Quote:
Originally Posted by Howard Beale
Her mind is sharp and she has an interest in living and does not belong in a home, however nice.
You may want to reconsider what "a home" is. It's not necessarily what it used to be 20-30 years ago. There's a much wider range of services than there used to be, especially as the aging population is getting larger and people are living longer.
For example, there are facilities where it's literally just old people living together as a social community, and residents have full freedom to go where they please, and do whatever they want. There are ones that are minimal care, where they just check in regularly (usually daily) with the residents to make sure everything is okay (so that if someone falls, they don't go for 3-4 days without someone noticing).
http://www.caregiverslibrary.org/car...s-article.aspx
Quote:
Independent Living Communities
In independent living retirement communities, the care recipient has full choice and control over all aspects of his or her life. He or she must be independent in all aspects of daily living such as bathing, dressing, being mentally alert, having bowel and bladder control, and being able to walk. These communities provide a living environment for individuals of a certain age and come in many housing styles, including single-family dwellings, townhouses, duplexes, high-rise apartments, condominiums, and mobile homes, which are either rented or owned by the individual. Additionally, the variety of services offered varies between retirement communities, with some offering only police and fire protection and others offering social and recreational activities as well.
[Highlighted to show the level of independence that is possible.]
If it is causing you emotional distress (and it appears that it is), these types of facilities give you a little extra space to not be "just a caretaker" for your mom. She can have a life that is a little more independent of you, and you more independent of her. That could be very constructive for her, especially if she feels guilt for being a disruption to your life (which is definitely a thing that happens).