the SB, limper calls, I cap, everyone calls.

Flop AQ8r. SB leads, limper raises, I 3bet, old man calls 3 cold, both of the other players call.
Turn 9r. SB and limper check, I bet, old man calls, other 2 call.
River 9r. SB and limper check, I bet, old man calls, other 2 fold. I table my hand, he shakes his head, says nice hand, and then turns over J9o.
Can't raise his disguised monster. You might have AA/QQ/88! Can only put in the raise when you're sure.
02-14-2014 , 03:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jdr0317
Can't raise his disguised monster. You might have AA/QQ/88! Can only put in the raise when you're sure.
Really, it was the slowroll that did me in. I find it insanely tilting and I definitely may have blown up a few times at folks over it.

Last edited by asmitty; 02-14-2014 at 03:58 AM.
02-14-2014 , 12:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pid Koker
Apparantly Diamond Lil's forgot to pay Shufflemaster rent or something. There are wooden boards covering the holes where the machines used to be on every table.
LOL WTF. Any word on when they'll be back? I was thinking about heading down there tonight.
02-14-2014 , 12:18 PM
Howdy

02-14-2014 , 12:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by asmitty
Really, it was the slowroll that did me in. I find it insanely tilting and I definitely may have blown up a few times at folks over it.
I tend to brush it off, because slowrollers are often terrible anyway and just give it back.

One good example was a 20 hand where I open some MP w/ A9s, get cold called by some awful player, and a BB defend from a certified maniac that's been spewing all over the place (and free falling in stack size since people adjusted to his spewing antics).

Flop TT6 or something, x/b/bad raises/maniac tank calls/I call

Turn A and maniac just bets right out. I call, baddie folds.

River is a 9, now vil checks, I bet, villain says something like "value betting again, a******? I raise" and slams $80 into the pot. I call because IMR what kind of stupid line is this?

He rolls the A. Waits a sec. Then rolls the T.

I didn't bother get tilted, because I had already won a ginormous pot earlier, and got him to put 3 BB into the big streets drawing completely dead in the hand. Ended up hit 'n running the game to go to my twin sister's NYE party up 2 racks in 2 hours (after McSlowRoll busted when he was in for 6 racks).
02-14-2014 , 01:05 PM
Fold river IMO. Speech + check raise + confrontational with actions = monster. It takes a special kind of player to do this as a spite bluff.

      
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